Ironhold, Trial One (Ironhold #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

The next morning is quiet. A few people are starting to train again, but many more are taking the time to relax for one day, recovering from everything that has happened to them, making sure that they are in good shape to resume the constant grind of training to come.

I fall somewhere in between. I am not yet ready to resume training in earnest, but I work out in the practice yard, trying to get better with my net and trident, knowing that, as much as I hate the violence of the arena, I will need to be skilled with them if I am going to survive.

I see Naia running around from gladiator to gladiator, administering what healing she can. This is going to be an exhausting day for her as she tries to help everyone recover. I'm glad to see that she goes to Rowan early in the day. For all my work with needle and thread, I know that she will be able to heal him more completely.

There is at least one figure I am less happy to see healed. I'm sitting out in the practice yard between working on the practice posts when Vex approaches. He wears noble clothes today, rather than training gear, clearly determined to proclaim his status. Maybe it also hides whatever scars he has from my trident.

“That’s twice you’ve beaten me,” he says. “But it won't last. I am from a line of great gladiators, whereas you will never be more than a slave girl taken from a village.”

I can feel anger rising in me at those words. “Four more seasons, and I will be free. I will be a citizen of Aetheria, the same as you.”

“The same as me?” he says. “Beast whisperer scum like you will never be the same as me. Even if you somehow survive I will still be noble born, and you will be nobody. You will have to sell yourself in marriage to some minor noble just to avoid being penniless. If the emperor doesn’t have you killed.”

Is that really what he thinks will happen? Is that really the only way he can think of the world working?

“That's if you even survive,” he says. “Do you think they're really going to let something like you live? Maybe they’ll give me another chance against you.”

“I beat you,” I remind him. “The only reason you’re still alive is because I refused to finish you.”

“You beat me because of a trick,” he snaps back, as if he hadn't arranged for my own partner to betray me. “You won't have any tricks to save you next time.”

He turns his back, stalking away.

“He always did have a flair for the dramatic.” Ravenna approaches. She is back to wearing her usual elegant dresses, her dark hair spilling past her shoulders. “Although you should be a little careful around him. Vex tends to hold a grudge.”

“I’ve been told that before,” I say. “I’m not afraid of him.”

Ravenna shakes her head. “You should be. You should be wary of everyone. Remember, everyone here is fighting for their lives, even those of us who have chosen to be here. It makes people dangerous.”

“Are you dangerous to me?” I ask her.

She smiles. “Of course. Oh, I have no intention of hurting you, but you never know when you will be pitted against someone, forced to fight them.”

“And could you kill me if they demanded it?" I ask.

Ravenna’s expression darkens. “You know that they'll punish you for that, right? For refusing to kill Vex? If you’re lucky, it will just be another beating. If not… they’ll find a way to hurt you for it that will last. When we are told to kill, we kill.”

“And what if we didn't?” I ask.

“Then I’m not sure Ironhold would mean much at all,” Ravenna says. She sighs. “I like you, Lyra. I suspect you are one of the more powerful people here. I would like to consider you a friend. It's just… in a place like this, true friendship is a luxury even the wealthiest among us can barely afford. There is too much of a chance that we will be told to kill one another tomorrow.”

“But we can do the best we can in the meantime.”

“That's true," she says with another smile. She holds out her hand. “Friends in the meantime?”

I clasp her hand. “Friends in the meantime.”

After she leaves, I get back to practicing. I see Rowan starting to practice, and he is doing what I suspected he might, trying to force himself to deal with thrown objects when he cannot see them. Zara is lobbing wooden balls at him, and he's trying to dodge them with his eyes shut. Trust Rowan not to leave any weakness if he can avoid it. He's even avoiding some of them, obviously able to read the timing of her throws through the change in pressure on the ground. He's working bare-chested, the faintest of scars showing where he was wounded. It's hard to take my eyes off him as he works.

He opens his eyes and looks over at me as I approach, obviously able to feel me coming through the ground.

“You really think you can learn to dodge everything like this?” I ask.

Rowan shrugs. He’s moving more easily now, and I find myself thinking about the way we held back a couple of nights ago, about the possibilities that are open to us now. But I don’t feel the same sense of desperation, the same sense that we must act now or we might not get another chance. The attraction is there, but I don’t want to rush in the same way yet.

“We have to work to get better. Lord Darius and the others will keep setting us more and more difficult challenges. If they know we have a weakness, then they can exploit that at any time.”

A weakness. I find myself thinking about what Alaric said, about caring too deeply about other people being a weakness. I know the attraction that I feel for Rowan, I know how much I feel the need to be near him, to be with him, but if I do that, am I just putting both of us in danger? Will someone try to use it against us?

I hope that Rowan will be worth the risk. For now, I stand beside him, shutting my eyes the way he did. I cannot feel through the earth, but I can still borrow the eyes of birds. It means that I dodge the first few throws from Zara easily.

“How are you doing that?” Rowan asks. He waves the question away. “No, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re incredible, Lyra. But I worry about you.”

“You worry about me ?” I ask. “You’re the one who got hurt, Rowan.”

“And I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again. But you’re going to make enemies now. People have seen how powerful you are, but you’re also not doing what they want, and you aren’t something they want. The challenges will only get bigger from here.”

His concern for me only makes me feel closer to him. It also makes me think about everything that is to come in the coming seasons of the games at the Colosseum. I have survived one set of the city's holy days, one set of brutal and deadly games to appease the masses. I have learned skills I never imagined I might be able to master. I have fought for my life, not once, but multiple times.

I have killed, and I have refused to kill.

I know I still do not fully understand the games. People like Alaric and Lady Elara speak about them as if they are the political hub of Aetheria, rather than just a brutal spectacle. They are a place where nobles want to be seen, and want to get close to the gladiators. I suspect they are a place where grudges and politics play out in the deaths of others on the sands. Lord Darius speaks of them as a holy thing, while Alaric seems to see them as full of a glory I cannot find.

I know I still have a lot to learn when it comes to the games, but for now, at least, I have survived.