Hope Blooms in Tuppenny Bridge (Tuppenny Bridge #5)

Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

8 OCTOBER

Zach ended the reading from Ecclesiastes and asked that his parishioners join him in singing one of Leon’s favourite hymns. There was the sound of shuffling, and a few people cleared their throats as the organist struck the first notes of ‘Amazing Grace’.

Amazing Grace.

Hadn’t he lectured Noah only weeks earlier about grace? He remembered the conversation so clearly:

‘I have to believe in the grace of God, or what’s the point?’

‘Even—even sins that are against another person? Even if you’ve hurt another person?’

‘It doesn’t matter what the sin is. The same applies. Christ has paid for our sins already.’

Oh, Noah. If I’d only known what you were trying to tell me …

But, of course, he hadn’t known, and he knew deep down that he couldn’t blame himself for not being psychic. It was ironic really, he thought. There was so much about the events of that night, fifteen years ago, that he did know. Noah’s had been the missing bit of the puzzle. When he considered the matter, he supposed that he knew more about it than anyone else alive.

He gazed at his congregation as they sang, his heart filled with love and compassion for them all. They’d been through so much and had suffered deeply. He was glad that some of them had found it in their hearts to confide in him. Honoured that they had done so.

He thought about the inscription on Joseph’s headstone. A quotation from the New Testament. Matthew 11:28

Come unto me all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest .

They had come to Zach, perhaps as some intermediary, and unburdened themselves to him one by one—some eagerly, others hesitantly, some weeping, some reluctantly as if afraid of betraying another’s trust.

He had listened and counselled and hoped that he had given them rest. Peace of mind. He’d never have believed that fifteen years on, he would be doing the same again for the same reason.

Noah had seemed to find comfort by finally telling him about the row he’d had with Leon that night. As Zach had listened, so many things had started to make sense.

So, it had been Isobel that Leon was having an affair with. He’d assumed it was someone at the brewery, and thought Kat probably had, too. Noah’s guilt over Isobel’s loss was palpable. He felt responsible for Leon’s death, and responsible for Isobel’s grief. He’d tried to make it up to her ever since, and he’d paid the price for doing so.

And, of course, it made sense that he’d bought Kat the pram when she was expecting Hattie. He’d felt terrible for her, knowing that she’d been cheated on by the man she loved, and aware of her grief at his loss. When Kat finally seemed to have found happiness, Noah wanted to help her. The pram was the least he could do. And, although Noah hadn’t said so, Zach was fairly certain that it was Isobel who’d damaged the pram, once she’d found out Noah had bought it. Noah had admitted to him that Isobel was deeply suspicious of other women and had constantly accused him of being unfaithful, even though, until Daisy, he’d never considered cheating on her.

Projection, Zach thought. Good people believe the best in others. Those with darkness in their hearts believe the worst.

Of course, Noah had no idea that Kat had discovered the truth about Leon’s infidelity, nor that she’d been left with far more than heartbreak when he died.

He’d found that out when the Pennyfeather sisters came to him a few weeks after the funeral. Looking back on it, he knew that Rita and Birdie had been nothing like their actual jolly selves back then. They’d been heartbroken.

‘Kat’s gone to stay with her father,’ Birdie had told him. ‘She doesn’t even really get on with him, but she had to get away. Do you know, Zach—may I call you Zach? Do you know, things weren’t as they should be between her and Leon? Kat told us the day after he died. We found her sobbing her heart out in the garden, and we tried to comfort her by telling her how much Leon had loved her and what a wonderful couple they were, and she turned on us, didn’t she, Rita?’

Rita nodded. ‘She did. We thought it was grief, but then she told us that she and Leon had fought that night before he died because…’ She’d hesitated, glancing at Birdie, who’d given her a reassuring nod. ‘Because she’d found out he was carrying on with some other girl.’

It had come as a surprise to Zach. Like everyone else, he’d assumed Leon and Kat were madly in love. It seemed their relationship had been one-sided, at least in recent times.

‘Poor Kat,’ he’d murmured. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’

‘The last time she ever saw him alive,’ Birdie said, wiping away tears, ‘she was rowing with him, in your churchyard of all places, Zach. That very night he drove off to collect Ben and—well, you know what happened next.’

‘It’s very sad,’ Zach said, shaking his head.

‘It’s more than that, though,’ Rita said. ‘Kat thinks we don’t know. She thinks we haven’t worked it out, but we’re not daft. We might be old, but we can read a calendar. We just don’t know what to do, that’s the truth. Do we tell her we’ve figured it out or do we let her believe we don’t know?’

‘Know what?’ Zach had asked, thoroughly confused.

‘You will keep this to yourself, vicar?’

‘Of course. You have my word,’ he’d promised.

Rita and Birdie had looked at each other. ‘Kat’s expecting,’ Birdie said at last. ‘She’s having Leon’s baby, and she hasn’t told us. Instead, she’s cleared off to Dorset to stay with her dad, and we can guess that means she won’t be bringing the baby home with her. If she ever comes home that is.’

She’d stifled a sob. ‘We can’t help her if she won’t tell us, can we? And we don’t want to push her so we can’t say anything. But our heart breaks for her, Zach. And the thing is, I feel for Jennifer, I really do. But I find myself hating Leon Callaghan, despite what happened to him, and I feel terrible for that, because when all’s said and done, he was just a young lad with his whole future ahead of him.’

‘Do you think we’ll ever stop hating him?’ Rita asked brokenly. ‘And do you think Kat will ever heal?’

Zach had given them what comfort and reassurance he could, but his mind had been whirling. Because Rita’s and Birdie’s revelation about Kat had been just the latest in a long line since Leon’s funeral.

Eugenie Lavender, distraught with worry about Ross and the heavy burden he was carrying, since calling the police on Ben and thereby unwittingly ensuring that Leon would head out in his car that night.

Jennifer, almost on the point of hysterical collapse, as she confessed where she’d been on the night Leon had died. Adamant that this was a punishment on her and begging him to help her find a way to forgive herself and live with what she believed she’d done.

Only last year, Zach had learned from Rafferty that Ben had been carrying the guilt of his brother’s death all these years, because it had been him who Leon had driven to collect that night.

All this pain. He wished he could gather them all together and tell them how each one of them was feeling, and of how much grief and guilt they’d each been carrying all these years. But of course, he couldn’t do that. What he’d been told, he’d been told in confidence.

Maybe, he thought hopefully, after today we can all draw a line under this tragedy and finally start to move on. No one in this church deserved to carry the pain any longer. They never had. They were good people, kind people. He was so happy to be part of the community at Tuppenny Bridge.

His gaze fell on Ava and his heart lurched. So happy and so lucky.

He saw Kat and Jonah singing, watched as they glanced at each other and smiled. Leon’s girlfriend and best friend had moved on and built a new life for themselves. Next month, they would be welcoming a baby boy into their family. He looked forward to meeting this precious child.

Ben and Summer newly engaged. Ben had turned out a fine young man. Leon, he knew, would be proud of him. One day in the not-too-distant future, maybe Zach would marry them. Another happy ending.

Clive and Bethany, putting their guilt and sadness behind them. Finding their own family and a new start at Whispering Willows.

Jennifer. Zach watched her now, singing ‘Amazing Grace’, hymn sheet in hand, her eyes fixed on the stained-glass window behind him. He wondered what she was thinking. It had been a long fifteen years for Jennifer, but now she was stronger, with a new job and a new home. She’d remembered how to smile, and he couldn’t be happier for her.

His gaze went to Eugenie and Ross Lavender, sitting side by side, their faces etched with worry and sadness.

He hoped, with all his heart, that they would forgive themselves and move on, because Noah would need their support, not their guilt.

He found Daisy standing at the back of the church. Her mouth was moving but he wasn’t convinced she was actually singing. She looked miles away. No doubt she was mulling over the events of the last few days and wondering what would happen next. He was so glad she would be by Noah’s side. In his opinion, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He blinked and realised they were singing the last line of the hymn.

Was blind, but now I see.

As the last note of the organ died away Zach took a steadying breath and returned to the lectern. Time to reflect on Leon’s life. To talk about the person he was.

He gazed down at the photograph of this young man. A flawed man. An imperfect man. Not the paragon of virtue too many people had built him up to be in their minds, but human, like all of them. A good person who made mistakes. A young person with so much unfulfilled potential. So much life unused.

They would remember him today as a beloved son, brother, best friend, and neighbour. They would honour his memory and say goodbye to him with love.

And then, God willing, they would face the new day with hope and peace in their hearts.