Home for Christmas

Chapter 23

Having helped clear the breakfast dishes as best he could, Jude then headed off to shower, and by the time I came down from getting dressed, he’d gone out. He hadn’t given any clue as to where he was going or who he was going with, which was perfectly proper, and I knew I had absolutely no right to be put out by his absence but annoyingly I was.

The only good thing that came from the sudden surge in Jude’s social life was that it put pay to me being tempted to have the in-depth conversation with him that I’d been thinking about at the fair the day before. Baring my feelings, my never-before experienced feelings, to a man who had actually gone off the boil would have been mortifying, especially as I was currently living with him.

Having taken Tink for a long walk around the block and caught up with Mum on the phone while I did so, purposefully avoiding all talk of relationships and focusing instead on how successful the fairs and market stall had so far been, I then made myself a hot chocolate from the depleted station and settled down to look at Holly’s notes.

As I tore open the envelope, I felt a pang of guilt that I hadn’t filled Mum in about Jude’s accident and the fact that he had moved back into the house, or that this time I was sharing the downstairs space with him, but, as was always the way where fairies were concerned, the moment I fell into their winged world, I forgot the rest of the world existed. Even the real reason why I hadn’t further mentioned Jude to Mum was soon forgotten.

It wasn’t until my tummy gave the loudest rumble that I realized how late in the day it was. Ordinarily, Tink would have alerted me to the passing of time, but she was still worn out from a weekend spent socialising and hadn’t moved from her spot in front of the fire. It was currently unlit, but she had a vivid imagination and, as usual, snoozed with her nose practically in the grate, no doubt dreaming of the warming embers and bright, licking flames.

‘Ow,’ I said, wincing as I sat back in the chair and stretched my neck from side to side.

It took a few seconds for the feeling to come back and the blood to start properly circulating again. It was no wonder that the hospital staff had advised Jude to keep on the move. Not that I wanted to be thinking about Jude. The fact that he had been out all day was proof enough that he was capable of thinking for himself and also now well enough to fend for himself, too. Never mind the New Year; at this rate, he might be gone before Christmas.

‘What do you think, Tink?’ I asked loudly as I held up one of the sketches I’d been immersed in creating.

The notes Holly had supplied me with, along with a very basic drawing of her own – she had kept it simple so I could get the gist but not be too guided by her visual idea – had inspired me to create a fairy who I felt would fit the bill perfectly.

I wasn’t sure how easy she would be to translate from paper to reality, but I was going to enjoy the process. And with only the Cherry Tree Café market stall now to keep stocked, along with a stand at the Wynthorpe Hall Winter Wonderland, which I wasn’t responsible for manning, and a steadying trickle of online orders, I’d have time to immerse myself in it, which was no bad thing. A creative distraction was exactly what I needed.

Tink dutifully opened her eyes, then stood, stretched and came to loyally lean against my legs.

‘You approve?’ I asked, and her tail thumped. ‘Come on,’ I said, as a reward for giving me the seal of approval, ‘let’s have another walk, shall we?’

I had an early night, and there was still no sign of Jude when I went to bed. His bedroom door was closed the next morning, but his coat and boots were back, so I guessed he had come home at some point. The sudden distance between us, after the closeness I’d felt at the fair, felt a little strange, but then I could have been making too much of it.

I thankfully didn’t have an excess of time to obsess over it, as I was responsible for setting up and running the market stall that morning. Having fed Tink, I wrapped up in my warmest layers, left Jude a note explaining I’d be back to see to her later and headed off.

‘How are you getting on?’ asked Jemma, not long after I’d finished setting up and had made the first couple of sales of the day.

‘Not bad considering it’s a Tuesday morning and freezing cold to boot. I smiled, rubbing my gloved hands together. ‘I’ve already sold one of Lizzie’s quilted hot-water-bottle covers, so the weather is helpfully playing its part.’

‘She’ll be thrilled,’ Jemma said, smiling back. ‘I’ve made you a coffee,’ she added, handing it over. ‘And I’ve got some extra iced and spiced bagged biscuits for the stall, too.’

‘Thanks, Jemma,’ I said, warming my hands around the insulated cup. ‘I’ll have a bag of biscuits myself. Cold weather always gives me an appetite, and I missed out on the last lot.’

‘I can bring you out a bacon roll, if you like?’ she offered kindly.

I put the cup down and paid for the biscuits, before opening the cellophane bag and releasing the deliciously festive aroma.

‘Thank you, but I’d better not,’ I said to her. ‘I had bacon yesterday. These biscuits will more than keep me going.’

‘ I’ll have a bacon roll if you’re offering,’ said Chris, who ran the fruit and veg stall and had obviously been listening in.

‘Nothing wrong with your hearing, is there, Chris?’ Jemma laughed.

‘He’s not allowed one, Jemma,’ chimed in Steve, Chris’s son, who worked alongside him. ‘He’s been told he’s got to cut a few things out of his diet. Bacon’s one of them.’

Chris looked furious.

‘Good to know,’ said Jemma with a nod. ‘So I take it he shouldn’t have had a bacon roll yesterday, then?’

‘Dad!’ Steve admonished him.

‘You’d better tell me what else he’s not allowed, Steve,’ Jemma said, while I bit my lip to stop myself laughing at Chris’s outraged expression.

‘I’ll give you a list,’ Steve said, and Chris began to darkly mutter.

‘How much is this bunting with the Christmas trees on?’ a customer asked me, and I turned my attention back to what I was there to do.

The next few hours seemed to take an age to pass. Tuesdays weren’t known for being busy, but I was gratefully kept amused for some of the time listening to the banter happening among the sacks of spuds and stalks of sprouts on the stall next door. It was well after midday when Lizzie came out to take over.

‘I’m so sorry I’m so late,’ she apologized. ‘We had a rush on in the café. I didn’t think there were enough people about for it to get busy, but everyone in town seemed to pile in for a while.’

‘I’m not surprised about that,’ I told her, handing over the money belt, ‘it’s bitter out here today, so no wonder everyone wanted to be inside when their bellies started rumbling.’

‘Are you going to grab some lunch?’

‘No,’ I said regretfully, ‘I need to get off home to see to Tink, but first I’ll run you through what I’ve sold this morning.’

I wasn’t going to rely on Jude to let Tink out, which was just as well, because when I got back, there was no sign of him again. He hadn’t repaid the courtesy of leaving me a note, like I had for him, but then he had no real need to, had he?

‘Where are you, Tink?’ I called, as I unravelled my scarf and shrugged off my coat.

I found her curled up on Jude’s bed.

‘Come on,’ I said, ‘you shouldn’t be in here.’

I ushered her out and closed the door, not quite shutting away the smell of Jude’s aftershave.

‘Let’s get some lunch, shall we?’

It was late in the afternoon when I heard the front door open. I’d again become immersed in the fairy sketches and had also put together a mood board and some fabrics that I knew I could easily get lots more of and that I thought would be a great jumping-off point to show Holly. I’d sent her a message asking if she’d be about the next day, and she’d replied saying that she was coming into town so we could meet in the pub.

I more than happily agreed to that because it felt like ages since I’d seen her and Jeanie together. I hadn’t hinted to Holly just how far I’d got with my plans, so I hoped she would be surprised by the amount of work I had to show her.

I cleared everything away while Jude swore in the hall, no doubt struggling to take off his shoes, and then I began getting out everything I would need for an evening of further fairy-making. So much for taking it a bit easier now I allegedly had less to do!

‘Hey, Bella,’ said Jude, when he finally came in.

‘Hey, yourself,’ I responded rather coolly.

It seemed to be taking him an age to get across the room, and when I looked at him, his face was ashen.

‘Are you all right?’ I asked even though I could see he wasn’t.

‘Not really,’ he groaned. ‘I think going out two days in a row has been a bit much.’

‘Well,’ I said, the words escaping before I could stop them, ‘I hope it was worth it.’

‘It was.’ He smiled through the pain as he took a deep breath.

‘Look,’ I said, further losing control of both my mouth and my common sense, ‘I know it’s none of my business…’

‘Go on.’

My head was screaming at me not to do it, but my heart really, really still wanted to know.

‘What’s none of your business, Bella?’ Jude asked.

‘I was just wondering,’ I said, trying to make my tone suggest that I truly didn’t care either way, although it must have been extremely obvious that I did, ‘if you’d been out yesterday and again today with a certain person you kissed at the Brambles party.’

Jude was still making slow progress across the room, but my words stopped him in his tracks entirely.

‘If I was what?’ He frowned, his brow tightly knitted.

‘I know I wasn’t the only one under this roof who had a festive kiss that night, Jude,’ I said, laughing. ‘And I’m not referring to Tink.’

He looked genuinely confused, but I knew what I’d seen. That crazy light-up Christmas jumper he’d borrowed from Angus made him the most identifiable guy in the room. Or in this case, the gazebo.

‘Bella,’ he said, sounding flummoxed, ‘I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t kiss anyone that night. I haven’t kissed anyone since our moment on the drive when we put the lights up—’

‘It’s fine,’ I cut in. ‘You don’t need to make out nothing’s going on. I saw you in the gazebo with someone that night and I just wondered if that’s who you’ve been with today. And yesterday. I’m not bothered if you were,’ I added, no doubt sounding like a total twit.

‘Why ask, then?’ he said crossly.

That was a perfectly reasonable question, and one I didn’t have an answer for. Not one I was prepared to give him, anyway.

‘Not that I was kissing anyone at the party,’ Jude continued. ‘That was solely your thing that night. But why ask this now? Why didn’t you bring it up before?’

I was already wishing I hadn’t brought it up at all.

‘I was being kissed, rather than doing the kissing,’ I reminded him, ‘and I suppose I’m mentioning it now because I’m being nosy. Forget I said anything.’

‘You’re not asking because you might be feeling a bit jealous?’

‘Of course not,’ I snapped back, embarrassed to have been seen through, ‘don’t be so absurd. We’ve already established that we aren’t right for each other, so why would I be jealous? You have a justifiable dislike of my favourite time of the year—’

‘Had,’ Jude automatically corrected me. ‘And you’re only interested in relationships with a three-week shelf life.’

I don’t know where he’d plucked that timescale from. In the past, I would have considered three weeks about a week too long, but that wasn’t the case where Jude was concerned, was it? My feelings for him had opened my heart to the potential of something far longer, but at the end of the day, he was still going to leave Wynbridge at some point. And when he did, I’d most likely be left broken-hearted, so there was absolutely nothing to be gained from telling him that.

‘What’s your point?’ I huffed, wishing I could turn back time and bite my tongue.

‘My point is,’ he said, beginning to sound amused rather than annoyed, ‘that as you’ve experienced my kissing technique first-hand, you might now be feeling jealous that I’m bestowing it upon someone else. Even though I’m not.’

The arrogant sod!

‘I know what I saw,’ I muttered, scooping up the fairy components I’d just started to set out, ‘and believe me, I’m not jealous.’ Liar, liar, pants on fire. ‘Just like me, you’re a free agent. You can kiss and spend time with whoever you like. I just didn’t have you down as that kind of guy, that’s all. I mean, why start something up now, when you’re getting ready to leave town?’

‘I’m not that kind of guy,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘Never have been, never will be, but I haven’t got the energy to try to convince you otherwise. And quite frankly, given that I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since I met you, I don’t see why I should.’

He walked off to his room, looking very much the worse for wear.

‘Well,’ I said to Tink, ‘that went well, didn’t it?’

‘Oh my goodness, Bella!’ Holly gasped, within seconds of me handing over my ideas for our fairy collab, ‘you’ve totally nailed it. This is exactly the kind of aesthetic I was imagining.’

‘Really?’ I said, letting out a long breath.

‘Really,’ she repeated, looking more closely at it all. ‘This is perfect. It’s like you’ve looked inside my head and pulled out exactly the character I was imagining.’

‘Well, thank goodness I’ve got something right this week.’ I swallowed.

It was a huge relief that she was so thrilled with what I’d come up with, because I was in even more need of something to keep me occupied between now and Jude’s still-to-be-determined leaving day. Ordinarily, Christmas would be taking up all of the space in my brain from now until New Year, but this year it was filled with my crazy feelings for a man I was only just really getting to know and my mortification at having potentially screwed things up with him. We hadn’t spoken at all since I’d fluffed asking him the question about the mystery party kiss the day before.

‘What have you got wrong?’ Holly said with a frown, looking concerned, as she realized what I’d just said.

‘What’s all this?’ Jeanie asked, pointing at my sketches as she came to join us.

The pub hadn’t been open long and, aside from a couple of other customers drinking coffee rather than beer, we were the only people in there. Hence Jeanie’s opportunity to take a quick break and join us.

‘It’s a secret,’ said Holly, quickly but carefully putting everything back in the box file I’d transported it in and firmly closing the lid. ‘You’ll find out soon enough.’

Jeanie pouted, and I grinned at her predictable reaction. She hated not being in the know.

‘Bella was just about to tell me about the balls-up she’s made this week,’ Holly went on to distract her, but in the process dropped me in it and banished my smile.

‘What have you done, Bells?’ Jeanie nudged. ‘Slept with that juicy Jude you’ve still got staying under your roof.’

‘No, I have not,’ I said primly.

‘I bet it’s something to do with him, though, isn’t it?’ Holly asked shrewdly. ‘I know you like him more than you’re willing to let on.’

‘I do like him,’ I confessed, ‘but there’s no point, because he’ll be taking off as soon as he’s able.’

‘Which has always made a guy the perfect prospect for you in the past,’ Jeanie nudged again. ‘Unless, of course, you’ve really fallen for him—’

‘No,’ I swiftly interrupted, before she mined my mind too deeply. ‘I have not fallen for him. I’m just not willing to hook up with someone who I know has already got someone else on the go. There are limits, and that’s mine.’

‘Jude hasn’t got anyone else on the go,’ tutted Holly.

‘Not anyone from around here, anyway,’ added Jeanie.

‘That’s where you’re both wrong,’ I said, deciding to tell them what I’d seen and how Jude had denied it. ‘I saw him kissing someone at the Brambles party, and I reckon that’s who he’s been spending so much time with during the last couple of days.’

‘No way!’ said Jeanie, her eyes like saucers.

‘Yep,’ I said, ‘I saw him with my own eyes, and he’s been getting messages on his phone since the accident and then disappearing for hours.’

‘That is pretty damning evidence,’ Holly sighed. ‘What a shame. I really thought the two of you would make a good match.’

‘So who was he kissing?’ Jeanie asked interestedly.

‘No idea,’ I said, shrugging. ‘I wasn’t close enough to the gazebo to see, but it was definitely him.’

‘The gazebo?’ Jeanie squeaked.

‘Yep,’ I said with a nod, ‘and wearing that crazy flashing jumper from Angus, there’s no way he can deny it. Identity definitely and unequivocally confirmed.’

Jeanie looked at Holly, whose mouth had fallen open.

‘What?’ I said, looking between them.

‘Is that jumper the only evidence you’ve got that it was Jude kissing someone in the gazebo?’ Holly asked.

‘Isn’t that enough?’ I laughed.

‘Not really,’ said Jeanie, biting her lip, ‘because Tim turned up late for the party and was wearing exactly the same one.’

It was my turn to look wide-eyed then.

‘He did not,’ I gasped, feeling sick all of a sudden.

‘And we snuck out and made up for the lost time in the gazebo,’ Jeanie devastatingly added. ‘Which was right around the time you disappeared from the party, Bella.’