Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

2. Tommy

CHAPTER TWO

TOMMY

Sweat drips down my temples and slides between my shoulder blades, my damp shirt stuck to my overheated skin. After miles of running followed by hundreds of stairs, I’m beat, but I’ve finally reached the summit of the mountain I call home. Because of the long climb, this spot’s an ideal place to go when I want to be alone with my thoughts.

I stop short when I see Cait, sitting cross-legged in the twilit grass. She pats the ground next to her.

Well, as alone as I ever am.

“I knew I’d find you here,” she says. “Where were you? You didn’t meet us after guard duty.”

I shrug. “I ran a few extra miles instead. Sorry. Should’ve told you.”

Though I try not to think of the girl, her face floats across my mind anyway.

Mel.

“Would’ve been nice. You missed the big news. Jack and Zara procured intel on the BioAgent shipment. It’s due to set out in nine weeks.”

“Yeah? That’s good. Gives us time to nab the bill of lading.”

“Mm-hm. Lisa’s pleased.”

I sigh as I drop to the ground by Cait’s side. Running through the woods with Mel earlier felt amazing. Free. For a short time, it was easy to pretend I was normal.

But I’m not. I have no life, no future aboveground.

“You know what I don’t get, though?” Cait fiddles with the end of her long blond braid, a little crease between her brows. Worried. “Why go after this shipment at all? Lisa’s top objective has always been to keep the Resistance safe. And yeah, we make it our job to disrupt as many weapons deals as possible, to siphon the Organization’s source of profit and power. That I understand. But this mission? Dangerous to us all with a miniscule chance for success.”

I frown. Cait rarely questions our assignments. In fact, this might be a first. “Lisa wouldn’t risk our safety without good reason. If the BioAgent’s important enough to go after, we go after it.”

“Oh, I’m not arguing that. Lisa knows best, and it’s not like we don’t risk our lives regularly. I just want to understand her logic. When I’m responsible for these decisions one day, I need to be sure I’m making good ones. Breaking into Levett Tech is a whole new level of danger. What if someone’s caught?”

Cait drops her braid and pins me with her sharp gray stare. “First and foremost, we’re meant to protect the hunted. Aka each other. If we were this bold all the time, we’d be dead by now. And maybe that seems like selfish thinking, but if we’re dead, we can’t save others anymore either.”

It’s the same thing she told me when I landed on the Resistance’s doorstep five years ago with an Organization target on my back. The corrupt, highly dangerous network of homegrown extremists are baked into the fabric of Levett Technologies itself. They thrive there, hidden in plain sight, perfectly placed to funnel Levett weapons to terrorist groups for large sums of money, and to keep plenty for their domestic backers as well.

They’re too powerful to make a significant move against. But we chip away at their success by intercepting their smaller arms shipments and stealing their weapons when we can.

“The BioAgent could kill a lot of people,” I remind her. “It’s higher profile than our usual targets, sure, but it’s a weapon of mass destruction. It’s worth pursuing. Remember, Lisa has more information than we do. When you’re in charge, you will too. You’ll make the right calls.”

Cait gives me a small smile. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. Thanks.”

With effort, I grin back, then force myself to study the view, to really see the forest below, swathed in shadow. Here and there, little points of light—towns—twinkle in the dark like clusters of golden stars. Beyond the valley, soaring mountains stand like sentinels, black against a fierce red-and-orange sunset. It’s like the land behind them is on fire, a violent sort of splendor.

My fingers twitch, my mind already full of colors, of brushstrokes. This painting might be worth breaking into my watercolors for, but no. I can’t. I don’t have enough supplies left to do the scene justice.

Cait sighs, and I glance sideways at her again. She’s leaning back on her hands, her now-relaxed smile visible in the half-light. She’s one of the only people who truly know me, and yet she won’t understand my desire—no, my need—to break the rules. To feel free, just one more time.

To Cait, duty and honor are everything.

Turning her gray eyes from the view, she peers into my face. The corners of her mouth tug down into a pout. “Are you all right? You seem kind of weird tonight.”

“It’s strange a place so wild and open could be a prison, don’t you think?”

She tilts her head, confusion touching her exquisite features.

Even after five years, I’m not immune to Cait’s beauty. Those silver eyes, the freckles sprinkled over her nose, that long blond hair, those lips. Regardless, she’s never been more than a friend to me.

She’s still staring, looking worried again. I raise my eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice is quiet, sympathetic, not at all impatient like it should be.

Where to begin?

Cait knows how the restrictions designed to keep the Resistance safe affect me, how they tighten my chest and steal the air from my lungs. Perhaps I should start by explaining that, for a few short hours today, I was free of the ever-present weight in my gut. For once I felt like any other guy. Maybe she would understand.

Still I delay, my intestines curling into knots.

Cait’s eyebrows pull together. “I know you’ve been struggling lately. Do you want to talk about it?”

I frown. There’s no way to justify what I did. I broke the Resistance’s most fundamental rule. They saved my life, and I spoke to someone on the outside anyway. Worse, I made plans to do it again tomorrow. Cait will go ballistic.

But I need to tell her. If she doesn’t agree to cover for me, there’s no way I’ll be able to sneak out and meet Mel in the morning.

“Or not,” Cait mutters. She leans her head against my shoulder.

“No, you’re right.” It’s easier now I’m not looking at her. “I met someone today. A runner, lost in the woods. I helped her find her way out.” Throat dry, I pause.

Cait only sighs. “Sounds like she’s lucky you found her. I hope you were careful.”

For a moment, her lack of ire surprises me. I expected worse. Of course, it’s what I have to say next that’ll tick her off.

“I said I’d run with her again tomorrow.”

Cait pulls back. “That’s not very nice. She’ll expect you. Why would you do that?”

She hasn’t guessed I intend to follow through. I drop my eyes, ashamed, but knowing I’ll run with Mel anyway. It can’t be dangerous when she has no idea who I am.

I just have to tell Cait why I need this, to make her understand. She has to understand.

“Because I’m planning on going.”

Cait’s expression shifts from disapproving to full-on horrified. “What do you mean? You know you can’t. It’s not safe. Our anonymity is our best protection. Resistance 101.”

I take Cait’s hands in mine, staring into those stormy eyes. I want her to see the depth of my sincerity. My words blister with it. “I know. Believe me, I know. I’ll be careful, and I’ll only run with her one more time. Maybe two.”

A chilly breeze rustles through the grass around us, blowing tendrils of golden hair across Cait’s face. I sweep the strands back as I pause, gathering my thoughts. This is about so much more than me wanting to meet up with some girl.

I belong to the Resistance. I will until I die. Sometimes, late at night, I imagine running away and never looking back. Living a normal life, going out with friends, maybe even selling my paintings.

But I can’t run. I can’t escape.

That’s usually when I run out of air.

“I need this. Today, I felt … free. For the first time in years, I could breathe. I don’t want to give that up. Not yet.”

Cait looks away for a moment, then scowls at me, eyes hard. But she’s not yelling. She’s not shooting me down.

Encouraged, I go on. “That’s how it felt. Like a breath of fresh air. I know I can’t be friends with this girl or see her more than a few times. And I won’t tell her anything. It’s just nice to be a different person for a short while. While I was with her, I was someone whose future was limitless. Please, Cait. Cover for me.”

Cait’s eyes blaze. She yanks her hands from mine. “I know you don’t love this life, but this is your life. This is your family. That choice will put us all at risk. Who knows who that girl is? She could be anyone. An Organization spy. How can you even consider this?”

The words slice through me like white-hot daggers. She’s right.

I’ll never be free.

A familiar pressure closes in, setting my heart racing and crushing the breath from my lungs. I launch to my feet, stumble away from Cait. It’s not long before I have to drop to my knees. Gasp for air.

Though I try, I can’t push the ridiculous weakness away. I can’t slow the pounding in my chest. I can’t erase the sting behind my eyes.

The world spins around me, shrinking, tightening.

And then Cait is there, kneeling in front of me.

“You really need this, don’t you?”

The walls of my invisible prison narrow, and the yearning in my soul to feel free again, one more time, is overpowering. I’m going to do this, and I feel sick. What kind of a person am I?

“Yes,” I breathe.

The silence strains tight as the fierce sunset fades beyond the mountains. The purple shadows darken to black.

After what feels like an eternity, she whispers, “I guess I can look the other way, if you promise to be careful.”

Shame prickles over my skin. “Thank you,” I mumble. “I promise.”

Cait pulls me to my feet. “I won’t lie for you, though. The most I can do is not rat you out.”

I know agreeing to this is costing her. I know she must judge my decision harshly. And yet, here she is.

Cait is a true friend. Selfless. A warm, glowing feeling wells in my chest.

“Thank you,” I whisper again. “I won’t let you down. Once or twice, and that’s it. I’ll get this out of my system and never think of it again.”

“Just don’t get caught.”

Cait pulls away, heading toward a nearby jumble of boulders. There’s an entrance to the extensive cave system beneath our feet hidden within the rocks. “We should get back.”

I follow her, unable to keep a wide smile from breaking across my face. I’m tempting fate, meeting Mel again. But how can I resist shedding my bonds one last time?

As I slip through a gap in the rocks, I take another look at the view. This time, I don’t see a prison. I see the endless sky above, dusted with a million glittering stars. Wild, beautiful … free.