Iron Willed Warrior (Last Refuge Protectors #5)

23. Brynn

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Brynn

Numbness dulled everything inside me on the drive back to the resort. I’d always appreciated that when going into battle. When the buzz of anxiety and second-guessing in my head went quiet, and nothing but the mission mattered. Neutralize the target, reach the objective, survive .

The part I didn’t like as much was when the ice thawed. As it inevitably did.

I rubbed my hands absently against my black pants, and Cole reached across the cabin. Captured my left hand with his larger one. His strength grounded me, and I appreciated that, but it felt like he was questioning me too. Are you all right?

Right now, I didn’t want to be questioned. Especially not by him. Because with Cole, I was tempted to fold myself into his arms and let him take the burden of what I was feeling.

If I did that, then I wouldn’t deserve to stand beside him as his partner.

I had done what I had to, and there was nothing else to say about it.

With the guard dead, we’d had a body to dispose of. Ideally, we would’ve dispatched the guy without leaving a blood trail. But not everything went according to best-laid plans. We’d stripped the Stillwater guard’s vest, jacket, and pants, then stuffed the body in the maintenance hatch of the ventilation shaft and kicked dirt around to cover the blood.

Cole and I had argued over who would drive the golf cart to the exit. If we left the dead man’s car in the parking lot, the others would realize within hours that their colleague had never left at the end of his shift. Cole had insisted he would fit the guard’s clothes better, which I supposed was a fair point.

He’d masqueraded as the dead guy, while I’d climbed the fence and retraced our path through the desert, thinking the whole time that I’d murder Cole if he let himself get caught.

But he hadn’t. He’d used the dead guard’s key fob to locate his vehicle in the employee lot. Then drove right out of the Stillwater facility. Thank goodness the guard at the gatehouse hadn’t looked too closely. The darkness had helped.

The dead guard’s car was out in the desert now. With luck, we had at least a day or two before Stillwater realized their man hadn’t made it home. Especially if the guard wasn’t due back on shift tomorrow.

No, make that today. Because it was almost four AM. I sighed, dropping my head back against the passenger seat. What a night.

We knew for sure Westwick was up to something in the desert. Something hidden beneath those fields of solar panels. And we had confirmed that Stillwater faithful were guarding the facility. The kinds of men who Westwick and Ryker would trust with their most sensitive secrets.

We were so close to breaking everything open. And yet we didn’t get much intel tonight. What could we do except fall back to the original plan?

When we were almost back to the resort, we stopped to change out of our tactical clothes. I pulled on a pair of leggings and a patterned sweatshirt, tucking my feet into a pair of sandals. A wet wipe cleaned the greasepaint from my face. Cole put on some shorts and a linen shirt. Our dirty clothes went into a plastic bag to be discarded in an anonymous dumpster later.

We checked each other for visible bloodstains. Cole found a few flecks on my chin and wiped them clean.

Walking back into the resort, we looked like Brianna and Cameron again. Back after spending most of the night stargazing. I even had a tote with my gun and laptop stowed at the bottom, beneath a blanket and an empty champagne bottle. But we didn’t see any staff on the way to our room. Certainly no guests.

Cole took out our room key, then froze. I followed the path of his eyes.

The tiny piece of paper we’d wedged above the hinge in the doorframe. It wasn’t visible. Which meant somebody had opened this door while we were gone.

Shit .

“I guess housekeeping was here,” Cole said, nodding at the missing Do Not Disturb hanger. But he subtly placed his hand near his waistband, where he’d concealed his gun. I reached inside my tote and closed my fingers around my weapon. My breathing slowed, blood thumping in my ears.

This hallway was lined with a dozen doors, including Westwick’s and Ryker’s. They could be watching us right now. Or even waiting inside our room. An ambush. Would they risk it in the middle of the resort?

Cole waved the keycard. Carefully pushed open the door.

We both drew our weapons as we stepped into the dark room.

The Do Not Disturb sign lay on the floor. The tiny scrap of paper lay against the wall. Through the open doorway into the bathroom, I spotted a stack of fresh towels. We’d asked for no housekeeping visits, but maybe they hadn’t listened. At least someone wanted us to think it had been housekeeping. The bed was made, but nothing else appeared to have been disturbed.

I shut the door to the hallway with my foot. Raised my weapon. Cole signaled for me to take one side of the room, while he took the other.

The room was empty.

“Anything missing?” Cole murmured.

I glanced through my suitcase and drawers while Cole did the same. Our small stash inside the air vent was untouched. Thank goodness we had taken my laptop and the other weapons with us.

Except…

Heart leaping into my throat, I felt around in my underwear drawer, exhaling when I found my burner phone safe inside its sock.

“You good?” Cole asked behind me.

I forced myself not to flinch. Leaving the phone inside the sock, I shut the drawer and turned around. “Yep. It’s all there. Jewelry and everything.”

But we spent the next half hour checking every item and crevice for bugs or trackers. Once we’d finished, Cole ran his fingers through his hair and sank onto the edge of the bed. “Housekeeping doesn’t show up at night. Ryker was checking up on us. But if they knew where we were tonight, they would’ve intercepted us on the road.”

I sat beside him. “They know we were gone. When they figure out there’s a guard missing from the solar plant, they could connect the two.” I rubbed at my hands. I’d already washed them, but they didn’t feel clean.

He reached out to put his hand over mine. “Brynn,” he said softly.

How did he convey so much care and concern in one word? I didn’t think any man had ever said my name with such tenderness.

“I’m fine.” I got up again, too jittery and full of adrenaline to sit still. “When we first started this, you claimed you respected my abilities. You didn’t see me as weak. But all you’ve done since is try to protect me, and I can’t?—”

He caught my elbow and pulled me closer to stand between his spread knees. “You’re right. I’ve been guilty of that. And a few hours ago, I wouldn’t have apologized for it. I hate that you had to kill a man tonight. Doesn’t matter that he was one of Stillwater’s finest. I would much rather it was me who put him down and not you.”

I tried to pull away, but he held me there, hands firm on my hips.

“But,” he continued. “You saved my ass back there. You’re my partner. You know what’s too much for you, and nobody has a right, least of all me, to decide your limits. I respect you too much for that.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

“Would you let me finish, B?” A hint of a smile ghosted Cole’s lips. Then he turned serious again. “I don’t want you alone with Westwick or anyone associated with him because I’m afraid of what could happen. I’m fucking afraid. I can admit that. But that fear is my problem, not yours. So if you’re still committed to using yourself as bait to get close enough to Westwick to plant the virus, I’ll…go along with it. I’ll let you decide.”

I stared down at him, surprised that he’d made such a concession.

It had been so important to me to prove I could handle this. But Cole had just acknowledged that his hangups were irrelevant to our mission. So I had to admit that mine were too.

I couldn’t let my uncle’s cruel words, all the times he’d called me weak and worthless , dictate the choices I made now. I had to consider what was best for this mission and this partnership, setting everything else aside.

Cole and I were good together. We had chemistry, and it wasn’t just sexual. In the short time we had worked with one another, we had fought side by side more than once. We had learned to read one another. There had to be a way for us to use that.

“I don’t want any man touching me but you, either.”

He pulled me into his lap, wrapping me in his arms. Kissed the top of my head. “Damn right,” he muttered.

“But we need alternatives. We have to separate Westwick from his security team to get access to his devices. Unless we can get his phone away from him without him knowing. But Ryker will be watching our every move.”

“I was coming up with contingencies on the drive home. I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”

“Try me.”

He sighed, his breath warm against my neck. “I already told you that I never intended to let Westwick walk away unscathed.”

I nodded. Cole had said as much when we were out in the desert. Could I say I was surprised? “I feel the same way. Taking out Westwick ourselves would be far more satisfying than waiting around for the legal system to do it. More efficient too. But how does that get us the rest of Stillwater?”

“You’re assuming I mean to kill him.” Cole huffed a laugh. “Well, I do, but not right away. I’m suggesting we kidnap Westwick. Take him to a secure location and bleed him dry of everything he knows about Stillwater.”

A cold chill ran through me, but it wasn’t reluctance. It was eagerness. Talk about poetic justice. Westwick had ordered Stillwater’s lieutenants to kidnap my best friend, torture her for information. I liked the idea of doing the same to him.

“From what you’ve told me about Stillwater’s decentralized structure,” Cole went on, “I doubt Westwick has a clear second in command. There’s Ryker, but he’s the muscle, not the brains.”

“There are others near the top who could potentially replace Westwick and keep Stillwater going if he disappears. But if we have Westwick, we can anticipate the next moves of Stillwater’s inner circle. Assuming we can make him talk. We’ll also need a safe house where we can keep him. The Protectors have several.”

Cole shrugged. “The Protectors also have two ex-CIA spies who can take over interrogation, should we need them. Trace and River will be more than happy to spend some quality time with Garon Westwick, given what the man has done.”

We would be kidnapping a US citizen on American soil, using any means to get him to spill his secrets, all with the knowledge that he would never spend another day as a free man.

But wasn’t this the real reason I had resigned from the FBI? It wasn’t just the need for secrecy, or even Stanford’s desire to give the rest of the FBI deniability if this mission went wrong. I wanted to destroy Stillwater using any means necessary. No FBI rules. No guardrails. Yet I hadn’t been ready to admit that truth about myself until now.

To destroy Stillwater, Cole and I had to fight dirty. Side by side.

We had to be vigilantes.

We talked awhile longer about how to get Westwick away from his bodyguards. It would be tricky. Our best option was to go with a version of my original idea. Brianna would lure Westwick into meeting alone. But Cole would be waiting.

It had to happen today . Given Ryker’s growing suspicion and that dead guard we’d left at the facility, we couldn’t afford to stay here another night. It was time to make our move.

“I need to shower and get some rest,” I said. The sun would be up way too soon.

“Same. I’ll go after you.” Cole stroked his thumb down my cheek, but his touch and his words weren’t a prelude to more. It was just a small comfort. A reminder that I wasn’t alone.

In the shower, I scrubbed my skin until it was red and raw. Cole trimmed his beard over the sink. I felt his eyes on me in the mirror as I cleaned up, but there was still no heat there. Just reassurance whenever our gazes met.

When I’d finished, I wrapped myself in a towel. I went to the sink to brush my teeth and try to comb out the tangles in my hair. Cole took his turn in the shower, removing his prosthesis first, then moving in that practiced way he had. Whether he was in tactical gear or naked, he was so comfortable in his skin.

Desire swirled in my lower belly, waking up from the numbness I’d been feeling earlier.

He hadn’t told me much about his ex-wife. Just enough for me to know I didn’t like her. What kind of fool would let a man like him go?

Trust was a battle for me, but Cole kept on working his way past my barriers. And he’d done it just by being himself. He’d told me he was no actor. Maybe he could lie when we were up against the enemy, but most of the time, Cole couldn’t be anyone other than himself. That was probably the thing I liked most about him.

I had to tell him about that burner phone Stanford had given me. How I hadn’t fully cut ties to the FBI like I had claimed.

“What are you thinking about?” Cole asked behind me. He was drying off with a towel.

I rinsed my mouth and set aside the toothbrush. “You.” It was true.

He smiled, expression softening. “It just so happens I was thinking about you. I seem to do that a lot.”

My heart squeezed.

In the bedroom, I pulled on a pair of underwear. Cole’s shirt was on the floor, one he’d been wearing around the resort earlier, so I grabbed it and put it on too. I slid beneath the covers next to him.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

“It was handy.” But more than that, I liked having his scent on me.

Cole lifted up the blankets so I could scoot closer to him. He wore only a pair of boxer briefs. All the lights were out, curtains drawn. The blue glow of an automatic nightlight came from the bathroom.

I rested my cheek against his bare chest, my hand on his stomach, enjoying the brush of his happy trail beneath my palm.

We were supposed to be going to sleep. But my brain was wired, knowing I shouldn’t let tonight end without telling Cole what I’d been hiding. How pissed off would he be? He’d kept things back from me as well.

And I had cut off all communications with Stanford yesterday. That had to count for something.

Tell him . Just say it .

I lifted my head. His eyes were open, watching me in the faint blue-tinged light.

“Cole—”

“We should sleep,” he said huskily. “But I’d much rather kiss you. Can I?”

My confession was right there on my tongue. “I think we’re past the part where you need to ask.”

“Good.“ He shifted his body. I fell onto my back with Cole above me, propped on his elbow. His mouth sought out mine. Soft but also hungry. His free hand cupped my cheek.

“We need to talk,” I said between kisses.

“We’ve talked for hours, B. My mind is shot. It’s either sleep, or this, and I think we need this more.” He pushed up the shirt to caress my stomach. “Unless you tell me no.”

The last thing I wanted was to tell him no.

Desire pushed away thoughts of my confession. Of anything but how much I wanted to feel Cole, skin to skin. As if I hadn’t killed a man tonight. As if we weren’t in the middle of a life-or-death battle against Garon Westwick and all the ugly things Stillwater had done. As if nothing mattered but the two of us. Not even my lingering, blurry ties to the FBI.

We did need this. I did.

With Cole’s next kiss, his tongue glided into my mouth. He tasted like minty toothpaste and kindness and comfort. Exactly what I needed in this moment. For a man roughened by his past, with so many scars, there was something sweet and open about the way he kissed. Like he was always reading my reactions, wanting to share this experience with me instead of just taking.

Cole’s hands roved, exploring like this was our first time instead of the third or fourth that he’d had me spread out for him just today.

But when he touched me between the legs, finding the dampness at the crotch of my panties, our kisses turned more intense. I felt the length of him swelling against my thigh. Growing harder and hotter by the second.

My legs wrapped around his waist. Drawing him closer. Cole pushed up the shirt until it was over my head, and I tossed it to the side, not caring where it landed. His cock nudged against my clit through the thin layers of our underwear. His beard tickled my neck, my upper chest, my breasts as he kissed and licked all over my skin.

He worked his boxer briefs down over his hips, his movements unhurried. Sensuous. “We didn’t use a condom before,” he said. “That still all right with you?”

“I’d speak up if it wasn’t.” I hooked my thumbs in my panties and shoved them down. Nowhere near as graceful as he had just been.

Maybe I should’ve second-guessed sharing my body with him this way, but it seemed that my instincts had been urging me to trust Cole all along, even when it took my brain slightly longer to get the message. From the first time Cole had touched me, kissed me, even when it was supposed to be fake, all I had wanted was to pull him closer.

Closer . That was what I needed. To get him as close as possible.

I hooked a leg over his hip and reached up to hold on to his broad shoulders. Immediately, he pressed his cock to my opening and worked his way inside with a few smooth thrusts. My head fell back against the pillow. His chest hair brushed with gentle friction against my breasts. Cole brought his nose to my temple and inhaled. As if being inside of me wasn’t enough. He needed to pull my scent inside him. To lose himself in this connection and focus entirely on me.

“How do you feel this good?” he asked.

“Pretty sure it’s all you.”

“Not even close. ”

I basked in the feeling of being beneath him. His heavy weight pressing me into the mattress. Letting him control the pace.

But after a while, I nudged his shoulder. “Mind if I’m on top?”

He rolled us both and landed on his back, bouncing slightly. “I’m happy for you to be on top. I get to see you, touch you. Let you do the hard work for a while.” His white teeth flashed as he smiled. “You love riding my cock, don’t you?”

“I do.” I spread my legs around him and lowered back down onto his hard length. Put my hands on his pecs, my long hair falling forward as I undulated my hips. Rocking our bodies against each other.

He squeezed my butt cheeks. “That’s it, honey.” He bucked his hips, making me gasp. “Show me how much you love it.”

I shuddered with a moan. “What I love is finally being in charge of you.”

He laughed. “For the moment, anyway.”

I bent over Cole to kiss him. My smile stayed. Regardless of what we’d dealt with tonight, we’d made it through all of that as a team.

I rode him until the glow of pleasure between my legs crested, taking me over. To my surprise, Cole stayed right there beneath me instead of repositioning. A few more thrusts upward, and he grabbed my waist to hold me firmly in place as he groaned through his own release.

We ended up lying next to each other, catching our breaths. Hearts aligned as they beat quickly, but in time. I’d just joked about me being in charge, but really, we were finally in perfect sync.

And that was when I knew I couldn’t tell him what I was hiding .

I’d started this op still linked to the FBI. Stanford had warned me not to let my guard down around Cole. Even though we need the Protectors, that doesn’t make you one of them , my boss had said.

But now, it wasn’t about the Protectors or the FBI anymore. This was about Cole and me. The two of us relying on each other. This had become so much more than an undercover partnership. I cared about him, and I believed that he cared about me. Our mission was stronger for it. And maybe…maybe I would be stronger for it, too.

I couldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.