Hung By the Fire (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 4

four

COLE

I felt like a teenager trying to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, but sometimes a person had to do what they had to do.

Now was one of those times.

Closing the bedroom door, with the stealth and quietness of a cat burglar, I breathed a sigh of relief. Joy was sleeping and had been for hours. Admittedly, I checked on her a crazy number of times during the night. No one could fault me, considering she alternated between wide awake and screaming her head off for weeks. So I was taking the sleep blessing when it happened.

With a cup of fresh-brewed coffee in one hand and the now ever-present baby monitor tucked under my arm, I opened the back door and stepped onto the porch. The sun was only beginning to rise, setting the world alight in its warm winter’s glow. I placed the monitor on the small side table, though Lord knew I could hear her from a mile away when she got going, and settled myself into the chair.

While my body may have settled, my mind was anything but.

Nothing could stop the flashback and memories of the night before. Taking a sip of coffee before setting the chair rocking to and fro, I let myself have a minute to travel back only hours ago in time.

To last night. To her bed. To easily the best sex I’d ever had.

To my whiskey girl.

Except she wasn’t mine, and to even have that thought did a disservice to both of us. But in those few hours together, in the stillness of her motel room broken up by only the sounds of two people lost in each other, she felt like mine. Her body, all soft and curvy, felt right against the hardness of mine. Her shimmery dark brown hair had slid through my fingers like the finest of silk. Every purr and plea and moan, a combination of her needs and my name, screamed through my head like they’d belonged there.

Except they didn’t.

She was perfection, and I most assuredly didn’t even come close to that moniker or deserving of someone like that.

In the frigid early morning, my body overheated all because of her.

I took another sip of the strong brew, wishing it didn’t erase the taste of Bethany. I’d never had an issue getting past a one-night stand before. The whole purpose of them was one and done, each of us getting what we wanted or needed in the moment and then moving on. I’d pretty much perfected it, considering I didn’t do relationships. Except everything about last night felt different.

It felt unsettled. Unfinished.

Minutes passed as the sun moved slowly up the sky. Joy moved around in her crib, but never awoke or cried out. Sometimes, I thought she cried at night because she knew what she lost. It killed me, yet it also made me even more determined to figure out how to give her everything she could need and want. Even if I was a sorry excuse for the parents she’d forever be without and couldn’t figure exactly why they entrusted me with her, I’d do my best to honor their wishes.

Which meant getting back to work so I could make a living to raise her. The fact that after two months and countless applications and interviews with people to watch Joy when I worked and I still had no option, weighed heavily on me. It wasn’t easy when I didn’t have a normal schedule. People weren’t often willing to take a baby, who wasn’t their own, at six in the morning on a Sunday and watch them for twenty-four hours. I looked over at Mrs. M’s house. She was practically vibrating with ideas when I’d come home last night, but my mind was in such a mess over whiskey girl, I couldn’t even process her words.

Asking for help was not my strong suit, but maybe it was time.

Or I could wait for help to come to me. Which it did when Mrs. M made her way to my back door around lunchtime.

“My, my. Look at her,” she exclaimed after I welcomed her inside.

I noticed the wonder, or maybe it was shock in her voice, and couldn’t blame her.

“Right?” I followed her gaze to the baby blissfully sitting in her bouncy seat. It still shocked me that two months ago I had no fucking idea what a bouncy seat was and now I had one. “I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth,” I whispered, though I was not what anyone would call optimistic, “but it’s like she woke up with a whole new attitude. She hasn’t cried once.” I almost fell off the chair when I realized Joy was staring up at the mobile over her crib instead of testing out her lung capacity after first opening her eyes. “I’m a little afraid I broke her.”

I should be thrilled at the turn of events, but I couldn’t help but think I did something wrong. Like she’d finally given up crying for her parents because she knew she was stuck with me.

Mrs. M laughed, a sound that warmed something inside of me. “You didn’t break her. You could never do that.” I didn’t have the same confidence in myself as Mrs. M seemed to, but I let the comment slide. She slipped off her jacket before taking a seat at the small wooden table set up in the kitchen. It looked lost in the large space, but I was one person. Well, one and a quarter maybe. “Last night, I thought she might be teething, so I had Delivery Dan stop at the drugstore and drop me off some soothing gel. I think you may find that helps.”

“Teething? Already?” I hadn’t gotten to that in the baby books yet. I thought I had more time. “Are you sure?”

“Well, I’m no expert, but she definitely calmed down afterward last night, and she seems a little happier this morning. I left the gel on the changing table so you’d have it.” Walking over to the counter, I reached up into a cabinet for a mug and poured her a cup of coffee from the ever-present pot I had going, before handing it off to her. With a nod she continued, “How was your night? You didn’t say much when you got home.”

Not surprising as my every thought had been wrapped up in the woman whose bed I left. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell Mrs. M that. I don’t think she signed up for that when I became her neighbor-slash-friend.

I turned, not wanting her to be able to read anything in my face. “It was fine.” More than fine, but that was my secret.

She chuckled, “You can’t fool me, but it’s none of my business. I’m simply glad I could help.” A sly smile crossed her face. “And that I pushed you out the door. You needed the break.”

I hated to admit it, but I did. From the minute the social worker had placed Joy in my arms, even while I was still trying to comprehend the fact my best friends were both gone, my only focus had been on her. I was probably doing a piss poor job of taking care of her, but I was trying.

“Anyway, since you were somewhere else last night and likely didn’t hear me when you got home, I’ll tell you again.” She took a sip, before setting the mug on the table and reaching out her finger to Joy, who delightedly grabbed hold. And promptly tried to stick it in her mouth. “I think I have a solution to your problem.”

Considering I had more problems than I knew what to do with, I was a little afraid to ask. I settled across from her before asking, “What problem is that?”

“Childcare, of course.”

Okay, that was a big one.

“Mrs. M, I already told you, I can’t ask you to do that.” The woman worked, owned her own business in fact, and there was no way I was adding to her workload. “I’ll figure something out.”

She rolled her eyes at me before looking at Joy. “Your Uncle Cole is not letting me finish.”

I winced a bit because I should only have ever been this baby’s uncle, not her sole caretaker. Talk about getting the short end of the parenting stick. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” she said with a grin. “Anyway, I think I mentioned Joanne was moving back home.” I vaguely remembered her talking about the woman who’d worked in her shop leaving Evergreen Lake, but hadn’t thought much of it. “Well, I asked my niece to come help out. She could do with a change of scenery, and she loves plants and flowers even more than I do. I’ll say she was a bit reluctant. Evergreen Lake isn’t her favorite place in the world.”

Mrs. M got this far-off look in her eye that I’d never seen from her before. As if she were lost in memories, but almost as soon as it appeared, she shook it off. “Anyway, she decided to come out.” She gave a light-hearted laugh that caused Joy’s little arm to wave up and down. “I think her sister did more to convince her than me, but I’m grateful for the push. So, I thought she could help you.”

I frowned. “I thought she was coming to help you?”

“She is, but that doesn’t mean she can’t help you too.” Mrs. M shrugged, like the solution was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re not gone every day. We could tag team when you don’t need her and the days you do, she’ll stay with this cupcake.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off, “She has experience babysitting, and was even a nanny in college, so she can juggle the work. Besides, you need someone, and I think she could use something meaningful to do right now.”

“Doesn’t sound like she signed on for this added responsibility.”

“She’ll be fine.”

Now it was my turn to laugh as I got up. “Watching an infant, especially for a full day straight, is not something you just spring on someone.”

Mrs. M waved off my offer of more coffee before standing and donning her coat. “She’s coming into town today, and I’ll talk to her before I introduce you. Promise me you’ll at least be open to it if she says yes.” She walked my way, reaching out for my hand similarly to how she did Joy’s. Instead of me grabbing her finger, she covered mine with hers. “You need something, and still you won’t ask for it. Let us help.”

Accepting anything from anyone had never been my strong suit. My parents offered me very little, whether in terms of guidance or help or even love. What they did give me was sometimes brutal discipline and a hesitancy to trust people could actually care about me. I’d clung to that for so long, barely anyone slipped through the walls I put up. Brian and Tricia were pretty much the only ones, until Mrs. M somehow started chipping away at them. Now she was the only one left.

Well, her and Joy, whom I couldn’t do anything but let in.

I knew a losing battle when I saw one. Much like sometimes the flames burned out of control and the team had to let the beast do what it wanted or risk catastrophic human loss.

I smiled her way, one signaling my capitulation. “Fine. If she agrees, we can talk.”

Nothing in my life had ever been that easy.

Several hours later, Joy and I were once again on the back porch, her gums newly coated in a fresh layer of gel that eased her pain, when a shiver worked its way down my spine. The day had lost the biting chill of the morning, so I didn’t think it was the weather. No, this was the type of spidey-sense I got when a fire was about to go sideways. Abort. Abort. My gaze lifted to the backyard abutting mine and the two figures walking across the grass. One I’d known for almost a year and one for only one night.

But the night was emblazoned on my memory.

Whiskey girl.

I considered turning tail, stalking into the house, and locking myself and Joy away. If I thought fighting Mrs. M earlier on her suggestion was a losing battle, it had nothing on right now.

As they neared, I watched the emotions play out on Bethany’s face. Her initial welcoming smile morphed to shock, the friendliness in her eyes changed to heat, and I didn’t think the pink in her cheeks had anything to do with the slight breeze.

I should have known those flames signifying danger wouldn’t be doused that easily.

I had to wonder if the flames of desire would be just as hard.