Insatiable (Inferno Games #3)

20. Two Weeks Isn’t Enough

20

TWO WEEKS ISN’T ENOUGH

FELIX

I ’ve never let a woman spend the night in my bed before—not unless I intended to kick her out before dawn. I like my space, my freedom to spread out without the inconvenience of someone else in the way. But with Ro… I couldn’t bring myself to throw her out after last night. I wanted her there, her warmth pressed against me, her breathing slow and steady as she slept. Waking up with her curled at my side felt strange, but hell, it felt good. Now, I find myself studying her sleeping form like an idiot, like I don’t already know every inch of her by heart. Her hair’s a wild mess across the pillow, frizzy blonde strands splayed out, and her lips are parted just slightly, letting out a soft sigh every now and then. It hits me hard, this realization that her body feels like it was made to fit mine. The way her head rests on my chest, her hand draped across me—it’s so damn natural. It’s right. Carefully, almost against my own instincts, I brush a stray lock of hair from her face. Her skin’s warm, soft, like she’s never had a bad day in her life, and my chest tightens with something I can’t explain. It’s both exhilarating and terrifying, a strange twist of emotions I don’t usually allow myself to feel. I let out a low growl, frustrated at myself for keeping this at bay for so long just because of my own bullshit fears. Me, terrified—that’s a hell of a thing to admit. And yet, here I am, holding onto her like I’ve found something I didn’t even know I was looking for, and realizing that maybe, just maybe, I never want to let go. Ro stirs, her eyelids fluttering open, revealing those captivating brown eyes. She blinks up at me, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips. I never thought anything could scare me, but Ro blew all that out of the water. At first it was because I didn’t understand her. Then it was because I began to feel something for her. Now I’m terrified she’ll realize this has all been some huge mistake and leave.

But then it hits me—I’m the one leaving, and she’s the one staying. I swallow hard, pushing down whatever the hell it is that’s tightening in my chest.

“I have something to tell you,” I admit, my voice gruffer than I intended.

“Don’t tell me. You used to be a woman?”

I stare at her until her beautiful lips curl up into a grin. Fuck me. This is why she’s under my skin. She’s the only person that’s ever been able to tease me and get away with it. And I like it. All the atrocious banter between us… okay bullying on my part, was foreplay leading up to this.

“Not quite. I spoke to Hades yesterday and asked him if I could swap places with you in the games.”

She doesn’t look surprised. She already knows.

“Twila told me,” she confirms.

A sudden realization hits me. “That’s why you came to me last night.”

She brushes her frizzy blonde hair back, avoiding my gaze. “That might have been part of it,” she admits. “I also wanted to see if there was more to us than just a one-time drunken fumble.”

“And is there?”

She hesitates, then sniffs the air with a dry smile. “I guess now it’s a two-time fumble, and since I don’t smell any alcohol on you... maybe it is more. I don’t know. I think I want it to be more, but...”

Her voice trails off, leaving the unspoken doubt hanging between us. I know what she’s thinking. She doesn’t trust me—not that I’ve given her any real reason to. Part of me still resents her, hates her even. But those darker parts of myself, the ones that once craved perfection and power, are slowly being won over by her. It’s strange, this unfamiliar feeling of wanting something deeper. Not something I’m used to—nor something I’ll have the chance to get used to.

Ro and I were over the moment she was out of the games. In a week or so, we’ll be in different circles of Hell. I wait for that sense of relief, the comfort of knowing I’ll be free of this... complication. But instead, what rises is a suffocating urge to keep her with me, no matter what.

“Fuck!” I whisper harshly, running my hands through my hair. I get up out of the bed, feeling powerless. It’s not a feeling I’m used to. Ro sits up and pulls the covers up to her neck. Fear now etches her features. Fear that I’ve caused. In all the times I’ve been nasty to her and threatened her, not once did she look at me with anything but an expression of defiance.

“Anthura wouldn’t let me. She told me if I stay here and you move on, she’ll torture you and the baby.” The bile rises in my throat, bitter and acidic, at the thought of what Anthura is capable of.

Ro gives a sad, mirthless snort. “I kinda figured that part out for myself, Barclay.”

Once again, I’m left staring at her. She knew the whole time and yet she still came to me.

“I can’t save you,” I reiterate. “Whatever I do, my hands are tied by Anthura.”

“I’m sure it’s not the first time she’s tied you up. Maybe the first time, metaphorically speaking.”

Fuck. I can’t do this. With every ounce of energy I posses, I push my dresser back in front of the door, almost slamming it against the door frame.

“You can’t keep her out forever,” Ro says as I get back into bed with her.

“No, but I can keep her out long enough for the games to move onto the next circle. Anthura doesn’t give a flying fuck about me, but she does want to get through the games. She wants it more than anything. Once she finds that I’m not leaving, she’ll go through by herself.

“You’re not leaving?”

I run my hand over her belly, feeling the gentle swell and curve of it.

Ro pulls back, almost stumbling out of bed. “You can’t do that. You can’t leave the games for me.”

It wasn’t the reaction I expected.

“Why the fuck not? Last night was fucking amazing. You are fucking amazing and you’re carrying my child. Why wouldn’t I stay?”

She gapes at me as though I’ve said something stupid. Until I met Ro, I was always cocksure about everything I said, but now I fumble over everything I say.

“Two weeks ago, you couldn’t stand the sight of me. Two weeks ago, you called me a bitch. Two weeks ago, you’d gladly have seen me dead and would probably have danced on my grave, Barclay.”

Her words cut through me like a knife. Her voice isn’t even raised, but I can see a hint of panic as though she’s trying to hide her emotions as she pulls her dress over her head. The worst thing is, every word she’s saying is true. Two weeks ago, I would have pushed her under a bus if it meant securing my place in the games.

“This isn’t two weeks ago. This is now, and I’m willing to stay here in Gluttony for you and for our child.”

She shakes her head sadly, no longer hiding her emotions. “Two weeks might be enough to forget everything you said and did to me, but it’s not enough for me. The sex I had with you made me feel things I didn’t think possible and I’m sure you think you’ve changed, but it’s not enough. It’s nowhere close to being enough. Go and do the third trial and get through to the next circle.”

Without a glance back, she walks across the room to the other door, not the one barricaded by the dresser. She opens it and steps through, her back still to me.

“Goodbye, Barclay.”

And just like that, she’s gone, taking my heart and my sanity with her.