Holiday Hire (The Cartwright Family #2)

Chapter 24

24

Phoebe

A nger, jealousy, and too many bad memories tear through me. I'd sit at home at all hours of the night, wondering if Lance was cheating on me, and everything about the encounter with Cheyenne makes me relive those old ghosts.

The worst part is Alexander is the total opposite of Lance. He's always made me feel safe and excited about what's growing between us.

Until now.

The thoughts running through my head right now dig the knife deeper.

Why would a woman try so hard to get a man if he told her he wasn't interested?

She wouldn't unless he left a door open.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Am I?

Don't be stupid like last time.

Alexander wouldn't do that to me.

I didn't think Lance would when we first got together either.

I stomp to the truck, yank open the door, and jump into the passenger seat. I slam the door hard, my rage growing.

How dare she?

Why was he even with her?

Does he really find her attractive when she's so bold and pushy?

The thought of them together makes me feel ill. More agonizing assumptions enter my mind.

If he was into her, how could he possibly be into me?

Why am I saying was into her?

Maybe he's still into Cheyenne and only pretended to want her to leave?

The questions and doubts I didn't have before Cheyenne's appearance, spin faster and faster. I blink harder, willing myself not to cry.

Alexander gets into the driver's seat. "Pheebs?—"

"Don't!" I warn.

He claims, "You're not being fair."

I huff. "I'm not being fair? Your girlfriend interrupts our date, sits across from you, and holds your hand. And you sit there and let her!"

"I was as shocked as you were. I told her to leave. And I pulled my hand away! You saw me!" he argues.

I scoff. "Yeah, once you knew I was behind you."

"I thought I made it perfectly clear I'm no longer interested in her, nor do I want anything to do with her. I told her multiple times. You heard me. So I'm not sure how much clearer you want me to be," he states.

I seethe, "She was pretty clear she wants to take another ride on your stallion!"

His face turns red.

I add, "I'm pretty sure if you go back inside, she'll kindly spread her legs for you right in the booth."

He groans. "Come on, Phoebe."

"Oh, don't you dare act like I'm exaggerating! She wasn't taking no for an answer!"

"Yes, but I was. I was nothing but adamant I wanted nothing to do with her. Or did you conveniently miss that part?" He raises his eyebrows.

I keep my glare on him, annoyed with the entire situation. And I can't help wondering how he could be into me if he found her attractive enough to do everything I'm assuming they've done.

Alexander reaches for my thigh.

I move closer to the door. "Don't touch me right now."

"Pheebs, come on. It's over with her, and I've been up front with her about it. And there's no reason to let her ruin our night."

I snap my head toward him. "No reason to let her ruin our night? She's in the bar, talking about your dick, Alexander."

He clenches his jaw, staring at me.

My insides quiver harder. I lower my voice, and it shakes as I say, "She seems to think you're still together too."

He claims, "I'm not with her. I've told you what our relationship was about and that it's done."

I boom, "Why does she think you're still together, then? Oh, wait, maybe because you're friends with benefits and haven't told her it's over. Or are you keeping her on the sideline for when I leave?"

His eyes turn to slits. "Leave? What are you talking about?"

I close my mouth, feeling sick from my insides shaking so hard. I stare out the window, clenching my hands together.

He softens his tone, asking, "Pheebs, are you leaving?"

"My employment's up after the two-month period, you know that."

Silence fills the cab. I wait for him to tell me I don't have to go after the two months are up, that this is real between us, and he wants me to stay, but the longer the silence goes on, the worse it gets. I blink hard, but my tears win.

And I fear it's true. What if I'm just another friend with benefits to Alexander, even if he claims we're more?

Maybe I'll be tossed aside just like Cheyenne was.

It serves that woman right.

How could he ever be with her?

"Pheebs." He reaches for my hand.

I close my eyes, take several deep breaths, and swipe some tears off my cheek.

He sternly orders, "Phoebe, look at me."

I slowly turn my head toward him, questioning, "What do you see in her anyway?"

He clenches his jaw.

I scoff. "What? I'm not supposed to ask? She's in the bar talking about your stallion, and I'm not supposed to ask?"

"Stop talking about my dick. And she shouldn't have said that," he adds.

More anger hits me. "You think? Or she just shouldn't have said it because now I'm pissed? Actually, how many other women in town know about your stallion?"

He stares at me for a few minutes, taking shallow breaths and gritting his teeth.

I wait him out.

He snarls, "I'm not fucking everybody in town, Phoebe."

I accuse, "No, you're fucking her!"

His voice rises. "I'm not fucking Cheyenne anymore. I told you it's over between us."

"Then why doesn't she think that?" I repeat.

He blows out a frustrated breath, offering, "Phoebe, if she wants to keep making herself look like a fool, I can't do anything about it. But I told her it was over."

"When did you tell her it was over?"

"The last time she texted me, after you and I decided we were going to see where this goes. And I, for one, want to see where this goes. But what about you? Do you no longer want to be with me because of Cheyenne acting like a child?" he questions.

My heart beats faster. My pulse bangs between my ears. My chest tightens to the point I can barely breathe. Everything inside me trembles harder. I turn toward the window and put my hand over my face, unable to stop the barrage of tears.

Alexander slides his arm around my shoulders. "Phoebe, come on, this isn't how tonight's supposed to go. I would never want to hurt you. I told you about the arrangement Cheyenne and I had, and there's nothing else to say about it. I made it clear to her our situation was over. I'll show you the text message I sent her the last time she contacted me."

I sniffle, trying to stop crying.

He turns my chin toward him and asks, "Do you want to see the messages? I reiterated it three times, and all I kept saying was, 'It's over. Stop contacting me.' Do you want to see them?"

My voice cracks. "I don't know what I want."

His face falls.

Tension mounts between us.

I can't stand his gaze on me anymore. I turn back toward the window and softly ask, "Can we go, please?"

"Pheebs..." he says with desperation in his voice.

"Please, I want to go," I say, hating myself for being so emotional, detesting how Cheyenne acted like I was nothing and dug up all my old ghosts, and loathing the way Alexander's looking at me.

All I want is him. But the thoughts of him with that woman, and especially when she so confidently claimed she knows what he needs, drives me insane. Add to it her adamant insinuations that I'm not good enough for Alexander, and it makes me wonder if I am enough for him.

What if she is better for him than I am?

He reaches for me, putting his hand on my thigh. "Pheebs, look at me."

I try to, but I can't. I look away with more tears rolling over my cheekbones.

"Please look at me," he begs.

I admit, "I can't right now. Please, let's just go."

Another moment passes. He slowly lifts his hand off my thigh and starts the truck. Country music blares into the cab, and he quickly shuts it off.

We drive in silence. I barely notice my surroundings. It's dark out, and I can't look away from the window. I try to calm myself the entire time, taking deep breaths and telling myself Cheyenne and what she said don't matter.

I attempt to convince myself he doesn't want anything to do with her, but it's hard. She didn't seem to think he didn't want anything to do with her. And I still can't fathom what kind of woman sits there continuing to hit on a man when they've already been told that person doesn't want to be with them.

The questions keep coming and coming, pummeling me until I feel semi-crazy. When Alexander stops the truck, I feel no better or calmer. I'm still silently crying.

He gets out, and I blink a few times, staring out into the darkness, unsure where we are. He comes around the truck and opens my door.

"Where are we?" I question, wiping the tears from my face.

He unbuckles my seat belt and turns me toward him. He puts his hands on my cheeks, answering, "We're on one of our acres on the north side of the ranch."

"Is this where you bury my body?" I try to tease, but it's emotion filled.

His lips twitch. He answers, "I'm only burying your body if you're next to me."

"Don't say stuff like that," I blurt out.

He arches his eyebrow. "Pheebs?—"

"Don't say stuff like that. You know you don't know what's between us. You're figuring this out. I'm figuring this out. Don't say long-term stuff like that," I reprimand.

He stares at me. The silence becomes too much. The tension thickens, and thoughts run through my head about how I don't know where this ends.

After my two-month contract is up, will he kick me out? Is it going to be over between us? Am I going to have to figure out where to move to and get new employment with a broken heart?

I scold myself, trying to convince my brain we haven't been together long enough for me to have a broken heart, yet I realize it's too late.

I'm in love with Alexander Cartwright, and even though he doesn't love me, I hope he will someday. But he might never because he's used to casual, and I don't even know how to do anything but serious.

He tugs me closer to him so my legs are between his hips. He puts his hand through my hair and leans closer, stopping inches from my face. His hot breath hits my lips. His challenging stare locks on my eyes. He orders, "Listen to me, Phoebe. There's nothing between Cheyenne and me. I told you we were just friends with benefits. I've never had deep feelings for her. I never will have deep feelings for her."

"What does that even mean?"

"What does what mean?" he questions.

"Deep feelings," I ask, scared I'll not get the answer I want.

He doesn't hesitate, declaring, "It means I care about you. It means when I think about the person I want to be with, it's you, not her or any other woman. You . Do you understand that?"

His words should make me feel better and heal anything between us, yet a small part of me isn't satisfied. I want him to tell me he loves me like I love him, but he doesn't, or he would tell me. And I wonder if he ever will.

Am I in another situation where I'll be left alone, wondering where I went wrong with the man in my life?

Alexander presses his lips to mine. As much as I want to fight him, I can't. His tongue urgently pushes against mine, and within seconds, I'm submitting to him, kissing him with the cold air circling our bodies.

He retreats. "Pheebs, I'm only going to say this one more time. I need you to listen and really hear me. Do you understand?"

I take a shaky breath and nod. "Okay."

He asserts, "You're the one I want, no one else. I don't care what Cheyenne says or how loud she screams it. There was never anything besides sex between us, and there never will be."

"Do you miss it?" I blurt out and then cringe. I hate that I'm expelling all my fears to him.

His face drops. "Besides Cheyenne interrupting our date with her false narrative, have I given you any reason to doubt how I feel about you?"

My insides quiver harder. I ask, "But what about the sex?"

He grunts, claiming, "I don't miss anything about Cheyenne, including the sex. I love everything you and I have together."

He loves everything between us.

Does he love me ?

It's not the same thing as saying "I love you."

I just need to give him more time.

He continues, "I mean it, Phoebe. You're the one I want. Now, what do I have to do to make you believe it?"

I swallow hard and push away Cheyenne's voice in my head, along with the look she gave me, that screamed I was worthless and she was everything to him.

Alexander urges, "Tell me."

I softly answer, "Just kiss me again."

He grins, and within seconds, I'm back in my nirvana of Alexander's lips and tongue all over me. Before I know it, he's pulling off my pants, and a loud clang echoes in the darkness from his belt buckle hitting the metal sideboard.

I hold him tighter, drowning in him, desperately wanting all of him for only myself.

He lowers his face, pushing me back so my elbows rest on the console. Then his tongue swipes against my clit with ferocity.

He groans as I start quivering. Only this time, it's not from sadness. It's from adrenaline building up in every part of my body.

My fingers slide through his hair, clenching it, pushing him closer to me. My thighs squeeze against his cheeks, my body already trembling.

He flicks and sucks, and flicks and sucks, and I feel like I'm being swept up in a tornado that's destroying everything in its path.

Incoherent cries fly from my mouth. Adrenaline spins everywhere as a high slams into all my cells, and the world turns fuzzy. Before I know it, he's inside of me.

His cock thrusts in and out. He slides his tongue back into my mouth with the taste of my orgasm all over it. He murmurs. "Fuck, you're the one I want, baby girl. Always you."

I moan, another wave of endorphins bursting in my veins.

He flicks his tongue on my ear, adding, "All day long, I sit and think about you and everything I want to do to you."

"Like what?" I breathe.

He murmurs, "How it feels to be inside your tight little pussy. The noises you make, like right now. Everything. How you touch me, how you kiss me. How you secretly gaze at me when no one else is looking. Everything, Pheebs. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I affirm in a ragged breath, blinking hard from the white light stealing my vision.

He thrusts harder, going deeper, stretching my walls to the point I feel like I might explode.

My arms circle around him. I lace my fingers in his thick locks, tugging on them. My body violently convulses against his.

He groans, declaring, "Fuck, my stallion only loves you. You understand me?" Then he releases everything he has inside of me, gritting out before I can answer, "Fucking greedy pussy. You want all of me, don't you, baby girl?"

"Yes, all of you."

His hot breaths pant against my neck. He thrusts harder and harder until I'm screaming in ecstasy.

Everything flashes from white to black and white again. Then the quivers simmer while his breathing slows.

I should let him go, but I can't. I never want to let him go. And I realize I'm utterly fucked.

If Alexander doesn't fall in love with me, I'll never love again. This isn't anywhere near what I experienced with anyone, including Lance.

He doesn't move for a while, and it's as if he can't let me go either. When he finally retreats, he looks deep into my eyes, holding me firmly. He adamantly asserts, "You're the one I want, Pheebs. Don't forget it. Do you understand?"

I nod. "Yes."

He slowly grins. "Good. Now, let's go back home. We're going to have a new bet tonight."

I giggle. "Oh?"

Mischief fills his expression. "Yep. We're going to play naked Christmas trivia. New stakes though."

I smile, feeling happy again. I ask, "What are we betting this time?"

"If I lose, I make you dinner, naked. Then I lick your pussy again."

I tilt my head. "What if you win?"

His smile intensifies. "You cook me dinner, naked. Then I lick your pussy again."

I laugh harder. "Deal."

He stares at me another moment, gives me another long kiss, then strokes my cheek. "I'm glad we worked this out." He winks.

"Me too," I confess.

He gives me another quick kiss and then helps me back into my pants. He pulls up his jeans, goes around the truck, and gets in the driver's seat.

I put on my seat belt.

He turns on the engine, puts on the music, and grabs my hand. He kisses it, and everything feels right again, except for one thing.

I do my best to push it away, but I'm in love with Alexander. The problem is I don't know if he'll ever be in love with me or if he'll break my heart into millions of pieces.