Hypothetical Heart (Farewell Fairwood #2)

Chapter 34

34

NOVEMBER

I f there is a single person who has no idea what they’re doing when it comes to cooking, it would be Winnie.

We've been home for the week on break for the past few days since Thanksgiving was yesterday. Tonight, my parents are at one of Mae’s basketball tournaments, and with an empty house, I thought it would be nice to have Winnie over so we could cook dinner together.

Except I realized very quickly that I could not multitask when one of the tasks was making sure my girlfriend didn’t cut her hand off while chopping vegetables. So, I had to call in reinforcements.

Genevieve shows up first, which makes Jameson come downstairs. Then Luke, and finally Eloise.

“Eloise, why did you bring food from the diner?” I ask as she walks through the door. “We’re making dinner. That’s the whole point of you coming over.”

“I thought I would bring some extra dinner just in case.” She smirks, kicking her shoes off and making her way into the kitchen.

Jameson and I quickly take over a large majority of the responsibilities, instructing Luke and the girls on what to do.

“Isn’t it scary how good your girlfriend is with a knife?” I jokingly whisper to Jameson.

“Isn’t it scary how bad your girlfriend is with a knife?” he counters, making us both laugh.

Jameson’s acknowledgment of Winnie being my girlfriend is something I’m still hung up on because it’s so new, and not just for us, but for them, too.

As I glance over at Winnie, struggling with the vegetables, I can’t help but smile at the sight of her concentration. It reminds me of the morning in the lake house when we told everyone we were dating.

Winnie couldn’t help herself, and the second we made it down the stairs

and into the kitchen, she announced to everyone, “Logan and I are together!” Before intertwining our hands.

The entire group erupted into cheers and teasing, nobody acting shocked, but the girls let themselves be giddy for Winnie’s sake, and Jameson—well, he gave me that look like he knew something big had just happened but chose to keep quiet. All I could do, though, was stare at my girlfriend and how she had looked at me with that smile—the one that told me she was just as happy about it as I was.

That same smile is on her face now, even while she fumbles with the vegetables, reminding me that no matter how simple or chaotic the situation, being with her always feels like the right place to be.

“I heard that.” Genevieve points the knife toward me. “And don’t think my boyfriend is the only one I can threaten with bodily harm.”

I hold my hands up in mock surrender. “ Point taken.”

“Hey, is it cool if I invite Briar?” Eloise asks, looking up from her phone.

“Yeah, that’s cool,” I reply.

“What?” Winnie asks, looking between Genevieve and me. “Why are the two of you giving each other that look?”

“Huh?” Genevieve asks.

“What look?” I say at the same time.

She rolls her eyes, hopping down from the barstool she has been sitting in, and makes her way around the island toward me. “I think it’s a good thing!”

Eloise gives Genevieve and me a look of pure fear as if she knows where Winnie is going with this. Except, there’s nothing anyone can do to stop the conversation from continuing.

“Now that Briar’s your girlfriend, she should be invited all the time,” Winnie says, and the room goes silent.

“ What?” Jameson and Luke both gawk.

“Oh,” Winnie winces, realizing what she just did. “Oh my God.”

My girlfriend and Eloise have matching faces of horror while Genevieve tucks her lips in, and I stand completely stunned.

“Briar’s your girlfriend?” Luke asks Eloise.

I stick my tongue in my cheek, trying to stop my mouth from falling wide open. “I want no part of this conversation.” I turn away, taking a few steps to the other side of the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry, Eloise.” Winnie’s sincerity is palpable, the same as her guilt.

Eloise accepts her apology, and I hear the sound of Winnie’s heels clicking closer and closer.

Her arms go around my shoulders, pulling my head down to her level. “Did I really just do that?” she whispers in my ear.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, kissing her temple. “You didn’t know.”

I lift her so she’s sitting on the countertop in front of me, almost at eye level.

“Winnie, really, I’m not mad. It was going to come out eventually,” Eloise tells her, seeing how upset she is.

“I didn’t realize it was a secret,” Luke gripes.

“It wasn’t!” Eloise groans, running her hands through her hair. “Or at least it wasn’t supposed to be. I didn’t–you know what? Forget it.”

“It’s fine, Wheezy, really.” Luke wraps an arm around her, messing up her hair playfully. “I’m happy for you.”

We all let out a sigh of relief, knowing this isn’t going to cause any type of fight. It’s always a good feeling.

So is being able to act so normal around Winnie, not worrying about showing too much affection as friends, or revealing my feelings accidentally.

Genevieve and Jameson are both holding measuring spoons, bickering about which ingredient goes in first. Eloise walks behind them, plucking the spoon from Genevieve’s hand and dumping it in for her. “There. Problem solved.”

We finish making dinner pretty quickly, getting all of the vegetables, potatoes, and chicken cut up and seasoned before putting it on the stove. After that, we migrate to the living room.

I open the back door that spans almost the entirety of the back wall, letting in the cold November breeze.

Briar has also arrived since we put dinner in the oven, plopping herself between Eloise and Genevieve. She contributes to conversations every once in a while but stays quiet for the most part, leaning into Eloise periodically.

“Our first semester is over in a few weeks,” Winnie says, looking around the room like she’s trying to commit this moment to memory.

I think we all are.

“It does not feel like it’s been six months since we graduated,” Eloise adds, falling back into the corner of the sectional.

“Speak for yourself,” Genevieve laughs as she leans back into Jameson. “I thought I was never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Well, we still have another semester until summer, so it’s not really the end of the tunnel.” My statement makes everything in the room feel colder, like the light breeze coming from the backyard is now an arctic snowstorm.

There’s something sad about the realization. The first few months away from each other have blown by, but we’re reminded every time we’re together how different it is. We no longer see each other every day or are a ten-minute drive from everyone at all times. It’s something we’ve chosen to avoid conversing about until now.

I’m transported back to all the times we spent in this very same living room when we were five, ten, twelve. And at every stage, we were able to look back and think, God, we were so young .

Now we’re here, and the future in front of us doesn’t feel like the one promised. It’s not something we’ve always known, not in the way Fairwood is.

In the wind that blows through the open door and the water from the pond we swam in as children, we are all still the same people we grew up with, just with a little more life built into us and a lot more memories to look back on. But all of them include each other.

I’m just hopeful that one day, when we’re older, we’ll be able to look back at the moment we’re in now and think the same thing: God, we were so young, and everything will be okay.

“It’s going to be okay,” Genevieve says like she can read my mind, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “This is just another phase of life, one we’ll accomplish together.”

A single tear makes a track down Winnie’s jaw as she sits on my lap. I don’t wipe it away. I want to memorize its path.

All of our eyes are burning as we look at one another.

Luke pulls an envelope out of his pocket, and we all snap our gazes toward it. “These are the prom pictures from the disposable cameras.”

Eloise laughs, but it sounds more like a strangled cry. “Perfect timing.” Right as we begin talking about how quickly time moves, Luke pulls out cold, hard evidence.

“Let’s look at them,” I suggest.

Everyone gathers around Luke as he breaks the seal of the envelope, waiting patiently for the first photo to be revealed. The pictures turned out great, and we let Luke do the honor of flipping through them one by one for the first look before we pass them through the group.

The first part of the stack seems to be the ones from the camera Winnie and I passed back and forth because I remember taking a lot of these.

“Aw, that one’s cute!” Winnie says, pointing at the one of me kissing her on the cheek on the dance floor after being crowned king and queen. Someone from the table must have snagged the camera to take the picture.

The photos transition to Jameson and Genevieve’s camera. The first picture is Genevieve holding the camera up and the two of them smiling giddily. There are a few more cute pictures, and then Luke flips to one that makes all of us gasp in horror.

Including Genevieve. “Oh my God!” She snatches the picture, tearing it in half.

Luke’s mouth is wide open in shock, and I’m guessing Winnie and I look the same way. Eloise is keeled over, her hands on her knees, trying not to laugh while Briar’s hand is on her back.

We all just saw Genevieve’s boobs. The realization makes me cringe.

“How—” I stop myself from saying something crass.

Genevieve stands from the couch, leaving the living room, and Jameson follows. This is not good.

When they’re finally out of earshot, Eloise can’t help herself. She bursts out laughing, making the rest of us laugh so hard that our stomachs are aching when Jameson and Genevieve come back.

She holds a hand out, stopping us from saying anything as she stands in the entryway of the living room. “Don’t make this any more embarrassing than it already is for me.”

We all nod like we understand, and the two of them take their seats on the couch again.

Again, Eloise can’t hold herself back. “I’m just confused?—"

“Eloise,” I warn.

“No, I’m being serious. I think we’re all wondering how in God’s name that happened!” We were all wondering, but Eloise is the only one willing to say it. Briar is sitting next to her, silent and stiff as a board.

“The cameras have x-ray vision capable of taking pictures through my dress,” Genevieve says sarcastically. “ How do you think it happened?” she then adds, like it’s obvious.

I mean, it is obvious.

“But that angle?” Winnie asks. “There’s no way you didn’t see the flash go off. I mean, where even was the camera?”

Genevieve puts her head in her hands. “We are no longer talking about this. I refuse.” Meanwhile, Jameson and Eloise look seconds away from laughing their asses off.

“I would advise you against showing any positive emotion toward this situation,” I whisper to Jameson. “You’d be giving Gen a great reason to test those knife skills.”

“There is still missing information,” Winnie sighs, looking between Genevieve and Jameson. “We’ve already seen the result, so why does it matter if we know how the picture was taken?”

“What do you want to hear? That we fucked in the school bathroom, and the camera accidentally went off while I was putting it in the front pocket of Jameson’s suit jacket?” Genevieve explodes, throwing her hands up.

“Less descriptions would have been great,” I cringe.

“I would have also preferred that,” Jameson adds, his sour face matching mine.

“I still can’t believe my camera was defiled like that,” Luke deadpans as if this has emotionally scarred him.

In all honesty, seeing my best friend’s boobs has likely scarred me too.

“Hey, on the bright side, at least you have that picture forever,” Eloise says, shrugging. “That way, when you’re really old, you can look back and say, Wow, my boobs looked great. ” We all laugh, baffled.

“Trust me, I’m keeping that picture forever,” Jameson says, and Luke and I both smack him in the back of the head.

The talk of Genevieve’s accidental nude simmers out, and the conversation moves to something much more normal. Luke puts on a movie, and the living room falls quiet for the most part.

About twenty minutes in, Winnie grabs my hand, pulling me up off the couch and out of the living room. “Can we go up to your room?” she asks in a hushed voice, already headed toward the entryway where the staircase is.

I stop in my tracks. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” she replies, but the look on her face tells me something isn’t. “Come with me.”

“Lead the way.” I motion up the stairs.

When we get to my bedroom, Winnie shuts the door behind us, letting out a breath as she leans her back against the door.

“Winnie.” I take a step toward her. “What’s going on?”

She looks conflicted, and I can tell whatever she’s thinking is making her uncomfortable. “I?—”

“Winnie,” I sigh. “Tell me, honey.”

“Have you ever seen my boobs?” she blurts out, like it’s been on the tip of her tongue, and she just gained the courage to say it.

“What?” My eyes widen to the point where I probably look terrified. She knows I’m just shocked.

Winnie has never been forward about this type of stuff. No sex-related topics have been broached between us, so for me, this is completely out of character for her.

“I just—” she stops herself, dragging her hands down her face while she takes a breath. “It makes me uncomfortable that you’ve seen Evie’s boobs if you’ve never even seen mine.” The truth shatters her face like a hammer dropping on a pane of glass.

“I’m not worried about that, Win.” I grab her hands to keep her from covering her face. I want to look her in the eye when I say this. “Seeing Gen’s boobs has nothing to do with you and me because she’s my friend and I don’t see her as anything but.” My biggest concern is her being worried that seeing my friend’s boobs makes me view Genevieve as more than that.

“I’m not worried about your feelings for Evie,” she replies. “I just don’t like that you’ve seen her naked before me.” I realize this isn’t about an insecurity of hers, it’s about the milestones of our relationship.

“I looked away as soon as I realized what the picture was, honey. It’s not like I got to examine it.” Winnie reaches behind her, not breaking eye contact as she locks my bedroom door.

“Well, then do me one better and get a good look at me ,” she whispers closer to my lips, stepping back as she lifts her arms.

Her tank top lifts, exposing her belly, and when her hands begin to pull up on the bottom hem of her shirt, I grab both her wrists to stop her.

“Win—”

“Do you not want to?” she asks even quieter, her face laced with hurt.

“No, no, no.” I move my hands to hold either side of her face. “Of course I want to. I just don’t want you to ever feel pressured. Whether I see you naked today or ten years from now doesn’t affect how I feel about you, Winnie, I need you to know that.”

“I know.” She nods strongly, like she never doubted me. “I want to do this.”

I gulp, nodding as the realization that I’m about to see Winnie naked sinks in. She finishes pulling the tank top all the way over her head, and I take it from her and throw it on my bed.

When I finally get to look at her, she’s wearing a pink lace bra with a little bow in the center and silk straps. It screams Winnie Carter. My entire being screams Winnie Carter.

I look up to meet her eyes and she has a light smile on her face. “Would you?” she asks, turning around so she’s facing the door.

I’m momentarily a statue, my feet rooted to the floor. I collect my composure, taking a step forward and placing my hands on her shoulders. “Beautiful,” I whisper in her ear, running my hands all the way down her arms and to her waist.

She leans back more, to the point where she’s almost lying against me. I use one of my hands to reach up and fiddle with the clasp resting against the smooth skin of her back.

“You’re perfect,” I say softly because I don’t need to speak volumes for her to understand my words’ meaning.

“You haven’t even looked yet,” she replies, looking down at herself.

“It doesn’t matter,” my voice cracks, raw emotion pulling me toward her like some kind of magnetic force. “Seeing you naked means nothing if I can’t hold you in my arms while I do it.”

Winnie reaches back, grabbing my arm to steady herself, and when I unclip her bra, the straps fall from her shoulders. She straightens her arms, and the bra falls to the floor.

I don’t make any move to get her to turn around because if she’s changed her mind, I want her to know that this is enough. She turns herself, her eyes meeting mine before I even attempt to travel further down her body.

Both our eyes are welled with emotion, being in this moment together, it’s something neither of us imagined possible for the longest time.

“Wow,” is all I can say, and then, “You’re breathtaking, honey.” when my eyes scan down her body.

I force myself to slow my eyes as they drift down, savoring every moment of her and taking in the view of her delicate breasts. They’re soft, natural, and–somehow–more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. Her nipples are peaked slightly due to the cool air surrounding us, standing out against her pale skin. My chest tightens, and not purely from lust, but from the intimacy of this moment. It’s not just her body that makes her desirable–it’s every part of her.

Her arms wrap around my neck, and without thinking about the fact she’s topless, I pull her into me. Her lips meet mine, and her back hits the door. It plays almost identically to the time she came into my room asking me to kiss her for practice a number of months ago.

After a few minutes of bliss, she pulls away breathless. “They’re going to start wondering where we are.”

“You’re right.” I pick her bra up off the ground, feeding her arms through it before grabbing her tank top off my bed.

Once she’s dressed, I kiss her again. “I’m obsessed with you.”

“I know you are,” she whispers back with our lips still touching, and in this instance, nothing else exists–only us.