In Italy for Love

Chapter 24

24

Alcohol and insomnia did not mix. Alex knew this, but it still hit him hard when he spent a couple of hours exhausted and slowly sobering up, but unable to sleep. He dozed off in the early hours of the morning – he tried to convince himself he always would eventually – but woke again a little before six with the words ten days ringing in his head. How many had it been now since her appointment? Five of those days were already gone.

He got up and dressed and set the fire in the kitchen stove before heading out to his disorganised shed to put the final touches to his latest project. Attila followed him out, watching disdainfully as he gave it one last check and grease before rolling it into the courtyard and leaning it against the persimmon tree.

‘I thought you’d like this, because it will get the dog out of the house,’ he mumbled to the cat who responded with a flick of his tail and a doubtful look. ‘But don’t you think it’s going to be strange to go back to just the two of us?’

He realised with a grim frown that it had never just been the two of them. With Attila, they’d always been three . Laura had just been absent.

When he went back inside, he heard muffled footsteps upstairs and his heart beat uncomfortably, anticipating showing her his solution to the one pressing problem he could solve – and seeing her face after last night. The platonic housemate plan was in tatters after everything they’d shared. He’d lost his bearings and he wasn’t sure what she would think of him this morning.

He poked his head out of the kitchen as she emerged at the bottom of the stairs and his loopy heartbeat became an ache. Her untidy ponytail and the thick socks she wore over her normal ones at home made an intimate picture. The baggy woollen cardigan she’d barely taken off since she bought it completed a picture he wanted to keep for longer than the next week or so. But when he lifted his gaze to her face, her eyes were set in dark circles as though she hadn’t slept well either.

‘Hey,’ she said, padding down the hallway.

They drank their coffee in silence, until he accepted the fact that he was going to have to say something.

‘I’m sorry – about last night.’

She gave a half-hearted laugh. ‘What about specifically? Getting drunk? Or not sleeping with me? It’s okay, Alex,’ she reassured him. ‘I’m leaving soon and you’re… whatever you are. Still grieving. I’m not angry at you. It’s just difficult to judge how close we should get, when we don’t want to hurt each other at the end. Living in the same house…’

He glided his fingertips over the back of her hand. ‘Exactly,’ he said, when she trailed off. He wasn’t sure what she’d meant by ‘still grieving’ as he’d always be grieving in some way – but those ways changed, sometimes without him even realising it. He liked touching her hand. That was a new stage of grieving that made his stomach flip when he acknowledged it.

She set her espresso cup on to the saucer and stood. ‘I should go and see if Berengario is… Oh, he’s not working on the farm this week. I should?—’

‘About that,’ he said, unexpectedly nervous, ‘let me show you something.’

Taking her hand to lead her to the door, he noticed what he’d done and panicked, but made the possibly poor decision to keep holding on.

‘Do I need to close my eyes or something?’ she asked as she slipped into her shoes and grabbed Arco’s harness and lead from the hook.

He smiled at that dry tone he knew well. ‘No, you’ll see it as soon as I open the door.’ He hesitated one final time. ‘If you don’t want to use it, that’s fine?—’

‘Just show me, Mr Mattelig.’

He did as she asked, watching her carefully. When she caught sight of the white-framed bicycle with its two wicker baskets and gleaming – if he said so himself – chain and gear cassette, she grinned and he finally released his breath.

‘That is just perfect, Alex.’

‘It’s an old bike I’ve been meaning to repair for a long time,’ he explained, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. ‘The rear basket should be big enough for Arco. I asked Marisa and she said dogs prefer baskets like this to be quite small so they feel secure, but he might take a little while to get used to it so…’

Her fingertips brushed over the wire cage he’d fashioned to attach to the basket with two old belts.

‘I cannot wait to try this out.’

‘Want to do a circle around the courtyard? I need to see if the saddle is the right height anyway.’

She hopped up onto the seat with a bit of a wobble, but after her first loop over the flagstones, she was pedalling confidently – but perhaps not quite comfortably.

‘Stop!’ He said, waving her over. ‘Let me raise the seat. I knew you were tall, but I underestimated how long your legs are.’ Her legs looked even longer when she was up on a bike. Her height was something that she wore so well, as much as part of her as her strong chin. She had such a lovely fig?—

‘Are you checking me out?’

He snapped his gaze up to hers. ‘Sorry.’ He gave himself a shake and took the bike from her to loosen the stem and lift the seat – to accommodate her lovely, long legs. Clearing his throat, he said, ‘I’ll ride with you the first time, in case Arco panics.’ The look she gave him – soft and a little wobbly – made him want to give her bicycles every day.

When they were ready to go, he produced an extra helmet and held the bike steady for her to lift Arco into the basket. It took her a few attempts with the rather reluctant Lagotto, who barked and wriggled and eventually drew the neighbours to their windows in curiosity. Alex waved at each figure that appeared when the shutters were flung open.

‘Give the dog a bone!’ called Siore Cudrig.

‘No, he might choke!’ Si?r Mauri disagreed from the floor below. ‘Let him run beside the bici! Why put him in a stupid basket? Dogs need to run.’

‘He will be run over! The boy has crafted a good solution. He’s so good with his hands.’

‘If he’s so good, why is the postbox by the gate still hanging by one screw? And there’s a paver missing. He’s too busy doing something else with his hands.’

‘And you’re busy doing nothing at all with your hands! I hear your TV all day.’

‘I hear your washing machine every day!’

‘Are they talking about us?’ Jules asked out of the side of her mouth. ‘I only understood something about a washing machine and a TV.’

‘Always assume they are talking about us.’

‘What are they saying?’

‘Aside from speculating about what we do to each other with our hands? Not much.’

He expected a splutter or an outraged choke, but she chuckled, rubbing a hand over her eyes. ‘How often do you think the subjects of gossip are actually doing less than everyone assumes? Do you think they’d be disappointed to know?’

‘Definitely,’ he said with a wink as he unlocked the chain on his own mountain bike. Her hand landed on his shoulder and she leaned over until her cheek was a breath from his, then she paused. ‘What are you doing?’ he whispered.

‘They like to gossip, don’t they?’

‘It’s one of their five-a-day.’

‘I’m feeding them, then,’ she said with a smile. ‘And I’m saying thank you for the bike.’ Her lips landed on his cheek, lingering, warm and a little clumsy.

He hopped on his bike with his face flaming, but a lightness in him he wasn’t sure he deserved. Siore Cudrig and Si?r Mauri were talking about him, but something entirely unrelated to Laura. It felt better than he would have expected.

Arco barked sharply all through town, even when Jules shushed him with a soothing voice and slipped him a chewy treat. Alex rode in front, directing her onto the little strips of concrete allowing them to cycle more easily over the bumpy cobbles.

‘Is he all right? Do you want to stop?’ he called back.

‘I think it’s okay. He’s barking, but he’s not panicking. Hopefully he’ll stop soon.’

When they reached the open road, with the wind in his face, Arco’s barking became more sporadic – and there were fewer people to disturb.

‘This is so much fun!’ Jules exclaimed, and Alex peered over his shoulder to see a broad smile lighting her face. ‘I liked the walk, but the bike ride is heaven. I think autumn is my favourite season.’

‘You haven’t seen the other three here.’

‘True,’ she said wistfully. ‘And there isn’t really an autumn at— Where I— In Brisbane,’ she finished.

‘You’ll have to enjoy it while you can.’

He glanced back to find her watching him. ‘I will.’

‘The mountain biking is fantastic around here,’ he said over his shoulder.

‘I heard you were the local champion,’ she responded with amusement in her voice.

He didn’t acknowledge her comment, even as his cheeks heated again. ‘Since you like the forest so much, you should try it. Stop and collect some chestnuts when you take a break. That bike’s a hybrid, but if you stick to the flatter trails, it would be okay.’

She didn’t respond and then a tractor puttered past, drowning out anything she tried to say. Eventually, he heard her mumble, ‘Maybe I’ll try it, if I have time,’ in a half-hearted tone.

They turned off the main road and juddered over the stony track to Due Pini, which set Arco off again. Pulling up in front of the farmhouse, Alex tugged off his helmet and looked back to see Jules step off her bike, her cheeks pink from the cool air. She opened the basket and lifted Arco down, letting the dog run free now he’d made peace with the goats and knew his way around the farm.

‘Thank you,’ she said, her eyes bright.

‘I could thank you ,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘It felt good to get out on the bike in the morning.’

Her smile slipped. ‘Did you sleep okay, after last night?’

‘Not really. I shouldn’t get drunk, but sometimes…’

‘I’ve made your sleep worse, haven’t I?’ she asked, her eyes pinning him where he was.

He gave an ambiguous shrug.

‘Is that why you didn’t want me as a housemate?’

‘Partly,’ he admitted. ‘But it’s not your fault. Sometimes I sleep okay. It’s unpredictable.’

She took a step closer, chewing on her lip. ‘But you think if I… slept in your bed, it wouldn’t help?’ She squeezed one eye shut as she mumbled the question.

Even as his heart banged against his chest alarmingly, he smiled at her, the charmingly loopy expression on her face that perfectly expressed his feelings as well – this situation they found themselves in where the attraction only seemed to grow, but so did the complications.

‘You have a bed upstairs.’

‘You wouldn’t sleep worse than usual, would you?’

‘ You would,’ he pointed out, although the sudden thought of her pressed into his side as she snuffled softly filled his mind and wouldn’t leave.

‘Alex, I slept on a row of chairs in a restaurant on Saturday night and I didn’t notice you getting up at the crack of dawn.’

‘You were fast asleep,’ he agreed with a lift of his eyebrows.

‘It’s worth a try, surely. It’s really cold in that room upstairs.’

‘I can fix the?—’

‘God, Alex, you’re trying really hard to stop this happening. Do you want me to stop asking? We’re going to leave things as they are?’

He licked his lips, staring at her as she drew closer, her face lifting to his. He didn’t want to leave things as they were, but giving in and kissing her, holding her, letting things happen, could trigger a host of responses he couldn’t predict.

Still, he replied, ‘No,’ his voice barely above a whisper. ‘I don’t think we’re going to leave things as they are.’ Her mouth opened on a slow breath. She set off so many fireworks in him, but he couldn’t pretend he didn’t like the explosions. ‘Jules,’ he said – a question, a statement, he had no idea.

He heard Maddalena calling out a greeting and jerked back, turning away and lifting a hand to his hair in a nervous move to cover the irregularity of his breath.

‘Mandi,’ he rasped, clearing his throat as he bent down to press a kiss to Maddalena’s cheeks when she approached. Laura’s aunt was wearing one of her usual long skirts, her hair tied back in a scarf.

‘What a wonderful idea to come on a bike!’ she exclaimed. ‘Dear, you’re a treasure for coming again so early after last night.’ She pressed kisses to both of Jules’s cheeks.

‘I’ll, uhm… I’ve got to—’ He gestured back in the direction of Cividale. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow night for the gnot dai muarts,’ he said to Maddalena.