I Blame the Rival (Taber Tigers #4)

22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Lacey

He said no.

Humiliation sweeps through me as I stare at the boy who just spent the last ten minutes kissing me.

“You… you don’t want to have sex with me?”

I’m still straddling his lap, so I quickly scramble off and press myself against the opposite door. Tears are threatening to make a reappearance, but I force them down, refusing to be the girl who cries about rejection.

Skylar doesn’t look at me, he just stares down at his lap, where I was moments before.

“It’s not the right time.”

“Since when do you get to decide when it’s the right time?” Anger and hurt fills each word.

“I don’t decide when it’s the right time, but I can tell when it’s the wrong one. And right now, it’s the wrong time. ”

I fall silent, staring at the dirty carpet in front of me. Trip must not vacuum her floors because it is atrocious back here.

“I’m not doing this to embarrass you.” He blows out a strained breath, “I’m trying to keep you from making a mistake. You know as well as I do that it’s never a good idea to make a big decision after an emotionally draining day.”

I scowl at the ground, hearing the familiar words of our therapist. Skylar leans over and tugs my pinkie, patiently waiting until I face him like a petulant child.

“You’re trying to rush into things because of your encounter with Jerrell today and that’s not a good enough reason to take the next step.”

“Jerrell has nothing to do with this. I want to have sex with you.”

Skylar sighs, “You’re not thinking about me right now. You’re thinking about your past and how you want to prove he didn’t hurt you as much as he did.”

My bottom lip starts to quiver as the truth of his words sink in.

“I don’t want to be broken anymore.”

“Everyone is broken, Flower. Some people just have a few more pieces than others.” He tilts his head, watching my reaction, “When we have sex it’s not going to be because you feel like you need to. It’s going to be because you want to.”

“But… what if that day never comes?”

He shrugs, “Then we find a different way to fog up car windows. ”

I pull my knees up to my chest and squeeze them tight. Everything he’s saying makes sense, but my brain is refusing to accept rationality right now.

“Can’t we just try and see what happens?”

Skylar closes his eyes and leans his head back against the headrest.

“Not for this, Flower.”

“Draw on me then.” I shove the words out of my mouth before the fear can sink in, “Like you wanted to. Use my skin like it’s paper.”

Heavy silence fills the car until Skylar opens his eyes and looks at me.

“You want me to draw on you?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t look away and soon a blush stains my cheeks, “Don’t say no again. Let me give you this one thing.”

“You don’t have to give me anything.”

“Don’t say no, Skylar. Please.”

My plea is what does him in.

“Okay.” He sighs, looking down at his hands, “Not tonight though. I want you to take a few days to think about it and if it’s still what you want then…”

Skylar swallows before looking at me. His irises are more contrasting than usual, the light one burning with quiet anger while the dark one smoulders with desire.

It’s as though his body can’t decide which passion to unleash.

“Then I’ll draw on you.”

My face splits into a beaming smile, “Really? ”

“Yeah.”

He sounds angry with himself and I can’t help but reach over and take his hand. Smoothing my thumb over his knuckles, I bend down to give them a kiss.

“Thank you, Skylar. I promise I’ll think about it.”

“Ta-da!”

Nico pushes through the door to his partner’s apartment and beckons me inside. By the time Skylar went back to work and Trip drove me home, I felt better but too emotional to be on my own tonight.

So, I asked my best friend if we could have a sleepover.

“Are you sure Mo won’t mind?”

Glancing around the apartment, I take in the state-of-the-art home appliances decorating the lavishly furnished bachelor pad. It’s no secret that Taber’s assistant coach comes from money but it’s still a shock seeing it up close.

“Maurice is on pizza duty. He’ll be home soon.” Nico throws my overnight bag on the granite tabletop and scoops me up, “Just wait until you see this man’s curved TV. It’s like watching a movie in virtual reality.”

I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck, “And you said you were only with him for his body. It’s been his money all along. ”

“Babe, he’s got the body and the money. Almost makes it worth the disgusting food he insists on eating.”

“Good to know my redeeming qualities make up for a healthy diet.”

The amused voice floats through the apartment and we both turn to see Taber’s lacrosse legend standing in the doorway.

Nico grins, “It’s not healthy if it would make a dog cry.”

Mo raises a brow, “It’s a good thing we don’t have a dog then, isn’t it?”

“The key word there is yet. We don’t have a dog yet .”

Laughter spills out of my mouth and Mo glances over at me with a warm smile, “It’s good to see you, Lacey. The guest bedroom should be all ready for you.”

“I still haven’t told him.” Nico whispers loud enough for Mo to roll his eyes, “He’s being replaced as my body pillow for tonight.”

My best friend sets me back on the ground before strutting over to his partner. The exasperated look on Mo’s face morphs into something softer when Nico plants his lips on his.

“Sorry babe, I’m abandoning you for my favourite girl tonight.”

“I’ll try not to be torn up about it.”

Nico throws his head back and laughs before stealing the pizza box from Mo’s hands.

“Did you remember to ask for extra cheese?”

“Did you remember the conversation we had about healthy eating? ”

Nico scoffs, waving the pizza box in the air like it’s proof the conversation never happened, “I do enough cardio not to worry about that for another ten years.”

I bite back a laugh, “Don’t you skip the cardio components at practice?”

Mo smirks, “He does, but he wasn’t talking about lacrosse.”

Oh.

My cheeks flame and I quickly look away from the men who clearly have no problem fucking on the regular. The familiar ache of despair rises up but I force it aside and follow Nico to the mahogany kitchen table.

To my surprise, Mo doesn’t take the seat at the head of the table. Pulling out a chair beside his boyfriend, he sits down next to Nico and steals a slice from the box.

I study him from across the table, watching the way his eyes roam over Nico’s face while his partner chats about his day.

Trip confessed to me once that she thought Mo should be on the cover of a GQ magazine and she’s not wrong. The expensive dress shirt molds to a muscular frame that’s impressive even for varsity standards while the masculine lines of his face accentuate the intelligence shining through pale blue eyes.

By all definitions, Maurice O’Brien is a very attractive man.

But I still wouldn’t pick him over Skylar.

“What would you like to do tonight, mi amor?” Nico captures my attention by throwing a piece of pepperoni across the table, “Tonight is all about you. ”

Shaking off the restless thoughts, I glance around the luxury apartment. There’s an endless supply of entertainment at my disposal, but the idea that comes to mind doesn’t require anything fancy.

“Actually, I was thinking maybe we could play some cards.”

“Done.” Nico snaps his fingers, “I just bought a bag of skittles that can work as betting chips. Maurice, go grab the cards.”

Mo raises a brow, “I didn’t realize this was your apartment, Montez.”

“Babe, quit being cute. We got a card game to play.”

He rolls his eyes and gets up from the table. I quickly clear the plates and by the time Nico is finished sorting the skittles into varying money chips, the rules of the game have been explained and everyone is dealt a hand.

It soon becomes clear that Nico and I are seriously outmatched. The careful calculations Mo puts into every move has it so we’ve both run out of skittles by the fifth hand.

“That’s it. Two against one.” Nico sniffs, standing up to join me on the other side of the table, “Team Redemption versus The Skittle Stealer.”

I laugh, reaching over to refill our skittle pile, “I don’t think it’s going to help.”

Mo smirks, “This reminds me of a pool game we played. Remind me, Montez, what was the outcome again?”

Nico lets out a growl and deals out the cards. Our combined strategies don’t help in the slightest and pretty soon we’re back in the same losing position .

“You couldn’t let us win one round?” Nico groans, dropping his head onto the table, “All I wanted was a red skittle. Nothing more.”

“It’s not winning if the other person hands it to you.” Mo gives his partner a pointed look and Nico flips him the bird.

“It’s a good thing I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom with Lace tonight. Otherwise, your ass would be on the couch.”

“Again, I return to the question: whose apartment is this?”

The scowl that used to stain Mo’s handsome features is nowhere to be found when he shoots me a grin. I laugh, feeling the irreplaceable warmth that comes from being surrounded by loved ones.

“He’s got you there, Nico.”

“Babe, you can’t take his side. Maurice never lets me live it down.”

Mo smirks, pushing back his chair to stand up, “Enjoy the guest bedroom tonight. I’ll enjoy having a bed to myself for once.”

“Liar.”

Ignoring his partner, Mo turns to me with a smile, “Have a good night, Lacey. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Mo.”

Nico pulls a face at his retreating back, “He’s in denial. He loves being my body pillow. That man is a fucking teddy bear come sunrise.”

“I can still hear you.”

Mo’s voice echoes down the hall and I laugh .

Grabbing my hands, Nico pulls me to my feet and leads me down the dark hallway until we reach the guest bedroom. It’s just as nicely furnished as the rest of the apartment, the dark blue drapes matching an equally tasteful bedspread.

“Now we won’t have to squish on those sad rectangles our university calls a mattress.” Nico grins, pointing to the king size mattress, “It gives you a new appreciation for comfort.”

“I bet.” Scoping out the rest of the room, my eyes catch the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, “Why don’t you use the bathroom first? I’ve got something I’d like to do.”

“Sounds good to me.” Nico grabs the fresh briefs lying on the bed, “Keep in mind the sacrifice I’m making for you tonight.”

“Not sleeping beside Mo?”

“Hell, no. I’m talking about the fact I’m putting a layer of material between my body and these silk sheets.”

I pull a face, “You normally sleep naked?”

“Have you seen the man I sleep next to? That would be an even bigger waste than these sheets.”

He throws me a wink and saunters out the door. Shaking my head with a smile, I take another glance at the time blinking back at me.

I pull out my phone and press the call button.

Skylar

My phone rings at the same time it does every night.

After the events of today, I honestly didn’t think she would call .

Pressing accept, I’m about to speak when Lacey’s voice echoes down the line.

“I was being selfish. Earlier today when we were in the car together. I was being selfish and I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“No, I do. You were right, Skylar. I wasn’t thinking about you. I was thinking about myself when I asked you to have sex with me and that’s not fair.”

There’s a shuffle of movement on the other end of the line and I can’t help but picture Lacey lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling like I’m doing now.

“It’s okay, Flower.”

“Stop being so nice. I’m trying to apologize.”

The frustration in her tone has my lips pulling into a smile.

“In that case, I accept your apology.”

“Good.” She blows out a breath, “Just so you know, I do want to have sex with you. I want to know what it feels like when you’re inside me. I want to experiment and try weird positions so we can figure out what works and what doesn’t. I want to do all of those things with you and only you.”

Each word has me clutching my phone tighter, the ache in my chest growing until it encompasses every fibre of my being.

I’ve waited my entire life for someone to see past the broken exterior and still want the messy parts inside.

I’ve waited my entire life to meet someone I was convinced didn’t exist.

And then my flower came along and proved me wrong .

“I want to do all those things with you too.” I falter, feeling the honest truth press against my tongue, “But if we rush into things I could hurt you. And if that happens I would never forgive myself.”

The thought of making Lacey cry, or worse, making her recovery process painful has resentment rippling through me. Shoving myself off the bed, I walk over to my desk and grab a fresh sheet of paper.

My fingers are shaking when I press the tip of my pencil down.

“You aren’t going to hurt me, Skylar. Do you know why?”

The lines I’m leaving behind are sharp and merciless, the cruel twist of my pencil tarnishing the white sheet in front of me.

“Because I trust you. I trust that you will do whatever it takes to make sure I’m comfortable, and I trust that if I told you to stop, that’s what you would do.”

My pencil slows to a stop, the harsh beat of my heart pounding in my ears.

“That’s the bare minimum a person should do for their partner, Flower.”

“Then you should have no problem surpassing my expectations.”

She’s smiling. I can hear it in her voice and picture it in my head. She’s smiling and here I am, destroying an innocent piece of paper because I’m terrified I won’t be strong enough to help her .

Fuck. I’m such a mess.

Crumpling the piece of paper in front of me, I blow out a breath and start afresh. I sketch the outline of Lacey’s smile, the untamed curls flowing over her shoulder and down her back. Colouring in the freckles and birth marks I’ve been able to find, I slowly create a silhouette of her body.

“Anyways, I should let you go. Nico will be back soon but I just wanted to get that off my chest.”

“I’m glad you called.” I hesitate, staring at the partial sketch in front of me, “About what we talked about earlier… don’t feel like you have to do something you aren’t comfortable with, Flower. Not for me.”

Silence falls on the other end.

Chewing my lip, I pass time by shading in the edges of her collarbone, carefully leaving space for the splatter of freckles that sits at the base of her throat.

“There’s no one else I would rather be uncomfortable for. Have a good night, Skylar.”

I blow out a breath, “Goodnight, Flower.”

Our call ends but my pencil doesn’t stop moving.

Losing myself in the piece before me, I sharpen the crease of her smile, brighten the colour of her eyes, and shade in the juts of her elbows and knees. Outlining the shape of her breasts, I leave her body bare except for the thin edge of her panties hugging the curve of her waist. I colour in the flowers lining the band of the panties I remember taking off, the delicate petals bringing a smile to my face .

That was a good day.

By the time I resurface, it’s long past midnight and my hand feels like it’s about to fall off. Flexing my fingers against the ache, I stare at the drawing, noting the intricate dance of her freckles. They creep along her body like landmarks, disappearing only in the places I haven’t explored yet.

Pushing back from my desk, I’m still thinking about those freckles when I notice the light shining under Vector’s bedroom door. I pause my trek to the bathroom, remembering the demons Lacey has had to face these last few days.

She’s so strong. So determined not to let the past drag her down. And here I am, hiding from the demons living in my own house.

Blowing out a breath, I turn and push open my brother’s door. He’s shirtless, lying on his bed with a textbook of some sort. I stare at the hard cut muscles running along his torso, the obnoxious six-pack rippling with every inhale and exhale.

“I know you’re still taking the steroids.”

I wait for the crash of anger to fill my system, but it never does. The only thing I feel is sorrow for the relationship we lost and regret for the boy who was forced to become a man.

Vector doesn’t look away from his textbook, “Let’s not do this tonight, Sky.”

“You broke your promise.”

“No. I didn’t.”

The first spark of anger hits and I take another step closer .

“You said you were going to get things under control before Taber’s home opener. You promised me you were going to be better.”

“Fine. You want to do this tonight? We’ll do this tonight.” Vector throws his textbook to the side and sits up in bed. His broad shoulders are completely in shadow, the only light burning from the fire in his eyes.

“I’ve only made two promises in this life, Sky.” He glares at me, “Do you know what those are?”

I glare back at him, “You were going to kick out dad.”

“And that’s exactly what I did.”

“And you were going to stop hurting people.”

“No.” Vector snaps his teeth together, “I never once promised that. I told you I was going to try and get a handle on my temper and you took that to mean I would stop taking the drugs.”

Fury barrels through my body as the silence that kept me in the dark all these years comes crashing down.

“You couldn’t control your temper when we were kids. How the fuck were you going to control it when you’re injecting testosterone into your ass every week?”

“I wasn’t planning on controlling my temper.” Vector grinds out the words, his darkening expression locked on mine, “I was planning on keeping my promise.”

“Bullshit. Everything you’ve done has been for yourself. ”

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” He snarls, pushing off the bed and striding towards me. I watch him with narrowed eyes, daring him to hit me.

Vector slows to a stop, his chest heaving as he stares down at me.

“I promised to protect you , Sky. I promised I would do anything it takes to keep you safe.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Jesus Christ, Sky. Look at you.” He growls, the ugly truth reflecting in his eyes, “How many times did you get bullied in junior high? How many times did people make fun of your eyes and the sketchbook you were always carrying around?”

I can’t breathe as I stare back at him.

“Did you think it was a coincidence the taunts came to an end in high school? That the same day I injured the biggest player on the lacrosse field was the same day people stopped picking on you?”

He lets out a bitter laugh, “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but once I saw the way people started to treat me, the way people started to treat you, I couldn’t go back.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Vector shakes his head, tearing his eyes away from my face, “I was trying to be your fucking hero. Do you know what I got for my efforts?”

Tears burn my eyes as the consequence of my actions finally catch up to me .

“I got treated like a villain since the first day I kept my promise.”

The regret spills onto my cheeks, streaming down my face as I stare at the brother I’ve shamed and avoided for the last four years.

I should have talked to him. I should have questioned his decisions more, not fallen back on the assumption he’s just like our father.

I should have known better.

“I’ve missed you.” Choking out the words, there’s nothing I can say to fix the mistakes we’ve both made, “I’ve missed you, Vec.”

“Come on. Don’t cry.” He groans, wrapping those large arms around me, “This is exactly why you got bullied in the first place.”

“Fuck off.” My watery laugh is muffled against his chest, but it doesn’t stop Vector from squeezing me tighter.

“I’ve missed you too, Sky.”

We stay like that, clutching each other for a long time. The pain in my heart doesn’t go away, but the tears on my cheeks start to dry.

And maybe that’s good enough for today.

Vector pulls away first, his oversized hands gripping my face tightly.

“I don’t break my promises, Sky. Even if you don’t like what I have to do to keep them. ”

I scan his face, looking for any sign of remorse. Any regret of the violence he’s unleashed to sustain a reputation.

There isn’t a single trace.

“I can’t come to your lacrosse games anymore. Not if you won’t put in the effort to get clean.” I swallow thickly, “It’s not fair to every other player on the field. Especially when you struggle with anger issues.”

Vector lets go of my face, studying me silently.

“I’ll work on getting clean if you start sharing your artwork again.”

“What?”

“Your art.” He says it slowly, like it’s the words and not the comment that has me confused, “I want to see it.”

I stare at him, waiting for the punchline.

Vector sighs, “Stop making this a big deal. You used to show me your projects and I would like to see them again.”

“Are you serious?”

“No. I’m joking.” He rolls his eyes, “Of course I’m serious, dumbass. Your girlfriend isn’t the only one who thinks you have talent.”

Warmth explodes through my chest as I smile at my brother for the first time in four years.

“I’m still not joining the track team.”

He grins, soaking in the happiness radiating through my features.

“We’ll see about that.”