Howl (Monster Boyfriends #1)

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

RAEGAN

I wish I could say I wasn’t shocked by Jamie’s confession, but I am. He offers for me to move in with him every time my lease is up, but he’s never flat out asked me because it’s what he wants.

There are several reasons why I continue to turn him down: one being my pride and another being I love my apartment no matter how expensive it is. But now I’m wondering if something new should be added to the list.

Touches from Jamie no longer just comfort me. They send a shiver down my spine. Dismissing the occasional lustful thought has been easy while still having space from one another, but if I moved in with him, it would be near impossible to ignore the little moments between us that keep happening more and more.

I stare at him blankly for several seconds, then draw a breath and release it heavily. “Jamie–”

“Don’t,” he cuts me off. “I’ve already heard every one of your excuses, and none of them are good enough.” I try to interject, but he stops me. “Your lease with Mavis is up in a little over a week. Either you stay here, barely making it paycheck to paycheck and continuing to stress yourself out for no reason—” I open my mouth. “Or,” he overstates, “you come live with me, rent free, and save some money. Plus you’ll get plenty of one-on-one time with your best friend.”

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.

I cross my arms and keep my eyes trained on the floor in front of me.

“Come on,” he practically begs. “Besides your pride, what’s holding you back?”

I lift my head to give him a pointed look, as if to say ‘you know exactly what’s holding me back.’ It’s that pull toward one another that we’ve been feeling but are too afraid to talk about.

“Rae, what is it?”

My hand flutters to my neck. I snuck a peek at myself in the mirror this morning, too afraid to look for more than a second. Even so, I managed to catch the now purple bruise blooming at the base of my throat.

Instead of voicing my true concern, I ask, “What about Cleetus? We’re a package deal.” We both look to my bedroom door, slightly ajar from where he slipped inside moments ago.

As much as Jamie probably loathes the idea of my cat prancing around his condo and scratching the shit out of his furniture, he also knows how much of a comfort Cleetus is to me. He’s been my emotional support animal for the past seven years.

“I know you two can’t be separated. He’s your best friend.”

I chuckle. “ You’re my best friend.”

“Sometimes I wonder,” he jokes. “Besides, he’s the one cuddling with you in bed every night.”

The comment strikes me right in my gut, and I feel those pesky butterflies making their move again. My eyes must be bulging from their sockets, because the look on his face makes me think he wishes he could take it back.

Neither one of us address the comment, instead we both laugh it off.

“If you’re sure you’re okay with it…but I also come with a lot of books. And kitchen decor.” I gesture to my lemon themed kitchen, complete with lemon hand towels and oven mitts, a giant lemon fruit bowl, lemon glasses and bowls, and a lemon timer. That’s not even half of it.

“Yes, Rae. I will gladly take your books and all your lemon shit.”

I gasp dramatically. “Jamie Trent! My lemon decor is not shit!”

He chuckles. “Okay, lemon.”

“Oh no, is that going to be my nickname from now on?”

“Maybe.” He cocks his head, visibly rolling the name over in his head. “It’s cute.”

I’m a sucker for a romance book in which the love interest gives the main character a nickname. I try to imagine him calling me lemon in a non-cute way, perhaps when he’s hovering over me, my legs spread…

Too far, Raegan.

When I don’t respond, he nudges me playfully. “Well? What do you say? Are you moving in with me?” It’s hard to focus on Jamie’s sincere expression with my vision currently clouded with lust. He takes my silence as hesitation, so he backtracks a little. “We’ll just see how it goes. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll help you find a new place. I promise. Just let me do this for you.”

It’s sweet that he always considers my comfort first, but I think I’m done fighting against what I’ve secretly wanted for a long time now. Sure, I might be opening myself to be crushed, but who’s to say I can’t enjoy some close proximity with him while I can?

I nod and smile, confirming my choice. “Okay.”

I want to be near him. I want to feel safe and secure, and I know Jamie is the best person to do that.

He stays with me again that night, and I fall asleep easily knowing he’s next to me. Even without touching him, his presence is enough to soothe any anxious feelings still burrowing into the back of my mind.

There’s no doubt now that there’s something different about the way I’m drawn to him. It isn’t just a history of friendship and trust, or the feeling of safety from being around someone who knows me better than anyone else.

Somewhere deep in my chest, it feels like imaginary hands are reaching out toward him, begging to pull us closer. It’s raw and primal, and the further I wade into these new feelings, the more consuming it feels.

It sounds impossible, but I have never needed something as much as I need to be close to him. Just having him in my sights is a powerful thing.

As I drift off listening to the sound of his steady breathing, I wonder if it’s possible for humans to have soulmates.

If so, I’m pretty sure he’s mine.