If This Was a Movie (Evergreen Park #2)

Chapter 23 – Nate

TWENTY-THREE

NATE

What are you up to?

I send the text after contemplating what exactly to say for at least ten minutes, like I’m fifteen and texting a girl for the first time instead of thirty-five and texting a woman I’ve fucked multiple times, made out with last night, and lives in the cottage behind my house.

Julianne Everett makes me feel like I’m a teenager again, and I never thought I’d mean that in a good way. But when she texts me back in less than a minute, my stomach flips with excitement, and I fight the urge to dissect exactly what it means that she texted me back so quickly.

Checking in on me?

As much as you’ll let me.

When she doesn’t respond immediately, I inevitably worry I toed past a line I should have stayed behind. I contemplate sending another reply telling her I’m just kidding or that I meant to say that to someone else or something just as juvenile, typing and deleting at least a dozen replies before she texts me back.

Sorry, I was walking, and I hate people who walk and text.

My chest eases, and I wonder if I’m too old for this, if the constant push and pull will be bad for my old man's heart.

I just did my last class of the day and cleaned up the center this morning. Setting up at my favorite coffee shop

My favorite coffee shop is three blocks from the studio. They make this coffee with vanilla and almond syrup…it’s amazing.

I remember her saying that the morning after we met, with a small smile on her lips and a dreamy look in her eyes. I also remember going out of my way multiple times that January and February, hoping I’d bump into her but never actually doing it until I decided it was a torture on its own and to let it go.

There are three coffee shops in Evergreen Park, something I always find interesting, considering it’s a town that’s barely two square miles. Two are relatively busy chain shops, not very Jules’s style, and because I checked multiple times, I know neither has the flavor combination she told me was her favorite.

In that moment, I make a decision. It might be the wrong one, and it might push her more than she’s ready, but considering I too am done with work for the day, I grab my jacket and keys and head downtown to her favorite coffee shop.

When I step into the doors of Evergreen Brew, I’m happy I made that impulsive decision, even if parking is a bit chaotic with the town lighting tonight, just like I’m happy I went into that bar that night instead of going home and moping once again about how I was single on New Year’s Eve.

Jules is sitting at a table, her laptop in front of her, wearing a slouchy light pink sweater with her gorgeous dark hair pulled up with a clip, her face concentrating on her computer screen. But when she looks up and sees me walking in, a smile takes over her expression as she closes her laptop.

“Nate! What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” I see it then—the brightness that comes to her face at that. God, nothing has changed since the very first night, and even she has to know it, even if she’s too scared to jump. “Are you busy this afternoon?” She shakes her head. “Want to help me out? I need to do some Christmas shopping for Sophie and my sisters, and unfortunately, I hate shopping.”

Without even asking how, she nods happily.

“I would love to. I feel like these scales are so unbalanced as they are.” She starts to stand, putting things into her bag, and I shake my head.

“You can finish what you were doing, I don’t mean to?—”

She laughs and shakes her head.

“No, no, I was just wasting time, scrolling through social media. I’d much rather wander the towns and shop with you.” She grabs her to-go cup and smiles. “Let’s go shopping till we drop.”

With a groan, I grab her bag and sling it over my shoulder.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to regret this?”

“Because you probably are. I love shopping.” I roll my eyes, and she laughs, but she has no idea that even though I haven’t wanted to step into a store for anything other than food or home improvement things for years, choosing to avoid my least favorite thing and shop online, I’d shop all day every day if it meant I could do it with her at my side.

“So who’s on your list?” Jules asks as we step out of the coffee shop once she finishes her drink. We move toward where my car is parked to put her duffel and laptop inside before we walk the three blocks to mainstream Evergreen Park, lined with stores and boutiques, perfect for shopping. There are workers and volunteers everywhere, putting the finishing touches on street lights, benches, trees, and shrubs to make sure everything is perfect for tonight.

“Uh,” I say, putting a hand behind my neck and holding myself there. My free arm brushes against hers, and I curse the thick clothes between us, desperate to feel her against me. I kissed her last night, but I feel like I’m having withdrawals from her, which is insanity considering I didn’t even see her for nearly a year. “My mom, Sophie. Sutton, Sloane, and Claire…”

She snorts out a laugh. “So, everyone?”

“I’ve gotten my dad,” I say defensively, shoulder-checking her a bit, and she giggles. She stumbles a bit and I use it as an opportunity to put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to steady her and not letting go. “And gift cards for Sophie’s teachers. I also got the guys who work for me. It’s just…”

“The girls?”

“The girls,” I say with a laugh. “It doesn’t help that Sophie refuses to give Santa a list.”

Jules sighs and leans into me a bit.

Another win. A subtle one, but a win all the same.

“Next time I watch her, I’ll try and get her to put together a formal list,” Jules says. “We’ll make a whole thing of it. Stickers, markers, and glitter glue.” She looks almost as excited as I know Sophie will be, and I laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to clean it all up before you’re home.”

“No, no need. I was just thinking how much Sophie is going to love that. She loves her some glitter.”

“So I’ve noticed. A girl after my own heart,” she says with a laugh.

“She’s off from school on Friday,” I say. “Any chance you can watch her?”

“Lucky for you, I have no classes tomorrow, so I‘d be more than happy to. We’ll have a girls’ day. Paint our nails, watch movies, eat junk food…” she starts, smiling as we move toward a boutique I know Claire has shopped at before.

“She’ll really love that.” I open the door, and Jules steps in, but instead she turns to look at me over her shoulder.

“So will I.” She smiles and claps her hands excitedly before stepping in further, me right behind. “Ooh, we can bake cookies!” I chuckle as we move to the wall where a plethora of girly tchotchkes are lined up.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever met who babysits and makes it into an entire itinerary.”

“Are you joking with me? This is going to be a landmark day. The first Jules and Soph day. A special occasion to celebrate if I ever heard of one.”

I think about how perfect it would be to give my daughter that all of the time, Jules and Soph days. To have a person by my side who loves my girl as much as I do.

“You do that a lot, make special occasions out of ordinary days. Snow day snowman pancakes, glitter glue for Christmas lists. You’re throwing a party for the kids?”

She nods before explaining.

“I don’t know. I like to celebrate the little things. Life has enough strife. If you romanticize the little things, every moment can feel special.”

I love this about her—how she looks at the world like it’s some fantasy she gets the honor of living, while the rest of us are over here just trying to survive each day. I wonder what the world would look like through Jules’s rose-colored glasses. She makes it seem like after last year, she took them off, but I think she just hid them behind darker ones, hiding her softness that I love so much.

“Were you always that way? I think Sophie’s a bit like that too,” I ask.

“Oh, for sure. I know a kindred spirit when I see one. And yeah. I’d do everything I could to make things special. First days of school, last days of school. God, you should see me on my birthday. It can be excessive. Oh! Claire would love this,” she says, lifting a frame in the shape of a heart with a big bow on top. “Put a picture of her and Sophie in it, or a picture Sophie drew?”

“Genius,” I say, leaning to grab a handbasket lined up along the wall and putting it in. Jules grabs a few other things, putting them in beside the frame.

“You can add these,” she says, grabbing a pair of fluffy socks. “And a pack of those chocolate bars she likes, and you’re all set.” She gestures to a second matching frame and a coffee mug. “These are for my best friend, Ava. She loves this store too. They’re almost the same person, if I’m being honest.”

“That’s terrifying. But okay, one sister down. So, you make small moments special. Did you get that from your mom?” I ask, desperate to know more about Jules in any way I can. “My mom is like that, constantly celebrating everything. She threw Sophie a tooth-themed party when she lost her first tooth, and she sprayed a dollar with glitter spray for me to put under her pillow and everything.”

Jules smiles. “God, I love your mom. She’s the coolest.” Then she sighs and shakes her head. “No, my mom….she didn’t know how to do that. She didn’t know how to romanticize the little things and just enjoy where she was at. She was always looking for what was next, something more, something better. Maybe before my dad, she did, but I barely remember that. I think after he left, she wanted the opportunity for…more. To prove him wrong, maybe? I don’t know.” She laughs, brushing it off and lifting a pink pen with a big puffy pom-pom on top, throwing it in the cart.

“Don’t get me wrong, my mom was fine, she loved me and never made me feel like she didn’t, but…maybe my expectations are too high for what a mother-daughter relationship should be. I always wanted sisters—someone to do all the girly things with. I have Ava and Harper now, but when I was younger, I wanted that.”

I grumble, remembering the years when my sisters teamed up and tormented me, no matter that I was the oldest.

“You’re lucky, you know. What’s it like to have sisters?”

“A pain in the ass,” I say with a smile, and she elbows me in the side. I use it as another opportunity, hooking my arm around her shoulders and pulling her in close. For a split second, her body is tight before it goes lax.

“I always wanted sisters.” I don’t speak, waiting to see if she’ll elaborate, and I’m rewarded with my patience. “I guess, technically, I have a few half siblings, but they aren’t…we weren’t raised as siblings, so we’re not close. Not the way you are with your sisters. It’s great that Claire was so willing to nanny for you.”

I smile, a pang of guilt filling me I refuse to give light to.

“Yeah, she’s pretty great. When Sophie’s mother decided she didn’t want to do the whole mom thing, it was a shock. They all pitched in by making a schedule, and Claire moved in. It got a lot easier once Soph was in school full time.”

The memory hangs heavy between us as Jules continues to pick up trinkets, inspecting them then placing them back before she turns to me.

“Okay, enough with the heavy. We’re on a mission. Operation Knock Out Nate’s Christmas List is in action.” She makes a Charlie’s Angel type pose, and I laugh.

“God, you’re fucking cute,” I say, then put an arm on her shoulders once more, tugging her close as we head to the register to check out.

An hour later, we’re still wandering, a couple more shopping bags in hand, when Jules’s steps slow, looking up at the Swift Building, the tallest building in Evergreen Park. When it was being built with broad promises of a mix of new work spaces and luxury hotel rooms, there were two very clear factions at the town hall meeting: half of the town loved the idea of bringing in more business and more room for people to stay in town, while the other half thought it would take away from the small-town charm.

My dad was on team “this is going to ruin Evergreen Park,” and my mom was on team “it’s good for the economy,” making it an incredibly rough time in the Donovan household. Thankfully, once it was built (and his son got a good chunk of the contracting work), Dad agreed it didn’t absolutely destroy the town as he kept worrying.

“What’s your take on it?” I ask, watching her eyes go glazed as she looks.

“What?”

“What’s your take on it? Everyone in Evergreen Park has an opinion on the Swift Building.”

“I love it,” she says simply, surprising me.

“You do?” I ask, since she seems much more on the side of small-town charm than big city hustling.

She shrugs. “I don’t think it takes away from the town, just adds...something more. It’s not like it’s the goddamn Empire State Building, the way some of these people act. Plus, I hear you can see the entire town from up there, which is cool.”

I look at her aghast and in shock. “You’ve never been up there?”

She shakes her head, and I make a split-second decision, grabbing her hand and moving toward the front door.

“Hey, Henry, how’s it going?” I ask the doorman with a smile. A doorman isn’t exactly necessary here, but when kids started sneaking up to the top of the building regularly, the town decided it was best to have someone keeping track of who was going where.

“Can’t complain. Got a job in one of the suites?”

“No, I just found out Jules here has never been to the top,” I say with a smile.

His eyes go wide. “Really?”

Jules shrugs and smiles. “Never had an opportunity.”

“Well, you know sunset is the best time to go,” he says with a wink to me before stepping to the side.

“Thanks, man. I owe you.”

“Anytime,” Henry says as the elevator doors close.

We ride the fifteen floors up, getting off on the top floor then moving to a flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. A cold breeze knocks the air from my lungs, but the look on Jules’s face is what keeps me from feeling it, total awe and excitement as she moves in a small circle, taking in the town below.

“Oh my god, you really can see the whole town,” she whispers to herself. “Look, there’s my building.” Jules points to where her dance studio is excitedly before turning again. “And your house.” She’s like a little kid discovering something new.

“There’s my parents’ house,” I say, pointing to the west where the sun is starting to dip below the treeline that surrounds the town of its namesake.

“Wow. This is so cool,” she says, stepping closer then looking up at me. “Thanks for bringing me here, Nate.”

“Thanks for coming shopping with me. You know, Henry was right. This is the best place to watch the sunset in town,” I say as a breeze rolls through, making Jules shiver. I pull her to me, her back to my front, and I’m pleased when her body never goes tight, instead sinking into me almost instantly.

Progress.

“It is pretty,” she says low, watching the sun sink beyond the boundaries of our little town.

When I was a kid, I hated Evergreen Park. I hated how small it was, how everyone knew everyone, hated that I couldn’t go anywhere without getting stopped, without someone asking how my mom was or something about my sisters.

But as I got older, after I left for school in New York, I missed it. I realized a town like this doesn’t exist much outside of fiction anymore, and I was lucky to have it. It’s why, when I found out about Sophie, I immediately bought a house here, fully intending to raise my daughter in this small, idyllic town.

“This has to be in at least one of your movies, watching a sunset together.”

“In Sleepless in Seattle , they meet on the Empire State Building at sunset,” she says, briefly looking at me over her shoulder.

“What’s that one about?” I ask, watching the colors of the sky change.

“A widower.”

“Sounds depressing.” She huffs out a laugh, trying to elbow me, but I hold her tighter. “What else?”

“Well, there’s a meddling kid,” she tells me.

“I’m familiar with that,” I say, and she laughs again.

“His kid makes him call up this radio station to talk about how lonely he is and how much he misses his wife. Then the entire country falls in love with him, people send letters…it’s chaos. But this one woman tells him to meet her at the top of the Empire State Building.”

“Ah, I see.”

“It’s a classic I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.”

“Add it to our list,” I whisper, leaning and pressing a kiss to the top of her hair.

“Our list?” she asks.

“What, you’re not making it your mission to give me a full education of romance movies?”

“I, well, I…” she says, then tries to turn, but I hold her tight so she can’t, instead staring at the setting sun. “We can watch something else, you know. If you don’t?—”

“I do,” I say quickly, cutting her off. “I love learning what you like, what movies make you happy. It’s like a small look into the world of Jules. I gotta take what glances I can get.”

“Not much to know,” she says. “I’m pretty boring. I’m just a girl who doesn’t know to drip her water lines and watches too many movies and lives in delusion most of the time.”

I don’t like the tone of her voice, like she’s embarrassed or thinks she’s not everything. When I turn her to look at me, I see the same look over her face. I wrap my arms around her lower back until her chest is pressed to mine, her hands moving to my neck.

“I’m totally crazy for you, Jules. Whatever version, whatever bits of you you’re willing to share,” I whisper. A long moment passes where my heart pounds, thinking she’s going to say something that will break this moment.

“I’m really fucking scared,” she whispers, and despite the negative tone, this confession of hers feels like a win. She’s no longer telling me she’s done with the mere idea of love but that she’s too afraid to try. “If I fall, I could get hurt. Really, really hurt, Nate.”

I’ll take it.

I shake my head. “I’ll always catch you.”

Her eyes warm, and I realize I said the right thing when she moves to her tiptoes and presses her lips softly to mine just as the sun sets.

That’s when it happens: the town lights up. A short, stilted gasp leaves Jules’s lips, and I take the opportunity to resume my lips to hers, a perfect fit as always.

It’s a moment out of the movies, and in it, I realize I’ll do whatever it takes to make her entire life like this: a series of movie-worthy events to take her breath away.

I convince Jules to let me drive her to her car. She’s parked at the community center, a good half mile from where I parked outside the coffee shop, and even though it’s a short walk, I’m desperate for more time with her.

“So how else do the women get wooed in your movies?” I ask, turning onto Maple Road. I’m taking the long way to my house, trying to squeeze any extra moments I can with her. I know once she gets space between us, she’s going to start overthinking again, putting what’s left of her wall back up. I know it’s starting to weaken, that I’m finding cracks in it to show her I want her, want this, and I’m safe, but she’s still hesitant to give in completely.

“What?”

“During the courting process. What’s on your list of what happens in the movies?”

“Are you asking for courting tips, Nate?”

“Absolutely. I’m man enough to admit I want to make sure I don’t fuck this up with you. If this was a movie, what would be the next step?”

She bites her lip, thinking before shrugging. “I don’t know. Sometimes they call.”

“They call?

“Yeah. You know, they call and then they flirt all night. She twines the phone wire around her finger and lays on her back, staring at the ceiling while he whispers sweet nothings to her, wooing her.”

“That’s what I want to do, you know,” I say, parking next to her car.

“Twine the phone cord around your finger?” she asks, confused, and I laugh. It might not be smart, but I lean in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back, smiling at her dazed face.

I fucking love that, how the smaller kisses put that look in her eyes. “No, I want to do the whole nine of movie-worthy wooing. Sunset kisses and buying you flowers and phone calls that keep you up late at night. I want to win you.”

“What if…what if I’m not ready to be won?” she asks, biting her lip. I know this is her thing, her being too scared to give into this, afraid it’s going to fall away again, but I’ll wait for as long as I have to.

“Then I’m going to be doing a shit ton of wooing,” I say simply, then step out of the car, moving to her side. I fight a laugh as I watch her head follow me, mouth slightly open like she’s in shock. When I open the door, she looks up to me, speaking.

“Nate, I—” she starts, but I cut her off, grabbing her hand and tugging her from the car before speaking.

“I’m taking your lead. I want more—so much more—but I’m not going there until you’re sure. I get that you’re scared, and that means I’ll stand here every day until that fear goes away. I’ll wait for you to be as sure as I am. I’m in this for the long run. I know what a year without you felt like after I found you the first time and I didn’t like it. I’m not making the same mistake twice.”

She stands there, stunned, mouth open, before she starts to make noise.

“I—I…” she stutters, a mix of panic and relief rolling over her face, telling me I’m making the right choice. “I don’t?—”

I shake my head.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just want to be as clear as I can about what this is between us. It’s more, Jules, and you know it. I’m not going to fuck it up by rushing it when I can just have you for a lifetime if I wait.”

“Nate, we can’t?—”

“We can, and we have been, and we will. If we need to dance around it for a few weeks, months, fuck, years, I’ll be here, waiting.” Then I lean down, pressing my lips to hers gently before moving to press my lips to her forehead and step away.

“Now get in your car,” I say, tipping my chin toward her car. Dazedly, she turns, digging in her bag and unlocking it before moving to sit inside. I grab the door before she can close it. “I’ll call you tonight, Jules,” I say before closing the door.

And as I walk back toward my truck, I can’t help but smile to myself when I hear a girlish squeal from her car.