I Really Can’t Stay (A.R.’s Holiday Standalones #1)

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

A loud bang from the slamming of a car door rouses me from a restful sleep, and for a moment I forget I’m in a strange man’s bed… at his parents’ house . Sitting up, I stretch and yawn as the aroma of cinnamon rolls and coffee waft into my nose, and a smile graces my lips. It’s Christmas morning, and while a devastating sense of sadness has embedded into my heart, the familiar feeling of excitement and wonder sits beside it, as though it’s an old friend there to comfort.

Tossing the curtains open, a fresh blanket of sparkling white snow covers the ground, and from this angle I see a shiny red truck in the driveway that wasn’t there before.

Muffled voices draw from downstairs, greetings and laughter, and I can’t help but wonder who it is. Not that it’s any of my business—I’m merely an overnight guest, but still, curiosity gets the better of me.

Cracking open the door, I’m happy to find my clothes neatly folded and waiting for me on the ground, so I scoop them up, then close the door as quietly as I can. Seconds later, I’m redressed, slipping out of the bedroom. Tiptoeing to the bathroom, I close that door behind me, too.

Using my fingers, I try to manage my messy strands of hair and run my fingers under the water to clean up the makeup that smeared beneath my eyes. Pinching my cheeks, I attempt to add some color to them, wishing I was one of those girls who kept a small makeup bag in their purse. Finally, I look down at the counter, and am overjoyed to find a brand new toothbrush sitting next to the toothpaste.

Goodbye dragon breath.

When I’m ready to face the crowd downstairs, I give myself one more glance and know it’s as good as it’s going to get. The voices become louder as I start down the stairs, and I hear Tina saying, “Oh, I think Holly is awake.” It sounds like she’s in the living room, and when I round the corner, Lincoln meets me halfway.

“Good morning. Sleep well?” There’s a cup of steaming hot coffee in his hands and I eye it, hoping there’s more in the kitchen for me.

“I did, thank you. And thank you for washing my clothes last night. I appreciate it.” I smile and glance down at the floor, pulling away from the heaviness of Lincoln’s gaze.

Lincoln stares at me like he is waiting for something else, then smiles. “One tradition we have is our family gathers together on Christmas morning to open presents. Things have changed over the years, but my cousin still lives close by, so he’s joining us this morning. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not! I’m the one crashing your Christmas festivities.”

“Not crashing, you were invited. Let me introduce you.” He nods toward the living room. Placing his hand against my shoulder, he guides me around the corner.

Lincoln’s cousin has his back to me, but Tina sees me immediately and smiles. Realizing her attention is elsewhere, Lincoln’s cousin follows her line of sight, turning, and it’s like everything happens in slow motion. I gasp, and the smile on his face drops as he takes me in, recognition immediately registering.

It’s him.

Miller.

A single letter forms on his lips, and I know I have to stop him from saying my real name.

I can’t believe I told him my real freaking name.

“Hi! I’m Holly, Holly North. Holly North! That's my name!” Rushing toward him, I extend my hand and hope the frantic plea in my eyes is enough for him to not question me.

Cocking his head to the side, his eyes narrow, but a smirk plays on his lips as he assesses me.

Taking my hand, he nods slowly.

“Holly, is it? I’m Miller. Miller Ryan.” I can see the questions floating through his mind, but to my relief, he doesn’t ask them aloud.

“Nice to meet you!”

“Am I really that unmemorable?”

My heart plummets.

With his question, Lincoln’s head snaps in his direction.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” There’s an edge in Lincoln’s tone as he looks between me and his cousin.

“Last night, Holly here,” he juts his thumb in my direction, “wandered down to the tree farm, and had her very own boxing match with my inventory.” He turns to face me again. “How’s that ankle?” I’m surprised to see concern swimming in his gorgeous brown eyes.

Through gritted-teeth, I steal a glance at Lincoln, then turn back to Miller. “Much better. Thank you again for the ice.”

“So that’s where you ended up last night?” Lincoln questions, his lips turning down in a frown. Crossing his arms over his chest, he eyes Miller, shaking his head.

I wish I could read his thoughts.

“Oh, at least she was in good hands!” Tina chimes in. Whether she notices the tension in the room, she doesn’t say, but her timing feels intentional. Like she’s providing back up, saving me from the shade these two are throwing at each other.

Knowing I need to fix this, I turn my focus to Lincoln.

But not before realizing Miller’s still holding my hand in his.

Dropping it, I step away. “Yes,” I explain. “I saw a tree farm on my way here yesterday, and when I started to walk, my subconscious took me back there. And because I am, well, me, I ended up tripping over an extension cord. That’s how I hurt my ankle.”

“Understatement of the century,” Miller mutters under his breath, and Lincoln’s gaze snaps back to him.

“Elaborate,” Lincoln says flatly.

“What Holly's left out of her story is when she tripped, she took five and a half trees down with her.”

“I did not take five and a half trees down with me. How do you take down half a tree?” Crossing my arms defiantly, I glare at him, which only makes him grin wider.

“I caught it, remember?”

I let out an annoyed huff, then toss my hands into the air. “All right, there you have it, Stokes family. Holly North is a giant klutz.” I laugh, but it comes out a little manically.

Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, then how can you handle when other people laugh at you?

Suddenly, I’m fighting back tears. Looking up at the ceiling, I blink several times, desperate to not let them fall.

“Holly, can I get you a cup of coffee?” Tim holds up his own cup and gives it a little shake. “I’m about to refill mine.”

“That would be amazing, thank you.”

“How do you take it?”

“A little coffee and a lot of creamer, please.”

He chuckles, then heads to the kitchen.

“So, Holly, I’m not sure if Lincoln has filled you in, but one family tradition we have is to open presents on Christmas morning, then we have a light breakfast. This year I made homemade cinnamon rolls. How does that sound?” Tina loops her arm through mine and guides me over to the couch where a stack of presents sits neatly wrapped in brown gift paper with sparkly red and green bows.

My eyes widen at the sight. “This isn’t for me, is it?”

“Of course it is!” Tina looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “Now, we didn’t know too much about you, but being a woman myself, I was able to make some educated decisions about what you might like.”

“This is far too generous.” A fresh swell of tears lines my bottom lashes, and I suck in my bottom lip to keep from having a complete breakdown.

“Nonsense!” She picks up one of the smaller gifts from the top of the pile and thrusts it into my hands.

“I brought gifts as well, but nothing like this. I can’t believe you did this for me.” I feel awestruck and like my gifts are insignificant. They’re just trinkets from the gift area at my work. Nothing special. Nothing like the mountain of gifts sitting in front of me.

“Holly, trust me, it’s not so much for you as it is for her.” Tim extends my coffee cup, laughing. “Tina has a bit of a shopping problem.”

She smacks her husband against the chest with the back of her hand. “Oh, you shush!”

Wrapping his arm around her, he pulls her close and kisses the top of her head.

From across the room, Miller watches the exchange with fascination, his eyes never leaving mine for long, despite being engaged deep in conversation with his cousin.

Lincoln’s back is to me, but by the way Miller occasionally nods his head, I assume Lincoln is trying to sell him the story of me being his holidate.

I can’t believe this is happening.

“Come, sit boys,” Tina singsongs, patting the couch next to her.

Both men look at each other one last time, seemingly communicating without words, then they cross the room. Miller takes the spot where Tina’s hand just was, and Lincoln comes to sit by me.

“Alright,” she continues. “Just like when you were little! Have at it.”

Lincoln leans over and whispers, “That essentially means it’s a free-for-all. Go ahead and open your presents.” My breath catches in my throat when he presses a kiss to the side of my head before straightening and taking a gift from his pile.

From my peripheral, Miller stiffens.

Looking up at Lincoln, I nod, trying to push the lump from my throat. My heart’s hammering in my chest—so scared that Miller is going to out me at any second, and Lincoln and I will have to do some serious damage control.

Although part of me already suspects that Tina knows this relationship is fabricated.

There’s another weight sitting on my chest—the one that doesn’t want to hurt Miller.

Which is crazy . I don’t even know him! But I want to. A flicker of something ignited in me last night, and I have a never-ending freefall of questions zinging through my mind, along with an undeniable attraction to him.

Ten minutes later, all the presents are open. Scattered around the floor and furniture is the discarded wrapping paper and bows, and a heaping pile of goodies sitting in front of each of us.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you would be here, Holly , or I would have brought you something.” Miller leans back against the couch, extending his denim covered legs wide in a relaxed position. Lifting his arms, he clasps his hands behind his head and tries not to smile.

“I wasn’t supposed to stay. But my ankle would have made it very difficult to drive back to the city.”

“You live in San Diego?”

I nod. “On the outskirts.”

He says nothing, but I can practically see the cogs of his mind working as he watches me like a predator watches their prey.

“Nice to see you were able to spend the night.” Miller turns to Lincoln. “It’s been a while since you’ve been up here.”

“The hospital’s been demanding, but I was just here for Thanksgiving. Or have you forgotten already?”

“Haven’t forgotten. How could I?”

My head volleys, following them as they converse. It’s clear there’s some sort of tension between them, and I’m very curious what it is.

Is it me? Am I the problem causing strife between them?

Not everything’s about you, Zee.

Tina sighs dramatically, then goes into the kitchen without saying a word. Tim grabs ahold of the remote and turns on the TV, choosing to ignore the squabble that is happening right across from him.

But I can’t look away. Which proves to be dangerous when both men turn their attention to me at the same time.

“Holly, can I get a word alone?” they say in unison, word for word, serious expression for serious expression. As they turn to each other with scowls, a horrifying panic strikes me in the center of my chest.

Knowing my loyalty needs to be with Lincoln, seeing as I’m his fake-girlfriend and all, I stand when he does, and follow him from the room.

He’s silent as he leads me to the back porch and closes the door behind us. Without my jacket, I immediately begin to shiver.

“Did something happen between you and my cousin last night?” Lincoln doesn’t waste time beating around the bush. His voice is practically a bark, but surprisingly doesn’t hold an accusation within his question. His gaze softens slightly when he sees the surprise written all over my face, especially when my jaw slackens.

“I…what? Seriously? I wasn’t even gone long enough for anything to happen! I tripped and fell. He got me ice for my ankle. I waited a few minutes until it felt okay to walk on, then I came back. End of story.”

“Holly, I have no claim over you.” His voice is low and silky. “If something happened between you two, I’m not upset. I just need to know so we can get our stories straight.”

“Why does it matter? I’m going to be leaving in a few minutes anyway, and then none of you will ever have to see me again.” Great, that just made me sound guilty, when I haven’t done anything wrong.

“It matters because I know Miller better than I know myself.”

“Okay?”

Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I try to bring some warmth back to my body, and eye the back door. Why do we have to do this outside? Where it’s freezing? And where my jacket isn’t?

“I haven’t seen him look at a woman like he looked at you since we were teenagers.”

“What's that supposed to mean, Lincoln? Stop talking in riddles because I’m not going to figure it out. Not when my body’s shutting down from hypothermia.”

“He wants you, Holly.”

A nervous laugh rumbles from my lips. “Oh my gosh, you have got to be kidding me! We spent maybe ten minutes together last night, half of which I was lying on the ground in utter embarrassment. And the other half was with ice on my ankle! You’re insane if you think he wants me.”

“No, I know I’m correct. Look, I’m under no illusion that you’re my girlfriend. Obviously, this is just for show, and while I truly appreciate what you’ve done, I also know when I am being friend-zoned. You friend-zoned me from the moment we met at that coffee shop. Which is completely fine, I’m not interested in being anything other than friends, but now Miller is involved. And I think he’s interested in you. I’d put money on it.”

“I don’t even know him. We met for ten minutes,” I repeat as a shiver overtakes my body. Lincoln steps forward and rubs his hands against my arms.

“I know. But I can tell by the look on your face that you’re interested in him, too.”

“Oh, Jesus. I’m here with you. And your audacity is quite large, my friend .”

Lincoln laughs, but ignores me and continues singing his cousin's praises. “Miller is a standup guy. Loyal, family oriented. He’s also incredibly selfless, and these last several years, his family has needed him. And he’s put them first.”

Am I on a secret dating show right now? What the heck is happening? “Why are you telling me all this, Lincoln?”

“Because in the last twenty-four-ish hours of getting to know you, I’ve learned you are the type of woman I’d want to bring home to my mother.”

A nervous giggle erupts from me. “Didn’t you?”

“Yes, but maybe this is bigger than the two of us. Maybe I didn’t bring you home for me.”

A pregnant pause lies between us. Through the small window in the porch door, we see Miller standing at the kitchen counter, talking to his aunt. They’re smiling and laughing, and as she reaches up to his face, for some reason, I envision them as younger versions of themselves, and I feel like I’m encroaching on a memory.

“This is a lot. I’ve literally only known you and your family for one day.”

“I’m not trying to creep you out.”

“Well, you are. This is way too much. You literally brought me to help you, and now I feel like I’m being sold off to your cousin.”

He laughs, shaking his head wildly. “God, no, Holly! That’s not at all what I’m trying to do.”

It’s what it feels like, buddy.

Glancing at my watch, I use the time as a method of escape. “Look, I should probably get on the road.”

Truth be told, everything feels awkward. A little unsettling.

“At least have breakfast first, and a cup of coffee.” He tips his head at the coffee cup in my hand that I haven't touched yet. It’s no longer steaming.

“I’m in the Twilight Zone ,” I murmur.

“I’m so sorry. I can tell I’ve made you uncomfortable. That’s not my intention. All I wanted you to know was that if there is something, some sort of spark, or even just a physical attraction with my cousin, there will be no hard feelings.”

“And with your family? How on earth would we explain that?”

Lincoln shrugs. “I guess we would just need to come clean.”

“They’d hate me. Not to mention this is so hypothetical it isn't even funny.”

“I know. Let’s just go inside and have some breakfast, then you can get on the road. Trust me, you don’t want to miss my mom’s famous cinnamon rolls. They’re just as good, if not better, as that Julian caramel apple pie we had last night.” He playfully pokes his elbow into the side of my ribs.

“I don’t know,” I muse sarcastically. “I believe you, but that apple pie was something else. I’m kind of sad all the shops will be closed, and that I can’t take one home.”

“I’m staying up here another day—I found coverage for my shift. Do you want me to bring you one when I get back into the city?”

For a split second, I contemplate his offer. The pie was that good. “No, that’s nice of you to offer though.”

“Well, you know how to reach me if you change your mind. It’s the least I can do.” Moving to the door, Lincoln opens it and gestures for me to walk in front of him.

The moment I step through the doorway, my eyes connect with Miller’s, and my heart shudders. Blowing out a shaky breath, I remind myself that I’m here to be Lincoln’s girlfriend. The ruse is almost finished. The only thing standing between me and a successful last holidate is a pastry.

I can do this.

Though the way Miller is looking at me is making my insides as gooey as a cinnamon roll.