Ice Cold Duke (Frigid Dukes #2)

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

“ W here is he?” Emery muttered to herself, checking the clock above the mantle in the corner of the ballroom. “He’s late, and we’re running out of time!”

It wasn’t like the Duke to be late to one of their etiquette classes, and this was one of the few that Emery actually felt nervous for; not just nervous, but a deep sense of foreboding. It was also the only etiquette class that she agreed she needed. She’d never been a very confident dancer, and London would be full of balls and parties at which she would be required to dance.

Truthfully, they shouldn’t have left dancing lessons so late--they were supposed to leave for London tomorrow!--but she hadn’t exactly shared with the Duke that she was a less-than-proficient dancer. It was embarrassing, and she was loath to show weakness in front of the Duke.

However, it also meant she was very nervous as she checked the cloth again. They only had a few hours to practice before dinner, and then it would be off to bed, only to rise early tomorrow to head to London.

Where is he?!

At that moment, the door to the ballroom swung open, and the Duke entered holding a large bouquet of flowers.

The moment they saw each other, both of them froze. Emery was staring at the flowers, not sure what to make of them. Are those for me? No, surely they are for Leah, as a congratulatory gift for the beginning of her Season…

“Ahh, I’m glad I caught you before the others showed up,” the Duke said, referring, she assumed, to Leah and the dancing instructor, who were also late. “I got these for you.”

He held out the bouquet of flowers to her, and Emery reached for them automatically. No one had ever given her flowers before, and as she stared into the beautiful blue and purple arrangement, her heart felt as if it were in her throat.

“These are for me?” she asked uncertainly, looking up at the Duke. He nodded, looking a little shy himself.

“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “They are a thank you gift. I wanted to get you something to show my appreciation that you encouraged Leah to come to me with her worries for the Season.”

“Oh!” Emery hadn’t been expecting this. When she’d suggested Leah talk to her brother, she had been a little worried the Duke would feel as if she’d put him on the spot. However, she’d felt it was important he knew what was going on in Leah’s head so that he could help put her at ease. “You’re very welcome,” she said after a moment.

“Leah and I have not always been very close,” the Duke added after a moment, not quite looking at her. “Well, as children we were, but then, when things became more difficult with my parents, and I started having to be the rulemaker in our house, it drove us apart. I think she missed me as her playmate and resented that I had become so authoritarian.”

“That makes sense,” Emery said softly, and the Duke’s eyes flicked to hers.

“When she spoke to me about her fears, it reminded me of how wonderful it feels to give support and advice, not just to enforce rules. And… Well, it had been a long time since I’d just been able to be an older brother, and less like a father or a keeper.”

Emery smiled and hugged the flowers to her chest. “I’m very happy for you. Truly. You deserve to feel more like a brother and less like a father.” She laughed lightly. “After all, you are their brother, not their father.”

He looked at her, and for a second or two, an unspoken acknowledgement passed between us: and you won’t ever be a father. The breath left Emery’s chest, and a crushing sensation seemed to descend upon her.

He doesn’t want to be a father, she reminded herself . I’m not taking away his dreams. He told me himself that he doesn’t want to father children.

And yet, she couldn’t help but feel something like an aching sadness inside of her, and a little bit of guilt, as well.

The Duke cleared his throat. “Thank you again, Emery,” he said. “I know that things haven’t always been easy between us, but I want you to know that I respect how much you care about my family.”

She smiled, and the sadness melted away as she gazed up into his soft, kind eyes. “Our family,” she corrected. “Leah is part of our family now. And I’d do anything for her--for all your sisters.”

The Duke opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the door to the ballroom opened, and Leah, Eve, and the dancing instructor spilled in. All three of them came to a halt when they saw Emery standing with a bouquet of flowers clutched to her chest, the Duke standing in front of her.

“Oh, hello,” Leah said, smiling slightly. “I keep walking in on you two, don’t I?”

“No,” the Duke said, flushing slightly. It was a ridiculous thing to say, considering the fact Leah had walked in on them twice this week, but Emery understood the instinct. She, too, felt embarrassed to be caught alone with her husband in such intimate moments, even though there was nothing untoward about it. “That is to say… We are supposed to be here. You’re late!”

“Did you get Emery flowers?” Eve asked as Leah held a hand to her mouth to hide her giggle. “That was very kind of you!”

“Well, she has been invaluable in preparing Leah for her upcoming Season,” the Duke said stiffly. “I wanted to thank her for that.”

“And that was very kind of you,” Emery said quickly, curtsying to her husband. “Thank you for your generosity, Your Grace.”

He bowed back. “Well, I have things to do,” he said, clearing his throat again. “I shall leave you ladies to the dancing lesson.”

“You’re not staying?” Emery asked, a bit surprised. She’d been under the impression that he was in charge of all her etiquette lessons.

“I really do have a lot to prepare before we leave tomorrow,’ he said. “But I hope you enjoy the lesson.”

She watched him go with a mixture of regret and relief. As much as she was enjoying being in his presence recently, there was no way she wanted him to see her make a fool of herself dancing.

The dancing instructor wasted no time getting them set up into the correct positions.

“We will be starting with the waltz,” he told them. “It’s a rather newer addition to our repertoire, but I believe all of you are familiar with it.”

“Yes,” Emery said, nodding enthusiastically. Her parents had not allowed her to learn the waltz, thinking it was far too risqué and modern for a young lady to learn, so she had taught it to herself with the help of Georgina and Henry. It was the most romantic dance of all those she’d learned, requiring the partners to hold each other close, and she had always imagined dancing it someday with the man who loved her.

Trying to push away the gloomy thought that she now would never get to live out this fantasy, she took her place on the floor with Leah as her partner while Eve sat down at the piano to play a waltz for them.

The music began, and Emery and Leah began to dance, Emery taking the role of the man. Within a few seconds, however, the dancing master was yelling at them to stop.

“Is that what you call a waltz?” he asked, staring with astonishment at Emery. “I wouldn’t even call that dancing!”

“Er…” Emery felt her face flush, and she released Leah’s hands. “I’m sorry, I’ve never formally danced this, only ever with my friends in my parents’ house.”

“Yes, I can tell,” he said, sniffing again. “You are to move as if your partner is an extension of your own arms. Not as if they are a statue that you are trying to rip from the ground.”

Emery’s stomach churned with shame, and she dropped her eyes. “I’m s-sorry,” she murmured.

“Again!” the dancing instructor shouted, and Emery forced herself to take Leah’s arms again.

“Don’t worry about him,” Leah murmured, giving her a reassuring smile. “He’s hard on everyone.”

“I hope so,” Emery whispered back. “I’m not exactly confident in my da--”

“No talking!” the dancing instructor screeched, and Emery fell silent. Usually, in situations such as these, she wouldn’t hesitate to yell back at a man criticizing her and put him in his place. But she felt thrown from the flowers the Duke had given to her, and the moment of vulnerability and intimacy that had passed between them after. It made her feel tender and emotional, and she didn’t have it in her to fight back against the dancing instructor. Not to mention that she felt bad that she wasn’t better at dancing. It brought up many old insecurities about how she’d been denied a normal life of going to balls and parties.

“Your form and footing are all wrong!” The dancing instructor interrupted again after a few moments. “Let me show you.”

He took over for Leah, but now that Emery was in the women’s position, no longer leading, she got confused again, and even though she knew this part better, she tripped over her feet.

The instructor didn’t hesitate to tell her what she was doing wrong, and by the time he released her and let her dance again with Leah, he was shaking his head. “I might as well tell the Duke that you’re a hopeless case.”

Emery felt tears come to her eyes, and she had to look away from Leah so that she didn’t see them. This caused her to make another mistake, and the dancing instructor to start yelling at her again.

By the end of an hour of dancing, Emery was exhausted, frustrated with herself, humiliated, and ready to quit.

“I’m hopeless,” she said, wiping sweat from her brow as the four of them prepared to wrap up for the day. Eve was putting the cover back on the keys on the piano and Leah was drinking a glass of water, which a maid had brought for them.

“No one is hopeless,” the dancing instructor corrected her severely. “You just need more practice. With rigorous practice you may end up… decent. True skill and élan, of course, are rare.” He inclined his head at Leah. “Lady Leah is a fine example of a lady with natural talent to spare. But you, Your Grace, may yet become proficient. But you must dedicate yourself.”

“But we leave tomorrow for London!” Emery cried out hopelessly. “When am I supposed to dedicate myself?”

The dancing instructor shrugged. “Tonight, I suppose.” And he gave her a penetrating stare that she suspected had been used to shame many a student into practicing harder. “It’s up to you, Your Grace: do you want to waltz or do you not?”

And the vision came to her again: of being held in the arms of a man she loved, waltzing through a crowded ballroom, so lost in the dance and in his eyes that everyone and everything else melted away, until it was just the two of them, completely and utterly absorbed in their love. It was all she had ever wanted, and even if it had now been taken from her forever, she couldn’t help but want to conquer waltzing, if it might at least allow for some part of the fantasy to be fulfilled.

“I do,” she said, and the dancing instructor gave her an approving nod, which surprised her a little after how furious he’d been with her throughout the lesson. “Then practice, Your Grace!”