Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

4. Tommy

CHAPTER FOUR

TOMMY

Doing the right thing shouldn’t suck so much.

I lie on my bed in the dark, hands behind my head, a defeated sort of numbness dripping through my blood. All last night I tossed and turned as Cait’s words burrowed into my brain and seeped under my skin.

This is your life. This is your family. That choice will put us all at risk.

Guilt and shame ate me alive, my selfishness laid bare before the imagined, disgusted faces of my loved ones.

Harmless as it would’ve been to run with Mel just once more, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t put the self-centered impulse above my family’s safety.

So I didn’t. When morning came, I stayed here. I stood her up.

I’ll never be free.

I press my forearm over my eyes, trying to block Mel’s image out of my head so I can rest, but she lingers there, behind my lids. Like she did all day while I ran through the forest on guard duty.

It’s not only the transient freedom she represents that’s stuck on my mind. Not just the way I interacted with her as if I’m your average twenty-year-old looking forward to a life of infinite opportunity. It’s … well, it’s Mel herself.

She’s striking to look at, of course, with long, silk-smooth runner’s legs and clear blue eyes that sparkle even in the shade, and she projects a comforting presence, kind and sweet. Like sinking into a warm bed after a day spent on patrol in the cold, or the first bite of Mom’s homemade apple pie.

But that’s not it either. There’s more.

She’s strangely familiar. Not enough to have noticed when I was with her, but the more I think about her, the more apparent it is.

Why? Have we met before?

Unlikely. I haven’t traveled much, and she’s not from Clearwater. I’d remember a face like hers.

The odd familiarity is driving me crazy. I can’t get Mel out of my head.

Footsteps sound in the hall beyond my door. I pay them no mind. It’s probably whoever’s on Fire Duty tonight. Even at this hour, the lanterns need to stay lit.

The tapping slows, and my door bangs open with enough force to bounce off the rocky wall with a thunderous crash.

In one smooth motion, I spin off the bed and raise my fists. As my eyes adjust to the flickering light, I straighten up, surprised.

A woman in her mid-forties stands in the doorway, usual cloud of curly hair hidden under a shiny silk bonnet. A matching black robe is slung over her shoulders, flannel PJs visible underneath.

Lisa, head of the Resistance.

But why is she here, in my room, at one in the morning? Something must be seriously wrong.

Cait’s on patrol. With a flash of fear, I picture her surrounded by enemies in the dark woods.

“What is it? What happened?”

Lisa’s mouth is a hard line. Her face gives nothing away. “Come with me.”

Without waiting for a response, she turns on her heel and glides down the hall.

Wary, I follow her through the network of granite passages that make up our home. Once, I found the labyrinth of burrow-like corridors fascinating. With their floors of smooth stone and craggy irregular walls, the caves felt like something out of a fairy tale, a cross between a medieval castle and a giant rabbit den. Even the lanterns, hung at measured intervals, added to the magic with their dancing yellow light.

Now, after five years, walking through the caves is as normal as strolling the halls of my high school used to be, only instead of football players and classrooms, there are gun-wielding field agents and gyms where we learn to kill our enemies.

As it becomes clear Lisa is heading for her office, my confusion intensifies. She typically brings me here to reprimand me for the various shenanigans I get into with Cait, Hunter, Vik, and Sam. Pulling pranks, starting food fights, making a racket in the halls. But if this were about something like that, Lisa would wait until tomorrow to scold me.

My stomach tightens, worry for Cait buzzing in my mind. She might be our best operative, but even she isn’t immune to death. Or worse, capture. Interrogation.

Lisa throws open her door and stands back to let me pass.

Her office resembles the rest of the caves. Cracked granite walls, lanterns, flat stone floor, large fireplace hewn into the rock. A roaring fire is lit in the grate and a candle burns on her simple wooden desk, next to her computer.

Though electricity is available in certain areas, including here, Lisa doesn’t waste the precious resource on lighting. Sometimes, I wish she would, that we could splurge a bit for some common comforts. But our water turbine only produces so much energy. Better to power vital things, like the massive air exchange system which keeps the caves livable and disperses our smoke footprint, than to have lights and television and normal toilets.

Lisa sits down behind her desk without a word. It’s almost like she’s waiting for me to say something.

I stare. After several long moments, she says, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Her tone doesn’t hint at anger, but her eyes do. Their usual liquid warmth has solidified into a sharp onyx accusation. I think through every dumb or reckless thing I’ve done in the past week, hoping I’m in trouble for anything other than my time with Mel. But Sam hasn’t been around much since Hunter twisted his ankle, and without them, Cait and Vik’s good influence is rubbing off on me. There’s nothing else.

I grit my teeth. Cait.

She promised not to rat.

A sharp stab of anger fizzes through me. Was I really supposed to leave a scared, lost girl alone so deep in the woods?

Yes.

I shift from foot to foot, fingers brushing over the braided twine on my wrist, the last thing Mom gave me before she died. I reach for it when I need her strength, her love, or her guidance, but no brilliant explanation for my poor behavior pops into my head. When I helped Mel, I broke the rules, plain and simple.

Lisa gestures at the computer in front of her. “I want to show you something.”

I make my way around the desk and lean in, hands on the back of her chair. A feed from Levett Tech’s internal CCTV is pulled up on her screen. I recognize the spot immediately as the hall outside their record storage rooms.

I’ve spent countless hours monitoring live footage of Levett’s CCTV. Nothing ever happens in this hallway. What could Lisa want to show me here, of all places?

Onscreen, the sun shines through the windows, and the person in the hall doesn’t move. This isn’t a live feed. It must be a recording of earlier events, a recording Lisa’s paused.

I study the frozen image. How could this relate to me? It doesn’t make any sense.

That’s when I recognize her.

Mel.

Shock locks me in place.

She looks different, dressed for business in a white blouse, a long black skirt, and heels. Dark silky hair flows down her back like an inky waterfall. The way the skirt clings to her curves pulls my attention, and I find myself staring a second too long. A jolt of jittery energy rocks through my core.

It’s not like I hadn’t known Mel was attractive, but I’d been trying not to notice. Willing myself not to see. Now, with her frozen figure in front of me, looking like that, I can’t not see. She’s stunning. Radiant.

Clearing my throat, I take a step back, cross my arms, and avert my eyes.

Fuck. She must work at Levett Tech.

“Who is that?” I ask with put-on ignorance.

Lisa swivels in her chair, watching me. “I know what you did yesterday morning. Do you really think I’m not aware of what goes on in my own home?”

My mind flashes to Hunter and Sam. To June.

No, Lisa. You don’t know everything.

“And with her, of all people. Watch. This will be an important lesson for you.”

Lisa turns back to the computer. I lean in again, eyes trained on Mel. A wave of nausea unfurls in the pit of my stomach.

I put the Resistance in danger by associating with her.

Cait was right.

Lisa presses play, and Mel moves. She glances around, looking nervous, then pulls a card from her pocket and scans it. As she slinks through the door, Lisa’s screen switches to a different view, one from within the room.

Mel fidgets just inside, inspecting the shelves. She must see what she’s looking for, because she strides along one of the aisles and pulls a box down. She tosses the lid aside, tearing out papers one by one. It’s easy to see her frustration mount.

Soon the box is empty, its contents scattered. She doesn’t pause, but goes for the next box, and the next. I squint, trying to make out what she’s looking at, but I can’t see enough detail to learn anything.

Lisa switches off her computer and I stare at the blank screen, my thoughts a snarl. Does Mel know who she’s working for, or is she innocent? If she’s innocent, why is she digging through Levett’s files, looking for all the world like she’s trying not to get caught?

“What did I just see?” I manage to choke out.

Lisa glances up, dead serious. “You saw what can happen if you associate with people outside the Resistance. That girl is being tailed by the Organization, thanks to the stunt she pulled today. It’s lucky for all of us this didn’t happen before you helped her, or she would have led them straight to you. And then, through you, they would have found us. Don’t think for a second they’ve forgotten who you are.”

She adjusts her glasses, then goes on. “I don’t make these rules up for kicks, you know.”

My heart sinks through the soles of my feet, and suddenly I can’t breathe. If Mel’s become a target of the Organization’s, she’s as good as dead.

I force my numb lips to move. “Are you sure?”

Lisa nods. “Quite. I hacked Mr. Edwards’s communications.”

My skin ices over at the mention of the Organization’s shadowy, faceless leader. There’s no hope for Mel, then. None at all.

Lisa’s mouth thins. “Do I have your word you will never do something like this again? I know you thought it was harmless, that you wanted to help her, but?—”

“I don’t understand. What was Mel—the girl—doing in there?”

Lisa’s expression is odd. It almost looks mournful. “You don’t recognize her?”

Huh. The inexplicable familiarity driving me insane—Lisa’s confirming it. I’ve met Mel before. Why don’t I remember her?

Lisa waits a moment. When I don’t answer, she continues, “That’s Melanie Snow. Reyna Snow’s daughter. They look just alike. I thought…”

Shock slams into me, and I’m wrenched into a memory so sharp and clear I almost believe it’s real. I can feel it; I can smell it; I can taste the terror of it, a metallic tang on my tongue.

I’m on my stomach in the narrow gap under my parents’ bed, peering out past the airy green bed skirt. I can’t see much of the room from here, but I can see enough. Bright crimson pools soak into the beige carpet.

So much blood.

Doesn’t matter who’s lost the most. The savage intruders don’t care. Dad’s face presses into the mire on the rug. I know it’s him, but I can’t recognize him beneath his injuries. No way is he alive.

Mom and Mrs. Snow are still conscious, kneeling among a forest of black-booted feet. I can see their knees. Their fleecy PJ bottoms are stained red.

“We’re not getting anywhere,” a man complains.

You’ve got the wrong people! I try to shout, but the words don’t pass my frozen lips.

“Let’s bring ’em back to base. That’ll get ’em talkin’.”

No! You’re wrong! They don’t know anything!

Cold sweat dews on my forehead as the black boots surround Dad and the prone form of Mr. Snow. They’re hauled from the room while Mom and Mrs. Snow are yanked to their feet. Mom’s marched out on shaky legs, but Mrs. Snow sags. She’s too hurt to hold her own weight.

The man supporting her is shouting, his words running together. Mrs. Snow’s rough voice hurls insults back.

How is she so brave?

The man yells something about respect. He throws her to the ground; she lands in front of where I lie, sick and trembling, tears burning down my cheeks. Her face is a mask of puffy bruises and raw flesh. Blood runs from her nose and mouth, over her lips and down her chin. I wouldn’t recognize her if not for her eyes.

For one eternal moment, they blaze into mine. They burn with an icy fire which shocks me with its brilliance. Nowhere in their depths is there any trace of fear. Her hand twitches to her lips, as if to wipe away blood … but she’s shushing me.

Mom screams from the hall ?—

With a tremendous effort, I shut the memory down, smother it beneath an iron wall. The world tilts, shrinks, closes in. Panting, I sink to the floor and put my head between my knees. My eyes burn.

Lisa moves closer. “Tommy, honey, it’s all right. No harm done. But you can’t contact Melanie again. It’s too dangerous.”

Her words barely touch the surface of my panic.

Come on. Pull it together.

My fingertips skim over my bracelet as I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe deeply. I must block this memory out, or others will follow. The screams. Bones cracking. Metal pounding into flesh. Mom’s voice, ragged. Begging.

Slowly, the ringing in my ears dies out, the wobble and shimmer that blurs my sight lifts.

When the world holds steady, I climb to my feet. Lisa gazes at me, dark eyes full of concern. She’s the closest thing I have to a mom now. She cares about me. She cares about us all.

I can’t believe I came so close to compromising our security—to hurting my adopted family. What must Lisa think of me, of my selfishness and stupidity? What must Cait think? No wonder she turned me in.

In spite of her worry, Lisa’s expression hardens a little. “You understand you absolutely cannot contact Melanie again?”

I know I can’t. But what about Mel?

A surge of kinship washes through me. Mel and I are the same, alone in the world. She lost everything too. And she’s in danger. She probably doesn’t even know it.

I gaze at Lisa. How can we leave Mel in this mess? If we do nothing, she’ll get hurt, and it will be my fault for keeping her in the dark. But if she’s being tailed, there’s no way I can safely warn her. I’ll lead the Organization straight to our doorstep.

Frowning, I look away.

“Tommy?” Lisa’s stern now.

“I won’t.” Turning back, I glare at her. “What about Mel, though? She’s going to get hurt.”

Lisa shrugs, eyes lined with guilt. “I doubt it. She’s probably looking for clues about her parents, but she has no idea what she’s doing. She’ll poke around, find nothing, and give up. The Organization knows she’s Reyna and Max’s daughter, but they won’t act unless they believe she’s a threat. It wouldn’t be worth the trouble for them to cover up another disappearance. Still, they’re nothing if not careful. They’ll follow her as a precaution for a while.”

Something tightens around my heart. I see again the fiery gaze of Reyna Snow, locking eyes with me just before being dragged away to her death, and I blink back tears.

Lisa’s expression softens. “We can’t guard her needlessly. We don’t have the people to spare. But I’ll keep an eye out, okay? If I see she’s in true danger, we’ll do everything in our power to save her. It won’t be necessary, though. I’m sure of that.”

I nod, but I know in my heart I should do more.

Satisfied with my acquiescence, Lisa looks to the door. A dismissal.

As I leave, a heavy cloud of remorse takes root in my soul. I didn’t save Reyna, but I can protect her daughter. I should.

No. The Resistance has to come first. These people took me in, sheltered me, healed me. More than that, they have given up everything, everything, to shield others from the Organization. My parents died for them. I can’t compromise their security again.

The trip back to my room takes a lifetime. When I arrive, I slog my way to the bed and collapse on top of the covers.

Lying in the dark, I’m tormented by a specific mental picture.

It’s Mel. Her face is a mask of puffy bruises and raw flesh. Blood runs from her nose and mouth, over her lips and down her chin.

I wouldn’t recognize her, if not for her eyes.