Hurry Up And Wait (Owens Protective Services #24)

26. Cash

26

CASH

It was all coming together. Soon, I would have the answers I needed. My father, Shadow, was waiting for my call, for me to tell him the names of the men who worked with The Syndicate—who turned a blind eye to their activities and allowed my sister to be kept on an island with a madman, all in the name of money and power.

And the sooner this ended, the sooner we could get back to our lives. I would finally be able to put Rafe’s death behind me. My father would be able to move on with Claire. And Isabelle…she would finally be able to live her life in peace, knowing that the men responsible were dead and could no longer hurt her.

As for where she was now, that little-known fact was completely hidden from me—from all of us. Michael had hidden her where no one could find her so she could recover in peace. She didn’t yet know everything about what happened to Rafe, and I doubted she was of the mindset to accept the sacrifice he made for her. She was fragile after such an ordeal, and she needed time to heal. Time away from her family and the new relatives that she wasn’t yet ready to meet.

So, I backed off and gave her that time. Everything could wait until her mind was healed, until she could move on and accept what life had thrown at her .

I glanced at my desk where my phone vibrated, skittering across the wood. It was Eli, probably calling to check in. Eager for any news, I answered immediately, trying to drown out the background noise from whatever rally they were at.

“Speak up. I can’t hear you.”

“Cash, what the fuck is going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know goddamn well what I’m talking about,” he snapped. “The senator just announced his plans to run for president. You fucking knew, didn’t you?”

Of course, I knew. I knew the moment the senator asked Kavanaugh for a favor. I did my homework. I talked to his advisors. I found out what the price would be for the information I needed. It would have been stupid to walk in so blindly.

“Cash, you’re playing a dangerous game,” Eli snapped when I didn’t answer.

“Kavanaugh knows what he’s doing. He agreed to this.”

“Did he agree to being bombarded on stage? That wasn’t what these rallies were supposed to be. It’s a fucking shitshow out here!”

“He can handle it,” I snapped.

“Yeah? Is that why he just fucking ran off stage and fled on foot?”

I speared my fingers through my hair, cursing under my breath. “I thought he could handle it.”

“Maybe he could have if you had actually talked to him about it. Christ, what the fuck are you doing, Cash? This isn’t like you.”

“I’m getting answers.”

“And since when do those answers include lying to everyone who’s trying to help you?”

I stiffened at the accusation. “Watch your mouth.”

“Or what? Do you have plans for me, too? I never fucking took you to behave like Rafe. I thought you were better than that.”

He hung up before I could respond. For just a second, I allowed myself to feel the weight of his words. There was truth ringing in them, but I refused to let it take hold of me. This was about justice, about taking down evil. Maybe they didn’t understand that or didn’t want to believe it, but Rafe had an end goal, and I’d be damned if I would let him die and not finish what he started.

“Tell me you didn’t do it.”

Her voice slid over me like silk, soothing the anger inside me. Eva had a way of doing that, but right now, there was an edge to her voice. Anger and fear lingered in her words, making me question if I could go through with this.

“What’s that?” I asked, keeping my tone even and controlled.

“Tell me you didn’t just hang your friend out to dry for answers.”

I finally turned to face her, my emotions locked down tight. I wouldn’t let her penetrate the wall I’d built around myself. If I was going to finish this and avenge my brother, I had to rid my soul of any emotional attachments. And that included links I had with those closest to me.

“Shouldn’t you be with Fox somewhere?”

I could see the anger swimming in her eyes, the tears that she refused to let fall. She was crashing. I knew it, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was barely hanging on myself. All I had was anger on my side. Anger and revenge. It was all that kept me going when I woke up in a cold sweat from the nightmares that plagued me. Most nights, I couldn’t even get a solid four hours in before I had to go to the training center and work off the overwhelming rage pouring through my veins.

“Cash…Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m working. That’s what’s going on.”

“You’re hardly taking any jobs. All you’re focused on is revenge.”

“Because that’s all I have!” I shouted.

Her breath caught in her throat and her body stiffened at my words. “All you have? What about me? What about our kids? Do they not deserve you?”

I shook my head, unable to explain it to her. She didn’t know what I had done. No one had told her, and I wasn’t about to. I couldn’t even begin to speak the horrible words—to tell her that I had pulled the trigger and killed my own brother. I couldn’t admit that I hadn’t been able to save him when it counted. He would have been able to save me. He would have lied, deceived, and killed anyone to get to me .

But I was too weak.

I had always been weaker than him. Rafe had a strength in him that I didn’t possess. He was always one step ahead of me, always pushing new boundaries and finding ways to win even when he was behind. I never felt like more of a failure than the moment I knew the only way to save my brother was to end his misery.

He begged me for it with his eyes.

And now I had to live the rest of my life replaying that moment in my mind. It would never leave me. I would always be the man who ended his brother’s life. I didn’t know how to be the husband or father she needed. She would be better off if she just lived her life and forgot about me.

“This isn’t like you, Cash. You’ve never put your own wants ahead of the company or the people you work with.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, and look where that got me.”

“It got you a strong community of men who would do anything for you. They went with you to take out The Syndicate. They fought alongside you. They would walk through fire for you, Cash! Why can’t you see that?”

“I do see that,” I snapped. “I know exactly who these men are. I know them a hell of a lot better than you.”

She stiffened, glaring at me. “Is that why you sent Kavanaugh off to work with his father?”

“He volunteered to do that.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Don’t give me that line of bullshit. You manipulated him. You’re not as much like Rafe as you’d like to be right now. He’s much better at keeping his motivations hidden than you are. And maybe you’re thinking that’s a downfall, but I’m glad of it. At least with you, I always know what I’m getting.” Then her hands fell to her sides and her shoulders slumped. “I used to know,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure I even recognize you anymore.”

“This is who I am, Eva. Take it or leave it—this is me.”

“No, this is who you think you need to be. One day, you’ll realize Rafe never wanted this for you. That’s why he never brought you in on his plans. You were always too good for the plans he had?—”

“Too good to help him?” I snapped. “I was a fucking sniper. I killed more men than you’ll ever know. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

“That’s not what I meant and not the way he saw you either!” She took a steadying breath, shaking her head at me. “He saw you as his better half. When he pretended to be you, why do you think he wouldn’t touch me?”

“Because he knew I’d fucking kill him,” I snarled.

“That and because he never wanted to hurt you. All this time, I thought Rafe was selfish and…basically the worst person on the face of the earth. But now I see what he did for you.”

I didn’t want to hear any more of this. It only added to my self-hatred.

“He protected you because he didn’t want you to become him.”

“Get out!” I shouted, losing my cool. “Get the fuck out, Eva!”

She didn’t jump. She didn’t look shocked. Hell, she didn’t even look angry at me. She nodded and turned on her heel, leaving me in peace.

But peace was never going to come.

I closed my eyes.

I smelled the smoke.

Flames surrounded his body.

Agonized screams tore through my mind.

I lined up the shot.

And then he was gone.

I released a tormented breath and dropped to my knees. He was gone, and I couldn’t save him. Nothing would ever be the same again.