Into the Light (University of Isles #2)

9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

The next week passed pretty seamlessly. It was Friday, which meant I had to see Rain, regardless if I wanted to, plus it was the start of our group assignment, so we needed to figure out what the prompt was.

I drove to class because it was raining, and parked behind the English building. Early as usual, a book about fae bat boys falling in love with a set of sisters caught my eye in my backpack. It allowed me to escape the world for a little and pass the time. At about twenty pages in, I realized someone else had walked into the room.

I quickly snapped my head up and saw Rain sitting next to me, slung back in his seat with a book in his hand. He was reading a famous thriller book, Gone Girl , and was probably as engrossed in it as I was in mine.

“You’re early,” I said, resting my elbows on the desk and putting my book down to look at him. He turned his head in my direction, his deep-blue eyes burning a hole through my own.

“Em,” he whispered as he grabbed the legs of my desk and pulled it toward him, the metal scraping against the floor. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did,” I responded, not looking at him, but the warmth of his body seeped into me.

“Can you look at me?” I shook my head, being the stubborn ass I was, and sat back in the chair, staring ahead at the clock on the wall.

He grabbed my chin and gently lifted it so I was facing him. His eyes looked pained and sunken. He looked just as tired, if not more than, as he did when I saw him in this class last week.

“What do you want?” I whispered as he held my chin, even though at this point, I was willingly gazing at him. The place his fingers lay, burned through me, sending a rippling current of heat through my body.

“I need your help,” he confessed, the words coming out slow.

“With what?”

“You were right.” Well, wasn’t that just music to my ears, but I would not boast with an I-told-you-so moment.

“About what? Stop being so fucking elusive, please.”

“Okay.” He shook his head a few times, pulling the hair off his forehead. “I need a teammate in figuring this Ash shit out.”

Well, that is definitely not what I expected him to say. I was expecting him to demand an apology for last weekend, apologize for being an asshole, admit he was actually flirting with me, but definitely not this. He dropped his hand from my face and brushed a hair off my ear.

“And you want me to help you, I assume?”

“Please.”

“But, why now?”

“I can’t do it on my own anymore, plus, I think you’re right.” Rain cracked his knuckles before looking back at me, his hand going behind my ear to touch where the O was tattooed. “I think he killed himself, but I need to prove it to Mr. Ortiz. I need concrete proof that your brother or your family wasn’t involved.”

“Don’t say it like that,” I demanded, pushing his hand off me. I hated that everyone blamed Walsh or me. I hated that people couldn’t see Ash’s struggles. I hated that mental health struggles weren’t a concept that people grasped. If Ash had cancer, there would be no one to blame but the cancer. Why was this any different?

“Say what?” he asked.

“That he . . . that it was his fault.”

“I don’t know how you want me to say it any other way, Em.” I was about to tell him off, frustrated with the whole world, when the door swung open and a student walked in. They paused as they noticed how close we were sitting and how far out of my row I was.

I looked over at Rain and whispered, “Push me back.” He chuckled before doing so.

Just then, a couple more students filed in, and I pulled out my notebook and camera, ready for Evie to give us instructions on the project. Rain leaned over as the bell rang and threw a small crumpled note on my desk.

I mouthed, Why did you sign it ? He laughed, then I put the note inside my bag, not wanting Evie to read this one aloud.

“Okay, everyone, if you are not sitting next to your partner, please make your way next to them and go ahead and smush the single desks together.”

Rain gave me a knowing glance before he smushed me back next to him.

“Long time no see, mi pareja.”

“What?” I asked, scrunching my nose, not recognizing that word. I learned a few phrases after Ash passed, hoping it would keep me connected to him and his culture.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Evie interrupted us before I could press for more. “The project will commence this week, and before we go into the dark room, we will need to work on the actual shooting part,” she explained. “The project is to take a series of photos of things that scare you.”

Someone raised their hand and asked, “Like snakes?”

Laughter rippled through the room, but Evie hushed us with a gesture.

“In theory, yes, snakes could be something that triggers fear, but I want you to dig deeper. What I’m asking you to explore are your inner fears, the things that truly disturb and terrify you, things you may be avoiding confronting,” she explained.

“For the rest of this hour, I want you and your partner to brainstorm. If you finish early, you’re free to leave or continue your discussion elsewhere. However, I’d like you to spend this time talking and planning. Next week, we’ll delve into darkroom basics.”

People turned to their partners, engaged in conversation, but Evie halted us again. “As we covered the basics last week, I encourage you to practice with your film cameras by capturing subjects that evoke fear. It could start with something as literal as a snake, but it should evolve into deeper explorations.” She gestured for us to go ahead as she essentially dismissed the class.

“What do you think? Wanna ditch this joint?” Rain asked.

“Absolutely.” We grabbed our stuff and headed out of the basement.

“The basement is too fucking creepy.”

He paused, scanning for any signs of life before agreeing. Part of me thought it was for my own comfort.

“Where to?” Rain asked. “I don’t want it too crowded.” I knew the implications of us together in public. I was out with my late boyfriend’s brother who was the head of the organization that still blamed me and my family for his . . . passing. I wasn’t jumping at being seen in public with Rain either.

“I have the perfect spot.” I remembered as we headed toward the parking lot. “Where are you parked?” I asked.

“Right here.” Rain gestured over to the motorcycle, and I stared back at him.

“Still a solid absolutely not, especially with sleek roads,” I added.

“Where’s the fun in that?” He chuckled, then inquired about my location, to which I pointed toward my car.

“You’re still driving my car?” He seemed surprised, and for a moment, I forgot that it was actually his car.

“Oh yeah, you can have it back.” I tossed him the keys, and he caught them.

“No, I’m glad to see you still driving her,” he confessed before handing the keys back.

“I figured you had a tracker or something on the car,” I half joked, feeling Rain’s hand against mine.

“Em, I told you I was different from Ash. I don’t need to track you. I know you’re strong enough to take care of yourself,” he reassured me.

His words triggered something within me, a sensation I couldn’t quite label, but it felt like . . . attraction? No, that couldn’t be it. I had always acknowledged Rain’s enigmatic allure, but I had never considered being intimate with him even though my body was telling me a different story. I guessed I could count that one time I accidentally stumbled upon him with a girl while I was still with Ash. His mysterious demeanor had brought me a certain curiosity. What was happening inside of me right now?

I opened the door and jumped in the driver’s side as Rain got in, and I drove us down toward the edge of campus.

Then I pulled up to the familiar diner whose sign was burned out. Since the last time I was here, it had gotten far more run down. Rain glanced at me sideways.

“Just trust me.” I laughed before opening the car door and headed toward the entrance. Rain trailed behind me.

Walking in, I was shocked at how nothing had changed over the past few months. Although, I probably shouldn’t have been, because this place likely hadn’t changed décor in years. It emanated old-school-diner vibes with its large, red booths. I picked the small booth on the opposite side of the restaurant I typically sat in. I wasn’t trying to replace memories of Ash, but I wanted to paint new memories in this life. Rain slid in on the opposite side of me.

“He found this place?” he asked, grabbing the straw, pulling off the paper, then fumbling with the paper between his fingers.

“Yeah,” I managed to squeak out.

“I do the same thing.” I cocked my head in his direction, and he lifted the paper up. “Yeah.”

“Nervous habit.” He chuffed.

“It is.”

“I guess we should talk about what scares us, then?” Rain questioned. I fiddled with the straw, not wanting to make eye contact just as the waitress came over.

“We’ll have two chocolate milkshakes and a burger to split,” I added before the waitress took our order happily.

“Hey. You’re that girl whose boyfriend passed away?” I winced, and Rain went to get up, but the waitress quickly followed up with. “I’m so sorry to hear that about him. You must miss him so much.”

I offered a tight-lipped smile to avoid crying because if I said anything, it would be accompanied by tears. “I do, very much so.”

I was sad, not because she asked about Ash but because she asked about him in a way that was gentle and forgiving. It was nice to feel some sympathy without being blamed for his death.

She walked away before I turned toward Rain and took a deep breath, exactly what I had learned through therapy.

Just as Rain opened his mouth, I interrupted him. “Tell me about him like when you guys were younger.”

Rain smiled and sagged in his booth, which made our knees touch, and I jolted before leaning into it.

“I met him when I was little, in elementary school. He was so structured. I thought it was so weird because it wasn’t how it was at my house.”

I thought I remembered something that Ash had said about Rain’s dad, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

Quickly changing the subject, he said, “You know Ash was always . . . sad.”

I shook my head. “What do you mean?”

“His dad ran the house like it was the military. Ash had to make his bed every morning at zero five hundred before going to school. In high school, he was forced to attend meetings with Mr. Ortiz after school, so he didn’t have any time for friends or extracurricular activities.”

“That’s terrible.” I sighed, imagining what a dreadful life that must have been, especially for a teenager.

“He was essentially forced to grow up too fast. Things improved when my mom and I came into the picture, but my mom was a . . .” Rain ran his hands through his hair. I gave him space, letting the silence linger, unwilling to fill it with unnecessary words.

After a moment, he continued, “She let Mr. Ortiz control her, so she liked the structure. It made her feel secure.”

“Are they still together?” I inquired.

“They got married last winter.”

“Oh, wow . . .”

“I know. Me, too.”

“Was Ash happy?” I asked, secretly hoping for a different answer.

“No, Em.” He rolled his lips, like he wanted to tell me more, but he seemed forlorn, staring out the window.

“Were you?” I inquired. Rain locked eyes with me, and for a moment, I felt lost in the deep-blue pools. He seemed surprised by my question.

“Yeah, I think I was pretty chill. Mr. Ortiz never bothered me much, so I kind of became a wallflower, lost in books.”

“Do you reread often?” I asked, changing the subject to something lighter. Readers often debated whether you should reread books or only read them once.

“Hell yeah. I have some serious comfort reads. When I need an escape, I pick them up.”

I laughed, nodding.

As our food and milkshakes arrived, I put everything on an extra plate for Rain. “I’ve never had anyone share with me. I kind of blended in too much, I guess. People often didn’t notice I was around.”

“I always noticed you, Rain,” I admitted, taking a bite of my burger. What came out of my mouth next was a shock, as if my brain hadn’t processed it. “Even when you watched me during the initiation, I was watching you, too.”

Rain’s cheeks flushed, and he took a bite of his burger, trying to avoid the conversation. I chuckled.

“Did you guys ever share?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. Rain twisted his lips into a frown, then paused before responding.

“Never,” he stated. “I don’t share what’s mine. I never will.”

“But what if you get a girlfriend this year? Won’t you have to do the initiation?” Rain put his food down and leaned over the table, getting closer.

“Never. I don’t care how much trouble it might cause; I will never share what is mine . . . ever.”

Oh no, there was absolutely no denying the fact I felt something . . . down there. It was unexpected, catching me off guard. For a moment, I didn’t even think of Ash, the grief, or the complicated situation we were in. All I could focus on was the intensity in Rain’s eyes, the confident declaration of ownership, and the undeniable attraction that had surged between us.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and desire as I tried to regain my composure. I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat, attempting to hide my reaction. “Well, I-I admire your determination,” I said.

Rain’s gaze lingered, a knowing and almost mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’m a man of my word, Ember,” he said, his voice low and filled with an underlying promise that sent another wave of heat through me.

I quickly changed the subject, feeling the need to break the tension that had enveloped us. Deep down, I couldn’t help but wonder if this unexpected connection between us would lead to something more, something I hadn’t anticipated in all my grief and confusion.