In the Wake of the Wicked (Veridian Empire #1)

25. Leo

25

Leo

M y mother’s hand felt so small in mine. It had been over a decade, and I still hadn’t gotten used to seeing her like this. The hands that were once larger than life, that once tucked me into bed at night or tenderly held me through my nightmares, now frail and fragile in my own.

I took in her graying hair from the light of the moon coming in the window, a bit of her vibrant blonde peeking through the strands. The same blonde as my sister. The wrinkles on her gaunt face were slightly less defined when she slept. Her thin chest moved up and down slowly with her breaths, the only indication she was still alive.

It was late, and with my rare night off from Sentinel duties, I should be sleeping. But I often came to her room when I couldn’t get my mind to quiet. I would sit here in silence and hold her hand, or, in the times she was actually awake, I would read to her. Rissa and I kept a collection of her favorite books on her bedside table. Sometimes, I would simply talk. Ten years ago, she was still responsive enough to respond. I would sit and tell her of mine and Rissa’s recent escapades while she slowly knitted or wrote in her journal, stinted conversation taking place until she became too tired.

Over time, those kinds of visits were few and far between. Her hands shook too violently to hold her needles, so we’d sit by the fire in the living room instead. When sitting straight for long periods of time became too difficult, we held her hand in her bed. Our stories earned us smiles and nods, an occasional whisper of encouragement.

But eventually, she stopped responding at all.

It began shortly after my father died. The healers said his sudden death, combined with the stress and change of the last years of our lives, pushed her over the edge. She succumbed to the weight and it fractured her mind, which in turn made her body break down. She took in just enough food and water to stay alive, some part of her still cognizant of her bodily needs, but not aware enough to so much as know who Rissa and I were anymore.

Watching her fade away like this…it was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.

The window at my back was cracked an inch, letting in the midnight air. I could hear the crackle of the leaves in the wind, the rustling of twigs and grass as small animals crept along the ground outside the windowsill. The crisp scent of pine and spruce filtered through. It reminded me of nights spent laying under the stars with my sister and our parents. Of simpler times. Not easier, necessarily, for we’d always faced hardships, but at least we’d been together .

Memories speared through me like a knife, making me grip my mother’s fingers tighter. Her and Father dancing in the kitchen of our cottage, her apron and rosy cheeks streaked with flour, my father sweeping her into his dirt-smudged arms. Rissa’s fingers twisted in her blonde curls as she sat in our mother’s lap, her bright eyes entranced in the fairytale our father read by the fire. The first time Rissa fully shifted, when my father and I watched her little red tail trailing my mother’s large, wolven body through the trees by the house, pure joy in their high-pitched barks.

My lips curved upward.

Then, the images changed .

Rissa sneaking into the house with large black and purple splotches covering her arms. The feel of rough leather beneath my fingers as I scoured my father’s Grimoire. Deep red blood drip, drip, dripping onto dried herbs, salt and copper blending with sweet earth.

Pain. So much pain. It was everywhere—my back, my bones, my skin.

Magic has a price .

My father, collapsed on the?—

“You’re up late, little brother.”

My neck snapped to the doorway, where Rissa stood with her arms crossed over her chest. “Couldn’t sleep,” I said with a grunt.

“Me either.” She padded to the chair on the other side of Mother’s bed and sat. “How is she?”

We asked each other the same question every time, and the answer never changed. “Same as usual,” I responded dully.

“Do you want to go get some fresh air?” she asked after a moment.

I nodded. I knew what that meant; she wanted to visit the clearing a little ways from our cottage. One we would often go to as a family because of how secluded and peaceful it was. For a family of Shifters and Alchemists, we felt most at home and connected to our magic out in the wild freedom of nature. When the worries of our world became too large, my sister and I found solace under those stars in the middle of the forest.

We made our way to the familiar clearing. Rissa laid down a blanket she’d grabbed on the way out and sat, leaning back to gaze up at the night sky. Her long hair brushed the top of the grass as she closed her eyes and breathed in.

I settled in next to her. The cool breeze raked against my skin, whistling through the trees. “Did she make it through the trial?” I asked.

“Yes. Fifth place, Lark said. We knew her detour here would set her back. ”

“I’m sure she was thrilled about that.” Rose seemed like the kind of person who didn’t take defeat well.

“Well, we don’t need her to win . Just get close to Gayl.” She twisted to look at me. “You sure made an impression on her earlier. Although, probably not the first woman to try and attack you on sight.”

“Hilarious.”

“What happened with her, anyway? Things felt…heated.”

I scowled. “That’s what happens when you keep mission critical information from me and I find out by someone breaking into my cottage in the middle of the day.”

She shot me a look. “Yes, and I wonder why I didn’t tell you everything, considering you took it so well.”

“Why did you keep it from me? All of it?” I asked, then sped ahead when it looked as if she was about to interrupt. “And none of that about fewer people needing to know the details. I’m your brother, Rissa. You always tell me everything.”

She sighed and faced the sky again. “I guess I wanted to protect you. To keep you as far away from this mission as possible. I know what being around Gayl does to you—you’ve always held onto that anger and vengeance. Not that I haven’t, but it’s just…different.” She shrugged. “I thought the more you knew and the closer you were to the details, the more likely you’d jump in and try to play the hero.”

“Why do people keep calling me that?” I muttered under my breath.

With a scoff, she said, “Please, Leo. You can’t help but come to the rescue. It’s practically in your blood. How many people did you beat up as a teenager because they so much as looked at me weirdly? And all those fugitives you save on your patrols. You’re a protector, brother. That’s not a bad thing.”

“We all help people,” I said.

“We do,” she agreed. “In different ways. But some of us focus on the bigger picture. The why behind it all. I’m not saying you don’t,” she rushed out when I opened my mouth. “But you take every individual person, every family, every night one by one, and you make it your personal responsibility to save them. It’s beautiful, Leo, how much you care for each and every one. It can make you forget to watch out for yourself, though. And as much as I love you, you’re just like our father in that regard—you make rash, stupid decisions.”

My exhale came out as a huff. “Tell me how you really feel.”

But she wasn’t wrong. And she didn’t even know of all the rash decisions I’d made for the sake of safety. Her safety.

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t involve you in the details from the beginning. I promise to keep you updated from now on, though,” she said.

I nodded. “We’re a team. You should use us, Rissa. We all bring something to the table that could help. If you called a meeting where we all knew the relevant information, we could make this work. We could help Rose.”

My sister eyed me. “I’m surprised you want to be in the same room as her again after how today went. What is it with you two?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” When she continued to stare at me, I said the first thing that came to my mind. “She stole my horse,” I grumbled.

“Emperor’s tits, Leo,” Rissa said with a laugh. “How many times have you met, anyway?”

I sighed. “The night before the Decemvirate started, her carriage was attacked by a couple of Shifters. I was patrolling the west sector that night.”

“Oh, so you were there when her uncle was cursed?”

Her uncle. That must have been the man fighting with her. “I assume he was the original Alchemist Lark had found to work with?” I asked, and Rissa nodded. “I saw her again in the palace this morning, as you heard. She was running from something and we hid together in a hallway. I had no idea who she was.”

She gave me a sharp look. “Yes, about that?—”

“Trust me, I know. You don’t approve of my palace visits.” I scrubbed a hand down my face.

“Then why do you keep doing it?”

“Why do you ?” I shot back, recalling her bruised eye and hurt leg from the other night.

Her mouth snapped shut. “Fine. We’re both reckless idiots.”

“At least I didn’t get caught.”

This earned me a laugh, albeit an annoyed one. She fell back onto the blanket and stared up at the stars. “We have to be careful, Leo,” she said softly. “There’s no telling what Gayl will do if he catches us sneaking around. That’s why we have Rose. We have to trust her.”

I rested my head near hers. “What if Lark was wrong about her? What if we’re making a mistake?”

“She’s done nothing to make us think she’s not capable. So what if she got stumped at the first trial? She’s going up against five other challengers who have had much more time to get ready, plus many with far stronger magic than hers.” Rissa propped herself up on her side and faced me. “You have to give her a chance. You’re so quick to expect the worst in others, little brother. Sometimes you have to look harder to find their best.”

I swallowed hard. “It’s not as if I want her to fail.”

“Then don’t act like you expect her to. Don’t act like you don’t believe in her.”

Her perceptiveness always surprised me, no matter how often she showed it. “When did you get so wise?”

She patted me on the arm. “You’ll get there one day.”

We laid there for a few minutes, listening to the sound of the forest buzz around us. “I’ll try to do better. I understand she’s our best shot, and I’ll do what I can to make this mission successful.” Even if she’s the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met , I thought with a sigh.

“I know you will,” Rissa said. “You always do.” She grabbed my hand sitting between us and gave it a quick squeeze. “I couldn’t do any of this without you, Leo.”

“Yes, you could,” I insisted. “But if there’s one thing I can promise, it’s that you’ll never have to. ”

We stayed there until the first rays of golden light began to peek through the trees, the way we used to as teenagers. When it was the two of us against the world, with the sun chasing our shadows away beam by beam.

If only they could truly disappear that easily.