I Won’t Be In On Monday (The Annoying Hot Bosses Club #3)

Chapter 2

Chapter Two

R emington

My world is literally crashing down around me, and I don't know what to do. If aliens suddenly appeared in my office, I wouldn’t be shocked. Such is the undeniable and almost unbelievable world I currently find myself in. An acrid smell of burned buttery popcorn fills the air, and I remind myself to tell HR to ban staff from making popcorn in the office.

“That’s not going to fix your issues,” I mutter, as if giving myself a pep talk is going to help extricate me from the deep, dark trench I now find myself in.

I'm attempting to pretend that everything in my life is the same, but it’s not really working. Even though I had Juniper send flowers to multiple random women, the joy was no longer there. I’d even felt that my teasing and joking around with her had felt off. Everything that has been constant in my life is changing, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

I open the email from DNA TESTS FOR ALL one more time and stare at the screen. The results were in. I was the father.

I am the father.

Fuck.

I am a father.

A daddy.

My sperm went swimming and jumped into a rocket.

"How on earth did this happen?" I mutter to myself as I shake my head. Quick flashes of hot sex cross my mind, and I groan. Okay, so I knew how it happened.

“I’m a dad.” I sound out the foreign words and shudder. “I’m a dad to a seven-year-old girl. A seven-year-old. I don’t even know anything about kids, and I certainly don't know how to be a dad to a seven-year-old who can talk, walk, eat, spit, and tell me that they hate me all at the same time." I take a deep breath and reach for my phone and call Kingston. I’m not sure who else to unburden myself on. The gravity of the situation is hitting me like a ton of bricks.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He sounds casual, like he doesn't realize my world is ending.

“Everything and nothing.”

"Remy, what's going on? You okay?" he asks. “You sound weird.”

"Not much going on here. Just in the office, doing some work and going through some emails."

"Good, good. You want to tell me about a case, or what?"

No, dipshit.

"I'm the dad," I say, letting it out dramatically, like I was Shylock on a stage at the Globe.

"I see.” He pauses. “But you kind of knew that, right?"

"She said I was the dad, but I didn't officially know."

"But didn't you have..."

"Okay, so I did three other blood tests and all of them said I'm the dad. I guess now that I have another test, I have to face it. It’s super official. I’m a father.” A motherfucking father. It should be illegal.

“And that makes you excited, right?"

"Does it sound like it makes me excited? Does it sound like it makes me ecstatic and over the moon?"

"I mean, I wouldn't say that exactly, but you don’t know just?—"

"What am I going to do? My whole life plan has centered around me being a bachelor for life. Now, I have a kid." I groan loudly. “A seven-year-old kid.”

"Your kid has a name," he says, sarcastically.

"I don't even want to think about the name. Right now, it's an it to me."

"But your daughter is not an it."

"But nothing, Kingston. If I think about the fact that I made a human being that is real, and it’s a little girl, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown."

"Did you have a nervous breakdown when you were having sex?" he says slyly. And I glare into the phone as he chuckles.

"I do not need your jokes right now, Kingston."

"I'm just saying that what's done is done, and now you need to step up as a man and take care of your little girl. By the way, Skye wanted me to tell you that she's open for babysitting anytime you need some help."

“That’s very generous of her. Tell her I said thank you," I say, closing my eyes. "Can she move in with me for a few months and be?—”

“Very funny.” His voice is gruff. “Skye is being generous and sweet, but don’t start getting any ideas.”

“I’m not getting any ideas. Keep your panties on. You know what? I’ve got to go. I'll talk to you later." I hang up before he can say anything else. I jump up and pace back and forth in the office. I stare at the legal files on my desk, the law books on the bookshelf next to the desk, my Harvard undergrad and law school diplomas, and I just shake my head. I'm screwed , I think to myself. I am screwed. I have a little girl.

I pause as I say the words out loud. “I have a little girl.”

My stomach drops.

I have a daughter. I was the last person who should be a father to a little girl. A seven-year-old little girl named Canyon.

Canyon Parker. I lick my dry lips nervously as I think about meeting her.

Will she like me? Will I like her? I know absolutely nothing about kids. Do I need to buy her a bunch of Barbies? Or puppies?

My throat feels raw, and my face is hot. There’s a tenseness in my shoulders that I haven’t felt in years. I run my fingers back and forth across the table, allowing my fingertips to caress the grain of the solid wood.

“You have no more excuses, Remy,” I tell myself as I grab my phone and make the call I’ve been dreading for the last couple of weeks. Perspiration beads up on my forehead as I listen to it ringing. Maybe the number will be disconnected and all of this is a bad dream.

“Hello.” There’s a soft, stilted voice on the other end. “Remington?”

"Hey, Karen," I say and close my eyes. Darkness envelops me, and I can hear the sound of the desktop purring.

"I was wondering when you'd call."

"Sorry about the delay. I was just?—"

"You were just freaking out because I told you you have a daughter?" she says, and I let out a deep sigh.

"You have to admit you just sprung this on me. You could have prepared me. You waited years to let me know."

"Really? I wasn't even going to tell you now, Remington. I knew how you would react. We had a one-night stand. I knew you didn't want anything serious and that you wouldn't want to know that you got me pregnant."

"You don't know that."

"You slept with my roommate the following week. You ended the longest friendship I’ve ever had."

"I didn't realize that she was your best?—"

"Yes, you did. You met her at my apartment," she snaps.

“I’m sorry. That was a dick move.”

“Yep, it was. It really was.”

“So, how is Sunshine doing?" There's silence on the other side of the phone. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up the ex best friend.

"Really, Remington?"

"Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have asked."

"Her name wasn't Sunshine. It was Sun Valley."

"Oh, yeah," I say. "Sorry." Like it really matters.

"It's fine. You only slept with her once, too."

"You know, I am not proud of the man that I was. I..."

"Are you saying you're a better man now?" she asks. “Are you saying that you’re engaged or married to a wonderful woman and you’re not playing the field anymore?”

I press my lips together to stop myself from scoffing.

“So, how do we want to navigate this?" I decide to change the subject. It’s quite obvious to me that Karen and I will not become best friends. “What is it you want exactly?”

“What does that mean, Remington? It’s not about me. It’s about your daughter. Which you know is yours, after all the tests…”

"Obviously, I'll pay child support. Do you need back child support? Is there an account I can transfer money into to catch up on?—"

"I need you to take her for the next couple of months."

“What?” I shout.

“I said, I need you to take her for?—”

“Karen, let’s be reasonable here. I can’t?—”

“She’s your child. You haven’t even met her. You owe me, and you owe her.”

"Sorry, what?" That is not what I'd expected to hear. Is Karen crazy?

"I need you to take her for the next couple of months."

"Like every other weekend, you mean?" I clear my throat. “Maybe not this weekend, but the weekend after. Or if we could wait a few months and then?—”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I need you to have temporary custody right now.” She has a no-nonsense tone, which is opposite to the happy squeals I remember from the night we met and fucked in the alleyway behind the bar we’d met in. “You’re an attorney, draw some papers up so that you become her guardian.”

“But she’s never met me before. She can’t just live with me. I can’t just become her guardian.” This is becoming too real, way too fast.

“That is true, she hasn’t met you before. However, as her father, she can live with you and get to know you. I’ve had a detective do some research on you.” She pauses. “He says you’re a good guy. A workaholic and a bit of a ladies man, but no red flags. You're her father, and she's been asking about you, and, well, an opportunity has come up, and I'd like to take it."

"What opportunity has come up that would make you abandon your daughter?"

"You don't get to talk to me in that judgmental tone, Remington. I'm not abandoning her. It's a work opportunity."

"And what is this work opportunity?"

"I'm going to be a magician's assistant."

"What?" This has got to be a joke. "Did you just say a magician's assistant?" Disbelief drips from my tone. I had to be hallucinating. There was just no way I heard her correctly.

"Yes. His name is The Great Budini."

"Houdini, you mean?" If she’s working with a descendant of the great Houdini, I suppose I can respect that. I’d take off a few weeks of work to study under an illusionist related to the greatest that ever lived.

"No, obviously he's not Houdini. His name is Budini, but I think he's going to have to change it to Budino because people keep comparing him to?—"

"Budini, hmm.” I cut her off, my tone impatient. No longer impressed. “And you’re his assistant?"

"Yes, I am. He just got some gigs in Southeast Asia, and he asked me to go with him. This could be a really great career opportunity for me. You do remember how much I said I wanted to get into the magic world." She pauses. "Who am I kidding? You obviously don't remember anything about me."

"How does Canyon feel about this?" I ask because I don’t like lying. I can’t remember much about the night we were together, and I certainly don’t remember her career goals. "I'm sure she doesn't just want her mother gallivanting around Asia without her. I would think that?—"

"She's excited. She's been wanting to meet her dad for a really long time, and I think she would love to spend the next couple of months with you. She knows I'll be back soon and we'll FaceTime, and who knows, maybe you can fly her out a couple of times."

"Maybe I could fly her out or fly with her?" I certainly hope that she doesn’t think that there is a chance we’re going to get together. My heart thuds as I realize what a shitty thought that is. I know my mom would say I should have thought about that before I slept with her.

"You are her father, Remington. You haven't been in her life for seven years, and she’s a remarkable girl. She wants to get to know her father. She wants to spend this time with you.”

“This is a lot for me to think about. When can I give you an answer?”

“By tomorrow evening.” Her tone is curt, and I know that was not the answer she’d wanted to hear.

"Tomorrow evening? That is not enough time, I?—"

"I am leaving this weekend," she says. "The flights are booked, and the Great Budini is already curating my lines for the shows. I’ve already started buying outfits."

"Your lines? But you're a magician's assistant. Don’t you just stand there and look pretty?"

Silence greets me. Obviously, she didn’t take that well.

“Or rather you look pretty while saying your lines.”

"Yes, I'm just a magician's assistant, but there are going to be certain things I have to say as we're doing the tricks. I’m more than just a pretty face, Remington. Maybe you need to step up to the plate and look after our child. Put in some hard work. Take some days or weeks off and?—”

“You do know I work as an attorney, right, Karen? I am a partner in a top law firm. I cannot just quit my job to look after..."

"Canyon's in school and will be gone most of the day. You don't need to quit your job unless you want to homeschool," she says sarcastically. "Like you said, you're an attorney, Remington. You can afford to hire someone to help you if you have to work while she is meant to be at home. Though I would hope that you’d spend more time with Canyon, seeing as you haven't been around her, and use this time to bond with her and not pawn her off on someone else. I hope that you are actually going to get to know her because?—”

“I rather take offense to that,” I say stiffly. “I didn’t know she existed. I’m not some deadbeat dad here.”

“I know. That’s why I’m trying to make up for that.” She pauses. “Actually, there's someone here who'd like to speak to you."

"No,” I say quickly, my heart racing as I realize who is waiting to talk to me. “Not right now. Not..." I groan, as I can hear the phone being passed over.

A young voice speaks, and rocks fall in my stomach.

“Hello?” The voice is soft and sweet, and my heart flutters for a few seconds before extreme panic sets in.

"Hi, Canyon," I say.

"Is that you, Daddy?" she asks, and I frown slightly at the use of the word daddy . I’d never been called that before.

"This is Remington Parker," I say and then clear my throat. I sound obnoxious. "I guess I am your dad technically, but..."

"Daddy.” She says the word again as if she’s learning it for the first time. “Mommy says that you're a lawyer, but sometimes people call you a liar." She giggles. "So are you a lying lawyer?"

"I am a lawyer. Do I lie? No.” I clear my throat. “I mean, we all lie sometimes. But is my career about lying? No." I pause. "Anyway, your mom said that she is going to Southeast Asia and that you're going to spend some time with me, and I just want to make sure that this is something you'd actually be okay with. I don't want you missing your mom or?—"

"Daddy, I can't wait. I've always wanted a dad, and now I have one. Mommy showed me a picture of you on the internet, and you looked kind of funny.”

“I looked kind of funny?”

“Yeah, you were wearing a suit and tie, and you were sitting on a chair, and there was a lady behind you, and you had a?—”

"I'm not really sure what photo that was, but I will see if I can find out,” I say quickly, my face going red. I’m pretty sure she is talking about a photo taken at a burlesque show, and I can't believe that Karen showed that to her. Trying to make me look bad.

"Can I decorate my own bedroom?" she asks, giggling and talking a mile a minute. "I'm so excited. Or did you already decorate it? What sort of bed did you get for me? Are you going to buy me new clothes and toys? And can I get a MacBook or an iPad? I don't mind which one. And can we go to McDonald's? And... Oh, Mommy says she wants the phone." She giggles again, and my heart thuds uncomfortably. There’s an odd feeling in my chest, and I feel like I can’t breathe. My space is soon to be invaded. My peace and quiet. My solitude. My peaceful haven. "Can't wait to see you, Daddy. Love you.”

“Excited to see you, as well, Canyon,” I say, running my hands through my hair. My heart is racing, and I'm starting to feel very nervous. I hope she doesn’t notice that I didn’t tell her I love her. I’m not used to saying the words. In fact, I never say the words.

"So, Remington," Karen says as she takes the phone back. "As you can see, Canyon is very excited to spend time with you. Do you want to pick her up tomorrow, or should I drop her off at your apartment, or the office or..."

"I just don't know if this is a good idea, Karen. I mean, we don't even know each other that well. And..."

"You're her dad," she says. "You really need to step up right now. There have been a lot of years where you haven't been in her life."

"Because I didn't know about her," I say in a stilted tone.

"Well, now you're going to get to learn everything about her. I am going to get her stuff together and a list of important documents. I will give you her doctors and her dentists numbers. I think she has a dental appointment coming up here in three weeks. I'll give you my parents' number in case you need to get a hold of them, and they might like to see her on the weekends or something. And I'll give you all the information for the tour with me and the Great Budini."

"So this is really happening," I say.

"I mean, unless you want to marry me and make an honest woman out of me, then make me a housewife, and let me join The Real Housewives of New York , and..."

"I don't think so," I say quickly, and she bursts out laughing.

"Exactly. So then I need to make sure that I have a career, and I've put a lot on hold for my darling daughter. Of course, I don't regret it, but I'm not getting any younger, you know? I am not going to be a blonde bombshell forever."

I blink rapidly and swallow. I don't really know what to say in response to that.

"Okay, well, I guess you can bring her to the office tomorrow afternoon and then?—"

"Good," she says. "I'll be there at 2:00."

"Two o’clock? But..."

"But nothing, Remington. When you were fucking me that night without a condom, you had the time of your life. Well, there were consequences to the time of your life." I press my lips together. The simple fact of the matter was, I don’t even remember fucking her without a condom, and I don’t even remember having the time of my life. But I wasn't going to say that. No one needed to start an argument at this point. The simple fact of the matter is whatever sex we engaged in did result in a child. I had three positive DNA tests confirming the fact that I was the father.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow," I say. "Just let me know if there's anything else I should know before then."

"Sounds good," she says. "And trust me, it'll be fine. Canyon is a self-sufficient girl. She'll let you know if she needs or wants anything."

"Great," I say and hang up.

I sit there in silence, staring at the wall for ten minutes, just processing.

My daughter, whom I've never met before, is going to be spending the next couple of months with me.

In my bachelor pad. I did have a spare bedroom, but it had absolutely nothing in it—except for random boxes and junk. No bed, no dresser… Nothing in my apartment was kid friendly. Fuck , I think to myself, as I remember the dirty magazines, the sex toys, and other accouterments I have in my apartment. I'm not going to be able to clean this out by tomorrow. I pick up the phone one last time. There's only one person I can call to help me. There's only one person I trust.

I just hope that Juniper is not going to be pissed off at me.

I need her. Now.

Never was an assistant more needed.