Hurry Up And Wait (Owens Protective Services #24)

35. Isla

35

ISLA

“Riley!”

I spun in the dark, searching for her. She was there one minute, racing toward me, and then she was gone. Like a wisp of a shadow or a ghost floating by, I could never catch her. And every time I ran toward her, I heard another voice calling to me, begging me to answer.

I turned toward the sound of her voice, my heart pounding in my chest as I desperately searched for her. “Riley!”

“Isla! I’m here!”

I raced in the direction of her voice, but just as I saw her, she was snatched before my very eyes. A hooded figure wrapped a skeleton claw around her mouth, dragging her backward into the mist. I couldn’t reach her, no matter how hard I ran.

Pain shattered across the back of my head and I collapsed on the ground. Blood pooled around me, gushing from me as I stared down at my hands that were rapidly filling with blood.

Her blood.

I knew it was hers without even seeing her. He’d killed her and it was all my fault. If only I had taken Shawn’s threats more seriously. If only I hadn’t been so pigheaded and listened to Kavanaugh. But I had protection. IKE was with me, and Bowie was with Riley. So, why wasn’t she safe? What more could I have done?

I stumbled to my feet, only to slip and fall in the massive amount of blood surrounding me. It grew by the second until I was drowning in it, swimming in a river of blood to save myself. On the banks, I saw Kavanaugh, standing with his hands in his pockets as he watched me struggle to stay alive.

“You should have listened to me.”

“Help!” I shouted, reaching out a bloody hand to him. “Please!”

“You didn’t trust me to take care of you. You didn’t believe me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late for sorry. Look at what you’ve done. This is all because of you.”

I tried to cry out to him, but the lump in my throat wouldn’t allow me to call him. And then he vanished, slipping from the bank of the bloody river. I was drowning now, choking on the blood that spilled from my sister’s veins.

It was all my fault. All my fault. All my fault.

I jerked upright in bed. Sweat coated my skin and soaked my sheets. For just a moment, all I saw around me was red. It was on my skin and in my bed. But when I brushed it away, there was nothing there. Heart pounding, I scrambled from the bed and turned on the light, staring around the room for the river of blood.

“It’s not there,” I whispered. “It’s just a dream.”

Brushing my sweaty hair from my head, I pulled it up in a ponytail and sat in a chair by the window. The darkness outside scared me. I never used to be afraid of the dark, but now, closing my eyes terrified me. Would I always dream of my sister dying? Would Kavanaugh always be there, taunting me about how I didn’t listen to him?

I glanced up at the sensor on the window. Solid red. No one was in the house. Riley and I were safe. But what happened when we left the house? What would happen when Shawn tried again? Would we ever really be safe?

“Can’t sleep?”

I looked over at Riley standing in my doorway. “No.”

“Me neither. ”

She trudged into the room and flopped on the bed, then grimaced and sat up. “Your sheets are wet.”

I shrugged, knowing I didn’t need to go into great detail with her. “Bad dreams.”

She nodded. I knew she understood. I heard her dreams also. “Have you talked to Kavanaugh?”

I shook my head. “Not since the hospital.”

“What are you going to say?”

That was assuming he ever wanted to speak to me again. It all seemed ridiculous now in the big scheme of things. I knew once the terror of the other night passed that Kavanaugh’s betrayal would wreak havoc on my brain, but for now, all I really wanted was to hold him. I wanted his scent wrapped around me as he held me in his arms and told me everything would be okay. And I knew that was selfish. I knew that it would be using him in the worst way, but that’s what I needed right now.

“You know, you could call him. He would come over.”

“That wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“Don’t you think he’d want to be here?”

By the look on her face, I already knew what she thought. And maybe it would make her feel better if I did call him. Bowie couldn’t be here. He was in the hospital. We had a team here watching over the house, but that wasn’t the same thing.

“I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. You pick up the phone and call him.”

She made it sound so simple. “And what about everything else?”

“You deal with that in the morning. Until then…”

I nodded in understanding, but I wasn’t sure I could do it. I still felt so angry about the whole situation. He had been sleeping with me while lying to me the whole time. How did I know it wouldn’t happen again? I was frustrated with the whole thing, and I couldn’t settle my brain down. At this point, I was pretty sure sleep wouldn’t come anytime soon.

“I’m getting some water. Maybe I’ll watch some TV.”

She nodded and headed back to her room while I walked downstairs. I flicked on the lights, not wanting to walk through the dark. Water seemed like a fruitless attempt at falling asleep. What I really needed was a shot, but I had no alcohol in the house. After grabbing a bottle of water, I headed back into the living room and sank down on the couch in front of the window.

My eyes drifted into the darkness without my consent, searching for anyone who might be here to harm us. Instead, I saw the OPS minivan parked out front. I knew the guys were around the outside of the house, watching and waiting for anything that might happen. I should feel safe. I should be able to sleep just fine, but…

My eyes landed on a pickup truck parked out front, hiding just to the right of the minivan. How had I not seen it before? I sat up straight, squinting in the dark to see and…

I was at the door, flinging it open before I could think twice about it. My T-shirt billowed in the cool breeze, and I was all too aware of the man standing on my porch, watching me curiously. But as Kavanaugh got out of his truck and ran across the lawn to me, nothing else mattered.

He was at the door in seconds, scooping me up in his arms and holding me tight. I buried my face in his neck, finally taking a deep breath as his hand ran soothingly up and down my back. A fissure ran through my chest, breaking the wall I had built since the day I found out Kavanaugh had lied to me.

He had. But he was here now. He was sitting in his truck, watching for any threats and protecting me the only way he knew how.

“It’s alright,” he whispered. “I’m here.”

Then he had me in his arms, cradled gently as he carried me upstairs. I heard the door shut and assumed it was one of his men, making sure the house was locked up tight. I kept my eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to my temple, then gently laid me down in the bed, kicking off his boots as he settled beside me, cocooning me in his arms.

“I—”

“Don’t,” he whispered. “It doesn’t matter tonight.”

I didn’t have the words to tell him what it meant to me that he was here despite not knowing what the future held. I felt like things were shattering around me, and I didn’t know how to handle that. But he was here, holding me together when we hadn’t even discussed what happened.

“Thank you,” I whispered, hoping it conveyed my utmost gratitude.

His hand soothingly slid up my arm, then back down over and over again. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”

I swallowed hard as tears filled my eyes. I didn’t want to think about what that might mean for our future, so I closed my eyes and snuggled into his warmth as he chased away the nightmares.

I swung open the door to the house, putting on the best smile I could muster as Riley yelled at Bowie as he attempted to climb the stairs. The house was exactly the same as I left it when I ran out a week ago to save Riley’s life. The only difference was that IKE was no longer looming in the background. He’d left the night I was attacked by Shawn, claiming he had business to attend to.

Then I got the phone call the next night from Shawn’s boss, claiming he’d been in a horrific accident. Apparently, he was on the roof of his apartment building and accidentally fell off, breaking both legs and one of his arms, along with almost every rib. And that didn’t include all the lacerations to his body and the concussion he suffered. I was shocked and my voice reflected that, but deep down, I knew who really did it.

IKE hadn’t been back since, and I wondered if that was because he was working on an alibi or because he couldn’t face me after he nearly killed my husband. I was still struggling to come to terms with how I felt about all that. No, I didn’t want anyone killing Shawn on my behalf, but after seeing Bowie in the hospital, fighting for his life and in so much pain, I couldn’t say I was sorry it had happened either.

“Isles, move your ass. Bowie needs to get through.”

“I told you, I’m fine. Stop babying me,” Bowie retorted.

I moved out of the way and smirked at Bowie as he passed, rolling his eyes at how my sister was acting.

She rushed after him, moving things out of his way as he struggled to work the crutches. “Maybe I wouldn’t baby you if you hadn’t fallen outside the hospital because you were too stubborn to use the wheelchair they offered you.”

“I told you, I don’t need help!” he snapped, spinning on her. But he lost his balance and crashed to the ground, shouting out as he landed on his bad leg.

We both rushed to him, trying to help him up, though he wouldn’t let either of us.

“Just back off! I’m fine!”

I slapped a hand over my mouth, desperately trying not to laugh as Bowie hauled himself up and Riley yelled at him over and over again for being so pigheaded. I wasn’t sure what I expected when Riley woke up in the hospital and found out what had happened. It sure as hell wasn’t her stomping down to his room to cuss him out for being stupid enough to push her out of the way and taking the brunt of the hit by the car.

“If you want to help, make me a fucking sandwich,” Bowie snapped.

“Fine, I will,” she retorted.

But as she spun around, Bowie grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into his lap, not caring at all that he was injured. I tried not to listen to the intimate conversation, but it was impossible.

“Are you okay?” he asked, running his hand along her jaw. “How’s your head today?”

“I’m fine,” she grunted in frustration.

“Seriously, tell me if you get a headache or?—”

“I’m fine,” she cut in.

But I knew she wasn’t. I heard the nightmares the last several nights. I knew that though the physical hurt was over, the emotional scars remained.

Not wanting to intrude, I slipped out the front and closed the door behind me. With Shawn out of the picture, I took the opportunity to sit on the front porch and enjoy my freedom. I put my foot on the railing, gently rocking myself back and forth on the swing, and as I glanced down the street, I stiffened at the sight of the gray car idling at the curb .

No. Shawn was in the hospital. There’s no way it could be him.

But if it wasn’t him, who else could it be? The car pulled away, turning in the opposite direction and taking off. I was so focused on the car that I didn’t even hear the other threat approaching until it was too late.

“Isla.”

His voice was a soothing balm on my nerves. After the night he stayed with me, I’d seen him outside every night, waiting to see if I needed him. I did my best to be strong—to not rely on him until I figured things out. I didn’t want to lead him on and think this was going somewhere until I was certain it could.

But the time had come to finally discuss the elephant in the room. One way or another, I had to make a decision. Pushing to my feet, I walked over to him, my heart hammering in my chest with every step I took. There was a huge part of me that just wasn’t sure I could trust him. It was all too fast, too much at once, and if I allowed him back into my life, he could crush my heart and make me regret ever knowing him. But as I looked up into his eyes, the only man I saw was the one I knew as a child.

Vulnerability shone bright in his eyes as he waited for me. I held out my hand, my heart slowing as he took it, and I said what my heart felt.

“I don’t know if I can trust you.”

He nodded, his eyes dropping to the porch.

“I want to, Kavanaugh. What we have…I feel this…pull to you. When I saw you in the grocery store, there was nothing more I wanted than to be with you. But I need to know that you won’t ever do that to me again. You broke something with us, and—” I stopped as my throat closed up. I didn’t want to cry. I just wanted to fix this hole in our relationship. “I can handle anything if I know the truth. Don’t break that trust a second time.”

He nodded. “I won’t.” His voice came out rough, but it was the dark circles under his eyes that really had me flinching. When was the last time he slept? With all the pressure on his shoulders with this job and with his father, I hadn’t even bothered to ask how he was holding up. Not that he had offered that information when I tried asking before. But now…

“I need to know everything.”

He nodded, his jaw hard as he stared at me. “Everything. I swear to you, Isla. I will earn back your trust.”

I glanced down at our hands intertwined and gave him a tug. He stepped forward, his hand sliding around my waist as he pulled me in for a hug. It was just like the other night—that peace I felt being in his arms. There was nothing quite like it. And the longer he held me, the more I knew I was right to trust him. We might not be fixed, but we were on our way there.

His hand cupped my cheek and he stared into my eyes. “I missed you, Red.”

“I missed you, too,” I said, lowering my voice to a baritone.

He cringed, pinching my ass. “Dammit, I’ll never be able to call you that again.”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with another nickname.”

“Let’s hope so. If I take you to bed and can’t snuggle you, you’ll know it’s all your fault.”

I opened the door and winked at him over my shoulder. “I’ll find some way to help you get past that.”