Howl (Monster Boyfriends #1)

Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

JAMIE

W hen we finally get back to the condo, the two of us look like we’ve just fought a war. We’re both mentally exhausted from what happened at the festival, and my body is tired from the shift. Raegan is probably ready to lock herself in her room to get away from me. I wouldn’t blame her. The amount of stress I’ve caused her makes me feel like the worst friend ever. It certainly doesn’t make me worthy of being her mate.

I think she’s about to head upstairs, but she surprises me by stopping in the living room. When she turns to face me, her eyes are misty and brimmed with tears. I move to her instinctively, knowing this might be the last time she lets me get this close, but once I get closer, I see she’s smiling.

She’s not upset or scared. She looks…happy.

“Raegan?” I brush her hair away from her face. “Are those happy tears?”

Her voice is rich with emotion when she says, “I want to accept the mate bond.”

I stutter. “Y-you, you w-what?”

She giggles and displays a wide grin. “I’m choosing forever with you Jamie Trent. I want to be your mate.”

I straighten and fully focus my gaze on the fading marks on Raegan’s throat. They’ve almost healed, yet all I can think about is how me being with her might add more.

“Are you sure that’s what you want, Rae? Just look at yourself. You’re literally battered and bruised, and it all started because of how I acted with Patrick.”

“It all started because you thought I was a burglar and accidentally cut me with a kitchen knife,” she corrects. But then her cheery demeanor fades, and I see the fear behind her smile. “I was really scared I was going to lose you,” she admits quietly, as fresh tears stream down her face. “Just the thought of you being taken away from me, I couldn’t bear it.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” I wipe the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs and kiss her softly. “I was scared too,” I confess, still holding her close. “You being in any kind of danger makes me feel like my heart is outside my chest. I want to be able to protect you, but I don’t want to smother you.”

“Will me being your mate make it easier?” she asks in earnest.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. This is all new to me. But it would at least let me feel more connected to you. I’d be able to feel when you’re in pain.”

Raegan lifts her chin. “Then that’s what I want.”

“You’re sure?” I have to ask at least one more time.

“I am one thousand percent sure.” She makes sure to use my own words, so I know she’s serious.

I take her freshly bandaged arm in my hands. Once again, I’m grateful for Aidan’s quick thinking, and even more unsure of how I’ll ever repay him for his kindness. Vampires and werewolves aren’t known to be friendly, but Aidan has gone out of his way to save Raegan twice now.

“Looks like we’ve come full circle,” I murmur softly as I press her hand against my chest. “Let’s go to bed.”

We take our time climbing the stairs, all the while holding tight to one another with clasped fingers. She might have confirmed her willingness to accept the bond, but this thing between us still feels too good to be true. I don’t think I’ll be one hundred percent confident until I’m locked inside her. I just hope she doesn’t freak out over what’s about to happen.

If I warn her about knotting ahead of time, I worry she won’t be able to enjoy the sex. Her mind will be focused on what’s coming next throughout the entire process, and I’d hate for our first time to be ruined by her anxious thoughts. But I don’t want to lie to her either. Truthfully, I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. Knotting only happens between mates, so I’m not sure how to warn of something I don’t even know how to describe.

As we enter my bedroom—the one that, after tonight, will officially be ours—I decide the way to do this is to be completely honest and guide her through it.

We’re sweaty and still frazzled by the day’s events, but as I watch her remove her shirt after stopping at the foot of the bed, I’m lost in the sight of how beautiful she is. Even nervous, hands shaking as she moves to strip off her pants next, she looks perfect. She’s facing away from me, and I find myself leaning at the door frame admiring her petite frame and delicious curves, her pale skin illuminated in the moonlight coming through the bedroom window.

She turns to see me staring, and for a second, I think she’s going to cover herself, embarrassed by me watching her for so long, but she doesn’t. Instead, she walks confidently over to where I’m standing and fists the front of my shirt in her delicate fingers. I grab the back of my collar and pull the shirt over my head as she draws lines down my stomach. My muscles clench beneath her touch, and I can’t believe I’ve managed to hold out this long.

“These too,” she demands seductively, tugging lightly on the pair of pajama pants I borrowed from Rhett. Turns out I was wrong, he does own plaid.

I slide out of them with one hand, along with my boxers, while keeping the other on Raegan’s slender shoulder. I will never not be in awe of how soft she feels beneath my touch.

She looks at me fully for the first time, taking in everything I have on display for her. As she looks her fill, I’m a bit self-conscious. My cock is hard and swollen at the base, something she’s probably never seen before, but she doesn’t appear to be put off by it. Only curious.

I gently move her back to the bed, and she falls flat on her back with a small giggle, head sinking between the pillows. I adjust them so she’s propped up. Her smile is unlike any drug, and the feeling of her smooth flesh beneath my touch elicits the most unique euphoria I will ever experience. She is my entire world, my moon and my sun. I want to revolve around her and just exist in her presence.

I take my time exploring the hills and valleys of her body. Raegan’s skin raises as I trail my fingers up her legs. When I reach her hip, I lean down to plant an open-mouthed kiss on her stomach. She whimpers as I move up her torso and feel my way to her breasts. I take one nipple between my teeth and tug with delicate precision, and I hear little moans leave her mouth, making my head spin.

Raegan’s hands are searching across the plane of my back, and as I move between her legs, her thighs fall to either side. My erection slides painfully against the inside of her soft thigh as I situate myself above her. I have to fight the urge to bear down and gain more friction.

I look at her face, hoping to see nothing but pure bliss, but she’s biting her lip worriedly. I know she’s enjoying this, but I can tell the difference between Raegan biting her lip seductively and Raegan stressing herself out for no reason. I was right about her being anxious about the mate bond, but I don’t know how to stop it.

“Hold that thought,” I say, getting up suddenly.

Her legs fall to the bed and she scowls. “What’re you doing?”

I race from my bedroom buck naked and across the hall to hers. Cleetus is lying on his back in Raegan’s new bed, snoring in sleepy bliss. I ignore him and go to her bookshelves, searching for the book she’d been listening to on her phone last week. Based on her confession, I know she keeps a physical copy of everything she listens to, but I actually let out a ‘ah-ha!’ when I recognize the cover.

Pulling it from the shelf, I hurry back to where Raegan is now sitting in my bed with a dumbfounded expression on her face. “What are you doing?”

I hand her the book and flick on the light beside the bed. “I wanna hear you read that spicy scene out loud while I feast on that pretty pussy of yours.”

Raegan’s blush floods her cheeks and extends to her neck, but I don’t want her to overthink this. I want her to feel confident and sexy. I don’t simply want her to tell me what she likes, I want her to learn new things about herself. Things she never knew she wanted before and only I can provide.

She takes the book from my hands and flips right to the specified chapter. The first page has been dog-eared.

“Raegan,” I playfully scold her, “have you marked the page?

She looks up at me sheepishly. “I might have re-read it,” she admits. “Twice.”

“Welp, third time’s the charm.” I yank her carefully back down onto the bed and she squeals. I make sure her head is properly supported by the pillows before laying on my stomach between her thighs, then wait patiently for her to start reading. “Go on then.”

“Jamie, this is weird.”

“No, it’s not. Don’t overthink it. Just read it as if you’re reading it to yourself, only I’ll be acting it out. It’ll be a 4D experience.”

I glance up to see she’s giving me the most deadpan you’re-an-idiot expression I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help but laugh. But then she lets out a sigh and settles back into position.

She starts to read. “‘ His tongue stroked languid lines along my folds’, ugh, gross. I don’t like that word.”

“Raegan.”

“Okay, okay. ‘ I shuddered at the feel of him gliding through my wetness. His eyes peered up at me, starving, as if the taste of me was so good, he would never be able to fully satiate himself.’”

I’m trying my hardest not to laugh, because I can hear the cringe in her tone, but when I finally press a kiss to her clit, her hips jerk slightly. “Keep going.”

She obeys, reading through the next paragraph with more confidence as I start to press harder against her clit with my tongue. When I slide a finger inside her, her breath hitches between the words. I stroke slowly with my tongue while I start to pump in and out of her, eventually adding another finger. She’s starting to fidget, and I know she wants to move faster, harder, so I pick up the pace with my fingers, slamming my knuckles against her opening as I suck on her delicate bundle of nerves.

She lets out a small cry, and I feel the book she’s holding fall against the top of my head. She definitely isn’t reading anymore, and by what I can tell, she isn’t stressing anymore either.

I pound my fist into her slick heat, my fingers hitting the spot I know she wants. Her cry turns into a long and downright pornographic moan. Without looking, I reach above my head and toss the book to the floor, leaving room for me to find the curve of her breasts. I run my thumb over her hardened nipple just as I lift my head and switch my entire focus to the relentless thrusts of my hand. She’s dripping around my fingers, and I’m moving so fast I almost slip out of rhythm a few times, but then I see her mouth fall open, signaling the start of her climb to climax.

My muscles are starting to cramp, but I don’t let up. I follow through until she’s writhing and crying out. When it’s too much, she grabs my hand and pulls it away, so I stop, placing gentle kisses along her pelvis instead.

“Jamie.”

“Yes.”

“I-I can’t feel my legs.”

I chuckle. “Lemon, we’re just getting started.”