Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

38. Tommy

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

TOMMY

I’m slumped on the floor, leaning listlessly against the rough granite wall in a far corner of the night-black lounge. The barest flicker of yellow light from the hallway illuminates the crack under the closed door, and a matching dim glow limns the opening of tunnel to the garage, but it’s not enough to see by. In fact, it’s so dark I can barely make out Cait’s shape, even though she’s sitting so close we’re almost touching.

I wish she weren’t.

All week, I’ve been forced to abandon my favorite spot at the summit specifically to avoid her. Each night I get more creative, haunt new and weirder places, but it doesn’t matter. She always finds me.

Right now, it’s harder than usual to have her here. With Mel’s video twisting me into knots, I have no room left to tolerate her company.

I could’ve predicted this outcome. Mel’s plan wasn’t so much a failure as a catastrophic train wreck. She’s the most wanted person in the country.

The Organization won’t forget, even if it takes them fifty years to find her. And with her identity as Reyna’s daughter revealed, they’ve got her whole life history at their disposal.

Jagged peaks of stone bite into my back. I embrace the discomfort. The last thing I want to do is fall asleep. Even the horror that is my reality is better than facing my latest nightmares, than seeing Mel flayed and tortured and begging for mercy at the hands of some bulked-up brute.

I turn and punch the wall, a hiss breaking through my lips as pain bursts across my knuckles. I can’t escape the pictures. I can’t avoid the agony. I can’t bear it for another second.

“Hey.” Gentle fingers brush my arm, and I stiffen, the urge to pull away nearly overwhelming.

I’m trying. Truly, with everything I have. But as much as I owe Cait, all I see when I look at her is betrayal. I look into Cait’s eyes, the same eyes that flared with loathing as she condemned Mel, and I see my own failures too. Every mistake I’ve made, all the ways I’ve harmed the people I love, stacked up nice and neat in that gray stare.

I did everything wrong. My intentions were always good, but what does that matter when I couldn’t have hurt them worse if I tried.

“Shh,” Cait soothes, and I twist out from under her touch.

“Don’t.”

“Right. Sorry.” The word’s tinged with regret.

“Don’t be.”

She sucks in a breath—getting ready to speak, it sounds like. Instead, she pauses, shifts slightly. “Someone’s coming, out in the hall. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear this, but … it kind of sounds like Mel did when she tried to break into the library. I think she’s sneaking this way.”

I send Cait a frown she can’t see. Mel has no reason to sneak around anymore. Despite the media’s response today, she’s a local hero. I’ve never seen everyone so jazzed about one person’s ‘accomplishment.’

The thing is, Cait’s never wrong. Not when it comes to her flawless senses.

Raising my head, I tilt my ear toward the door. At first, I don’t hear much, but then yes, of course Cait’s right. Mel’s coming this way, and she’s trying to be stealthy, as only Mel would.

I’ve always found her inability to grasp stealth endearing. Now it draws my grief out, twisting it into new, excruciating shapes.

Cait and I listen to Mel’s approach, the only sound in the deep silence of the caves. Late as it is, no one else is wandering the hall. Most are asleep, the rest either on duty or still watching the news in Lisa’s office.

Mel’s careful steps halt outside the lounge, and I suck in a breath.

The door creaks open.

Her silhouette is stark against the dancing glow of the lanterns. There’s no missing the bulky M320 grenade launcher strapped to her hip. Before I can get a better look, she’s through the door and easing it closed, the darkness swallowing her whole.

What the fuck?

She’s got to be torn up about the video. Not so much for herself, but for everyone she wasn’t able to save.

She wouldn’t try and blow the pathogen on her own though, right? Not with so little experience. Not after the Organization tripled the number of guards watching over the BioAgent. And not after my total and utter failure to reach it resulted in Jack and Zara’s deaths.

The air is suddenly dense in my lungs.

Cait doesn’t react to Mel’s presence as she creeps across the room and disappears into the passage to the garage. In fact, Cait’s so still, I’m sure she isn’t breathing either.

The seconds tick by.

“Go to bed, Cait.”

She shifts in the dark, pulling her knees under her and facing me. “Tommy…”

I clench my jaw. “Go to bed.”

Cait fidgets for a moment. Then she says, soft and halting, “It-it’s her choice.”

Rage sizzles through me. “Like you give a shit.”

Cait doesn’t answer, and every second that passes flays my nerves more. Fighting with her will only slow me down.

I need to get her out of here. Quickly.

Gripping the rocky wall, I drag myself off the floor. “I just want to see what she’s doing, all right? And I don’t want you to come with me.”

Cait’s voice is stronger, if flat. “You know what she’s doing.”

“Then you know why I need to catch her. So, get out.” I jerk a thumb toward the door, my tone sharper than I intend. “Please,” I add, with a touch more tact. “She won’t listen to me if you’re there.”

Cait climbs to her feet. To my astonishment, she doesn’t react at all to my rude tone. “You’re just going to stop her, right? You’re not going with her? You swear?”

She sounds fragile, like she’s made of glass. It’s so jarring I gape in the direction of her soft breath.

“Yeah,” I finally rasp. “I swear.”

Cait doesn’t move. “What if she won’t listen?”

“Then she won’t listen. But I have to try. Go.”

The quiet between us swells, festers, and still she doesn’t move.

“Go!” I bark.

With a gasp, Cait races for the door. She wrenches it open and pauses on the threshold, her breath catching, faltering. I stare. I’ve hardly ever seen Cait truly cry, but she is now—she’s crying . My gut twists as she disappears, but I shove the guilt aside.

Seized by a rush of reckless abandon, I sprint into the dimly lit tunnel after Mel. I don’t know what I plan to do when I catch her. All I know is I can’t stand to let her slip away like this, to meet her death alone.

By the time I come up on her, we’re most of the way to the garage.

I take a moment to study her, a thrill humming through me. Her dark hair is pulled back in a thick, shining braid that runs from the crown of her head down her back. A tight-fitting, long-sleeved black shirt hugs her lithe body like a second skin, highlighting every curve. She’s wearing tactical gloves but no vest, mask, or hood. She’s got a pistol strapped to her thigh, and the grenade launcher I noted earlier hangs from a wide belt slung across her hips, along with several pouches of rounds.

She’s death walking.

And she’s beautiful.

“Mel.” My voice wraps around her name.

She whirls, a small gasp on her lips, and that brilliant gaze spears me to the floor as she takes several quick steps back.

I clear my throat. “What are you doing?”

It’s a stupid question. Still, I wait for her answer.

She just bites that perfect lower lip, wringing her hands.

“Go on, spit it out.”

“Don’t make me say it. Please. I don’t like hurting you.”

Ice chills my blood, the now-familiar grief a dagger in my chest.

“Please,” she begs again, barely more than a whisper. “Please go back. I have to hurry.”

I can’t leave her like this. I can’t.

The Organization stole so much from me: my family, my freedom, my future. Yet I’ve done nothing to strike back. Instead, I’ve allowed the Resistance to keep me safe. I’ve allowed my fear to destroy everything I care about.

Tonight, I will not stay safe.

Consequences be damned.

I step right up to Mel, cupping her face in my hands and leaning in, questions in my eyes. Though I half expect her to, she doesn’t pull away.

No, she sighs into the kiss, her body melting, molding to mine. Her fingers dig into my shoulders and her tongue traces my upper lip. Scorching heat washes through me, mingling oddly with the frost that still lingers in my veins.

It’s intoxicating. Fire and ice, existing together, burning me up from the inside out.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” I growl against her mouth.

I feel her smile. Pulling back, she strokes my cheek, her eyes aglow. “Really? You aren’t going to stop me?”

“I’m done letting fear rule my life. All along, you’ve shown me who you are—a far braver and better person than I am. I’ve done nothing but hold you back and drag you down. Not tonight. Tonight, I rise to your level. We’ll save those people, and we’ll do it together.”

Her smile softens, tender and so beautiful it hurts. “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry. Fuck, Mel, I’m so sorry.” The words reflect a depth of emotion I hadn’t known could exist until she came roaring into my life, tearing me down and building me up again. A better man. “I’ll never try to force my will on you again.”

I kiss her gently once, relishing the feel of her soft lips on mine. “So, what’s your plan? How did you expect to steal a car? I can hotwire one, but … hang on. How did you arm yourself?”

Mel grins up at me deviously. “I might have stolen Lisa’s keys. Might’ve lifted them right off her hip.”

I chuckle, both at her attitude and her sheer brass.

Her smile fades. “Are you sure about this?”

I press a finger to her lips. “If you’re going to throw yourself to the wolves, I get to come along for the ride. You’re not the only one with a score to settle.” I smirk. “Honestly, you don’t stand a chance of reaching the pathogen by yourself, anyway.”

I refrain from mentioning that together, our odds aren’t much better.

She rolls her eyes, an answering grin tugging at her lips. “Okay then. But we have to hurry.”

Hand in hand, we walk the last several feet into the garage. Mel explains she knows where the pathogen is parked, about three hours from here.

“Mind if I drive?” I ask.

A spark of excitement ignites in my gut. Lisa taught me how when I turned sixteen, but I haven’t driven much since. Cait’s my partner on missions, and she always drives. I’m happy to let her—she loves driving. It’s some of the only freedom she’s had in her life.

My solo race to Michigan last week doesn’t count. It was tainted, drenched in desperation. Fear had me in a chokehold, chained tighter than ever before.

Tonight is different. I want to experience that sense of freedom before the end. I want to feel the rush of speed, see the forest whipping by.

“Sure,” Mel says easily, tossing me the keys. A huge smile curls across my face as I make for the Veloster.

Once inside, I wait for Mel to enter the address she memorized from the bill of lading into the car’s GPS. My gaze roves around the garage. I’ll never see this place again. If only I’d taken the time to appreciate the caves more, to?—

My eyes fall on a slim figure, hugging herself just inside the mouth of the tunnel. Cait’s trembling shoulders are curled inward.

My heart stutters as our eyes meet. We might have our issues, but we’ve been so close for so long. She’s part of me, and I’m part of her. Now I’m abandoning her, leaving her to face life in the Resistance alone.

She has Sam and Vik and Hunter. She’s strong. She’ll be okay.

Still, as I dip my chin in farewell, as I watch her crumple to the floor, I feel her anguish as acutely as if it were my own.

There’s nothing I can do. With a deep breath, I leave her behind, reversing into the dark woods.

Mel takes my hand, gives it a light squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” Though I regret Cait’s pain more than I could ever express, I mean it. This is where I’m supposed to be.

When we hit the highway, I open up the throttle, a feral grin spreading across my face. The speed, the recklessness, the feel of Mel’s steady hand in mine all light my heart with a wild sort of exhilaration, even as we race toward our doom.

For the first time in five years, I’m free.