Hupotasso (Vampire Bachelor Games #2)

39

39

I don’t know what to do.

When I got back to my room last night I’d washed until I’d scrubbed myself raw, and gargled enough whisky and mouthwash to make myself vomit, before continuing to drink until I was drunk.

When I was clean, liquored up, but still shaking like a leaf, I’d had to get a grip on my emotions. Being face raped was horrific, something I don’t even want to think about ever again as long as I live. I’m determined to compartmentalise the assault and pretend it never happened, because it’s not the worst part. The worst part about what Viper’s done to me is that I no longer have any free will.

None.

All day I’ve stared into the mirror, seeing me, but not me. It’s like there’s someone else living inside my head alongside me, and they’re evil, calculating and controlling.

I tried telling a maid this morning what had happened, but my lips wouldn’t open. It was like they were glued shut and my tongue was concreted to the roof of my mouth. I tried stabbing myself with a pen, just to see if I could harm myself, but my hand wouldn’t allow me to pick it up. I tried pretending I was going to write something and then stabbing myself, but I still couldn’t pick up the pen. My brain betrayed me anyhow — any intent to do anything other than what Viper has ordered me to do is thwarted.

I’ve cried all I can cry. I thought my life couldn’t get any worse living in this castle, in this royal vampire hell.

How wrong I was.

My face still swollen from weeping, I make my way to the only one I think might, somehow, be able to help me.

As I step into the kitchen bustling with staff I don’t recognise, I notice her leaning against the far wall, flicking a knife back and forth over her fingers.

When she sees me she sniggers and rolls her eyes.

“What now?”

If she takes in my harried appearance, she doesn’t show it.

“I need to speak with you.”

“Didn’t I make it clear the last time you were here that I don’t like you and I don’t want to speak to you?”

I want to tell her that last time we spoke I wasn’t a zombie under the control of a maniac. But, of course, I can’t. If I try to form the words my throat constricts and I feel like I’m suffocating. Instead, I shrug and try a round-about way to see if there’s any chance at all of revealing that he’s bitten me.

“What can you tell me about Viper?”

“Ask the maids if you seek gossip.”

“I don’t seek gossip. And the maids won’t speak to me, although one did tell me Viper’s hosting a special guest soon, a lady friend. She said Viper probably had a few other people coming too because she’d had to set up several bedrooms.”

“Is he now?” She sneers.

“Yes. But I don’t know who, and I don’t really know anything about Viper. I’d like to know what you think of him — after all, he is your brother.”

Her eyes flash angrily.

“I’ve told you never to say that.”

“Sorry,” I step back a little as her fangs begin to descend.

“If you must know, I despise him,” she hisses as she stalks to the sweets cupboard, “as I despise them all. Although at least he doesn’t hide behind a veneer of culture and entitlement. He’s a cunt through and through and makes no show of being anything other.”

“Eleanor speaks highly of you,” I frown, “surely you don’t hate her?”

Her fangs retract and she bites down hard into a cookie, her eyes not leaving mine as she chews thoughtfully.

I try another tack.

“Ah, does Viper stay here all year round? Or does he have royal responsibilities?”

‘If he goes some distance will the bite reduce in intensity? Will his grip on me diminish? Oh fuck, please, say it’s so.’

“The youngest son has no responsibilities,” she sniggers. “He lives only to satiate his sick desires and make a nuisance of himself.”

“Sick desires?”

She shrugs and I get the impression she’s not going to reveal any more. I can’t help but shudder, though. He’d already given me a taste of that, and intimated he could do anything he wanted with me, any time. The fact I can’t even formulate the words to ask for help makes me think he’s not lying.

“Does he have to marry? You know, like Falcon did?”

“No.”

“Does he ever go away?”

“Where are all these questions leading?”

“Ah, nowhere,” I shrug, “I’m just trying to understand the family dynamics.”

“Then go see Eleanor,” she hisses, “and leave me be.”

I turn to leave, my brow furrowed. I’m beginning to think my only option might be to go to Falcon. Perhaps he’ll be able to discern a change in me. But he’d made it obvious he loathes me, so he might not even care. Hell, he might have given Viper permission to do anything he wanted with me, for all I know. The depth of his hatred for me now seems to be limitless. But surely this is taking torturing me too far, even for him? Surely...?

Spinning, I ask something that I’d been wondering since Caroline had mentioned it.

“Ah, Asumpta, one last question, I promise. As the procurement officer for this castle, does, ah, does Falcon have a favourite kind of meal?”

She grins a sly, evil grin.

“Sure.”

“Ah, what kind?”

‘Please, oh please, don’t say redheads.’

“Do you really want to know?”

I stare at her for a long, long minute, before shaking my head and leaving.

I guess I already know.

And I know there’s no point going to him for help.