Hot For Her Ex-Con (Dark Desires #7)

5. Killian

CHAPTER 5

Killian

I meant what I said about liars, and I’ll never tell Allison a lie. Not even if it’s a truth she can’t understand.

But if she knows how it feels?

To have the face of someone you hate front and center of your mind for eight years, every second of the day. And that the only thing that keeps you going is knowing that soon, one day real soon, you’ll finally be able to make all of it stop.

I guess that’s what I should be explaining, but I figure the fewer details she knows, the safer she’ll be.

That and I’ve never been much of a conversationalist.

“Once I’m done,” I tell her, “we can grab a bite to eat if you want? It shouldn’t be too late.”

She disappoints me a little with her reaction, but I guess it’s to be expected. If I don’t tell her, I’m a dishonest man. If I do tell her, which I have, I’m kinda putting a wet blanket over what I know is going to be one very special night for both of us.

“What do you mean kill someone? Are you kidding me?”

I’m already giving her my best not-kidding face.

The last of the freight train carriages rattle past, and I turn myself in my seat to face her better. She looks more confused than scared, though. The last thing I want is to frighten her.

“Killian. There was no guy, remember? I was covering for you with Mom because…”

I feel my eyes narrow, shooting her an intense stare, wanting to hear her say it. To tell me how it made her feel to see me worshiping those panties of hers. Priming myself for the real thing.

The thing between us… we’d be fools to ignore a second longer.

“I mean, whatever you were doing in my room… Did you break the door down? Don’t you have a key?” She’s hyperventilating, but it’s not fear or anxiety taking her over. It’s something else.

“Kiss me again.” My command shocks her, and she makes every effort to get mad. Losing her grip on her true feelings, her real need taking over, but not without a little more fight from her conscience.

“Look, mister. I don't know who the fuck you think?—”

In a second, her mouth’s over mine. She’s kissing me all right, like a good girl. It’s a violent, angry kiss. A kiss born of her frustration, and with a final little growl of annoyance from her, her hands batting against my chest.

I kiss her back, knowing it’ll explain everything.

She’s cute when she’s mad, but once our lips lock and I feel the warmth of her body against mine, I know I’ve done at least one thing right so far.

She could’ve screamed and scratched my eyes out, but I know Allison. Better than she thinks. A man learns an awful lot about a woman having her panties pressed against his face for hours at a time.

Allison’s fire, her bodily heat. Her helplessness. It’s just how I imagined her to be. She’s… she’s perfect.

Enough to stop me from killing Trap?

At least for the next few hours, if this kiss is anything to go by.

Once we do come up for air, it feels like we’ve explained a thousand things without a single word between us, but she needs to understand something.

She flushes awkwardly, but I keep her close to me, lifting her chin with my finger so I can tell her properly.

“I used to think my cell was home. Every time being out got to me, I'd wish I was back there again. But staying at your mom’s, sleeping in your bed… You, Allison. You're home to me now.”

Her features soften, and she sniffs back a glassy tear.

“But Killian, we… I mean, I don't even know you…”

“I don’t need to know you to know that I?—”

My big moment. My one-time show of feelings is sliced in two by the blast of a car’s horn from behind us.

“Hey, asshole! Move yourself, the train's long gone. What are ya waiting for?”

Allison jumps a little at the sudden sound but nuzzles closer once it’s clear I’m not gonna cause any more trouble for her tonight.

“Guess we’d better…” I smile to myself, gladder still when Allison keeps as much of herself and her hands on me as I clear my throat a little and get us moving again.

We drive in silence for a while, something I’m used to, but I can feel her mind swimming with a million questions. About me, about my past, like how in hell I ended up at her mom’s in the first place.

But she surprises me by taking the lead, letting the flat of her hand run up and down my thigh. Dangerously close to what I know she really wants another peek at.

I saw the way she looked at me on her bed, ready to pop and all because of her. For her, really. Everything I do from now on is for her.

“You still feel like killing someone?” she teases me, gnawing her lip playfully this time, but I can see she means it.

I guess I forgot. Most people don’t spend eight years living for the moment they can set the world right again. In my case, that means killing Trap. But right now, right this second?

Allison’s wide eyes look up at me from the dim light strobing us both. Me knowing she’s the only thing that could ever still the rage in me.

That and the fact I think we both know biologically what we’d both rather be doing right now. Starting with a few more of those kisses she's so clever at planting on me.

“I guess that can wait,” I drawl, smiling to myself. Happy to feel her relief that I’m not gonna do anything stupid. Not tonight.

“You wanna…” I venture after some more silence, but Allison’s head is already pumping nods of agreement. My eyes scan the highway ahead for a place to stop. Someplace nice, if there is such a thing out here.

But not everything has changed since I’ve been inside. A gaudy pink neon sign winks in the distance. The kind of hotel that takes cash and asks no questions. It’s not five stars, but it feels like Allison’s as eager as I am to get to know each other without being bunched up in a car that’s getting hotter by the minute.

“You sure about this?” I ask her, gripping her wrist gently before she gets out.

There’s a flash of hurt in her eyes, but only until I make my case clearer for her.

“I meant what I said, Allison. About this being destiny.”

“I know,” she squeaks, still unsure about my curious habit of sounding like a mental case who’s eaten a crossword puzzle. She sets me at ease with a gentle but greedy peck on my lips.

She’s learned fast how to tame me, but there’s more than just kisses I want from her. Destiny is a forever thing, but where are my manners?

We haven’t even checked in.

The interior makes me cringe with an almost apologetic glance to Allison once we’re at the front desk. Front cage, really. The thick security grille and the equally thick-looking manager kinda remind me of somewhere I’m all too familiar with.

And if it wasn't for tonight being courtesy of Mr. Dipshit from number sixteen, I’d probably wince at the prices too.

“Thirty bucks per half hour or two hundred the night. You mess it up; you clean it up. No guns, no drugs.”

I hand over the money gladly. Even if it was mine, I’d pay a thousand times that for a night alone with Allison.

There’s no doubt in my mind she feels the same way.

So… What if she says no? What if she just wants to kiss?

Okay, so there’s always an element of doubt in my mind when it comes to handling people, but Allison’s different. I just know she is.

“It’s nice!” Allison squeals, covering fresh nerves with pretend excitement once I let us into our ‘deluxe’ double suite.

“Trust me,” she reassures me, making a beeline to check out the attempt at a bathroom adjoining the wood-paneled room. “This is fancy compared to where I was staying. Before I?—”

“Why did you come back?” I interrupt her, but much like my own story, the full version of hers is something she wants to tell me all about. After.

I don’t mind when she ignores the question. It’s clear what we need to do next. Both of us move slowly towards each other, pulled by the same force that brought us together.

For all the crumminess of the room, all the trouble that’ll no doubt come from all of this, I feel like the guy on that billboard ad all over again.

Only this time, I’ve got her. I’ve got every reason to feel there’s a better place for me than prison.

Having her fall into my arms is the best place to start.