Holiday Hire (The Cartwright Family #2)

Chapter 18

18

Phoebe

R egret continues to expand within me with every word Alexander utters.

How could I have been so stupid?

He keeps asking me questions, but I can barely look at him. I wish I could tell him to shut up, but that would make things worse. Plus, it wouldn't be right to say that in front of his sons or the rest of the family.

The entire breakfast, I replay everything we did. Alexander keeps trying to pull me into conversation, but I quickly answer things and then redirect questions to the others.

It feels like this meal will never end. I can barely eat, only playing with my food most of the time. Somehow, I make it through, ignoring Alexander as much as possible, and continuing to feel sick.

He just wanted to get laid.

While I didn't have any expectations, nor did I think I'd end up in bed with him, it's clear I'm just another notch on his belt. And did he think I would run and tell the boys I slept with him? I realize it's a touchy subject, but seriously!

His voice haunts me. All I hear is, "You're from California, and I'm from here. I know you have your life, and we have ours."

My gut twists every time it repeats in my head. And it's clear I'm nothing to him. Alexander doesn't see me as anything but someone to play with his stallion.

Disdain fills me. I slept with my boss. I wish I could go back in time. I wouldn't have gone to the races or bar with him. And there's no way I would've slept with him in his bed.

When everyone is finished eating, I take my plate into the kitchen. I need some fresh air, and I'm ready to leave the house.

Alexander follows me, stepping so close, my skin buzzes. And I hate myself even more. I shouldn't feel anything toward him now, but I can't easily turn my attraction off.

"Pheebs—"

"Don't," I warn, my voice shaking.

He pauses and glances behind me. He lowers his voice even further, claiming, "Everything I said came out wrong. You're not understanding what I meant."

I scoff. "I understand everything. You were perfectly clear about where you stand." I place my plate in the dishwasher and brush past him, exiting the kitchen and returning to the dining room.

I force a smile and say, "Ace. Wilder. Are you guys ready to go?"

They jump up.

I point at their plates. "You know the drill."

They pick up their dishes and disappear into the kitchen.

I move toward the entranceway. I snatch the keys off the hook; they're for the SUV Ruby told me I was allowed to drive whenever I wanted.

Alexander appears again. "Where are you going?"

I take a deep breath. I'm going to have to deal with him. He's still my boss. No matter what happened between us, I still love my job, and the kids mean a lot to me. Plus, I'm not ready to go back to California. I have nowhere to go, and I don't have enough money saved to even put a deposit down on an apartment.

I have my gambling winnings.

No, they're not mine, I remind myself.

I meet his eye. "I'm taking the kids to town. We're going shopping."

He arches his eyebrows. "Shopping?"

"Yeah, is that okay?" I question and then cringe. I sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be snippy."

He steps closer. "Pheebs?—"

"Where are you going, Phoebe?" Jagger asks, interrupting us.

Alexander's face fills with annoyance. He shoots his brother a glare.

"You two going together?" Jagger smirks.

My stomach churns so fast, I put my hand over it. The blood drains from my face to my toes. Then, heat burns my cheeks.

Jagger knows.

Goose bumps pop out on my skin. My lips tremble. I look at Alexander and mutter, "You told him?"

Alexander's eyes widen. He shakes his head. "No, of course not," he says.

I don't believe him.

He spins on his brother. "She's going to town. I'll meet you at the corral."

Jagger gives us an arrogant look, and I want to crawl into a hole.

As soon as the door shuts, I seethe, "You told your brothers? How could you?"

Alexander steps closer and grabs my arm. He pulls me into a side room and shuts the door, starting, "Pheebs?—"

"Stop calling me that," I say through gritted teeth.

"Phoebe, I did not tell them anything. I promise you."

"Them? Who else knows?"

He cringes.

"Who?"

"Just Mason."

"You jerk! How could you?"

"I didn't tell them anything!"

"Then how do they know?"

He tilts his face to the ceiling, shakes his head, and closes his eyes.

"How?" I push, close to tears and trying to hold them back.

He opens his blues and informs me, "He saw us kissing outside when we got home last night."

I gape at him, feeling like a total failure and more embarrassed than ever. I'm sure his brothers think I screw my bosses all the time.

He tries to reassure me. "They aren't going to say anything."

"Sure they won't," I accuse.

He steps closer. Before I know it, his arms are around me and he holds my head to his chest. I try to push him away, but he holds me tightly. He murmurs in my ear. "Everything's fine. You're taking what I said the wrong way. And I know what I said didn't come out right, but don't let Jagger bother you. Everything's fine."

I melt into him for a moment, but then I push out of his grasp. "I'm ready to go."

"Phoebe..."

In a stern voice, I state, "Alexander, I'm not doing this right now. If you feel the need to talk about this, we'll do it at another time, okay?"

He studies me for a moment and then nods. "Okay. But I'm sorry I said things the way I did."

I don't respond. I just walk out the door and head toward the SUV.

The boys come running out after me.

Alexander follows, questioning, "Do you need money for your trip?"

"No," I answer.

"Do you have the credit card?"

"I don't need it."

"Dad, we're good," Ace says.

Alexander glances at us suspiciously.

"Come on, kids, let's go," I say, then get into the SUV.

Wilder jumps in the front and Ace in the back.

"Put your seat belts on," I tell them.

They buckle up, and we take off toward town.

Wilder asks, "So we can pick whatever color we want for our rooms?"

"Yep. Do you know what color you want?" I question.

"Hmm, maybe red."

"I'm going to do green," Ace proclaims.

I ask, "Light green or dark green?"

"I don't know. Maybe in the middle."

I smile at him through the rearview mirror. "Green's a good color. So is red. What about you, Wilder? Dark or light?"

"I don't know. I'll let you know when I see it," he says.

I smile. "Fair enough."

By the time I get to town, my insides have calmed. I push the issues between Alexander and me out of the way and focus on the kids. We go into a hardware store and find the paint samples.

"Have at it," I tell them, then pull several colors out to see how they coordinate next to each other.

Wilder asks, "What color will you do your room, Phoebe?"

"I don't know yet. It'll depend on what we do for the rest of the house."

Ace asks, "You're going to do the same color?"

"No," I say, as if it's a sin.

"Good. That would be boring," he declares.

I laugh and then pick up several bright colors and a few muted ones.

Ace picks out an apple green, and Wilder selects a cherry red. We go up to the man behind the paint counter, and I put all the swatches down, telling him which colors we want and how much of each.

He points to a chart. "Do you want flat, eggshell, or one of our other finishes?"

I study the sheens and decide, "Let's go with eggshell. Can you do it in the one that claims it doesn't scuff up?"

He nods. "Sure. It will take me about twenty minutes to mix all this."

"That's okay," I reply.

The boys and I stroll down different aisles, picking out a couple of new light fixtures.

We return to the counter and load the paint cans into the cart. Then we head to the checkout, and I pay with my racetrack winnings.

We leave, and the boys load all the paint into the back of the SUV. I chirp, "Ready to go find some more stuff?"

"Yeah, this is fun," Ace says.

"Dad's going to be so surprised," Wilder adds.

Alexander's face appears in my mind, and my heart aches. I push it out again, saying, "Okay, let's go."

We get back in the car and drive down the street. I pull into a lot for a home decor store. The boys and I pick out posters and art for their walls. I grab a handful of blank canvases so we can each create something for our rooms.

Then, we find some window treatments, sheets, and quilts for all the beds, and some throw blankets for the main room. By the time we're done, I've spent everything except $820.

"I don't think we can fit anything else in the SUV," Ace states.

"Nope. What do you guys say? Are you hungry? You want to go grab some lunch?"

"Can we go to Piggly's?" Wilder suggests.

Ace nods. "Yeah, they have the best food."

I haven't been to Piggly's, so I ask, "Where is it at?"

"We know where. We'll direct you while you drive," Wilder says.

"Shotgun!" Ace proclaims, running to the passenger door.

Wilder groans. "Younger kids should be in the back."

I tousle his hair. "Not a chance. Get in the back seat. It's your brother's turn to ride up front."

He grumbles but gets in the back. They direct me where to go, and we pull up to Piggly's. It's a cute little diner, and there are a lot of people inside. We have a five-minute wait and then they seat us in a booth. Ace sits next to me, and Wilder sits across from me.

He asks, "Can we start painting today?"

I glance at my watch. "I don't know. There's a lot going on because of Thanksgiving. We'll have to see what Willow and Paisley want us to do when we return," I reply.

Ace adds, "I'm so excited we don't have school this week."

"Yeah, I'm over school," Wilder agrees.

I claim, "School's not that bad, especially yours. It's a really nice place with great teachers. Besides, you need to learn. You'll be happy with your education when you're older."

Wilder shrugs. "I don't know what good it'll do when I'm running the ranch."

"Well—"

"Wilder. Ace. Fancy meeting you here," a blonde with curly hair chirps.

"Hey, Cheyenne," Wilder says.

"Hi! Have you met our nanny, Phoebe?" Ace asks her.

She peers at me, and my stomach flips. She holds her hand out, stating, "Oh, yes. I heard there was someone else staying on the ranch. You were at Boots last night, right?"

My heart beats hard. I take her hand and reply, "Yes."

"She went to the races with Dad. He lost a bet and she won big-time!" Ace boasts.

I glance over at him, wishing he wouldn't tell her anything. I'm unsure why, but she's making me uncomfortable.

I look back at her. "How do you all know each other?"

Her lips curve into a tight smile. She says, "I'm friends with Alexander. I've known him for a long time. We go way back."

Something about the way she says it makes me feel even more off.

Wilder offers, "They went to school together."

"Oh, that's nice. Well, nice to meet you," I reply.

Her gaze drifts over me and then locks back on my eyes. "Yes, very nice meeting you. I'm sure I'll see you around."

"Okay. Sounds good," I say, but everything inside of me tells me I don't want to see this woman again. She seems friendly enough, but the bad feeling I'm getting is telling me something isn't right.

She disappears just as the server steps up to the table.

"Welcome to Piggly's. I haven't met you before. I'm Martha," the older woman states.

"Martha, this is our nanny, Phoebe. She's awesome," Ace exclaims.

I laugh. "Well, thank you!"

Martha's warm smile makes me feel better. She declares, "It's nice to meet you. And I haven't seen you guys in a while. Has your dad been too busy to bring you to town?"

Wilder offers, "Yeah, and Grandma and Grandpa aren't back in town until Tuesday."

"I heard they went on that mission trip early. I was surprised they'd leave over the holidays," Martha admits.

"They're going to return for Thanksgiving and Christmas," I inform her.

Martha smiles in approval. "That's good. Holidays without Ruby and Jacob just wouldn't be the same. Now, what can I get you to drink?"

I order water, and the boys order sodas.

Martha asks, "Do you like Reubens? We have those on special today."

I admit, "I don't think I've ever had one."

She feigns shock, dramatically gasping. "What? Then you have to have one. It's absolutely delicious. I guarantee it."

I laugh. "Okay, a Reuben it is."

"I want the cheeseburger and fries, please," Ace tells her.

Wilder states, "I'll take the bacon grilled cheese with the tomato soup, please."

"Done and done. Let me get your drinks, and your food won't take that long. I'll put it in as a priority." Martha winks.

I grin. "Sounds good. Thank you."

She pats me on the shoulder. "It's nice meeting you, Phoebe. Glad someone's taking care of the boys."

"Thank you."

She leaves, and I glance around the restaurant. My chest tightens.

Cheyenne's staring at me through slitted eyes, tapping her fingers on the table. She's not faking anything now.

I look away and converse with the boys, but I can feel her glaring daggers at me. I look back and find I'm not wrong.

Why is she looking at me like that?

My insides quiver.

Our food comes out, and Martha sets it down just as Cheyenne gets up. She strolls over to us and waits for Martha to leave, then says, "Make sure you tell Alexander I said hi."

"Okay, I will," I reply, hoping she'll leave.

Her lips twist into a vicious smile. "Good. And let him know I'm ready to ride that stallion of his again."