Howl (Monster Boyfriends #1)

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

RAEGAN

I wake up in a bed that’s not mine, but it only takes me a moment to realize where I am. I can tell the moment I open my eyes and see the smooth white ceiling above me. The ceilings in my apartment are an ugly beige stucco.

The stiff mattress beneath me only confirms where I am. I shift and hear the creaks and groans of Jamie’s guest bed, but really my bed, given I’m the only one who ever stays here. It’s nice having a bed after a late movie night when I don’t feel like driving home, but would it kill Jamie to update it? I’m pretty sure it’s over a hundred years old and is only a few more sleeps away from falling apart.

It’s Saturday morning, so my plans for the day are wide open. Part of me wants to stay in all day and avoid the outside world. It’s something I tend to do quite a bit, though I know it’s not the best coping mechanism.

I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire adult life, and whenever there’s a complicated situation, my way of processing involves avoiding it altogether.

Important phone call? Ignore it and try to forget.

Confrontation with an ex? Hide at my best friend’s house for the foreseeable future.

I don’t do well when it comes to pressure, and after last night’s scuffle between Jamie and Patrick, I think I’ll stay in my own little bubble while the world continues on outside my door. At least I’m not alone. Jamie will be here to keep me company. And his streaming subscription.

I toss the covers from my sweaty body and gather what little supplies I have to go take a shower. I have an extra change of clothes that I keep here at all times, but if I’m going to be staying longer than a day, I’ll need to go home and pack a bag.

As I pad down the carpeted hall to the bathroom, I hear the whine of the coffee maker, meaning Jamie must be downstairs. I glance at my watch and see I’ve slept till eleven. Jamie’s probably been awake since dawn.

I quietly close the door and proceed to re-tie my hair into a neater bun from where it’s come loose throughout the night. Once it’s secure, I remove the clothes I slept in last night and step into the shower.

The water is hot against my flushed skin, and I pretend each droplet is washing away the events of yesterday. I never expected Jamie to threaten Patrick the way he did. The sight of his hand clenched around Patrick’s throat—loose enough not to truly injure, but tight enough to send a message—infiltrated my dreams as I slept. In my dream, Patrick was a human-sized avocado, and Jamie was the size of a skyscraper, his hand large enough to wrap around Patrick’s round body and squeeze all his insides out!

Remembering the dream now is hilarious, but as I tossed and turned throughout the night, it felt more like a nightmare. Jamie being protective has never looked so predatory before. He looked out for me in high school when guys in his grade made fun of my nerdy appearance, and he’s never been afraid to be the first to speak up on someone else’s behalf. But last night he looked like he was one insult away from crushing Patrick’s windpipe.

It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard a comment like that on the close relationship Jamie and I have, though maybe a little less rude. If I had a dollar for every resident of this town who has asked if we’re a couple, I’d have enough to take at least a week's vacation from the bookstore.

I understand why some might think we’re in a relationship, because, in a way, we are. For me, it’s more than a friendship. We’re as close and compatible as any couple, we just don’t kiss.

Or have sex.

Because that would be weird.

No matter how intriguing it sounds.

With a little too much force, I twist the knob to the off position and step out of the shower. Once I’ve dried off with a fluffy towel and redressed, I head down the stairs to see what Jamie is up to.

I find him in the kitchen sitting on a stool at the island. His back is facing me, but I can see his favorite coffee cup filled with steaming black coffee. As if he senses me, he turns and greets me with a smile as warm as a hug.

“Hey.” His voice is low and scratchy. It’s probably the first time he’s spoken this morning.

“Hi.”

I feel nervous for some reason, as if there’s been a shift between us only I can sense. I’m probably still shaken from last night. It’s definitely not because of how cute his hair looks rumpled from being pressed against his pillow, or the way his back muscles stretch as he turns back to sip at his coffee.

And why am I suddenly overcome with the need to reach out and touch him? The house feels chilly, and right now I’m craving the warmth of his skin against mine like the lick of a flame on a cold autumn night. A shiver rushes down my spine and my arms pebble with goosebumps.

Get a hold of yourself, Raegan. This is your best friend you’re ogling.

When I look back, I’m momentarily entranced by the movement of his throat as he swallows, but as his cup hits the counter I snap back to focus.

Damn it! Stop staring at his Adam’s apple.

“How did you sleep?” he asks as I slip clumsily onto the stool across from him.

“Good,” I lie. Jamie doesn’t need to know about my demented avocado dream.

His lips press together like he wants to ask a followup question, but he diverts to a different topic. “I thought you might want to go grab a few extra clothes later. What time does he get off from the auto repair shop?”

‘He’ meaning Patrick. It seems Jamie has no interest in saying his name, which is fine with me. “One o’clock, I think.” The douche-canoe works part time at Reaper Repairs from eight A.M. to one in the afternoon, then he busts tables at Bones in the evenings. He’s typically home for a few hours before going to the restaurant, so we should have a window before and after when I can go to my building uninterrupted and grab my stuff. “Let’s go after breakfast,” I suggest.

Jamie nods and gets up to make a cup of coffee for me. “I think it’s best that you stay here this weekend. Just to let him cool off a bit. I don’t like how unpredictable that guy is.”

“Okay,” I agree. I think about my cat, but I know Cleetus will be fine on his own. I constructed a kitty door within the window that opens onto the balcony. From there he can make it to Mavis’s backdoor on the first floor where she feeds the neighborhood strays. As much as she might be annoyed with me, she’d never let a cat go hungry, and I’m grateful she looks out for Cleetus when I’m not home.

“But if you need to stay longer, you know you can.” Jamie pours a decent amount of creamer into my mug and sets it in front of me. It’s a medium shade of beige, just the way I like.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary. Your warning was loud and clear.”

He stiffens as he sits back down, then looks me pointedly in the eye, the golden brown color melting away any nerves I felt before, just like honey.

“Listen,” he starts, “I’m sorry for how I–”

I cut him off by placing a hand around his as he clutches his mug. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m grateful you were there. You were right to go with me. Thank you.”

He lets out a huge breath, lips parting in relief. “I didn’t want to scare you with how I acted.”

“You didn’t. I promise.”

I see his shoulders relax and it brings me relief as well. I can tell how much this weighed on him, but Jamie could never scare me. I trust him irrevocably.

I sit up straight and change the heavy subject. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“Let’s just hang out,” he says, looking up from his coffee to meet my gaze again. “We haven’t done that in a while.”

A smile is the only response I need to give him.

Abruptly, my cell phone chimes from the living room. I get up to grab my bag, shocked that Patrick is still trying to call me, but when I finally see the screen it’s my mother.

I grimace and answer begrudgingly, “Hello, mom.”

“Raegan? Oh, good. I caught you.”

Her haughty voice comes in a little too loud and clear, so I have to turn the volume down. “What’s up?”

“Well,” here we go , “Mavis called earlier saying you’re thinking about ending your lease.”

“That’s not what I—” I groan. “I told her I’d let her know.”

There’s a moment of silence. “And?”

I’m trying my best to understand how this concerns my mother, but I’m coming up short. “And then I put the car in drive,” I say sarcastically.

I hear a dramatic humph through the speaker, and I can imagine she’s rolling those scrutinizing eyes of hers to the back of her head. “What did you decide, Raegan?”

Jamie is throwing his hands in the air, silently pleading to know what we’re talking about, but I hold up a finger. “That was only a few hours ago,” I tell her. “I’ve got some other stuff I’m dealing with right now.” He comes over to where I’m pacing back and forth in the living room and gestures for me to put the phone on speaker, so I do.

I place it on the back of the couch and he leans over the device like an eager child.

“You know your room is still empty,” she suggests, her voice laced with sickly sweetness, but I can discern the manipulative tone.

“I don’t want to live with the coven.”

“There was no reason for you to leave in the first place. I know you’re struggling to keep up with rent. Why do you insist on making things harder for yourself when you could live here for free?”

“I like having my own place,” I state bluntly.

Ever since I left home at twenty-seven, my mother has been trying to guilt-trip me back under her roof. For some reason, in her mind, I think my not living with the rest of the coven only shines a spotlight on the fact that I’m not a witch. Secretly, I know she’s disappointed her only daughter doesn’t have magic, but she’ll never admit it.

While I think it’s her just being selfish, Jamie has tried to convince me that in reality, she just feels left out. All of the other witches her age have daughters to teach their magic to. Sometimes I can see where he’s coming from, but then I remember what it was like to live with her.

There was zero space or privacy in that house. As much as I like cozy small spaces, I prefer them alone. And quiet. The coven was constantly full of yelling and things breaking. I had to get out of there the second I could. Plus, I felt out of place. I couldn’t relate to anyone else, and the things I was going through as a teenager in high school just didn’t matter to the other girls. They could solve all their problems with a spell here and there.

Jamie can see the tension on my face at having to rehash my reasons for leaving all over again, so instead, he takes a step back and pretends he’s yelling from the other room.

“Hey, Rae! I think the oven is on fire!”

“Sorry, mom. Jamie’s trying to cook again.”

I hang up with a relieved sigh, and Jamie wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. “Time for movie night.”

So, after stopping by my apartment to grab a few more things, we spend the rest of the day watching movies, trying new recipes from Jamie’s food delivery service, and just enjoying one another’s company. Throughout the night, I forget about my confusing feelings, and by the time he passes out in the living room after an all day marathon of watching our favorite boy wizard, I’m reminded that at the end of the day, we’re just Raegan and Jamie: best friends first.

Everything else comes second.