Hope Blooms in Tuppenny Bridge (Tuppenny Bridge #5)

Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

Noah barely spoke on the bus ride back to Starfish Sands, and somehow, they both seemed to accept that their day out was over, as he led her straight to the car park rather than back to the beach.

The journey home was awkward and almost silent. Noah didn’t even put the radio on, and Daisy wondered if she should say something or keep quiet. She didn’t want to embarrass him, but she couldn’t just pretend it had never happened.

They were almost back in Tuppenny Bridge when Noah finally spoke. ‘I understand you must have a lot of questions.’

‘I do,’ she admitted. ‘The thing is, are you willing to answer them?’

He didn’t reply for what felt like ages. ‘I’m sorry I ruined the day,’ he said at last.

Daisy turned to him, aghast. ‘You didn’t! Not at all. I had a lovely time, and the way it ended wasn’t your fault.’

‘If I hadn’t been so stupid!’

‘Stupid?’ Daisy stared at him. ‘You’re seriously calling yourself stupid for flinching like that?’

He didn’t reply, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead.

‘Your shoulder,’ she said sadly. ‘It’s not a trapped nerve, is it?’

‘Daisy…’

‘I don’t want to push you. God, that’s the last thing I want to do, believe me. But you have to understand how worried I am about you. I’ve been there, Noah. Where you are. I’ve been through it.’

Now he did glance at her, concern in his eyes. ‘What? When?’

‘When I was growing up,’ she said miserably. ‘My dad. He wasn’t just verbally abusive.’

‘Oh, my God, Daisy. I’m so sorry!’ His hands clenched the steering wheel. ‘It makes me feel sick. How could he treat you that way?’

‘And that’s how I feel about you,’ she explained. ‘How you’ve just reacted to what I said, well, that’s how I’m reacting to the way you behaved earlier. I can’t just pretend it never happened, Noah. Someone’s hurting you, aren’t they?’

He didn’t reply and she took a steadying breath.

‘It’s Isobel, isn’t it?’

She thought he was going to ignore her, but after a few moments he said in a resigned tone, ‘Yes.’

‘How long has this been happening?’ she asked tearfully.

‘I can’t talk about it here,’ he said.

‘But I can’t just forget?—’

‘It’s okay. I get it. But not while I’m driving.’ He glanced at the clock on the dashboard. ‘Aunt Eugenie’s having afternoon tea with Zach and Ava at the vicarage. Are you up for a quick stop at Lavender House?’

She nodded and Noah took a different route into Tuppenny Bridge, entering the town from the northern end where Lavender House stood not far from the border.

They swept up the drive and parked in the car park, then Noah hurriedly led her, not to the main front door of the museum, but to a side gate. He produced a bunch of keys from his pocket and unlocked the gate, glancing around him and ushering her in. Daisy was surprised to find herself in a large, walled garden which was clearly private and off limits to the visitors to the museum. To the left were two sets of French doors, and Noah unlocked one of them, which immediately set off an excited Boycott and Trueman who’d been lurking inside.

‘Aunt Eugenie?’ he called.

There was no response, other than increased yapping from the Yorkshire terriers, and Noah nodded at Daisy.

‘It’s safe. Come in.’

Feeling like an intruder, Daisy followed him into what was clearly Miss Lavender’s living room. It was larger than she’d have imagined, if she’d given much thought to it, but just as chintzy as she would have expected.

Noah let the dogs fuss over them both then looked sheepishly at Daisy. ‘Do you want anything? Tea? Coffee?’

She shook her head. ‘Just answers really. If you feel ready to give them.’

He hesitated, then nodded. ‘Come with me.’

He led her out of the room, leaving a disappointed Boycott and Trueman behind, and down a corridor to a bedroom.

‘This used to be my room,’ he told her, gazing around at it, a wry smile on his face. ‘The Power Rangers posters have gone now, though, thank goodness,’ he added with a wink.

She smiled, noting the single bed, wardrobe, desk and chair, bookcase, and chest of drawers. It was neat and tidy and just what she’d have imagined Noah’s childhood room to be like. ‘Has it changed much?’

‘Hardly at all,’ he admitted. ‘Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I’ve thought about how easy it would be to just pack up and move back in here. It’s like it’s waiting for me.’

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, sensing that he needed to talk this out in his own time, without her urging him on.

‘Do you mind?’ She indicated the bed and he nodded.

‘Please, sit down.’

They both sat together on the bed and Daisy glanced nervously at the door. ‘Are you sure your aunt won’t be back any time soon?’

‘She’ll stay all afternoon at the vicarage,’ he reassured her. ‘They’ll be going over the fundraising events at the sheep fair and making final plans.’

‘Good job,’ she said. ‘I don’t think she’d be best pleased to find me here, do you?’

He sighed. ‘You heard then?’

‘That she called you round to warn you off me? Yes. Rita Pennyfeather filled me in.’

He half laughed. ‘That’s rich, considering it was Rita who tipped Aunt Eugenie off in the first place.’

‘I know, but she did apologise. Her heart’s in the right place, but she admitted she can’t resist a bit of gossip.’ Daisy hesitated. ‘Was she—was she very angry? Your aunt I mean.’

‘She wanted to impress upon me that I made my vows, and that it’s my duty to make my marriage work,’ he said. ‘She thinks it best that you and I have no contact with each other. I should stop frequenting The Crafty Cook Café and go to Market Café instead.’

‘Oh no!’

‘Yes! And can you imagine them serving up white chocolate and caramel cake in that place?’

He’d tried to make a joke of it, but she could hear the despair in his voice.

‘Yet you still took me to Starfish Sands,’ she reminded him.

‘I did.’ He gazed at the carpet for a long moment then turned to her. ‘I can’t give you up, Daisy. You’re far too important to me.’

She hardly knew how to respond to that. Was he saying what she hoped he was saying? Or did he simply mean as a friend?

‘You’re—you’re very important to me, too,’ she said. ‘But, Noah, you have to understand how worried I am about you.’

‘I know. I get it, I really do.’

‘Does anyone else know about this? Your aunt? No, I’m guessing not, or surely she wouldn’t want you to stay in that relationship. Ross then? Have you told Ross?’

‘I haven’t told anyone,’ he confessed. ‘You’re the first person.’

‘But why not?’

‘How many people did you tell about your father beating you?’ he asked her gently.

Daisy bit her lip, understanding. ‘No one,’ she said at last. ‘But even so, I was a kid back then. I just thought it was normal. You’re an intelligent, educated adult. You must realise this isn’t acceptable behaviour?’

‘Who would I tell? What would I say?’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘I can just imagine it, can’t you? A grown man getting beaten up by his wife? What are you, a man or a mouse? What kind of weakling lets his wife hit him? ’

‘Have you never fought back?’ she asked, tears stinging her eyes.

‘Of course not! I—sometimes I try to stop her, when it gets really frightening. I try to prevent her from lashing out by holding her wrists. But it doesn’t help really. It seems to make her even angrier and more violent. Besides…’

She waited until he composed himself again.

‘She—she threatened to tell people I was hurting her,’ he said, his eyes troubled. ‘There were bruises, you see, from where I’d restrained her, and she said she’d tell everyone I was hitting her.’

‘Someone told me she’d broken her fingers last year,’ Daisy said carefully. ‘Is that true?’

‘ Someone told you ?’ He frowned. ‘Are they talking about my marriage then?’

She didn’t want to upset him any more than he clearly already was, but she wasn’t about to lie to him either.

‘Yes,’ she admitted reluctantly. ‘Isobel came into the café recently wearing sunglasses, which made people wonder, and then we noticed bruises on her wrists and up her arm. Some people put two and two together and made five.’

‘And you?’ he asked anxiously. ‘What did you think?’

‘That you’d never hurt her,’ she said immediately. ‘Never any question in my mind.’

‘Thank you, Daisy.’ He rubbed his forehead. ‘She did break her finger last year. She broke it, not me, and she did it by hitting me. They call it a boxer’s fracture, actually. It’s a break in the fifth metacarpal, the little finger. It had to be strapped up and it made her work at the florist’s really difficult for her, which made her even more furious with me. Her knuckle still looks a bit weird, to be honest.’

‘She’s very clever, though, Noah,’ Daisy burst out. ‘Kat and Sally said she seemed wary of you after it happened. At Leon’s burial place, they said you tried to put your arm around her, and that she moved away from you. And in the café, she was very careful not to accuse you of anything, but her whole attitude was one of fear. She was acting like the downtrodden wife who’s afraid of her husband but won’t speak out against him.’

Noah’s face was pale. ‘So, she’s carrying out her threat,’ he murmured. ‘And Kat and Sally believe her?’

‘I thought they did,’ Daisy admitted, ‘but Rita told me they don’t really. Everyone knows what Isobel’s like, and they know you. It’s just—it’s hard, isn’t it? No one wants to dismiss it out of hand in case they’re wrong. Kat and Sally have been trying to befriend Isobel so she knows she can turn to them if she needs to, just in case. Not that they’re having much luck,’ she added, trying to keep the disgust from her voice. ‘Isobel’s hardly the friendliest person, is she?’

‘Who else thinks I might be hurting her?’ he asked sadly. ‘Jonah?’

‘I doubt it,’ she said, wishing she’d not started this line of conversation. ‘Anyone who really knows you both wouldn’t believe it of you, would they?’

‘Has Ross heard about this?’

‘I honestly don’t know. But I do know Rita definitely doesn’t believe it. She doesn’t trust Isobel at all, and she’s got a very high opinion of you. I expect Birdie feels the same.’

‘Have they mentioned this to my aunt?’

‘I wouldn’t have thought so, because she’d have surely confronted you about it, wouldn’t she? Miss Lavender’s never struck me as someone who’s afraid to speak her mind,’ she said.

‘No. Perhaps not.’ He slumped, clearly stunned that all this had been going on behind his back. ‘Can you imagine if some of the parents heard about this? Or the staff. My job! My God, I could lose everything! Why would she do that to me?’

‘Why would she do any of this to you?’ Daisy asked, taking his hand. ‘Noah, I don’t want to push you, but how bad is it? What’s really going on?’

Noah didn’t seem able to focus on what she was saying at first, his mind clearly too preoccupied with the information she’d already given him, and his fears about his job and reputation. Then, gradually, it seemed to dawn on him what she was asking.

He released her hand and, slowly and hesitantly, removed his shirt.

Daisy had been expecting signs of injury, but nothing prepared her for the shock of what she was now looking at. Noah’s back was a mass of huge, purple and black bruises, some of them turning yellow or green at the edges, stretching from just above his waist, covering his ribs and heading up to the shoulder. No wonder he’d been so slow and stiff walking down that hill today.

She tried to be stoic but failed dismally. Tears rained down her cheeks—tears borne not just of sadness for him, but of anger and frustration, too. He’d been suffering like this for who knew how long, and that woman had been creeping around like she was the injured party.

‘I want to kill her,’ she said honestly, her voice cracking with emotion. ‘Oh, Noah!’

She put her arms gently around him and held him, ashamed that it was he who was having to soothe and comfort her . He stroked her hair as she sobbed.

‘It’s okay, it’s fine. I’m all right, honestly.’

‘It’s not okay,’ she said, her voice muffled against his bare chest. ‘It’s very, very far from okay.’

She finally raised her face to his, barely able to see him through her tears. ‘Please, please, promise me you’ll walk away. You can’t put up with this! No one should have to! Noah, she’s insane. She could kill you!’

‘I’ve thought that myself a few times,’ he admitted. He dug out a handkerchief from his trouser pocket and handed it to her. ‘Here,’ he said, smiling, ‘your mascara’s run.’

‘Oh, bloody hell. Who cares?’ She wiped her eyes and nose and stared up at him. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘I honestly don’t know,’ he said. ‘I can’t think straight anymore.’

He put his arm around her, and they sat together for a few minutes, his cheek resting on her head, each lost in their own thoughts.

‘It started about six months after we got married,’ he said suddenly.

Daisy didn’t speak, not wanting to interrupt him, but her heart sank at the realisation that he’d been suffering this abuse for at least a decade.

‘We’d been out to dinner with a colleague of mine and her husband. It was a pleasant evening. I honestly thought we’d all got on really well and was thinking we should invite this couple round to our house in return. When we got home, though, I realised Isobel had been putting on an act. She turned on me the minute the door closed, accusing me of flirting with my colleague and insisting I’d done it deliberately to humiliate her.’

A fresh tear rolled down Daisy’s cheek as she listened to him speaking, his voice sounding odd and strangely emotionless. She supposed he was being very careful to keep his feelings under control. He might not be able to finish speaking otherwise.

‘It was just a few slaps that night,’ he remembered. ‘And, of course, in the morning she was deeply sorry. Couldn’t apologise enough and promised it would never happen again. Needless to say, she didn’t keep that promise.’ He reached for his shirt. ‘I’d better put this back on. What would Aunt Eugenie say if she caught us in my old bedroom, and me half naked!’

He managed a smile, and Daisy helped him back into his shirt, even doing up his buttons although he assured her he could manage perfectly well.

‘Go on,’ she said, when he’d finally tucked his shirt back into his trousers and had sat down on the bed again. ‘If you’re able to.’

He nodded. ‘Now I’ve started I just want to tell you everything. Get it over and done with. I can’t remember all the rows, obviously. They all blur into one in the end. I do remember, though, funnily enough, the first time she didn’t apologise the next day. We’d been out for our second anniversary, and she’d taken exception to the attitude of one of the waiters at the restaurant. When we got home, she accused me of not standing up to him. Of not, as she put it, defending her. I honestly didn’t see what there was to defend her from. He wasn’t the best waiter in the world, but he wasn’t particularly rude to Isobel. Anyway, she decided I’d let her down and accused me of being a complete wimp and—well, to cut a long story short—she lost her temper and lashed out. The next morning, she didn’t mention it. It was as if nothing had happened. Usually, she’d be in floods of tears and couldn’t tell me enough how sorry she was, but this time it was completely different. Like she didn’t care. And it’s been that way ever since.’

‘So, what kicked it off this time? Clearly there was a reason.’

Noah shook his head. ‘Something and nothing.’

She narrowed her eyes, unconvinced. ‘What aren’t you telling me? Oh, God! This wasn’t about me, was it? Please tell me this wasn’t my fault.’

‘No, no honestly.’ Noah put his hand on her shoulder, trying to reassure her. ‘If you must know, it was something I did years ago.’

‘Years ago? She did this because of something that happened years ago?’ Daisy was trembling with anger but fought to stay calm. The last thing he needed was to see another woman losing her temper.

‘Kat’s pram,’ he said at last. ‘It was Isobel who damaged it and threw it in the river.’

Daisy’s mouth fell open. She genuinely didn’t know what to say to that.

Noah obviously realised that as he said, ‘I know. It’s a lot to take in. It was a shock to me, too, when I figured it out. I kept telling myself I must be wrong, but there was something about her that day when we were all outside the shop. I sensed something but I didn’t want to believe it.’

‘I don’t understand. Why would Isobel attack Kat’s pram that way? What’s Kat ever done to her?’

With obvious reluctance, Noah said, ‘She found out that it was me who bought the pram.’

A thousand thoughts ran through Daisy’s mind at that moment as she tried to make sense of his confession.

‘O-kay.’

‘I’m not Hattie’s father,’ he said quickly.

‘Obviously.’

He stared at her. ‘What do you mean, obviously?’

Daisy shrugged. ‘Well, if you were, we’d all know it by now, one way or the other. You just couldn’t hide it, could you? If you had a child somewhere in the world, you’d have to be its father. You wouldn’t be able to help yourself, whatever it cost you.’

He seemed lost for words, so she continued.

‘Which means there was another reason you bought it for Kat. I’m guessing you knew she was struggling for money at the time, and prams are expensive. You, Kat, and Leon were good friends back in the day, and Kat was Leon’s girlfriend, so you must have seen what she went through after he died. Knowing Leon couldn’t be there for her, you stepped in and did what he couldn’t. That sounds the most likely explanation to me.’

Noah swallowed and gripped her hand. ‘That’s more or less it,’ he said slowly. ‘Isobel, however, didn’t see it that way. Unlike you, she immediately assumed Hattie was mine and that Kat and I had been lying to her all this time. It didn’t matter what I said, she wouldn’t listen. She completely lost it.’

That much was obvious.

‘Those bruises…’ Daisy wasn’t sure how to put it, but it was bothering her too much to ignore. ‘You didn’t get those from her slapping you.’

‘No,’ he said heavily. ‘It was mainly a p-pan this time. There have been various weapons of choice.’

‘Then why stay?’

She really hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but she couldn’t help it. She felt so angry at Isobel and so very afraid for Noah. The way he’d casually mentioned weapons terrified the life out of her. What if, one day, it was a lethal weapon? What if, one day, Noah didn’t get up from the floor? It didn’t bear thinking about.

‘Isobel’s v-vulnerable,’ Noah said, seeming not to recognise the irony of his words.

Daisy gave a bitter laugh. ‘Vulnerable? She’s a bloody monster!’

‘She’s not. Not really. She’s not had an easy time of it.’

‘And you have?’

‘Her family life wasn’t good,’ he insisted. ‘Her mother and father divorced when she was very young, and like I said, they used her as a weapon against each other after that. They would try to buy her affection and she had everything she could want materially, but she was sent off to St Egbert’s away from her friends, and she’d be shuttled between her mother’s place, her father’s house, or other relatives’ homes in the holidays, depending on who had time for her. It left her feeling very insecure.’

‘Noah,’ Daisy said earnestly, ‘have you heard yourself? What did you just tell me this morning about your childhood? You were abandoned by your mum and dad and raised by your great aunt. And you went to St Egbert’s too! Your mum didn’t even contact you after your mid-teens. Did that strike you as an excuse to lash out at anyone? Why are you giving Isobel all these excuses then? Lots of people have bad childhoods, but it doesn’t mean they have to turn into abusers.’

‘I owe her,’ he said stubbornly.

‘You owe her? For what?’ Daisy couldn’t believe it. No matter how she tried to see things from Noah’s point of view, she simply couldn’t understand why he owed her a thing. He’d already put up with far, far more than he should have.

‘You don’t understand. You d-don’t know everything.’

‘Then tell me,’ she said desperately. ‘Help me understand!’

‘I—I can’t.’ He swallowed. ‘I’m sorry. You’ll just have to trust me when I say Isobel needs me. If I left her she’d be devastated. She has huge abandonment issues, and most of this anger is born out of fear and pain. I can’t just leave her to it.’

‘You might have to,’ Daisy said. ‘You’re putting yourself at risk by staying, don’t you see that?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Noah, there’s no maybe about it. You must walk away from this relationship. It’s dangerous!’

When he didn’t reply she said heavily, ‘So if you won’t leave her, where does that leave us? If you’re so intent on clinging to this marriage, despite everything that’s going on, what happens to me and you? What do you want from me?’

‘I just…’ He turned desperate eyes on her. ‘I can’t explain. I know this isn’t fair, and I want to be with you, Daisy, I really do. I don’t love Isobel, you have to believe me. But I can’t just walk away and leave her.’

A nausea grew in the pit of Daisy’s stomach. She remembered another time, many years ago, when she’d urged another married man to wake up and walk away from his marriage, to no avail.

Yes, she’d been in love with Eliot, but she hadn’t just wanted him to leave for her sake. She’d been seriously worried about his state of mind, knowing how badly his wife was treating him. There’d been no physical violence in the Harlands’ marriage, but Jemima Harland had tormented Eliot, lying to him and cheating on him, and ultimately betraying him in unimaginable ways.

No matter how much Daisy had begged him to walk away, he’d refused. There had been children involved, of course. Young children. Even so, Daisy was to this day of the opinion that things would have been better all round if Eliot had listened to her. As it was, the marriage had ended in tragedy, and it had taken Eliot a long, long time to come to terms with that.

Now here was another man caught in a loveless, abusive marriage, refusing to listen to her, to see sense.

How long was she supposed to stand by and let Noah put himself at risk? How long was she supposed to stand on the sidelines, being patient, hoping that one day he would see the mistake he was making and walk out on Isobel?

‘You’re right,’ she said brokenly. ‘It isn’t fair. How can you expect me to stand by and say nothing, knowing your life could be at risk?’

‘I know,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s a lot to ask.’

‘Then you shouldn’t ask it of me! Noah, do you want to be with me or not?’

‘Of course I do!’

‘Then will you leave Isobel? If not for yourself, then for me?’

His eyes begged her to understand but she didn’t. All she knew was that she’d seen another man she loved suffer and it had nearly killed her to watch. She couldn’t go through all that again.

‘I’d better go before Miss Lavender arrives home,’ she said, getting to her feet.

‘But—I’ll drive you,’ he said, but she shook her head.

‘Honestly, the walk will do me good. I need to clear my head.’

He bowed his head. ‘I understand.’

‘No, Noah, I don’t think you do,’ she told him. She planted a kiss on the top of his head. ‘The truth is, I can’t bear to watch this happening knowing you’re doing nothing to escape it. It’s not fair of you to expect me to. You’re breaking my bloody heart! Can’t you see that?’

‘Daisy, I’m so sorry.’

‘Oh, you stupid man,’ she said, tears rolling down her face. ‘Don’t you get it? I love you! I can’t watch this. I just can’t.’

She briefly registered the look of shock in his eyes before she turned and ran. She needed to get out of here because she felt as if she were suffocating. Every part of her wanted to find Isobel Lavender and strike out at her. She wanted to punch her and punch her and keep punching her until that woman understood what it felt like to be Noah.

All the way home she seethed, imagining all the brutal ways she would attack her nemesis, shocking herself with how violent some of her thoughts had become. As she neared Market Square, though, her anger died to be replaced by sadness and overwhelming grief at the pain Noah was in, his stubborn refusal to walk away, and the futility of it all.

Just what did she do now?