Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

17. Mel

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

MEL

Higher and higher I climb, scrambling over cracked boulders and mossy logs. Golden sunshine filters down through the trees, and the swaying branches make glowing patches of light dance across the forest floor. The sun’s warmth kisses my cheeks. My nose. My eyelids.

Oh, how I’ve missed being outside.

Hand over hand, I pull myself up the rocky mountain face. There’s a brightness ahead which tells me I’ve almost broken through the tree line. A compulsion to reach the buttery glow overwhelms me, and I pick up the pace, scraping my palms on the jagged stone.

At last, I heave myself over the cliff’s edge and the forest falls away behind me. The sunlight here is different than I expected. Harsher. It glares off endless, barren shelves of granite.

A pulse of nervous energy thrums in my chest. It’s here, what I’m looking for. So close.

I have to find it.

I run forward, tripping over my own feet, searching frantically but seeing nothing, nothing, nothing except a dark puddle, just ahead.

Wary, I inch closer.

I was wrong. It’s not a puddle.

It’s a stream.

A stream of thick, red liquid, creeping lazily over the striated stone.

The world jolts, my stomach and my fists clench. Icy spires of fear breathe up my back, lift the hair on my neck.

Slowly, I raise my eyes.

A woman stands before me, feet immersed in the crimson river. She’s not of this world. No, she’s ethereal, with perfect, moon bright skin and a crown of white gold hair. Her ice-blue eyes are lifeless.

My heart fractures at the sight.

Mom.

With a lurch, I’m tumbling backward over rough granite. The world spins, my own blood-curdling shriek all I can hear.

Belly pressed against freezing stone, I end up under something long, dark, and flat, staring into tormented green-and-gold eyes.

A bed. I’m under a bed.

Tommy stares back, face streaked with blood and tears. The horrible river is coming, inching toward us. It flows under the bed, staining my hands, soaking into my shirt, sliding over my skin.

“Don’t look,” Tommy whispers.

With an abruptness that leaves me floundering, I’m tangled in a straitjacket of blankets, choking on screams in the dark. Cold sweat coats my face, washed away seconds later by the tears boiling down my cheeks.

I can still feel the blood, its metallic tang sharp in my nose. My skin crawls.

Not real. Not real.

After a few steadying breaths, I extract myself from the blankets to check my deadbolt.

In the four weeks since I learned how my parents died, there have been three occasions when I felt like someone might’ve trespassed in my room when I wasn’t here.

The clues were small. Notebook moved, maybe. Trash spilled. Did I knock it over?

I thought I was imagining things. After the third incident, I wasn’t so sure. There are plenty of people in the Resistance who still don’t trust me, and I don’t know how far they might go to eliminate the threat they think I pose. Locking the door makes me feel better, so I do. Every night.

Yesterday was no exception. I remember sliding the bolt home before going to sleep, but I’m too rattled not to look.

Once I’m satisfied my room is secure, I stoke the fire and drag my comforter to the floor to curl up in front of the hearth. After that nightmare, I don’t want to go back to bed.

If only I felt settled enough to write, I could channel this feeling onto the page, get it out of my system. Maybe if I think about something else first. Let my heart slow a bit.

The problem is, there’s not much exciting about my daily life to reflect on. Eight hours a day, nearly every day, I work wherever I’m needed. Sam’s usually by my side, except on Mondays and Thursdays, when he’s off training to be a medic. Our job as members of the maintenance team is to keep the caves livable through completing the wide variety of chores I’ve been learning since I arrived.

You’d think this would get old, but Sam makes work fun. He’s got a sunny aura and a wicked sense of humor, yet he’s kind. Restful. It’s easy to be around him.

One afternoon a couple weeks ago, I was surprised to learn he, Tommy, Cait, Vik, and Hunter are usually inseparable. Elbow-deep in soapy dishes, I pointed out I’ve never seen them all together.

“Well, things are weird right now,” Sam replied as he took the clean dish I handed him and toweled it dry. “We’ve been fighting. Cait and Tommy most of all.”

“Why?” I asked. Tommy and I train together every day after work, either at the shooting range or on the sparring mat. Cait hasn’t attended my lessons since the first one. “Is it because of me?”

Sam frowned a little, stacking the clean dish and taking another. “Yeah. Sorry. She doesn’t want you around Tommy. Or me, for that matter.”

I knew it.

“Are they … together?” I forced the question through my teeth, trying without success to ignore the envy pricking at my heart.

Sam laughed. “No, little Miss Jealous. They’re not. But Cait does care about him.”

Heat rose up my neck and spread over my cheeks. “I’m not jealous!”

“Yeah, sure. Save it for someone who believes it.” Sam poked me in the ribs.

I snorted, jabbing him right back and leaving a big, soapy mark on his T-shirt. “You’re not much of a gentleman, are you?”

Sam’s face filled with horror. “What fun would that be?”

I snickered and shook my head. “Seriously, though. Is it tough? The five of you, always together? There must be history. Who’s hooked up with who? Tommy and Cait? You and Cait?”

Sam smirked. “Cait’s not really my type. As for Tommy and Cait, they’ve been dancing around something for years. They’re incredibly close, but officers aren’t allowed to date their subordinates. It’s too potentially compromising. Cait’s a team lead, she heads up her own special ops mission team, so Tommy’s off-limits.”

“Woah. That’s impressive.”

So they’re not together, but they’re … what? Cait’s strong and capable, not to mention unbelievably gorgeous. Head of her own mission team.

I would’ve thought she was everyone’s type.

“I know you’re not into Cait, but is there someone else?”

Sam chuckled. “Well … yeah, there’s someone .”

Uh-oh. Sam’s preference doesn’t run toward pale, impulsive, and clumsy, right?

It’s not that he isn’t worth having feelings for. He is. It’s just someone else has already snared my attention. Much to my chagrin.

I cleared my throat. “Who? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Sam gave me a once-over, eyes narrowed. “Can you keep a secret?”

My heart started to pound. “Um. Yes.”

“I’m seeing Hunter. You know, Hunter Zhang, on Cait’s mission team. He’s her second in command.”

Potent relief swept through me. I don’t want feelings to complicate my blossoming friendship with Sam.

“Wow.” I only know Hunter by sight, but he’s one strapping guy. All bronze skin and dark eyes and lean muscle.

He and Sam. Oh, how cute. I giggled, the mental picture tickling my heart.

Sam snorted. “Yeah. But you can’t tell anyone, okay? As Cait’s second, he’s an officer too. Off-limits for us peons. No one knows besides Tommy and Vik, and Hunter would kill me if he knew I told them.”

“Doesn’t it bother you, keeping your relationship a secret?”

“Nah. It’s not personal. Hunter’s title is important to him.”

Realizing I’d been scrubbing the same plate for like five minutes, I handed it over, throwing Sam a frown in the process. Something about his face said it did bother him. “How long have you been together?”

Sam took the dish, echoing my frown. “Almost two years.”

“And he thinks his title is more important than you?”

“No! It’s not like that. Hunter lost someone. He loves me, but he finds a great deal of purpose in going after the people who killed her. You probably understand that better than most.” Sam arched a brow, and I bit my lip.

I understand, yes. But it’s so unfair to Sam.

A loud pop pulls me back to my dark bedroom. I draw the blanket tighter around my shoulders as a shower of orange sparks drift up the shadowy chimney.

Ever since I found out about Sam and Hunter, I’ve kept a surreptitious eye on them. They don’t seem like more than friends, though Sam says they find ways to see each other romantically under the radar.

Mouth tight, I hug my knees to my chest. Hunter better be treating Sam well. No one deserves to be treated well more than Sam.

Except maybe Tommy.

They’ve been dancing around something for years.

This time, envy doesn’t prick at me so much as swallow me whole.

We’re friends now, but there’s still a certain distance between Tommy and me. I can’t put my finger on what it is or why it’s there, unless it has to do with my request for help unraveling what happened to Mom and Dad. Either way, considering how he makes me feel, I’m grateful.

It’s not the physical attraction that worries me, even though his smile has the power to steal my breath and every touch between us on the mat sends heat streaking through my core and up my spine. As we’ve gotten to know each other, our relationship has become deeper. He sees me. Accepts my shattered pieces as they are. Not even my best friends back home did that.

And even though Tommy acts like he doesn’t reciprocate more than my friendship, sometimes I’m not so sure. I could swear I’ve caught his eyes dropping to my lips mid-conversation, not to mention his attention definitely lingers a little too long from across the mess hall when he thinks I don’t notice.

It’s scary. The last thing I need is for a crush to compromise my purpose here.

Agitation jitters through my limbs, making me fidget. Now I think about it, how long has it been since I tried to sneak a peek at Lisa’s office? Since I’ve taken a “bathroom break” and poked around the storage room, looking for clues?

I have let myself become distracted.

Frowning, I glance up at the battery-powered alarm clock on my nightstand. 1:27 a.m.

Well, why not make up for it? Why not right now?

In next to no time, I’m dressed and creeping out of my room.

At this hour, the caves are quiet and still, the guttering lanterns throwing long shadows over the uneven walls. There’s always someone manning the CCTV room, as well as guarding the front entrance, but everyone else should be asleep.

As silently as I can, I slip through the empty corridors. My shoes tap against the stone floor, my breath too loud in my ears. Next time we train, I need to ask Tommy to teach me some basic stealth.

The lounge, the storage room, the kitchen, and the mess hall each yawn open, dark inside. The CCTV room is closed, a soft line of brightness visible beneath the door. Excellent.

I take a few careful steps beyond, squinting in the half-light.

That’s when I hear them.

Footsteps, echoing in the hall behind me. Coming closer.

I whirl.

A yellow glow illuminates the nearest corner, made brighter because the lanterns in this hall have sputtered low, burned almost to nothing.

My pulse thunders. I forgot about Fire Duty. Someone’s always changing out the lanterns, keeping the fires going day and night.

Without thinking, I dive into the dark kitchen. Whoever is out there is humming to themselves, off-key. Crouching in the shadows, I listen as they move up the hall.

After a minute, a middle-aged woman sashays into view, a cart of oil cans rattling in front of her.

It’s Julie Reed, a fellow maintenance team member. She trained me in the gardens, which thrive in a breathtaking greenhouse-like cavern, not long after I arrived. I annoyed her half to death asking questions about the Resistance until she told me off, then made me work in silence for the rest of the day. I haven’t spoken to her since, but I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a mole.

I can’t let her find me hiding in here like a criminal. She’ll take me straight to Lisa.

Framed in the door, Julie refills the oil in the only lantern I can see before moving on. I wait. She’ll have to come back this way when she’s done.

It takes forever, but eventually she passes again, cart rattling away.

When her footsteps have faded, I wait sixty seconds, then slip out of the kitchen and slink down the hall. This corridor ends in a split, the main hall branching off to the left. Straight ahead there’s nothing but a short walkway ending in what I assume is a simple closet.

I’m mid-turn, heading left, when something about that nondescript closet catches my eye.

It has a keyhole.

Why? None of the other rooms in the caves have locks, save for our bedrooms, the cells, and Lisa’s office.

Intrigued, I make my way over to the door. The handle looks normal. Plain.

I grasp the cold metal and twist.

Big surprise, it’s locked. Using both hands, I wrench at the knob.

When it doesn’t budge, I step back. A keyhole means a key. I’ll figure out where it is, swipe it, and try again another night. If only I knew what’s in there, though. I don’t want to take such a big risk if this is just a closet.

Grabbing the closest lantern off the wall, I sit on the floor by the mystery room. Then I lie flat on my stomach, peering through the crack under the door.

I can’t make out much, but the lantern does illuminate the first several inches of what looks like another, darker hall.

What could Lisa be keeping back there? Weapons? Information? Something about ‘the chip?’

I cup my hands around my eyes and focus on the dark, willing it to resolve into shapes. There’s a black shadow to the left, a half-oval, tall … and straight ahead?—

Without warning, I’m flipped onto my back and staring up into narrowed gray eyes. Ice floods my system.

Cait.

She’s straddling my hips, hatred chiseled into every hard line of her face.

Her hand tangles in my hair. I yell, pain ripping through my scalp as she yanks my head back. Sharp metal bites into my exposed throat.

A knife.

I start to gasp.

“I knew it,” she snarls.

“Please, I?—”

She leans forward, hissing in my face. “Your days are numbered, Melanie. You might have Tommy and Sam fooled, but not me. I know who you work for. I won’t let you hurt the people I love.”

“No, you’re wrong, I wasn’t, I’m not?—”

“I can’t wait to tell Lisa. You’ll finally get what’s coming to you.”

Cait jumps up and strides away, leaving me a shivering wreck on the floor. She doesn’t look back.

Shit.

Lisa might have let me stay, even given me an official place on the maintenance team, but she hasn’t decided whether to fully trust me yet. When Cait tells her I was trying to get through this door…

Tommy said bad things would happen if I kept investigating, that leadership would come down on me. That I’d get hurt.

I take several deep breaths, struggling to loosen my rigid muscles. My reason for snooping is innocent. If I go to Lisa now and explain why I was at this door, maybe she’ll listen. She already knows I want information on my parents.

But what if Cait doesn’t tell her? There’s no proof. There are no cameras in the caves. The CCTV Tommy and the others are always watching is from Levett Tech, not here.

Cait probably wants to scare me into confessing. If so, I should forget this ever happened, or I’ll risk retribution for nothing.

Fear churns like acid in my stomach. I can’t afford to make a wrong move.

I need Tommy and Sam.

No longer bothered about stealth, I sprint for my friends.

My heart hammers out a violent beat as I skid around the corner into the housing wing and crash to a stop outside Tommy’s door. I knock.

There’s no answer.

With a curse, I stride across the hall and rap on Sam’s door instead.

This time, I make out rustling. Soft footsteps pad across the floor, then the door cracks open, one bleary chocolate eye peeking out.

“Mel?” Sam croaks. He’s wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, with thick woolen socks.

“Can I come in? It’s urgent.”

“Of course.”

Sam stands aside. I slip past him on wobbly legs.

He eases the door closed and adds a log to his fire. As the flames lick up the dry wood, I sink into his desk chair and drop my head into my hands.

Sam kneels in front of me. “What’s going on? You look like hell. Wow, you’re shaking. Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

Sam’s brows pull together. “Why not?”

I throw him a helpless look. “Um. I did something I shouldn’t have done, and Cait caught me, and I don’t know the best way to handle it.”

Looking nauseated, Sam reaches up and strokes a finger over my windpipe, tracing the spot where Cait’s knife was. “What did she do?”

I swallow. “She … I didn’t hear her coming. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was trying to get through a locked door. She pinned me down and held her knife to my throat, which was terrifying, but?—”

Sam cuts me off with a low, indiscernible growl.

“Sam, listen. She said she was going to Lisa, and I’m sure that’s bad, and I don’t know what to do. I swear, I just wanted information on my parents, I’d never hurt you guys. Us! Never!”

My lip quivers, hysteria building in my throat. “What will happen to me now?”

Sam rocks back on his heels. The firelight glitters in his deep eyes. “I don’t know. I wish I could help. I’ll vouch for you and do whatever I can, but I don’t think…”

I tip my head back, willing away tears. Is it hopeless? I should’ve gone straight to Lisa instead of coming here. I shouldn’t have let Cait talk to her without me.

Too late now. I might as well see what Sam thinks of the plan I came up with. He could have some insight I don’t.

With an air of grasping at straws, I say, “I have an idea. But I don’t really know Lisa, and I wanted to see whether you think it would be smart.”

Sam motions for me to go on.

I stare down at my hands. “If I tell Lisa myself—if I own up to what I was doing—I thought maybe she’d give me another chance. Maybe she’d believe my motivations, see my honesty.”

I force myself to meet Sam’s gaze. “Cait might not tell her. Maybe she’s just trying to scare me. If she does say something, there won’t be any proof, just her word against mine. So, I could do nothing and hope this goes away. That’s another reason why I think telling Lisa myself would be good. It proves I’m trying to be up front and honest, rather than hiding things.”

The faintest ray of hope kindles in Sam’s grave stare. “You know, I think you’re right. Telling Lisa yourself is your best bet, maybe your only chance. You should do it. As soon as possible. Right now. I’ll go with you.” He holds out a hand.

Tension floods my stomach as I pull myself up. Sam wastes no time dragging me from his room and down the hall.

As we walk, he peeks my way, pensive. “You know what? Maybe you should offer Lisa something beyond the truth about this. To prove the extent of your loyalty.”

“I’d give anything. But what can I offer? I don’t have any knowledge, no special skills.”

“You do have special skills.” Sam’s eyes are bright, his familiar mischievous grin curling across his face. “I’ve seen you train with Tommy. You’re getting better on the mat, and you’re a hell of a good shot. Plus, you’ve been inside Levett Tech’s offices more recently than anyone else.”

If hitting the target occasionally means I’m a hell of a good shot, then I’m a ham sandwich, but I nod, frowning.

“There’s a mission happening there tomorrow. Maybe you should tell Lisa you want to help with it, as a show of trust. I think she’ll love that. I think it’s your ticket out of this!”

Hmm. I do know my way around Levett’s campus, but Lisa must too. And I’ll admit I’m better with guns than I’d have guessed, but I’m nowhere near ready to use one in the field, never mind engage in hand-to-hand combat. Sam’s lost his marbles. “Are you yanking my chain?”

His confident smile falters. “I’m dead serious. I think it would go a long way if you offered. Please, please do it. Who will make me look good at work if you’re gone?”

“Don’t be stupid. If you don’t want me to get hurt, don’t make asinine suggestions that will get me killed. And if you don’t want to get hurt, don’t joke around right now.”

Sam presses his lips together “I’m sorry. I know it’s not the time. I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t think it would mean something to Lisa. Why ask for my help if you weren’t going to even consider my advice?”

I fix my eyes on the tunnel ahead, chewing over Sam’s words.

He thinks I should ask for a mission.

A stream of colorful pictures run through my mind. Tommy taking down the best fighters in the Resistance with lethal grace. Cait pinning him to the floor, rock-solid as she presses her knife to his throat. The way they all move, so silent and steady, like wraiths.

I don’t measure up. I’ll die if I go on a mission now.

A new image: Sam, wide-eyed and pale in the semi-darkness of his bedroom.

He doesn’t think Lisa will believe me. That’s why he wants me to do this, because he knows it’s my only chance.

A mission may take me out, but if Lisa thinks I’m a traitor, she could kill me herself. Or imprison me for the rest of my life.

My empty stomach rolls. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

We turn the last corner, heading down the final long hall toward Lisa’s office. Sam’s smile is gentle. “Good.”

Despite the chaos inside, I give Sam a small smile in return, then cock my head, studying him. I’ve seen him train with the others. He’s quick, he’s scrappy, he’s smart in a fight.

“Why haven’t you requested a mission yourself?”

“I’m not really thought of for that kind of thing.” A bite of bitterness leaks through in his tone.

“Why not? Don’t you want to go on missions?”

Sam studies his fingers. After a moment, he says, “I’d love to, but I’ll do whatever helps the Resistance most, and that means serving on the maintenance team and studying to be a medic. They saved my life, you know. When I was an intern at Levett Tech, I figured out what was going on there. The Resistance risked themselves to get me out. I owe them everything.”

“I still don’t understand. Why not help by going on missions, if that’s what you want?”

Color stains Sam’s cheeks. He looks away. “I have an aptitude for medicine, and we need more medics. Plus, Lisa thinks I’d be a liability in the field.”

My jaw drops. How insulting. “Why?”

Sam glances back at me, lips pursed. “Well, it’s kind of my own fault she thinks that way. Remember what I told you about Hunter losing someone?”

“Yeah.”

“The person he lost was a sensitive soul. More lover than fighter. She was killed before I arrived here, when she froze up in the middle of a shootout. Couldn’t take the violence.”

I gasp, hand flying to my mouth, and Sam nods. “Yeah. Originally, I was slated to serve on Cait’s mission team with Tommy, Vik, and Hunter. That’s why the Resistance saved me in the first place. They needed young blood to fill June’s empty spot after she died. But I hated the idea of hurting anyone, even bad guys. The thought of killing a person made me sick.”

Sam pauses, eyes far away.

“The night before my first mission, I confessed to Hunter how much it bothered me. He begged me to step down from the team. I didn’t want to, but that was when he told me about June. Then he hit me with the most beautiful I’m falling for you speech you could imagine.”

“Oh, Sam. That’s heavy.”

“Yep. It was. I was really torn, but I was afraid if I was in the field with Hunter, he’d be distracted. Obviously I couldn’t tell Lisa anything that might hint at our relationship, so in order to bail on the team I said I didn’t think I could handle the violence of a mission. And yes, I would hate that part, but it’s not the real reason I quit. I did it for Hunter, and I’ve regretted it for a long time, but once that seed of doubt was sown, it was too late. No one wants an unreliable teammate when their life is on the line.”

Warmth unfurls in my heart. It means a lot that Sam’s confided in me. I wind an arm around his waist as we walk, giving him a small squeeze. “You know, it’s possible to be too self-sacrificing. Hiding your love, giving up your spot on the team. What has Hunter done for you? Your relationship seems kind of one-sided.”

Sam slings an arm over my shoulders. There’s nothing uncomfortable about his proximity, no underlying tension. It’s the warm embrace of a dear friend, and it feels like coming home. “I hear you. I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but he’s been through hell and back.”

Lisa’s office swims into view at the end of the hall, and my hands start to shake.

“Anyway, right now isn’t about me. It’s about you. You’ve got this, Mel.”

With a nod, Sam drops his arm. I hug my ribs.

For a moment, a river of phantom blood soaks my skin and stings my nose. I see Mom, her hair a glistening crown, her eyes dead.

A flush of ferocity pulses in my chest, even as chills prickle over my scalp. The reminder—of why I’m here, of what my parents endured—gives me courage. No matter what happens now, I will be strong.

Chin high, I knock: three sharp taps on Lisa’s door.