In the Wake of the Wicked (Veridian Empire #1)

66. Rose

66

Rose

T he instant the rain hit my forehead, a dullness swept from my head to my toes, like a blanket had been draped over my bones and pushed down tight. Pressure built along my spine, growing heavier and heavier until suddenly, it released, and a hollowness filled every cell of my body.

I was empty. Numb.

I’d never felt such hopelessness, such a loss of something so vital . As if my very essence had been snuffed out and ripped from me.

Leo staggered against a nearby tree as the rain descended faster. Rissa’s yowls filled the air, and he rasped out her name.

“We have to get under cover,” Lark insisted, shuddering against the rain pelting us.

“No, we have to find Rissa,” Leo countered. “I can’t smell her. I can’t—I can’t tell where she is.”

“She’s smart. She’ll know something is wrong and head toward the mountain to meet us.”

“Unless she’s wounded! If our magic is gone, she can’t heal. I’m not going to leave her out here.”

The rain came down harder and the wind howled through the trees. My tights and bodice clung to my skin, suffocating me as the water continued to seep into my blood. We didn’t have time to argue—but Leo was right. How could we leave Rissa unprotected?

I raised my voice to drown out the sound of the storm. “Horace, Lark—you two get to the caves. Find a spot we’ll be safe in. Leo, you and I can go get Rissa.” Horace opened his mouth to protest, his beard soaked and dripping, but I held up a hand. “We’ll be fine. If we’re not to the caves in an hour, then come find us, alright?”

He glowered at me but relented. “You have your dagger?” he asked. I flashed it at him and he grunted. “Here, take this, too.” He handed Leo the broken piece of the antler mask.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

Horace and Lark retreated into the shadows of the mountain. “You come across an enemy, stick the pointy end in them,” he said.

Leo cursed under his breath. I wanted to laugh, but the numbness inside of me had spread, muffling any other emotion besides the dread and exhaustion that filled the void where my magic used to be.

“Come on,” I said, taking his free hand.

We sprinted through the deluge in a mad dash. Fallen branches, waterlogged bushes, sinkholes, and exposed roots reached from the earth to trip us. The rain was coming down so hard now that I could barely see five steps ahead of me, but still, we ran, looking for any sign of the red fox.

Wind rushed through the trees and made the rain fall sideways. I gasped and spluttered against the wall of water. My foot caught on something hard, and my sandal straps snapped as my body flew toward the ground.

Strong hands caught me before I landed on the muddy forest floor. Leo wiped my sodden hair from my face and helped me back to my feet. His thumb grazed along the inside of my wrist before he bolted back into the tempest with grim determination. Tearing off my broken shoes, I followed on his heels.

Another whine pierced the night.

She was close .

Veering to the left, we followed the sound as best we could, redirecting when we heard her again.

Something splashed ahead of us.

I glanced at Leo and we both rushed forward, practically running into a dark red, drenched, severely pissed ball of fur. Her tail swung wildly back and forth in alarm.

“Rissa!” Leo exclaimed, falling to his knees before her.

She opened her mouth and dropped a dead, wet pheasant at his feet.

“You just had to bring something back, didn’t you?” he said, shaking his head as he rubbed her ears, checking for signs of injury. She nuzzled her nose against his forearm.

“Why isn’t she shifting back?” I asked.

“She needs magic to shift. She can’t do it if the water took her magic away.” Rissa whined softly in confirmation.

I wiped more rain from my eyes. We had to get back to Lark. Had to find out if this was permanent. What if Rissa was stuck like this forever? What if our magic never returned?

The idea of living without my magic, of being unable to ever use it again, rocked me to my core. It was unthinkable. Like a blow to the gut, it sucked the air out of me.

“Let’s go,” I gasped out, trying to ignore the tightening of my chest.

We ran through the rain. The trail inclined steeply as we neared the side of the mountain. The slope was slippery, with rocks crumbling and sliding on the mud at our feet, but we slowly ascended until we reached level ground that overlooked the forest and the tops of the trees we’d been beneath just a short time ago.

Rissa bounded ahead of us, the bird still in her maw. Her red tail disappeared around a corner. When Leo and I rounded the bend, we saw the opening of a small cave, almost indiscernible in the night and rain.

I reached for my borrowed tin of herbs as we entered the darkness, placing a crushed angelica leaf on my tongue and murmuring, “ Incendar .”

My stomach sank when I realized my mistake.

My magic was gone.

The truth, the finality of it, hit me.

“We’ll have to follow her,” Leo said. “She can see better than us.”

I swallowed and nodded. When I held my hand in front of me, I could barely make out its outline, but a soft brush of Rissa’s tail against my leg helped me trail her through the cave.

Musty, wet earth and rock assaulted my senses. The ground at my bare feet was flat and even, unlike the rocky terrain of the underground tunnels. As we strayed deeper, the sound of the vicious storm outside melted into the background.

The path ahead of us became clearer as my eyes adjusted. Shadows of our figures formed on the dark brown and stone walls, almost as if?—

“Is that light?” Leo asked, squinting. Rissa shot forward before we could stop her.

“Rissa?” Lark’s voice called out from further in the cave. “Rose, Leo, are you there?” Her words echoed around us. Within moments, the tunnels opened up to a cavern the size of several rooms, with our two friends huddled around a circle of twigs, leaves, and a small but vibrant fire. At the far side of the space were three more tunnels, their paths visible by the light of the flames. Rissa set the pheasant down at Horace’s feet and nearly stuck her nose into the flames to seek warmth.

“Are you alright?” Lark asked, her eyes sweeping over us. I nodded, slumping to the ground before the crackling fire.

“How did you two manage this?” Leo motioned to the fire pit.

“Some of us know how to start a fire without magic,” Horace responded.

Leo ignored him. “Lark, please tell me this enchantment is temporary. That my sister won’t be stuck as her fox half forever.”

“I promise, it will wear off,” she assured him. “It was meant to last less than twelve hours. As long as our clothes are dry and we pass any water we may have ingested, our magic will come back by then.”

I could practically feel the relief in the cave as her words washed over us. Temporary . My magic wasn’t gone for good.

But a lot could happen in twelve hours.

Looking out of the corner of his eye at the dead bird on the ground, Horace hmph ed. “Guess that’s our dinner.” Rissa curled into a ball beside the fire and licked her paw. “Can I borrow your dagger, Rose?” Horace asked. “I’ll get this on the fire soon.”

I handed over the weapon, and he and Leo sauntered off to the side to defeather and prepare the bird. Silence filled our little pocket of the cave.

Even though I knew our magic would come back, I couldn’t help but feel some resentment toward the whole situation. Glaring at Lark, I hissed, “What kind of a trial is this? Whose idea was magic-stealing rain ?”

She winced. “Well, technically, the initial idea was mine—but I had no idea how far Gayl would take it.”

“Yes, who would have guessed?” I said with a sarcastic laugh, ringing out the water from my clothes. “Because our emperor has always shown such mercy and consideration . Why would he ever take a trial too far?”

I knew my ire wasn’t helping, but the pit in my chest where my magic once resided made it difficult to feel much else. Except anger. Anger, I could feel. Anger was safe.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I know it doesn’t mean anything given the circumstances, but I was simply doing my job. The emperor—he wanted something that had never been done before. Something radical.” Lark sighed and leaned back on her hands. There was a weariness in her dark eyes, the faint wrinkles on her face more prominent in the firelight. My irritation eased a fraction seeing how much this affected her.

“You don’t understand what it’s like, being not only the youngest head architect, but the first female one,” she said. “The weight of centuries of tournaments was on my shoulders. And while it had been the Sentinels' hope from the beginning to get me elected, it still felt like mine . Something I could take pride in, even if I hated working for Emperor Gayl. Even if I knew I wasn’t in it for the glory, but to make change.

“I had everything to prove and everything to lose. And I—I might have gotten caught up in the intrigue of it all,” Lark admitted, moving forward to rub her hands together over the fire. “The might of the trials, the ability to create from the ground up, the experiments with magic I’d never thought possible. I didn’t want my work to hurt anyone, but it was ignorant to believe these trials wouldn’t have consequences. And I’m sorry you’re suffering through them, Rose. I’m sorry for the hand I played, and that it’s my fault for forcing you to compete in the first place.”

The fire crackled between us, casting shadows on the cave wall that twisted and twined with one another. I wouldn’t want to be in her position, having to balance what’s expected of you and what you feel is right, knowing the eyes of the most powerful man in the empire were on you every step of the way.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I finally said. “I could have refused. But…I guess I understand the idea of pride and glory. I wanted a bit of that for myself, if I’m being honest. To prove what I could do.” Pausing, I pressed my lips together, mulling over my next words. “I know we’re on the same side, Lark. I don’t want to be mad at you. It’s just…it’s difficult to separate you from the trials. You from him .” I looked away and tugged at the pins in my hair to let my dark locks fall around me, needing to give my hands something to do.

“I understand,” she said softly. “I would be angry with me too, trust me.”

I gave her a half smile. “I am trying. I promise. I know how much the Sentinels mean to you, and how much you love these three especially.” My gaze fell on Rissa and Leo and Horace across the cave, then down to my fingers as they fidgeted with the ends of my sheer dress. “As easy as it is to be angry with you, I know who I should really be directing it toward. And I think you’re incredibly brave for facing him day after day and not letting him…get in your head. Not letting him distract you from what truly matters.”

I know how easy it is to give in , was what I wanted to say, but she seemed to understand my unspoken words.

“Power such as his can get to even the best of us, Rose,” Lark said, her tone heavy. “I don’t know what you’ve been through or what your meetings under the guise of spying for the Sentinels entailed, but if you ever want to talk…I’m here.”

I nodded swiftly, still unused to the idea of these genuine friendships I’d made with the people in this cave. Rissa unfurled herself and padded over to me, laying back down on the ground and resting her head on my knee. My nerves settled, and for the first time since we landed in this nightmare, I felt the unease lifting.

By the time we’d eaten a dinner of cooked pheasant, our clothes had mostly dried and our eyelids were heavy with fatigue. We’d been awake for most of the night and the stress on our bodies had finally caught up to us. I watched Rissa’s yellow eyes glaze over as she lay next to Lark, her lids falling shut every few seconds until the fire would crackle loudly and her sharp ears would shoot up, her eyes flying open.

I leaned against Leo, the hypnotizing flames lulling me to sleep as I ran my fingers gently over the exposed skin at his back. It was amazing how my healing charms and his Shifter magic had almost entirely closed the wounds. He still moved stiffly, but compared to what it had looked like mere hours ago, it was nothing short of a miracle.

“You should get some rest,” he whispered before kissing my temple. I never thought I’d be the kind of woman to crave these simple touches, but I’d found over the past weeks that I loved how casually he showed his affection. How difficult it was for him to keep his hands away from me, even if it was a quick brush of his thumb against mine.

“Well, it turns out someone has gotten me in the bad habit of being unable to sleep without you at my side, so I guess you’re joining me,” I teased in a quiet voice.

“You know we can hear you,” Horace said from across the fire.

“Then don’t listen,” I retorted.

The guard looked over at Lark. “If we’re choosing sleeping partners for the night…”

She scoffed. “I’ll take my chances with the fox.”

Shrugging, he stoked the fire with a large stick and said, “Suit yourself. There’s a fifty percent chance I smell better, though.” He set down the stick and lumbered to his feet. “I’ll take first watch.”

The four of us spread out over the cave floor, the fire hot enough that its warmth covered the entirety of the space. Lark offered a goodnight and, true to her word, led Rissa over to the furthest corner and did her best to turn her gown into a padding to lay on. Within moments, I heard her soft snores bouncing off the walls.

Leo and I claimed a shadowed section near one of the other tunnel entrances. He motioned for me to rest on his arm, using him as a pillow while he stretched out on his side across the hard, stone floor, and tried to keep his back from touching the surface.

“Such a gentleman,” I said with a yawn, curling toward him and draping my arm over his chest. He pulled me closer to him with his free hand, his fingers digging into my waist through the fabric of my dress. I could feel how tight and rigid his muscles were.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered as I moved my head back to see his face. His eyes were tired and bloodshot, his jaw tensed beneath the dark scruff that had begun to grow thicker.

He met my questioning stare and softened. “Nothing. You should sleep, Rose.”

I used his chest to push up, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. “Try that again. ”

“So stubborn,” he said, tracing circles on the back of my hand. “This night has put me on edge, that’s all. Waking up and not knowing where we were, watching that creature in the tunnels throw you against the wall, finding my sister huddled in the dirt…” He shuddered and closed his eyes. “I know you’re both alright, but in those moments, I felt like I’d failed you. I didn’t know how to help either of you.”

My shoulders dipped. I laid back down next to him, intertwining our fingers and squeezing. “You didn’t fail us, Leo. We’re here now, together.”

“The worst part is that I can’t see what’s around the next corner. I don’t know what’s waiting for us when we open our eyes. This isn’t a trial of the Decemvirate anymore. It means so much more than that, and I hate not knowing what Gayl’s plan is.” His grip on my hand was so tight, his knuckles were turning white. “There’s a reason the only people besides challengers here are the Sentinels. He wants us gone. And if that’s my fate, so be it. But my sister is meant for more in this world. Horace and Lark don’t deserve to be punished for fighting for what they believe in. This all needs to end .”

I extricated myself from his grasp to rest my palm on his cheek. “It will, Leo. We’re going to get out of this— all of us—and we’ll make sure the empire knows what he’s done. We’ll take the crown from him and put someone in his place who will do what it takes to bring peace back. And”—I angled his head so he was forced to look at me—“your family…your father’s name, will be cleared. You should be proud of who you are, not hiding in the shadows for the rest of your life.”

He gave me a half smile. “You seem very sure of all of this.”

I shrugged. “If I’m wrong, then we can run away together.”

His lip quirked up. “Run away together? That’s your solution?”

“Why not? Somewhere nice and warm, but not too warm. Maybe near water.” I twisted my lips, pretending to think. “You know, this island wouldn’t be too bad. If it wasn’t trying to kill us.”

To my surprise, he didn’t laugh off my ridiculous offer. The corners of his eyes crinkled in contemplation as he brought his free arm up and lightly ran his thumb along my chin, my jaw, my lips. “I would run anywhere with you, Rose. Even if it means we run to our end, I would go with you.”

The words he’d said only a handful of hours ago at the ball echoed around me again. “I’ve already chosen to love you, Rose Wolff. Beyond sense, beyond reason. There is no part of you I do not choose.”

I’d never responded. Nox had interrupted, and even if he hadn’t, I wasn’t sure what I would have said. I didn’t have a quick retort, no joke to mask the gravity of his confession, no cloak to hide behind.

Love was an emotion, one I had reserved for as little number of people as possible. But it was also a choice, one I had actively avoided making for as long as I could remember.

Perhaps it looked different to everyone. Sweet nothings whispered in an ear, gifts and laughter and promises and secrets. Grand declarations under the stars. Stolen touches and heated looks, the feel of skin beneath your fingertips and passion that burned the world down.

And those were all true, I imagined.

But to me…love was a dagger pressed to a throat in the middle of a hidden hallway. Sharp tongues and writhing glares that made you come alive and come undone. An offer of friendship, an olive branch in a tempestuous sea of dread, a second chance when you didn’t deserve it.

I think I’d known the truth for a while. At the dress shop, Rissa told me I had a choice to make: if my happiness was worth the risk, or if I’d let my fear get in the way as I always had before.

Fates, I was afraid of so many things. So much so that I’d denied its very existence and tucked it away, claiming to be impervious, untouchable, unmarred. I was tired of it. Tired of letting it control me from the shadows like a ghost hanging over my shoulder.

I chose him . I chose happiness. However fleeting it may be.

“Let’s do it,” I said abruptly. “Run away. When this is all over, when Gayl is out of power and the curse is broken and all is right with the world, let’s go somewhere. Anywhere.”

This time, he did laugh. It was a quiet rumble I felt with a hand pressed into his chest, his eyes lighter than they’d been all night. “We can’t run away , Rose?—”

“Not for forever. Just…to get away from everything. To explore and be around people who don’t know us or our pasts. To be together .” I sat up and dragged him into a seated position with me, taking both of his hands in mine. The fire snapped low behind me, making Leo’s eyes gleam like coal set ablaze. “You told me that you’ve placed all of yourself in my hands. That I could either crush you or love you.” Slowly, I kissed his palms, a rush of emotion swelling in my chest. “And I choose to love you, Leo.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, not caring that his sister and friend slept across the cave, not caring that we were on a mysterious island fighting for our lives. In this moment, it was just us. A promise and a choice.

He broke away and cupped my cheek. “You are the last thing I expected, Rose Wolff.” His lips were a breath from mine, the words brushing against my skin like a prayer. “And I love you,” he murmured as his hands moved to grip my waist.

I smiled. “Say it again.”

He dipped his nose down to my neck, placing soft kisses that sent heat trailing through me. “I’ll say it however many times I have to. I love you, little wolf. When we get out of this, I’ll take you wherever you want.”

“Oh, really?” I leaned back and gave him a wicked smirk, which he then captured with his mouth.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he said with a smile.

“Not if I can help it,” I whispered.