Into You Series: The Complete Collection

44. Grace

CHAPTER 44

GRACE

I ’ve been sitting on my back porch for an hour, looking at the roads behind the apartments as cars fly by. I wonder where they’re going. Are they headed home to meet their spouses? Maybe make dinner together, talk about their day? Or are they driving to a bar? Praying tomorrow doesn’t come?

I almost went back to our bar. I wanted to sit on the same stool I had when Cameron first told me he liked me. I wanted to imagine that first moment of connection—of letting down our guards and just being us . I wanted to order the same drinks.

But then I realized that was super creepy, so I didn’t.

Instead, I’ve been home working, moping, and mulling over everything.

I want to call him and forgive. I want to block him and forget.

Sometimes people enter your life and it’s not clear whether they’ll be good for you. But sometimes relationships are necessary. They give you hope. They make you breathe again. They are the life pumping through your veins.

Cameron wasn’t good nor bad; he was a required piece of my soul that I may never have returned to me.

It’s okay. It belongs to him, anyway.

I love my career, but I love Cameron more. I hate that it took me this long to realize that. I hate that he was forced to quit. I hate that he is only one parking lot away from me and yet I can’t gather up the courage to tell him that he’s the antidote to my lovesickness. He’s the person that makes me whole.

Hank is lying on the ground under the porch table, letting out a huff of air. I lean down to pat his head. “Yeah, I miss him too.”

He tilts his head to the side and for a second, I wonder if he truly understood me, but I’m broken from my reverie with a knock at the door.

I exhale and drag my feet there. I’m sure it’s Ramona and Wes, coming with some treats and a silly movie. Or maybe it’s Mom with some more avocado concoctions.

I pull open the door, but instead of my best friend or mother, there he is: Cameron, clad in another stunning suit, looking sharper than ever, holding a stuffed giraffe in his hands.

“Hey, Holmes.”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“You’re here,” I say.

“I’m here.”

“And you brought me a giraffe.”

“You bet your ass I did.”

He hands it to me. The stuffed animal’s arms are tied together with string and in the knot’s middle is a small ring. The band is dull, and the gem is almost obnoxiously sparkly, as if it was painted over with gloss coating. But it’s a ring.

“Oh my god,” I somehow get out, looking from the giraffe to Cameron and back again.

Our relationship flashes before my eyes, and without a doubt, I can feel it in my heart. I love this man. I love him so much my heart bursts every time he’s in front me.

But I’ve only known him for three months. Could I marry him?

My face feels hot, my hands are clammy as I hold the giraffe, and in a haze, the only thought running through my head is that I’m matting his makeshift fur with my sweat.

“Cameron … are you …?”

He looks down to the giraffe and his eyes widen.

“Oh, woah, no. I mean, I love you, but … no. I’m not … no.”

“Oh, thank God,” I exhale before I can stop myself. My body unclenches and then what he said hits me all at once. “Wait, did you say you love me?”

A slow smile grows on his face, slow as molasses but deep and caring. Even if he didn’t answer, that would speak on its own.

Cameron loves me.

“Yes. I love you.”

I smile then shake my head.

“Then why the heck is there a ring in this giraffe’s hands?” I ask with a huff of a laugh.

“I didn’t really think about it,” he says. “Boy was that an oversight.”

He shrugs and a grin bursts across his face, shining through the misunderstanding. Of course he didn’t. Cameron’s attention to detail is horrible.

I laugh, finally noticing the cheap plastic of the ring and the shine of the fake diamond is indeed some type of polymer to give it the illusion of authenticity.

“Wow, you really thought I was proposing?” he grins. “You must feel so dumb.”

“Excuse me for thinking that’s what giving me a ring meant.”

He chuckles and I can’t help but laugh back.

Cameron takes a step forward, placing his hands on my hips and leaning his forehead against mine. I lean into him, taking in everything. His mesmerizing eyes, his cologne, and the soft touch of his beard against my lips as he leans forward to place a single kiss.

“Holmes, I hate commitment. I hate change. I hate pretty much anything that’s going to turn my world upside down. But I don’t hate you.”

“Charming.”

“Let me finish, damn it.”

I smile and nod. “Go on, then.”

“I’m not asking you to marry me right now,” he says. “But one day I will. And I’ll mean it. I want the dogs by the fireplace and the kids with the coloring books. I want you.”

“I love you,” I say.

He moves his forehead from mine, and I want it back already. I want to be close to him and never leave. I never want to stop my heart from beating to the sound of “I love you, Cameron Kaufman” over and over again.

He stretches out his hand to me, pinky sticking up, ready for the taking.

“Promise?” he whispers.