In the Wake of the Wicked (Veridian Empire #1)

52. Rose

52

Rose

I met his gaze across the dress salon, and everything around us faded. I didn’t know how I felt about the look he was giving me.

It was too much but not enough at the same time. His eyes were dark, hot coals, and I was the flame they craved. Even in the middle of the shop with others surrounding us, he made me feel like I was the only person in the room. The only person that mattered .

I decided I liked it.

My lips curved into a sinful smirk. I held the lace burgundy mask to my face, batting my eyelashes at the boys. The slit in the matching gown opened to my thigh, and Leo’s eyes drifted across my skin before anchoring back to my eyes.

“Do you like this one?” I asked innocently, turning in a circle to give him a view of the glittering silver buttons that were only done halfway up my back.

“I do,” Chaz called out appreciatively. Leo glared at him.

“I need some help buttoning this,” I said to Leo, motioning toward the back of my dress. Rissa and Lark said something to the other two about finding a mask for Horace, but I was too focused on Leo and the black shirt straining at his chest as he put his hands on his knees and slowly rose from the couch. While the others talked, he stalked toward me, the heat in his eyes burning through the layers of this burgundy gown.

“Turn around,” he commanded, and I obeyed.

I set the mask down and faced the full length mirror, watching as his hand carefully brushed my mass of hair over one shoulder, knuckles kissing the nape of my neck. His fingers trailed down the bare skin at my back, eliciting a shiver through my entire body. He met my stare in the mirror as he found the first button.

“Look at you,” he said, lowering his lips to brush the tip of my ear. “So beautiful.”

The entire world could have been drowning and I wouldn’t have cared. I was set ablaze, every part of me honed in on his fingers, his chest at my back, his lips grazing my skin.

He took his time with the buttons. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from our reflection—his sharp jawline shadowed in deep brown scruff, those black eyes that glittered back at me. They swept over the exposed skin at my leg, the fabric clinging to my waist and hips, the dip of the neckline and wine-colored sleeves that hung off my shoulders. His stare made my cheeks blush and my breath catch.

I’d never thought much beyond my appearance besides what it could do for me. Beauty was either a weapon or a shield. Something you were hated or desired for in equal measure. But the way he looked at me, the way he called me beautiful…it felt like devotion. A plea for me to see what he saw, to see past the layers of armor I wore like a second skin.

He thought I was beautiful. Even after seeing my bitterness, my anger and fear and everything in between.

It was…liberating, to be wanted so deeply, despite all of the reasons nobody had wanted me before. Because of those reasons. But more than that was the way he made me believe it could be true. The way he helped me see myself through his eyes. A woman who didn’t have to hide. A woman who could challenge others instead of push them back .

“Is this the one you’ll be wearing to the ball?” he asked, fingering the sheer fabric of the sleeves.

I spun to face him and patted his chest. “Maybe. Such a shame you can’t go. I’ll have to find someone else to wear the matching suit.”

He gripped my wrist, narrowing his eyes. “Careful, little wolf,” he rumbled, the sound shooting to my core.

Rissa slinked up beside me and grabbed my other hand. “There are a couple more gowns that caught my eye for you.”

Leo glowered at his sister as I pulled away. “She’s the boss,” I said, winking.

The two of us walked back to the dressing room, which was a chaotic mess of tulle, heels, feathers, and satin. Rissa pulled me to the clothing rack and held up another dress.

“You know, for someone who leads an entire rebellion, you sure are messy,” I pointed out with a laugh as she tossed the gown to the ground.

She waved her hand in the air. “People are easy, if you can find what keeps them motivated. Fashion , on the other hand…” Smiling, she brandished a sleeveless black gown that billowed like a dark cloud at the waist. Intricate silver flowers trailed down the skirt, sparkling when they caught the light from the high window.

“Black?” I questioned. “That doesn’t seem like your style.”

“Haven’t you heard? Black is this year’s pink.” She winked and hung the dress separately from the others. “Besides, it’s not for me. I happen to know it’s Leo’s favorite color.”

I snorted. “Why am I not surprised?”

She helped me undo the buttons on the burgundy gown. I’d enjoyed spending more time with her today. There were so many things about the bright-eyed, exuberant yet level-headed leader that intrigued me. She was an enigma; calm and easy going, full of jokes and laughter. But I’d seen the other side—the calculated Sentinel, the woman who could take charge and bend others to her will with a single sentence. How had she become this fearless figurehead who commanded such respect?

Stepping out of the first dress, my curiosity took control. “So, Leo told me a little about your childhoods,” I said slowly. “I had no idea how difficult it was for Shifters when your magic comes in so young.”

Rissa handed me the black gown. “It feels like a lifetime ago, honestly. I remember the first time I shifted—partially, anyway. I was nine. My mother had scolded me for not cleaning my room. She said I wasn’t allowed to go outside and play with Leo until I made the bed. I was so angry that when I tried grabbing the pillows, my hand shifted into a paw.” She chuckled, her blonde curls waving. “Shredded right through the fabric. But Mother was so excited, she didn’t even care.”

I let out a soft laugh, then cleared my throat. “He said the beginning was challenging. I could tell it was hard for him to watch you go through that.”

Her features tightened slightly. “Yes, well, adolescence wasn’t easy. For either of us.”

“No, it wasn’t,” I murmured in agreement. “But look at you now. You’re…” I waved my hand at her and she smiled.

“Quite impossible to describe? I get that a lot.” She smirked playfully, but her face fell a moment later. “Sometimes I wonder if things would have turned out differently had Leo and I not been forced to grow up so fast. Our father died suddenly when we were twelve, and Mother got sick not long after. We didn’t have anyone to help us hone our magic. I had to learn how to control my emotions, to keep a cool head and work through the hard days without losing myself to my Shifter half. Most people have years— decades —to master that, but I…” Her eyes drifted to the side while I finished pulling on the gown. “Suffice it to say, tolerance and acceptance didn’t always extend to people like me.”

“I suppose that’s what makes you such a successful leader,” I mused.

Rissa fussed over the fabric of the front of my skirt, smoothing it down and fluffing the bottom. “What makes you say that?”

“Because you had to learn tolerance through that. You had to figure out how to put what was important over your own emotions, all while dealing with your grief and being shunned by society.” I shook my head and let out a long breath. Rissa had made the most of her trauma, wearing it like a battle scar and sharpening it as a tool. I, on the other hand, had let mine pierce me through. “It might have been for survival at first, but I can see it in everything you do now. Even if I’ve only known you a couple weeks.”

She flushed. “Here I was thinking you were trying to get my brother to fall in love with you, not me .”

My heart stuttered, then picked up speed as my body jerked reflexively. “What? I don’t?—”

“Oh, please,” she said with a smirk. “I can hear your pulse from a mile away.” When I moved again, she winced and looked down at her hand, where a small dot of blood had bloomed from a pin snagging her skin.

“Sorry,” I said with a cringe, reaching for a handkerchief next to my bag and helping her wipe the blood away. The cut healed within seconds. “How far can you hear, anyway?”

She shrugged. “It depends what form I’m in. Fully shifting gives me the most powerful instincts. But even partial increases my senses a bit.” In the blink of an eye, her dark irises took on a golden tinge and her human ears lengthened until I was staring at two fox ears on the side of her normal human face. She wiggled them at me.

“How efficient,” I said with a laugh. Motioning toward the doors leading to where the others gathered, I asked, “What are they talking about back there?”

She paused and listened, her lips pulling up. “Lark is pestering Horace about being drunk, Chaz is laughing at the beak mask Lark made Horace try on, and Leo’s staying quiet. Probably brooding since I took you away from him.”

My cheeks heated again and she laughed, turning me so she could lace up the gown. “I haven’t seen him this happy in…I don’t know how long. I think you’re good for him, you know. ”

The blush spread to my neck. “We’re not—we haven’t really talked about…” I trailed off, unsure what I was even trying to say. Whatever was between us was fleeting. How could it be anything else, when I was leaving in less than two weeks?

Rissa raised an eyebrow. “You think I don’t notice him sneaking back home at the crack of dawn every morning?” She fixed my hair so it flowed down the side of my neck. “You light a fire in him, Rose. One I haven’t seen in ages. I think my little brother is so used to being the protector that he sometimes forgets how to live his life outside of that role. He’s become jaded and cynical, with a one-track mind. But lately, he’s been like his younger self. More present. He gets along better with everyone and even makes jokes. A little irritable, sure”—we both laughed at that—“but he’s finally passionate about something other than the mission.” She spun me to face her, dark eyes sparkling. “And my gut tells me you might feel the same, yes?”

I pinched my lips together. “We barely know each other.”

“On the contrary, I think you know each other better than most of the people you let into your lives do.”

Fates, she was annoyingly accurate.

“I’m leaving in two weeks,” I said in another feeble attempt to brush off the turn in this conversation.

“I know.” Her keen gaze pierced me. “But think about this. If none of this existed, no rebellion, no tournament, no divisive provinces and hundreds of miles between you…would you want to be with him?”

My jaw shifted. What was I supposed to say? That Leo was the first man to see beneath my armor? That he made me feel valued and cherished and desirable and protected, all at the same time? I’d spent my entire life hiding from emotions like this, and yet in mere weeks, he’d uncovered my angry, smothered heart and showed me how to make it feel joy.

I’d never thought much about my future beyond running the Arcane. It was mostly blurry images of passing time, with the shop and my magic as the only constants. Often, I didn’t even picture myself —my future was more of an abstract idea. A predetermined route. An endless void ahead of me.

Imagining anything but Feywood and the shop felt futile. Except sometimes…

Sometimes I wanted more. In those brief moments of solitude, those stolen breaths between the expected and ordinary.

I wanted freedom. Freedom from the past that weighed me down like an anchor. Freedom from the shadowed reputation I couldn’t seem to run from.

I wanted purpose. I wanted my work, my magic, my voice, to mean something, even if it was just to myself.

And perhaps…I wanted him, too.

“Yes,” I whispered, before my senses got the better of me and I retreated to my shell.

The moment I admitted it, my hands became clammy. I wiped them along the soft fabric of the black gown, tearing my stare from Rissa’s. I hadn’t allowed myself to go there, to picture anything outside of the confines of the tournament. I took it one day, one night, one flirtatious smile at a time. Nothing more. Because in the end, I was still keeping secrets from him. From everyone .

I was the rose with thorns on the vine. I was the one with hidden secrets, the deceitful tongue, the poison the Oracle had spoken of. Anything in my path was likely to be struck. How could I expect Leo to want me once he found out the truth? That despite his vulnerability and trust in me, I’d still lied to him?

I glanced back up at Rissa, who gave me a knowing look. “Then I guess you have a choice to make, don’t you?”

An incredulous laugh bubbled out of me, breaking through my anxiety. “A choice ? Rissa, you can’t expect me to walk away from my life for a man I met not even three weeks ago.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She backed up to the dress rack, picking up gowns along the way. “You have to decide if your happiness is worth the risk, or if you’re going to let fear of the unknown get in the way. ”

I ran my finger along my lip, letting her words sink in. “Has Leo ever complained about how irritatingly perceptive you are?”

“It’s one of my many amazing qualities. So”—she clapped her hands together—“do you like the dress? Is this the one?”

I faced the mirror, twisting my hair into a bun and assessing my reflection. It was a beautiful dress. The silver vines and flowers on the black fabric made it look like something out of a dark fairytale.

But in the mirror, another dress caught my eye. It was cast aside from the others, as if an afterthought. Discarded. Unwanted.

My lips curved upward. I nodded my head to the shadowed corner where it lay tossed over a stack of boxes. A matching mask rested on the ground beside it.

“ That’s the one.”

She followed my gaze, then looked back at me with a feral grin.

“Perfect.”

A second later, Chaz came bursting through the door, causing Rissa and me to jump in alarm.

“There’s been an attack,” he said swiftly, his chest heaving. “We need to go.”