Island Holiday (Brookwell Island #4)

Chapter 17

On Christmas morning, Sonya walked out of the bedroom, already counting miracles. First was the lovely, complete peace that washed over her. A wonderful contrast to the solitude she’d anticipated a couple weeks ago.

Second, were the sweet pictures Jess had forwarded from the girls they’d rescued. Each of them safely reunited with their families. The notes of gratitude that accompanied those smiling faces had warmed her heart. She couldn’t wait to share the updates with Connor.

He was miracle number three, sharing this incredible hotel suite with her for at least the next few days.

Connor had been surprised she had chosen the Inn on Brookwell. But she really wanted a few days with him to be private. To stay in a cocoon, just the two of them for as long as possible.

Staying at an Ellington property felt too much like going home and she wasn’t quite ready to introduce him to the family. Of course, he had his own connections to the people who mattered most to her. He knew Hannah from work and Bruce Ellington from various visits and cases as well.

Being with him under those watchful eyes, no matter how caring, would be awkward. She spent enough of her life feeling out of step. The fewer distractions the better in her mind.

Besides, she wasn’t into bringing home someone who might well be temporary. Why get anyone’s hopes up? Especially hers. This was too new. Too fast. It was possible the excitement would fade and this holiday fling would fizzle before New Years Day.

The thought soured her stomach and she pushed it aside.

Possible wasn’t a foregone conclusion. She and Connor had proved that time and again with their work.

Mainly, she didn’t want to put any extra pressure on him or this moment. The interlude was marvelous and precious to her. She wanted this holiday to be special just for the two of them. They sure as hell had earned the break.

Until today, she hadn’t known peace and anticipation could co-exist inside her.

She happily blamed it on the Christmas tree in the corner. And on Connor, who had made that happen. His thoughtfulness was incomparable. When the decorations had been delivered to the Inn, he’d declared a tree-trimming party complete with holiday music, cookies, and hot chocolate from room service. The two of them had no problem providing the stories, laughter, kisses, and a sexy afterparty that went on for hours.

Whatever happened next, this would be her favorite Christmas for years to come. Hannah and Harper—who’d redefined the holidays for her—wouldn’t even fuss over such a claim. Not once they heard the whole story.

In the corner, the tree was sparkling. They’d left the lights on all night, according to Connor’s childhood tradition. The warm, cozy mood was enhanced by the rich aromas of fresh pastries and hot coffee in the air.

“Merry Christmas.” Connor stood in the kitchenette, a big smile on his face as he watched her.

“Merry Christmas!” She rushed into his arms. His strong hug and the sweet kiss that followed made this the unequivocal best Christmas morning of her life. Quite a feat, considering the special holidays she’d shared with Harper and Hannah in recent years.

This was so different. Better, yes, but it wasn’t a fair comparison. From the tip of her head to her toes, she felt so wonderful thanks to the man in front of her. He helped her see a potential life she’d been scared to look at directly. Somehow, when he was close, she could picture the full life she’d been running from without even realizing it. Too scared to hope the good stuff could last. Too willing to settle for a little piece of happiness when she could have the whole treasure.

“Merry Christmas,” Connor repeated. His tender lips feathered over her cheek as he rocked her gently side to side.

She leaned back. “Did you see the messages from Jess?”

“I did.” He nuzzled her neck. “I have another update.”

“Tell me!”

He held her chin gently. “You’re a hero.”

She pushed him aside. “Stop.” She couldn’t bear any more compliments.

He seemed to sympathize with her discomfort, easing back. “All right.” He tipped his head to the insulated carafes on the counter. “Hot chocolate or coffee? Room service just delivered a full breakfast.”

“I need a half and half,” she decided. “Everything smells too good.” Once it was filled, she raised her mug in salute. “Merry Christmas, Connor.” She vowed to say it all day long. “You’ve made this the best one ever. Thank you.”

When his brow pleated, she elaborated. “I have fabulous Christmas memories with Hannah and Harper. They’ve given me more real family moments in the past few years than I thought possible. They’ve always been more generous and welcoming than anyone I’m related to by blood.

“But you… Connor, you’ve made this a truly special holiday. I was so convinced this year would wind up an entire sucky mess. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to get through it if the worst happened.”

“You.” He traced the shell of her ear. “You stopped the worst from happening.”

“We did,” she insisted, remembering Jess’s talk. “All teamwork.” She patted him on the chest. “Without the team effort, it could have all gone sideways. So that makes you a hero too.”

The tops of his ears reddened. “Stop,” he echoed her response.

She slid her hands under the hem of his t-shirt, relishing the hot skin and firm muscles. “Not used to compliments?” she teased.

She would never tire of the bright glint in his eyes when he looked at her. He made her feel more than beautiful. More than the usefulness of her skills. He seemed to see the real woman she kept walled off from so much of the world. Even better? He made no secret that he liked the view.

One more miracle.

“We should exchange presents.” But she didn’t want to stop touching him. Her earlier hunger had faded. She only wanted him.

“You said it was enough to have the decorations.”

“That sounds like me.” She leaned back, soaking up the moment. “Surprise. I bought you a gift.” She turned to go back to the bedroom but he caught her around the waist.

“You’re the perfect gift for me.” He kissed the back of her neck. “Santa knows you’re all I asked for.”

She giggled. “Well, same. But I did manage to get you something to open as if we’re normal people.”

“Do we want to be normal people?”

She paused, pretending to think it over. “Might be best if we can convince others we are. At least once in a while.”

“Only when it’s needed.”

“Exactly,” she agreed.

She slipped out of his reach, but not for long. She pulled his gift from her suitcase. It wasn’t wrapped, because she wasn’t a holiday genius like Connor.

Hiding the present behind her back, she walked over to the Christmas tree. “Come here.”

He crossed the room. “Bossy.”

“Maybe. Now close your eyes.”

He obeyed again, smiling.

Unable to resist, she kissed him. His eyes popped open. “Just what I wanted most.”

“Close your eyes again. And hold out your hands.” She placed the box into his hands. “Okay, you can look.”

He stared down at the gift without saying a word. As the seconds dragged on, she started to panic, convinced she’d gravely miscalculated and hurt his feelings.

The apology was on the tip of her tongue when he suddenly busted out laughing.

“Sonya! I love it!” Opening the box, he pulled out the snow globe and wound it up. His raucous laughter nearly drowned out the recording of Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock. Sparkles and snowflakes swirled around a dancing Elvis.

“This way you’ll always own it.”

He swiped tears of laughter leaking from his eyes. “Yes. Yes, I will.” He wrapped her in another warm hug. “It’s the perfect reminder to keep those memories under control.”

Relieved, she grinned at him. “Since you’re never going back…”

He held her until the music faded. “I’ll treasure this forever, Sonya.”

“You mean it?”

“Absolutely.”

Her heart filled with a happy glow. “I know we have days left, but I really don’t want this holiday to end,” she admitted, suddenly feeling shy. A strange reaction considering everything they’d fought through and shared and survived in recent days.

“I’ve been giving that some thought.” He gave the snow globe another shake and set it on the countertop. “Sonya, I want to be there for you every day. Be with you every day.”

Her heart fluttered and she felt light-headed. She could see the sincerity shining in his eyes. She wanted to seize those words with both hands and hold on tight. Forever.

She just didn’t feel as if she had any right to do so. They were so different. By design and necessity. They were products of their circumstances and though they’d both found healthy, empowering careers with the same private investigations firm, that didn’t immediately translate to a relationship.

“Connor, I’m a nomad.” He had to know he was asking for more than she could give after all this time watching her traipse around the country. She dropped her forehead to his chest, wishing she could be what he needed. The solution seemed easy, just stay put. But she had zero confidence she could do that. He shouldn’t take a chance on her. “I don’t… I don’t stick in one place. It’s me and the car and the constant need to escape.”

She’d left a challenging childhood behind to go to college. And found people who were better for her. After meeting Harper and Hannah, she hadn’t gone back to her old neighborhood. Not once. She’d learned what friends and family should be from the women she now considered her sisters.

And still, she roamed at will, not able to truly settle. Any promises she made to Connor were bound to get broken. He deserved better. More.

“I’m not asking you to change Sonya. I’m only asking you to think about it. Instead of your need to run away, we can reframe it.” He held up the snow globe to illustrate his point. “You can run to me. Escape to me. I’ll always be here for you.”

She looked up into his warm brown eyes. He meant it. He was willing to take her as-is, quirks and fears included. If she was ever going to change her habits for anyone, it would be for this man standing in front of her. “I love you, Connor.”

The words slipped out of their own volition. She wouldn’t have reeled them back in, even if it had been possible. She wanted him to know. Wanted him to have everything she could give, though it wasn’t close to enough.

He wrapped a curl of her hair around his finger. “I love you too.” He said it so easily. So naturally. As if love was simple. A given. She knew better. He’d been burned by people he trusted. People who cut him off when they should’ve stood up for him.

She couldn’t be one more person who let him down. “I don’t know if I can be in one place for too long.” Forever only made her twitchy.

Just like he needed to get outdoors to spend time in wide open spaces to offset his prison experience, she needed to know she could get away and start over in a new place at any given minute.

“Can you be with one man forever?” he asked. “I wouldn’t mind roaming around, as long as I’m with you.”

“Seriously?”

It was the perfect solution. One she should’ve suggested. She blamed her oversight on the delightful shock that he loved her. Loved her enough to accommodate her wandering habit.

She pressed a hand to her jittery stomach. She trusted her feelings, but the butterflies kept swirling in her belly every time he looked at her. Every time he kissed her. Every time he touched her or looked up from his computer screen to give her a smile.

Every time he said exactly what her heart and soul needed to hear.

Could she make a major life decision like this based on exuberant butterflies? Of course. But she shouldn’t. Yet there was a voice in her head, telling her to jump. To take the damn leap because he’d catch her. Every time.

“Of course, I’m serious, Sonya. I was halfway in love with you before we met. This past week only proved my instincts are in perfect working order. But that’s just my side of it. If you don’t feel the same, that’s okay. I won’t rush you.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She snuggled close, hearing his heartbeat under her ear. Relaxing as his arms came around her. He was such a special man and they were such opposites. He was candid and direct without sacrificing compassion. And those traits weren’t just for the job, but for her as well. His patience was monumental and hers non-existent.

“Everyone deserves to be loved,” he said, his hand caressing her back.

“Even those of us who want to run away all the time?”

“Especially you.” He tipped up her chin and kissed her gently. “So run away when you need to, just come back.”

“That doesn’t sound fair.” She might not be well acquainted with healthy relationships, but that sounded like a recipe for disaster.

“Will you give me space when I need it?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“It’s no different.”

“But it is,” she insisted, stepping back. “Your need for space is understandable. My need to go is just…” Wrong. She wanted to be different, to be better, but she couldn’t promise him any success and love or not, she didn’t want to lead him on.

“Your needs are your needs. I mean it, Sonya. I’ll gladly travel with you, but if you want to go alone, you can go with confidence.”

“Because you’ll be tracking me?”

He shrugged, looking unsettled for the first time in a long time. “I can stop that too, if you want.”

She poked at his shoulder. There were two of them in this potential relationship. “What do you want, Connor?”

“You.” His voice was raw with the emotion packed into that one word. “I want to build a life with you. I want to love you every day a little bit more than the day before. I want to see you happy. You have the most beautiful smile.” His thumb traced her lips. “I want to fight and make up. I want to grow with you. To thrive together.”

“You only want to fight so we’ll have makeup sex.”

He grinned, owning the charge. “There are worse life goals.”

“Or we could just get along.”

“We will,” he promised. “Most of the time, I’m sure we will. But we both believe in being prepared.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small velvet box. When he opened it, she gawked at the gorgeous diamond she remembered, now circled by rubies and emeralds.

“Whoa.” She fanned her face. “Connor, that’s a full Christmas party in one sparkling ring.”

“I thought so.”

They stared down at the ring for a long moment. “How did you pull this off?”

His chest puffed up a bit. “You’re not the only one with connections.”

She giggled, helpless against the moment.

“Sonya, this is my promise that every day together will feel like a holiday.”

“That’s an absurdly high standard,” she murmured, worried again.

He caught her chin and pressed a kiss to her lips. “As your husband, that would be my greatest achievement. To fill every day with hope and love and peace.”

“You really can be pretty sappy.”

He was undeterred. “I prefer sentimental. And you love it,” he countered.

“You are so right, I do.” She jumped into his arms and held on tight. “I love you, Connor.”

“Is this a yes?”

“It is!” She gave him a smacking kiss. “Yesterday—heck, ten minutes ago—I would’ve said relationships and love weren’t for me. But hearing you say those words… Seeing the love in your eyes.” She cradled his jaw, blinking away joyful tears. “I didn’t know I could feel all this certainty. Have the courage to take this leap. With you.”

“You’re a marvel. Bravest woman I know,” he managed as she peppered him with more sweet kisses.

“What I am, is yours. Today and forever, I’ll always say yes. I truly can’t wait to be your wife.”

As he slipped the ring onto her finger—a perfect fit—she couldn’t wait to tell her sisters that she got a fiancé for Christmas.

They were going to swoon over Connor as much as the incredible tale that led them to this moment. And then the three of them were going to spend way too much time dreaming up a wedding.

Her wedding to Connor.

All of that was exciting and fresh, turning a happy day into a swirl of absolute joy. But the best part was the assurance that Connor Brady, researcher extraordinaire, would be her husband for all the Christmases to come.