I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter Seventeen

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

‘He has norovirus,’ the hotel doctor says, packing away his kit bag. ‘There’s no treatment. It should resolve itself in a few days. He’ll need to make sure he stays hydrated to replace any lost fluids. It’s contagious; I recommend just one of you checking on him.’

I glance at Duncan lying in his bed in the darkened room. He’s already moved from there to the bathroom several times this morning, his face pale and sweaty.

‘I can do it,’ Meredith pipes up next to me. ‘I can look after him.’

The doctor hands me his card. ‘If his condition worsens, please contact me, or call down to reception.’

‘Thank you,’ I tell him and see him out.

When the door is closed, Duncan groans.

Meredith looks my way. ‘You should focus on filming. Keep your distance. We don’t want you getting sick as well.’

I give a worried frown. ‘You’re sure? I feel guilty leaving him.’

‘He’s got me. We’ll be fine.’

‘Dunc, did you hear that? Meredith’s going to make sure you’re looked after.’

He groans again.

‘I’ll go out and get him some Gatorade,’ she says.

‘Message me if you need anything.’

‘You should go grab some breakfast from upstairs. That’s where the boys are at.’

I bid them both farewell, following Meredith’s instructions to get to the suite where all five members of Rebel Heart are currently having breakfast. If the past roughly forty-eight hours have taught me anything, it’s that it is very hard to get a member of a famous boy band on his own. I’ve drafted several dozen messages to Aidan’s phone, yet I’m too anxious to send any of them. He’s supposed to be my subject. I keep telling myself that it’s not appropriate that I should get personally involved.

I know I’ve reached the right suite when I hear raucous voices from outside. Since Aidan told me he liked my jeans, I’ve made a point of wearing them whenever I’m due to be in his presence, except this morning is the first chance I’ve had. The band travelled via a private jet from Sydney to Kuala Lumpur, whereas Duncan, Meredith and I, together with the tour crew, travelled on a commercial flight.

I give a loud knock and Bodhi answers the door.

‘Hey, Lexi, come on in,’ he says.

When I walk in, I note that Aidan’s eyes are on me immediately. All the boys wish me a good morning. Ziggy stands at the foot of the table, a coffee and a piece of paper in his hand, whilst I wander over to survey the breakfast buffet.

‘Right, schedule for today,’ Ziggy announces.

‘I got my underwear shoot,’ Miller cuts in.

‘We know!’ the other boys all groan in unison, Cal throwing a bread roll in his bandmate’s direction.

‘Aidey, Rav,’ Ziggy says. ‘You’re doing that Google autocomplete interview thingy.’

‘I can’t,’ Aidan says. ‘Lexi’s interviewing me today.’

I stiffen. I feel Ziggy’s eyes on me. ‘I thought Duncan was ill.’

‘He is,’ I respond. ‘But I can still set cameras and lights up on my own, you know, Ziggy. I have done it before.’

The boys all snigger. ‘Suit yourself,’ Ziggy says. ‘We’ll set you up with a room. Right, J.B., you can go with Rav then.’

J.B. looks irritated. ‘I thought I had to go with Caleb.’

‘Cal, can you handle a Malaysian TV interviewer on your own?’

Cal gives a shrug, stabbing a piece of pineapple with his fork and shovelling it ungraciously into his mouth. ‘You know me, mate, I can talk to anyone about anything. I’m sure I can manage.’

A crew member has helped me with the cameras and lights. I’m waiting by the windows in the king-sized suite for Aidan to make his appearance, whilst looking at a stunning view of the Petronas Towers.

I’m all alone. And I’m terrified. I know he’ll wonder why I haven’t messaged him.

My phone vibrates. I don’t recognise the number on the screen.

‘Hello?’

‘Lexi,’ a familiar voice says. ‘It’s Vaughn Herrera. From Silverpix.’

I swallow. If there’s one reason why I haven’t messaged Aidan, it’s calling me right now.

‘Mr Herrera,’ I greet him. ‘How are you?’

‘Please, Lexi, call me Vaughn. I wanted to check in with our most talented documentary filmmaker and see how our biggest project for next year is going.’

I bite my lip. ‘It’s good. Very good, in fact.’

‘Excellent, because I heard rumours of a possible rift.’

‘That’s all resolved now. Everything is fine. We’ve been getting some great footage.’ I don’t elaborate on what kind of footage, or how I obtained it.

‘The team here would really love to see some rushes,’ Vaughn says.

He wants raw footage. Footage that I’m absolutely not ready to share. ‘I realise that. I – I just feel I would want to present something more cohesive to the team, rather than just send hours of uncut footage through to you all. I’d like to be able to give it a narrative.’

‘And you will be able to, of course. In the editing suite.’

‘We were able to film the concert in Sydney a few days ago,’ I tell him, changing the subject. ‘Where Aidan McArthur stopped the music because a girl in the crowd had fainted. It was on the news, did you see?’

‘I did see something about it, yes.’ I hear him sigh. ‘Well, if you insist. I trust you’re handling everything. You’ve got your award-winning reputation to uphold.’

‘I do, of course,’ I say, and his words feel like a gut punch, because one wrong move with Aidan, and both my personal and professional reputation will be left on the floor in tatters.

Not long after I’ve hung up, there’s a tap at the door.

I know it’s him before I’ve even opened it.

My heart starts to clatter in my chest, the nerves taking over. I know I have to be honest with him.

I think of my mother. She would never have got carried away like this. Always be professional , she would have said. Don’t fall for the charms of a boy band musician five years younger than you, because it’s a foolish endeavour.

I grip the door handle and take a breath, and tell myself not to get swept up in my emotions.

When I open the door, Aidan McArthur stands in the corridor with a jaunty smile on his face. It’s hard to comprehend how striking he is. ‘Hi,’ he says.

‘Hi,’ I say back, unsure.

‘Can I come in?’

I open the door wider. He’s wearing faded ripped jeans, a navy T-shirt, and a plaid shirt tied around his waist. His hair falls into his eyes again. A hanger containing a fitted black shirt with no creases hangs from his fingertips. Aidan saunters inside and hangs the hanger over the side of the chair.

‘I asked Tun, the costume guy, to iron me a shirt.’

‘Right.’

‘How’s Duncan feeling?’

I can’t bring myself to look at him. ‘Norovirus. Meredith’s looking after him. Hopefully he hasn’t given it to anyone else.’

We’re quiet for a moment. In a matter of seconds, the atmosphere shifts. Suddenly my tongue is thicker in my mouth. Aidan wipes the back of his neck with his hand. ‘I feel like… do we need to talk?’ he says.

I nod. I can’t make eye contact. ‘Maybe we could do the interview first,’ I say. ‘Then talk later.’

‘I… I wondered if you got my flowers,’ he asks.

‘I got the flowers that Bodhi brought to my door,’ I say. ‘Yes.’

Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see him wince. ‘Oh, well I—’ he begins, before muttering sheepishly, ‘I didn’t really have time to go and get anything myself. I didn’t know it was your birthday until such short notice.’

‘We were leaving the next day. I had to tell the lady from housekeeping she could have them. I didn’t have a vase so I filled a sink with water.’

He bites his lip. ‘Right, I should have got you something different. You never told me why you hate birthdays.’

All I can see is Vaughn Herrera’s face, talking to me about upholding my glittering reputation. The fact remains that I’m female: I have to work harder in this field to earn the respect of a man like Vaughn. Is he going to be impressed if I fall for a member of a boy band? It’s the worse kind of cliché, surely, and he’d probably laugh me out of the room if anything came to light.

‘I have my reasons,’ I say, my voice hitching in my throat, because the look on Aidan’s face is creased with worry.

‘Did I… do something?’ he says. ‘I thought… did I misread something?’

It was easier when he hated me.

‘I just think I have to be careful around you,’ I say quietly.

‘What does that mean?’ he asks.

‘It means… I have to remain impartial. I have to do my job.’

He’s quiet for a moment. His voice alters when he speaks. ‘Maybe we should just get this interview thing out of the way then.’ It’s the same tone he used when he first met me.

I nod, because I know he’s right, but the pain of rejecting him sears my chest.

‘There’s a bathroom if you need to change,’ I say.

He’s already unraveling his shirt from his waist. He yanks off his T-shirt, and I’m given the tantalising view of his bare chest, the sight of it sending little blades into my heart. I watch him put the black shirt on, fastening the buttons, and it occurs to me that when I opened the door, I could have had him. One smile, or a single touch and I believe we could have crossed a line.

A line which just cemented into a solid brick wall.

Later that evening, before I go to bed, I check in on Duncan with the keycard Meredith gave me. Inside, he’s sitting upright in the bed, watching TV, a glass of water in his hands, balanced in his lap.

‘How’s the patient?’ I ask.

‘Thanks, aye, wee bit better,’ he says, his even baritone even lower than normal.

‘Meredith being a good nurse?’

He blushes. ‘Might have seen more than she bargained for. She’s witnessed me running to the bathroom to puke my guts up in my kecks.’

I conceal a smile. ‘I’m sure she appreciated the view.’

He looks embarrassed. ‘How you doin’? How was Aidan’s interview?’

I lean up against the wall next to the bathroom, because it seems like a safe enough distance. I can’t tell him that I’m grappling with emotions I’ve not experienced before, that I’ve been pacing in my room all afternooon.

I nod. ‘It was good. Solid.’

‘He say anythin’ interesting?’

‘He talked about the band’s initial break-up for a while. His tendency to be overprotective. Nothing controversial.’

The truth is that not once did Aidan look at me when he spoke. The entire experience was… strained. The more time I spend in his company, the more my stomach ties itself into knots.

‘Maybe you didn’t push him hard enough. You get what you were hoping for?’

‘Honestly, I’m not sure what I was hoping for.’

‘So what gives?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, why are you standing there, hoachin’ with the motherload of all sorrow?’

I straighten. ‘I am not.’

He looks me squarely in the face. ‘You like Aidan McArthur, don’t you?’

I don’t speak for some moments, looking to the floor, knocking my knuckles together. ‘What if I did?’

‘Then I’d be over the moon for you, Lex. What’s the issue?’

I shrug. ‘I mean… I didn’t come here to find a boyfriend. It could end in tears when Vaughn Herrera fires me from the project for inappropriate conduct.’

‘Why does he even need to know? You make the documentary. Your life outside of that ain’t his business. So long as you’re both into it.’

I stand there, unsure of what to say. I want to send a message to Aidan on my phone. Apologising.

Duncan puts down his glass and switches off the TV. ‘It’s like I said, Lex. One of these days… you’re gonna have to let a fella in.’

Sitting in my hotel room on the bed, my fingers hover over the keypad on my phone. My breathing is shallow. Duncan has a point. Despite my concerns, Vaughn Herrera has no business in my personal life.

Hey, it’s Lexi , I type out. If you’re not busy, can I meet you somewhere?

I pause before hitting the send key. If I go down this road, I’m not sure where it will lead.

I hit ‘send’, then for a moment have to put my head between my knees. Usually, when I meet a man, it’s because my colleagues have set me up on a blind date. I’ve never had this sensation of wild, fluttering butterflies in my stomach before.

The reply is almost instantaneous.

What’s your room number? I can come to you.

I send him my answer and promptly panic, hopping up and down into my skinny jeans and throwing on a black camisole. In the bathroom mirror I check I’ve got nothing in my teeth, and that my hair looks half decent. I spray a mist of perfume and walk through it.

The knock at my door makes the butterflies flutter away. They are replaced by full-on nauseousness.

When I open the door, he has the same jaunty smile on his face as he had before his interview. The smile that, by the time that very same interview was concluded, was nowhere to be seen. He’s changed into camo green cargo trousers and a grey T-shirt with a sports logo. ‘Hey. Everything alright?’ he asks.

I glance out into the corridor, left and right. It’s quiet. ‘I thought I could take you up on your offer to talk,’ I say.

‘Can I come in?’ he asks and I nod, opening the door wider.

‘Did you tell the others you were coming here?’ I ask once we’re inside.

‘I said I was gonna call my sister.’

I nod my head. He’s hovering close to me. I take a shaky breath and try to relax my shoulders. ‘I hate birthdays because I didn’t have any siblings and my mother wasn’t the most organised,’ I say suddenly. ‘When I was nine, I had to go to the childminder after school. She didn’t tell the childminder it was my birthday, and then when I got home presented me with a bottle of perfume and a picnic hamper from the Harrods Food Hall. Just what every nine-year-old girl wants. Every year it was something even more wacky than the year before. I still miss her though. And I should be grateful I got anything at all.’

He’s listened to everything I’ve said. ‘I’m sorry I got you flowers.’

‘They were beautiful, thank you.’

He takes a step closer. He slides his fingers in mine and holds my gaze. My heart gallops.

‘Next year, I’ll make sure your birthday is nothing short of spectacular,’ he says softly. ‘That’s a promise.’

I press my lips together. ‘You don’t know where life will take you this time next year.’

‘I have a feeling you’ll be there, wherever I am.’

I’ve lost all ability to speak. If I could melt into a puddle on the floor, I would. How is it that he feels the same way?

‘Can I kiss you?’ he asks.

I give a small nod and keep my eyes on his. He takes another step forward, and I place one hand against his chest. I feel his muscles flinch at my touch, a tingle shooting from my stomach through to my thighs and everywhere in between. My eyes close as he leans down and brushes a tender kiss against my mouth. My eyelids flutter open again to find Aidan is still looking down at me, inches from my face, his gaze darkening, his heated stare holding mine, his breathing laboured and uneven.

How is it possible we’ve ended up in this position? How is it he now makes every nerve ending in my body stand on end? And to add to my disbelief, it would seem Aidan McArthur feels the same way I do.

As if to echo my thoughts, he whispers, ‘I don’t know how this happened.’

There’s a flicker of a smile on my lips when I respond. ‘I don’t know either.’

His arms encircle my body then, pulling me forward to meet his chest, his open mouth finding mine hungrily. There’s no denying his passion, a low rumble coming from the back of his throat as any nervousness on my part melts away, and I fully meet the kiss. I lose my fingers in his hair, the movement emboldening him, causing his hands to find my waist, to nudge at the hem of my camisole and slide his fingers underneath. I kiss him with an eagerness I’ve never experienced with any man I’ve been intimate with, the flames of need beginning to lick my stomach, the desire coursing through me emerging from my lips as an enthusiastic whimper, which causes Aidan to break the kiss. His breath comes out in gasps and my heart is pounding.

‘When I said this morning, I have to be careful around you…’ I say, ‘I – I don’t want to be careful.’

‘I knew that if I kissed you, I wouldn’t be able to stop,’ is his response, and I know then, that he’s right.

Because after tonight, I’m sure I’m not going to be able to stop kissing him either.