Home Is Where Your Bark Is

Chapter 18

Night had fallen and, since Jenna’s earlier walk to Jake’s, the temperature had dropped fifteen or twenty degrees. Thankfully the wind had died down, or Jenna’s teeth would be chattering. She pulled her jacket tighter, her footsteps resounding on the concrete sidewalk beneath her. Earlier, she’d chosen a longtime favorite jean jacket for its looks rather than its warmth, and while it had been sufficient on the way here, her insulated puff jacket would’ve been a better choice for the walk home.

As her thoughts circled back to what had played out in Jake’s condo fifteen minutes ago, she did her best not to let the sadness press in, even as it threatened to. She’d rather cling to the memory of Jake’s lips against hers and to the words he’d spoken before the intimacy of the night had collapsed rather than the visual of the raven-haired goddess she’d caught a glimpse of from Jake’s living room window after the two had tromped down the steps and outside to talk.

Jenna had walked over there to stop Seven from growling, not to peer at the unexpected visitor. Of course, someone as good-looking as Jake would want someone as put together as that. Hadn’t this theme played out in Jenna’s life before?

That bulge pressing against you while you were kissing earlier didn’t seem like he was too put off kissing you, did it?

“Are you cold?” Jake asked as he rejoined her. Seven had just hurled himself headfirst into a hedge and sent a handful of birds flying off into the night, and Jenna had walked a few steps ahead.

At Jake’s suggestion, they were taking a string of quieter side streets back to Jenna’s place so they could talk without the road noise pressing in. This first street, Rockwell, a little west of Jake’s place, was new to her, and Jenna eyed the stately houses along it, the many lamps in the windows warm and welcoming. One of her favorite things about Logan Square was the varied architecture of the century-old homes; nothing here looked cookie cutter.

“A little. I’ll warm up as we walk.”

The sidewalk was narrower here, but they were still able to walk alongside each other.

“Want my jacket?”

“So that you freeze?” she said with a laugh.

“I’ve got too much adrenaline flowing through my veins to be cold for quite a while.” Even though Jenna held up a hand in refusal, he tugged off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. His was lined and warm and felt like the warm hug she was craving after the emotional slap of an ex-girlfriend attempting to barge in during a first kiss—or a string of first kisses, to put it more accurately.

“Thanks.”

“Look, Jenna, unless you have any specific questions, I’ll just start talking, and you can stop me whenever you’re inclined.”

He’d apologized for the second time when he’d come inside five minutes later, but the energy in the room had irreparably changed, and Jenna didn’t want whatever he was about to explain to dull her memory of that remarkable kiss or the intimate conversation that had played out just before it. It had been her request to cut the night short. “Yeah, okay.”

Before he even began, one question was at the top of her mind—how long had Jake and his ex-girlfriend been broken up—but Jenna wanted to hear him out first. She slipped her arms into the sleeves of his jacket and pulled her hair out from underneath the collar.

“Given how I asked you to my place and made you dinner, I can see where it might be tempting not to believe me, but the first thing I want you to know is that I didn’t plan on kissing you tonight—or sleeping with you, or anything in between. Not that I’m not interested.” The first easy smile played on his lips since before the interruption. “I’m guessing I made that pretty clear a little while ago, but if I’ve had one steadfast rule since hitting my midtwenties, it’s downtime between relationships to get my head together.”

“Makes sense.”

Jake dragged a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t looking for you, Jenna, but our worlds collided all the same, and I don’t want to pass up this chance to get to know you.”

Jenna smoothed her lips together as she took this in. He was clearly laying down some cards, and as private as she tended to keep them, they matched her own. He hadn’t phrased it as a question, but she found herself agreeing anyway.

The sidewalk was narrow enough that Jake’s arm pressed against hers as they walked. Seven’s leash was in his opposite hand, and for now, the inquisitive dog was trotting just ahead at the far reach of his leash, pausing occasionally to sniff at one thing in the darkness or scent mark on something else.

“I figured you had someone significant in your recent past because you’ve referred to an ex-girlfriend in the singular, and most people in their thirties don’t have only one ex.”

“Yeah, well, that was the timing of it more than anything.”

“How long ago did you break up?”

Jake dropped her gaze. “Not soon enough. I’d been thinking about it off and on the last couple of months. We went to Fiji together at the end of January, and it should’ve been a great time, but I remember this one evening walking along the beach as we took in this incredible sunset. I suddenly just knew with such clarity that I wasn’t supposed to be there sharing it with her.” He shrugged. “Ever since, it was me processing that and being slammed at work and not wanting to deal with it and then getting really irritated with both myself and her that nothing had changed.

“Then Thursday night came, and I hadn’t gotten to it yet. I was headed to meet her at one of these fundraisers she loves going to, and I was angry. Angry at half of what she said. Angry at myself for not breaking up with her earlier. Then the accident happened, and I took Seven rather than meet up with her at the gala. That brush with the potential impermanence of life, seeing the way you were hit… I’ll just say after that, there was no putting it off any longer. Even had I not gotten out and talked to you.”

Seven had stopped in his tracks and was sniffing excitedly at something unseen along the narrow strip of grass between the sidewalk and curb, and Jake and Jenna had turned to face each other on the sidewalk. The streetlight shone on one side of Jake’s face, reflecting in his eyes. Maybe the cold was sinking in or maybe he was a bit on the defensive, but in either case, he’d shoved his hands in his pockets.

Even if he’d already intended to—which judging by his earnest expression, she believed—he’d broken up with his girlfriend after waiting with Jenna in the rain for the ambulance. Even though she wasn’t entirely sure this was a good thing, her heart leaped at the thought. Whatever it was that had occurred between them, she hadn’t been the only one to feel it.

“Turns out,” he added, “she and I were in very different places in the relationship, although what I told her outside tonight stands. I think she has a predetermined goal for how she wants her life to play out, and she was trying to squeeze me into that mold to check off boxes at the right times rather than giving honest thought to whether I was the right person to do those things with. I get she’s still processing the breakup, but I suspect she’s working through anger over being a few rungs further down on her life plan. Like I said, I told her as much outside earlier, but I’m not sure she’s in the space to hear it yet.”

“And what about you?”

“The only thing I regret is not breaking up with her sooner.” He rocked back on his heels and made a face. “Actually, that’s not true. If I had, I wouldn’t have met you. Or Seven.”

Jenna took in a breath as the randomness of this whole thing sank in. Had she refused Stuart’s request, had she seen the driver coming, had Jake listened to his intuition sooner, had he left for his event a handful of seconds sooner or later than he did. How precarious this thing called life was. “Jake, whatever happens, I’m really glad we met, but from what you just shared, something happening between us right now is the opposite of what you’re looking for.”

“I might not have been looking for you, but here you are all the same. I can’t change that. I don’t want to change it.”

“What do you want then?”

Jake brushed his fingertips along one side of her cheek. “I guess you could say that answer depends upon where the blood’s flowing at the moment, but even when it’s all flowing north, I still want you in my life. I want to get to know you.” He paused, shaking his head. “No, I want more than that. But when I don’t check myself, I can move fast, and given how we met just five days ago, I know I’m moving fast. On top of that, I’m asking for your help with this handful of a canine, and that has the potential to complicate things.”

“I offered the help, kind of the same way you offered me this jacket.”

His answering smile melted the heaviness that had been in his gaze. “Yeah, well, you look better in my jacket than I do, so it’s a win-win.”

Jenna fought back a whole-body urge to press her lips against his once more. “Maybe then we save the debatable stuff for later. I think the important thing here is that we keep the lines of communication open and maybe keep brakes on a bit.”

“Yeah, okay. Agreed.” His smile dropped into something more intimate. “But if I seem to forget how to apply them, will you?”

Jenna bit her lip, but the smile slipped out anyway. “I think I can do that.”

“Just to be clear, I won’t be handing out demerits or anything if you forget too,” he said, making her laugh again. Enticed by Seven, who was pulling at the leash in attempt to get walking again, Jake took her hand, and they started down the sidewalk once more. “In all seriousness, thank you. For not holding a grudge about that interruption earlier, or about me not explaining this sooner.”

Seven stopped straining against the leash now that they were making progress again, and Jenna fell quiet for the space of several footsteps before she replied. “I loved someone once who didn’t love me back. Technically, we were never more than good friends, but I still loved him. I don’t know if he knew it or not, but it doesn’t matter. He got swept away by someone else before I worked up the nerve to tell him. It cut me to the quick.”

“I can imagine it would.”

“Yeah, well, even though it took me awhile to get there, I’m thankful for the experience now—for several reasons, and the biggest one is for me. I think that was a life experience I needed to have, to love someone and not be loved back. I wouldn’t have wanted him to be with me because of my feelings for him. If it isn’t mutual, there’s nothing there. Not really. Hopefully Alyssa will be faster to see this than I was.”

“Thank you for putting it like that. I needed to hear it, and I hope so. She’s a good person—just meant to be with someone else.”

The last of Jenna’s insecurities about Jake being over his ex-girlfriend drained away. “Since we’re pulling out our skeletons tonight, you might as well know I didn’t get as clean of an exit from the guy I was telling you about as I’d have liked. It made getting a clean slate a little more of a challenge.”

Meeting her gaze, Jake raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“For the last four and a half years, he’s been my brother-in-law.”

Jake’s brows nearly disappeared into hairline. “You’re telling me the person he met was your sister?”

“He was my study partner in med school. We went out with a bunch of people one night to celebrate the end of exams. Half the group was so exhausted that one drink knocked ’em out, and the group thinned out pretty fast. I’d just ordered a second drink because I wanted to get tipsy enough to tell him how I felt. I figured if he didn’t feel the same way, I’d have the Christmas break to lick my wounds. Then my sister showed up because of a gigantic fail of a first date, and she needed to vent.” Jenna shrugged. “And that’s all she wrote. A few hours later, she was going home with the guy I’d been trying for the better part of a month to tell that I loved him.”

Jake shook his head, wincing. “Oh, Jenna, that sucks. Please don’t tell me she knew?”

“I think at one point I thought she should’ve, but no, I hadn’t told her. It came out later. They were on again, off again for a couple of years, and they got married while he was in residency. She was pregnant with my darling nephew, and honestly, they’re just about opposite enough to make sense.” She nudged him in the arm. “In case you’re wondering, their relationship wasn’t why I quit med school. If anything, I stayed in that full second year because I wanted to be certain of my motivations for walking away. I did expand my study partners though,” she added with a laugh.

“I hadn’t gotten past the part about your sister marrying a guy you’d been in love with, but I’m glad that’s the case.”

Jenna shrugged. “Like I said, when it’s not a good fit for both, then it’s not a good fit.”

“No wonder you’ve been so levelheaded about Alyssa showing up like that.”

“Quite possibly.”

Hands still locked and fingers laced together, Jake tapped the back of her hand lightly against the side of his jeans. “So, what happens now?”

Jenna shrugged. “Hmm. The way I see it, you walk me home but don’t come inside. This week, you hang out in the yard with Seven as much as you want. I’ll be off, so that’ll be nice. Then Friday I can babysit Seven part or all of the day as needed while you’re in court, and maybe this weekend we got out to dinner or something, keeping the conversation going and the brakes applied as we get to know each other better, and you get the distance you need from your breakup. How’s that sound?”

Seven had stopped to sniff the various toy fairies and accompanying knickknacks some children had set up along the thick roots at the base of an old tree, and Jake and Jenna were facing each other again.

“I like it.” Jake’s crooked smile pulled up the side of his cheek with the dimple. His gaze dropped from her eyes to lips, and Jenna had a hunch what he was going to ask just before he said it. “You didn’t say anything about kissing though. Where does that fall on the spectrum of getting to know one another while still applying brakes?”

Jenna shook her head adamantly. “Sorry, but seeing as how I’ve already had a taste of how incredible that is, I don’t think I can be trusted to answer that without considerable bias.”

Jake’s smile widened. “Same. How about we vote on it then? Yes to kissing now, and copiously at that. No to waiting a few weeks and letting the tension build.”

“Hmm, that’s a hard one, Mr. Stiles. Perhaps you could offer me a quick reminder before I make my decision?”

Even before Jake leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, Jenna knew what her answer was going to be.