I’m Watching You (Richmond Novels #1)

Chapter Nineteen

Wednesday, July 9, 5:30 A.M.

Lindsay woke with a stiff neck and a dull headache throbbing behind her eyes. She’d spent the better part of the night tossing, turning, until finally around three A.M. she’d fallen into a fitful sleep. She dreamt of eyes watching her.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, shoved her hands through her tangled hair, and glanced at the clock. With a groan, she pushed out of bed and walked to the pile of running clothes by her door. Most mornings, she ran or did yoga. Physical exertion had a way of resetting the barometer in her body no matter how messed up life felt.

Today, she didn’t need quiet meditation. She needed to sweat, to push her muscles until they burned, and to have endorphins flooding her brain.

She dressed in jogging shorts and a tank and slipped on running shoes. Combing her fingers through her hair, she swept her thick blond strands into a high ponytail and moved quietly into the kitchen. She didn’t want to wake Nicole, who was an extremely light sleeper.

The coffeepot, always set for 5:45 A.M., was full of hot coffee. She poured a cup and sipped as she moved to the small table by the bed, where she kept her cell phone on a charger next to her house key. She glanced out the front window and searched for the morning paper. It hadn’t arrived. Frustrated, she took a few more sips of coffee and then hooked the phone to her waistband. She did a few stretches to loosen up her muscles.

Lindsay had a running buddy, Tasha Winters, and the two met near the University of Richmond on Wednesdays at Bandy Field, a small park inside the city limits. They started their workout with a few laps around the park’s large open sports field, and then they cut through either surrounding neighborhoods or the university campus.

She arrived at the park a couple of minutes past six and found Tasha stretching. Tasha was in her late twenties, petite, and had a tight muscular build. She reminded Lindsay of a pixie – a term Tasha hated. Too many people underestimated Tasha because of her small size, and all were surprised to learn she was a cop and a member of Henrico County’s canine unit.

Rex, Tasha’s Belgian shepherd, sat next to her, quietly waiting, watching, and ready to spring if she gave the command. The two had passed their twelve-week training course just six months ago and already they were inseparable. Rex was trained to find explosives.

Tasha saw Lindsay and waved. ‘Happy birthday.’

She’d forgotten her own birthday. ‘Thanks.’

‘You look like hell.’

Lindsay shrugged. ‘It’s been one of those years.’

‘Tell me on the trail. We’ve got to get cracking. I’ve got to be at headquarters by nine.’

‘Right.’ The two started off at a slow jog moving around the dirt path that circled the mile-long trail that cut through the park. Even after a mile Lindsay’s muscles didn’t relax. Normally during a run, this was when she hit her stride.

Tasha picked up her pace a notch, knowing Rex liked the workout. ‘So, what’s up?’

Lindsay struggled to match Tasha’s gait. ‘Do you want the long version or the short?’

‘We’ve got five miles to go. How about the long?’

‘Zack.’

‘Ah.’ Tasha had worked with both Lindsay and Zack and knew their history. ‘Is he investigating the homicide at the shelter?’

‘He’s one of the detectives on the case.’

‘So how did it go seeing him?’

‘Very weird. I don’t see him for a year and now he’s everywhere I turn.’

Tasha frowned. ‘This can’t be good.’

‘We went out to lunch yesterday. He took me to his parents’ restaurant.’

‘And?’ Tasha didn’t sound happy. She’d consoled Lindsay after the separation. She’d watched Lindsay cry until she was nearly sick.

‘It felt very odd.’

‘Sounds like you’re having doubts about the divorce. Again.’

‘No, I’m not. I need to finalize this.’

‘Then why haven’t you?’ The tension in her voice had Rex perking up his ears. Tasha smiled at the dog to reassure him.

‘I don’t know.’ She was having trouble finding a comfortable rhythm today.

Tasha wiped sweat from her brow, jumped over a pothole. ‘You know his work always – always – comes first. And don’t forget that little thing called his drinking problem. Or the little detour into that little cheesecake’s bed.’

The recap of Zack’s faults made Lindsay cringe. ‘I haven’t forgotten any of it. There were times I wished I could forget, but I haven’t forgotten.’

‘Good.’

Too many nights she longed for the old Zack. He’d been strong. With him she’d felt safe, a feeling she’d not had in more years than she cared to count. ‘He seemed different yesterday.’

Tasha shot her a you’ve-got-to-be kidding look. ‘Different how?’

Her heart raced and she found it harder to breathe evenly. ‘Different in the way he used to be, before the drinking.’

Tasha stopped and Rex halted. ‘You’re joking.’

Lindsay stopped. Sweat dripped from her forehead, stung her eyes. ‘What? I’m just saying he seems different.’

Tasha placed her hands on her hips. Her blue eyes looked as if they could breathe fire. ‘Do you know what you sound like?’

Lindsay wiped her brow. ‘I know, I know. One of my clients.’

‘That’s right. You sound like every woman whom you’ve ever counseled. How many times have you wanted to pull your hair out because one of your clients couldn’t see the bad in the man in her life?’

Lindsay’s defenses went up. ‘Zack is far from perfect, but he is a good man. He’s not like the others.’

‘Hey, don’t get me wrong. Zack isn’t a bad man. He’s flawed but he’s good at heart. And I like Zack. He’s one of the best cops on the force and I wish him the best. But he’s not husband material.’

Unshed tears stung Lindsay’s throat, forcing her to swallow hard. ‘I know.’

‘Look,’ Tasha said more softly, ‘my job here is not to rip out your heart, stomp on it, and make you suffer. But I don’t want you to forget that you and Zack separated for very good reasons.’

‘You’re right. You’re right.’ Maybe if she said it over and over it would sink into her own brain.

Tasha patted Lindsay on the shoulder. ‘There are a lot of really nice fish in the sea, kiddo. And a lot of them don’t come with the kind of baggage Detective Kier has. Don’t you have that nice doctor who’s interested?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well?’

‘Got it.’ Only she wasn’t interested in the other fish. She wanted Zack. Wanted what they’d had in the beginning.

They finished their loop around the park and it came time to cross Three Chopt Road and extend their run through the neighborhoods. Tasha went first and as Lindsay followed a van unexpectedly rounded the sharp curve. The driver hit the brakes and blared the horn.

Lindsay bolted the rest of the distance but paused on the side of the road, her heart pounding in her chest. ‘Damn.’

Tasha stopped. ‘Are you all right?’

Lindsay glanced at the van as it sped through the light a block away. ‘Yes.’

They started running through the neighborhood. The houses were small, one story, and most were built in the 1940s. The lots were large and most of the lawns were well manicured. Lindsay had always liked this neighborhood. She loved the feeling she got when she drove through. If she lived in this area, she could walk to get coffee or jog over to the university.

There was a house on Morgan Street that she had always loved. It was one of the simpler houses and needed a lot of work. But there was a large bay window in the front, and the backyard was huge and got at least five hours of sun a day. She’d always been able to imagine herself filling the barren yard with loads of flowers.

‘Let’s go by my house and see if it’s still for sale.’ She’d been ecstatic to learn that last month it had gone on the market. She’d thought maybe she could put together some kind of creative financing plan and swing the asking price – that is, until she pulled the listing up on the Realtor’s Web site and saw the actual cost.

Tasha grimaced. ‘Why do you torture yourself? It’s too expensive.’

‘A girl can dream.’ She grinned. ‘Besides, it’s my birthday, remember? You have to humor me.’

‘I’m going to humor you only because it’s your birthday.’

They rounded the corner and turned down her street. She’d loved this street since the first time she’d jogged down here with Tasha a couple of years ago. They came almost weekly, though in the last few weeks, she’d been so absorbed with work that they’d had to cut their runs short before they reached this neighborhood.

As Lindsay approached her house, she noticed the FOR SALE sign was gone. For a moment she stopped. Her house had been sold. She didn’t realize until this moment how many dreams she’d pinned on this house. ‘Somebody bought my house.’

Tasha jogged in place. ‘Maybe it’s for the best.’

It didn’t feel like it was for the best. ‘I guess.’

Lindsay started to turn but spotted a Jeep in the driveway. The vehicle was black, had a soft top and a dented back right fender. It looked like Zack’s Jeep. And then she noticed the unmarked police Impala parked in front of it.

Zack.

‘What the devil are Zack’s cars doing in the driveway of my house?’ Lindsay said.

Tasha groaned when she saw the cars. ‘It’s not your house, Lindsay.’

Angrily, she swiped sweat from her brow. ‘Yeah, I know, but it’s not his either.’

‘He could be the person who bought it.’

Lindsay couldn’t imagine why Zack would have bought the house. He’d never really liked it. When they’d driven by it a few times, he’d always complained that the place would be a money pit for whoever bought it.

She clenched her fists. ‘He can’t buy my house. He knows how much I love this place.’

‘Lindsay, you’re sounding a little crazed and you’re getting worked up over a house that never belonged to you. Who cares what house Zack buys?’

‘Logically, I understand that what he chooses to do with his life now is none of my business. I should just walk away.’ Instead she marched up the driveway.

‘Where are you going?’ Tasha demanded.

‘To find out why Zack bought my house.’ Lindsay stomped up the front steps and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, she pounded on it.

Tasha hovered in the driveway, not sure if she should run or drag Lindsay off the porch. ‘This is insane. We don’t even know if that’s Zack’s car.’

‘It’s Zack’s.’ Footsteps sounded in the hallway inside. Just to irritate him more, she banged on the door again.

‘I’m coming!’ Zack’s voice boomed through the closed door. There was no mistaking that he was pissed. Good. She could use a good fight now.

The front door swung open. Zack wore suit pants, a dress shirt, and a tie not yet knotted. His shirt cuffs were rolled midway up his forearms and his gun holster and cuffs hung from his belt. He smelled faintly of soap and aftershave. He held a cup of coffee in his hand.

Zack’s gaze initially reflected annoyance, then confusion and then understanding. ‘What are you doing here, Lindsay?’

The softness in his voice caught her by surprise and for a moment she hesitated. God, she had lost her mind. Quickly, she regrouped. ‘Why did you buy my house?’

He didn’t smile, but his eyes sparked with amusement. ‘It wasn’t your house.’

She planted her hands on her hips. ‘But you know I wanted to buy it.’

He sipped his coffee as if savoring this moment. ‘As I remember, there were no other bidders on the house.’ He sounded so damn reasonable.

Sweat dripped into her eyes. She swiped it away. ‘But you knew I loved this house.’

His shoulders filled the doorjamb. ‘What do you want me to say, Lindsay?’

She was acting like a lunatic. Unreasonable. And she didn’t care. ‘Damn it, Zack. This is my house. You know how much it means to me. Of all the houses in Richmond, why would you buy this one?’

Her tirade didn’t affect him in the least. ‘Care to have a look around?’

The abrupt shift caught her off guard. ‘What?’

‘Care to look around? I’d be happy to give you a tour.’ And without taking his gaze off Lindsay, Zack added, ‘Tasha, you and Rex are welcome to come in and look around as well.’

Tasha chuckled. ‘Front row seats to World War III? No thank you. Lindsay, let’s just get going. The house is gone.’

A bit of the fight drained from her. Tasha was right. The house and her dreams were gone.

Zack seemed to sense her shift in mood, but instead of encouraging her to leave, he challenged her with his darkened gaze. ‘Are you leaving or staying, Lindsay?’

Lindsay fumed. He knew she’d always wanted to look inside the house. He was using the house to get to her. Well, he was mistaken if he thought he could get under her skin again. ‘Tasha, I’m going to have a look around.’

Tasha shook her head. ‘Why?’

‘I want to see the place,’ Lindsay said defensively.

Zack sipped his coffee as if to hide a smile.

Tasha shook her head. ‘Well, I’ll take a pass. I’ll call you later.’

‘Thanks.’ She watched as Tasha and Rex jogged down the street back toward her parked car, just a few blocks away.

‘Are you coming in? I’ve got to be at work in an hour,’ Zack said.

Now very aware that she and Zack were alone and that she wore only her jogging top, thin shorts, and running shoes, Lindsay felt her resolve fade a fraction. But pride goaded her forward as she moved around him, careful not to touch him.

The house was a disaster. Piles of construction supplies were stacked high in the living room alongside unpacked moving boxes. Dust covered scuffed hardwood floors and the paint on the walls was an obnoxious shade of avocado green. She doubted the interior had been updated since the sixties.

But Lindsay could see beyond all that. The bones of this house were excellent. Plaster walls under the green paint were sure and strong, the doors were solid wood, and the hardwood floors would glisten once they were sanded and refinished. The large bay window in the living room looked even better from the inside and once it was cleaned would allow sunlight to fill the room.

She moved down the center hallway to a kitchen in the back. Zack had furnished the room with a retro Formica kitchen table that had a funky appealing style to it. Knowing Zack, he’d chosen it more for utility than style, but it fit the kitchen perfectly. On the kitchen counter, a modern coffeepot simmered fresh coffee.

Except for the refrigerator, which she’d bet was empty, the appliances were outdated and would need replacing sooner than later, but morning sunlight streamed into the room through the large picture window. It would be a bright cheery room once it was updated.

Seeing this place stirred dreams of children and laughter. For a moment, emotion tightened her throat. ‘You’ve got yourself a winner here.’

‘That’s what I thought.’ The deep timbre of his voice sunk into her bones. ‘By the way, happy birthday.’

It surprised her he’d remembered. ‘Thanks.’

‘Are you doing anything special?’

‘No. This week’s a little out of control.’

‘An understatement.’

She moved to the window over the sink and studied the backyard. It was a patch of weeds, and the oak tree way in the back needed serious trimming, but already she could picture marigolds and geraniums brightening up the darkness.

‘Any suggestions for remodeling?’ He stood so close she could smell the scent of his soap.

She had tons. Mentally, she’d already painted the living room a pale yellow and arranged her furniture to catch the light. She stopped her train of thought.

This house and the dreams that came with it were from a life she’d had to let go. ‘No, this is your gig. I’m going to have to find another dream house.’ And that thought triggered a swell of emotion. She hadn’t realized how often she’d dreamed about this house – about turning it into a real home. With Zack.

He brushed against her as he reached around her and set his coffee cup on the counter. The electricity from his touch startled her. It had been so long since he’d touched her and she felt half starved for contact. Sexual energy burned inside her.

‘Part of the reason I bought this house was that you loved it so much. I remember how you used to talk about the yard, the gardens.’

‘I’m not sure what to make of that comment, Zack.’ Her voice sounded husky. And she wanted to touch him.

‘I’ve dreamed of us living in this house too.’ His voice was raspy with emotion.

She met his gaze and, in a rare moment, saw the strong emotions he held on to so tightly. She nearly went to him.

And then she caught herself.

Tasha was right. This was a mistake. ‘I’d better go.’

Lindsay pushed past Zack and headed toward the front door. She had her hand on the doorknob.

‘Lindsay, don’t go.’

She hesitated, realizing how much she wanted to stay. She turned and took a step toward him.

He moved with purposeful steps down the hallway, closing the distance between them. Their faces were only inches apart.

Her heart pounded hard against her chest, its beat filling her ears. She was certain he could hear it.

As their gazes held, she felt a change in the atmosphere. He wanted to kiss her. And she wanted to kiss him.

This is stupid, she thought, yet she didn’t move away.

Leaning forward, he kissed her. The kiss was soft, gentle, a testing of the waters, but it was enough to set her on fire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Warm lips molded against hers.

Zack pressed her back against the door, deepening the kiss. A calloused hand slid up under her tank top and cupped her breast and teased her nipple into a hard peak. Sexual desire exploded. She moaned her pleasure and pushed her tongue into his mouth.

This doesn’t mean anything. This isn’t reconciliation. This is purely about sexual release.

And the need for sexual fulfillment overrode everything. Lindsay refused to think about tomorrow, this damn house, or her messed-up childhood. She just wanted sex and the temporary ecstasy it promised.

Zack moved his mouth to the base of her neck as he pressed his body against her. His hand slid from her breast down to her flat stomach. His fingers moved under the waistband of her shorts to the nest of hair. He explored her moist, tender flesh and she thought she’d explode.

She cupped his buttocks with her hands and then slid her hands over his hard, flat stomach. It felt so good to touch him, as if she had come home.

She reached for the buckle of his belt and unfastened it, then unhooked the button on his pants. She pushed the fabric away and wrapped her hands around the smooth hardness of his erection.

Zack kissed her harder, driving his tongue deep into her mouth. A deep primal groan rumbled in his throat. ‘I’ve dreamed about this,’ he murmured.

So had she but she couldn’t speak the words out loud. Her hesitation had him pulling back to study her face. Rigid control held his lovemaking at bay. ‘Do you want this, Lindsay?’

She didn’t want to think. She just wanted to feel.

But he seemed to need to hear the words. ‘Do you want this?’

She moistened her lips, which now tasted of him. ‘Yes. I want this.’

Those words were all Zack needed to hear. He yanked her shorts and panties down, exposing her. She was moist, ready. He pressed his erection against her and kissed her on the lips. His kisses trailed down her neck to her cleavage. He licked the top of her breasts. This was strictly about sexual need, she told herself.

‘God, I’ve missed you.’ His warm breath brushed against her cheek as he spoke.

The need in her had built to a fever pitch. The pulse in her loins had robbed her of everything other than the desire for fulfillment. She stepped out of her shorts and panties and pressed her body against his. ‘Don’t make me wait any more.’

His kiss devoured her lips, and then in one swift move he lifted her off the floor as if she weighed nothing. He pressed her back against the door and she wrapped her legs around his waist and guided his erection to her. He drove into her. For a moment, she was overwhelmed by the sensation of him stretching inside her. Seeming to sense this, he went still and waited for her to become accustomed to him.

She dug her fingers into his back as he started to slowly move inside her.

Desire built and then she dropped her head against the door as the first spasms rolled over her and rocketed through her body. Within seconds a violent orgasm washed over her.

Zack pushed harder into her. Faster and faster. Tension racked every muscle in his body and he pushed in to the hilt. And then he stiffened and came inside her.

He collapsed against her and rested his face in the crook of her neck. Neither moved. Their hearts hammered in their chests. His breath felt warm and soothing against her skin.

For a brief moment, she felt at peace, as if everything in the world made sense.

But as the seconds clicked away, the passion faded. And as quickly as it had risen, it vanished. Even with him close against her, she felt a chill as the full emotional impact of what they’d done sank in. They’d had sex.

Unprotected sex. No birth control. Jesus, she’d lost her mind.

Lindsay shifted under his weight. ‘Zack.’

His breathing had slowed to a lazy pace. ‘Yes.’

She tried to wriggle out from under his weight. ‘This was a mistake, Zack. It shouldn’t have happened.’

He nuzzled her neck. ‘It didn’t feel like a mistake. It felt pretty damn incredible.’

God, she’d been so stupid. Tasha had just warned her not to come into the house but she didn’t listen. ‘Zack, I need to go.’

He raised his head and held her gaze. He looked confused. ‘Why?’

‘I just need to go.’

‘Stay.’

She pushed him away and yanked up her panties and shorts. ‘I’ve got to go.’

He stepped back and jerked up his undershorts and trousers. ‘Don’t just run away, Lindsay. I want to talk about this. There’s too much between us that needs to be dealt with.’

Panic rumbled inside her. ‘I don’t want to talk.’

‘We have to talk.’

‘I can’t. I can’t love you again. I can’t.’

‘Lindsay, please stay.’

‘No.’ She fumbled for the doorknob, turned it, and rushed outside. The heat and humidity had already burned through the crisp morning air.

She hurried down the three steps. Her legs felt like rubber, and she needed to keep her gaze trained ahead. And still, she turned to look at him again.

Zack stood in the doorway. His shirt was untucked as he ran fingers through his dark hair. He expression looked stricken.

‘Let me drive you to your car,’ Zack said.

She needed to get as far away from Zack as she could. She would not allow herself to trust him again. He would never hurt her again. ‘No. Thanks.’

He came out onto the front porch and halfway across the yard. ‘Lindsay, use some common sense.’

Hysterical laughter bubbled in her chest. She’d lost all her common sense. She felt like she was losing her mind.

She turned and started to run, picking up her pace as if her life depended on it.

God help her.

She still loved Zack.

But this time, she didn’t look back.