I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter Thirty-Four

Palo Alto, California, USA

In the king-sized bed with pristine white linen, I yawn and stretch my legs. I’m staying in a luxury suite at Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel in Silicon Valley, my room overlooking a luxurious outdoor pool, the sun already spilling through the curtains. Vaughn Herrera has spared no expense for my visit.

I’ve not stopped thinking about Lucy Garrity. I thought about her for the entire eleven-hour flight to San Francisco from London. And – lo and behold – the story was on the internet the entire time. Even Meredith didn’t mention it, but Meredith is American and the coverage had been largely British. I thought I’d done every inch of research I could, yet now I feel blindsided, Aidan saying nothing to allude to the truth.

After my shower, I switch on the TV. Bypassing the standard hotel infomercials, I flip through the channels. I stop at the one that’s showing music videos. I don’t have to wait long for Rebel Heart’s new video to play.

The track is called “Last Night”. It has a pulsating, sexy beat to it, the video futuristic in style, all the boys dressed in wet-look outfits, pale sunglasses, shirts off as standard, abs rippling, a couple of girls clad in tiny dresses thrown into the mix. The song is electric. Aidan has heavy vocals. As he appears on screen, I feel warmth spread out from my middle. I’m still feeding off the memories of him naked in my bed, mostly when I find myself tossing and turning and unable to sleep, until a throbbing need requires gratification. His level of sex appeal is ungodly. At one point, Aidan is on a motorbike, one of the girls clinging to him from behind. I wonder if Taylor Wetherill is still sending him naked selfies, or how many women he’s been with since I left. The idea makes me sick with jealousy.

There’s a knock at the door. I snap out of my reverie. I get up, open it ajar.

Duncan stands waiting for me. ‘Breakfast?’ he asks. ‘Simone says she’s gotta make a phone call.’

‘You go down. I need a few minutes.’

Two hours later, I lose track of how many male hands I’ve shaken. And they’re all male. In the screening room, at Silverpix’s HQ in Palo Alto, Simone and I are the only females present. But my father is here too, having made the journey in the car from LA, sitting with me and Duncan in the front row. He’s my newest champion, and his presence gives me comfort.

At the back of the private screening room, in the projectionist’s booth, I wait for the tech guy to tell us everything’s ready.

‘Uh, Lexi, would you like to begin your introduction?’ an assistant wearing a suit says to me, pushing his glasses up his nose.

I wobble to my feet. All eyes are on me. Vaughn Herrera sits front and centre, his imposing frame taking up the entire seat. I recognise some of the other individuals from previous Zoom calls, mainly those from Silverpix. Today there are other faces too, from the boys’ management company, and the record company too. I wonder how many of them are judging me: questioning if I’ve crossed a line into unprofessionalism.

I raise my chin. I don’t care if they do question it.

‘Vaughn, gentlemen,’ I begin, trying to catch my breath. ‘Thank you for coming to the screening today. When Vaughn first gave me this job, I didn’t know what to make of the project. Dealing with live music and popular boy bands wasn’t something I was used to doing, and I was thrown in at the deep end. I had to tread water, and fast. It’s easy to forget that Rebel Heart is made up of five young men, all of them making their way in a world that none of us can ever really understand, not until we’ve walked in their shoes. Underneath all the hype, all the publicity, all the fans, in this documentary, I hope I’ve shown them as authentic human beings, navigating their way through the madness that is fame, finding love, but also having some fun along the way. I hope you enjoy my work. This is “Heartbeats”. Thank you for the opportunity to make this film.’

The men applaud. Vaughn Herrera stands, a grin on his face. He pumps my hand. When I sit back down, my father squeezes it.

‘I hate this bit,’ I say, pacing back in the hotel room, my palms sweaty. Dad is sitting on the bed, Duncan in a chair.

‘The Silverpix people seemed thrilled with it, Herrera especially so,’ Dad says, keeping his tone positive. Yet he wasn’t the only one to notice at least one person from the record company making phone calls in the middle of the private screening, before the documentary had even come to an end.

‘Do you think it was the language? Ravi coming out as gay? A more reputational thing they aren’t so keen on?’ I question Duncan, finding it hard to calm my nerves. ‘Oh god, what if they hated it? Am I damaging their brand?’

‘Herrera was singing your praises, Lex,’ Duncan says. ‘He thinks it’s going to be a hit. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.’

There is a knock at the door. I run over to let Simone in. My agent clutches her phone.

‘Well…?’ I ask before the door is even closed.

Her expression is grave. ‘Vaughn and the Silverpix team are absolutely ecstatic about it. They loved it. They can’t compliment you enough, as per usual.’

‘But,’ I say, my shoulders dropping.

Simone winces. ‘But… the management company wants some significant sections removed. They’ve made a list of changes they would like to see happen. They’re not supportive of the documentary in its current state. Silverpix has to concede to some changes; it’s part of the contract, though Vaughn is doing his best to strong-arm them into changing their minds. They don’t like the level of profanity, they’re unhappy with the nature of the secret filming, which they weren’t expecting, and they have significant issues with Ravi admitting to self-harming and coming out, particularly as they themselves were unaware of his sexual orientation.’

‘That was his preference. That’s how he wanted to do it.’

‘They’re not saying they don’t want him to be gay. They fully support his preference, but I don’t think they want him coming out in the documentary. I think they think that it’s a PR nightmare, and they would rather have some control over it.’

I sigh and rub my eyes. ‘But that messes with the entire narrative of love and relationships. I can’t just take it out.’

‘I think they were hoping for something a little more…’

‘What?’ I snap. ‘ Family friendly? If they wanted that, Vaughn should have hired some other stooge. You know as well as I do, that is not how I work.’

‘Let’s wait until you have the list. I’m sorry. We knew this was the risk.’

I look to my father.

He shrugs. ‘Why do you think I stopped making movies?’ he says, and my heart sinks.

Whilst Simone waits for the list of changes, Dad and I take a drive, and I drag Duncan along with us for the ride.

‘Where are we going?’ Duncan asks.

I’ve already briefed Dad on where to take us. He drives us south in the late afternoon sunshine until Duncan spots a sign for Saratoga.

‘Ach, Lex, no, come on,’ he says sourly in the back seat.

‘What? I told her to message you and she told me you never reply.’

‘Just because everything is messed up in your love life, doesn’t mean you get to mess with mine.’

‘Have you forgiven her yet?’

‘Has Aidan forgiven you ?’

‘This isn’t about me and Aidan. Why haven’t you replied to her?’

He crosses his arms. ‘Just. ’Cause. She’s in California. I’m in London. I don’t need any other reason.’

‘Fine, can you at least forgive her?’

‘Does she know we’re coming?’

We’re entering a residential area with well-kept roads and neatly trimmed grass verges. ‘I might have said I’d drop by. I didn’t mention you were coming too. If you really don’t want to see her, we can drop you at a coffee shop.’

He looks out of the window and sulks. ‘Fine.’

‘Which is it? Coffee shop or Meredith?’

He glowers at me. ‘Meredith,’ he says quietly.

Dad pulls up outside the house and kills the engine. It’s a beige and white property, set back from the road, with a covered porch.

‘She deserves someone better than me, like,’ Duncan mumbles.

‘That’s not true.’

‘What do I say?’

‘You could start by forgiving her.’

His eyes are already on the house. I see his throat working. When he gets out, he wipes his palms on his jeans. He’s wearing a fitted black polo shirt.

Meredith comes out of the house before he’s even reached the steps up to the porch. Her expression registers surprise before she breaks into a smile. She stops on the top step. Duncan walks towards her, walking up the first three steps until their faces are level. Their actual height difference is adorable.

I witness a split second of trepidation, Duncan first clutching the back of his head with his hand. Meredith seems to wipe tears away before Duncan reaches up and wipes them for her. He says something, holding her cheek, before sweeping her into an embrace. She clings to him, and my heart swells.

‘Are we going in too?’ Dad asks.

‘Yes,’ I murmur, happy with the results of my efforts, yet there’s a sadness still inside me. ‘Just give them a minute.’

Two days later, Duncan and I fly back from California on a night fight. By the time I make it back to my empty flat, my body clock is haywire.

I try hard not to feel dejected. I anticipated that there would be requests to alter the final version of the documentary, only not as significant as the changes the management and record companies have proposed. The list is long, and I don’t relish the idea of returning to the editing suite with Rocky.

Lawyers are involved. Vaughn Herrera and Rebel Heart’s management are butting heads. Simone instructs me not to do anything yet. So, I sit tight.

We’ve been back in the UK less than twenty-four hours when Duncan sends me a message: Rebel Heart appearing on Fierce Females tomorrow. You should watch. I’ll be filming them :)

The following day, at lunch, I curl up on my sofa with a hearty bowl of pasta, switching on the TV, to my surprise only seeing three members of Rebel Heart introduced on the chat show: J.B., Cal and Ravi.

‘Miller’s got man flu, so he’s crook,’ Cal explains on screen to the older female presenters, who all seem to fawn over his Aussie charm. ‘Aidey’s got a family emergency. I promise you, as a band, we are not breaking up.’

Cal goes on to keep the audience amused, J.B. burying his head at one point, his French accent like melted chocolate when he says, ‘This is the level of sophistication I have to deal with.’ Ravi has everyone laughing at tales from their world tour, answering all the presenters’ questions with panache.

When the segment is over, I send Duncan a message. Is that true about Aidan?

Duncan replies, Must be. He isn’t here today. No sign of Miller either. Or Ziggy.

I switch off the TV, wondering what to do with the remainder of my day, feeling at a distinct loose end.

I’m staring at the contents of my open fridge when the door buzzer sounds.

I press the intercom. ‘Hello?’

‘Lexi,’ a familiar American voice says. ‘It’s Bodhi.’

‘ Bodhi? ’ I echo in surprise, picturing the security guard’s kind face, for a moment wondering if I have the right person.

‘Would you mind coming downstairs, please?’

‘Sure, of course,’ I say.

I feel my heart racing all the way to the ground floor. Aidan hasn’t appeared on the talk show. Maybe he’s had other ideas. Maybe he wants to talk.

I open the main door to the building, to find Bodhi grinning at me. On the other side of the street, an unmarked black van is parked.

‘Hey, Lex, how ya doing?’

‘I’m good,’ I respond, giving him a hug. ‘How are you? This is unexpected.’

‘I got someone here to see you.’

My gaze transfers to the van, my stomach flipping over several times in a row, wishing I’d put on a layer of make-up before making my way downstairs.

Except Bodhi says, ‘Miller wants to talk to you.’