It’s Always Us (Abandoned Brothers #3)

Chapter 16

LEX

The impact gun vibrates in my hand, tightening the lug nuts on a Ford Explorer. Two tires down, two to go. I roll and lift another to place it on the axle, realizing I won’t be able to do this much longer.

A wave of nerves rolls through my already volatile stomach with the need to know what I’m going to do when I reach that point.

I called and made my first doctor’s appointment. They informed me that at twelve weeks, my little wild colt is about the size of a plum. I ended the call with a short list of dos and don’ts that I’m certain will grow along with my changing body.

I’ve started prenatal vitamins and sadly waved goodbye to coffee while my tiny bump is getting harder to hide. Thank goodness for coveralls, but things like lifting these tires won’t be happening with a bulging belly.

Hopefully, it will push Grandpa to teach me more about the business side, which I’ve only been introduced to. It will be an opportunity to learn what I need to know in order to take over the shop one day.

Before that can happen, I have to tell Grandpa and my mom that not only am I married, but I’m having a baby. I’ve kept this most exciting and life-changing news a secret, wanting the miraculous joy for just myself until I can share it with Mark. But a significant amount of pressure is building inside me with all the things that are about to change.

Time is ticking. All of my pants are too tight, and most of my shirts aren’t loose enough to hide my little bump. At least the morning sickness has mostly subsided, and I’m feeling more like myself, but I have to talk to Mark .

He sent me a fist-pound emoji, which I assume was supposed to be a thumbs-up, so I know he made it through surgery. When he’s done sleeping off the drugs, I’m spilling the big news. I can’t stand it any longer. We can’t be some lingering thing out there waiting to happen someday. This baby is growing and won’t wait for us to get it together.

I tighten the lug nuts on the last tire, and start the alignment process. When I’m finished, I move the Explorer to the parking lot and return the keys to the board. The shop is quiet, except for the low country music, while everyone breaks for lunch.

I head to the kitchen to warm my leftovers, but I hear the distinct voices of Grandpa and Slade coming from his office.

My steps slow to a crawl as I hear Slade say something about ‘buying the shop.’ I stand in the short hallway, unable to move, listening as they talk about a payment plan and future growth opportunities.

My stomach drops to my steel-toed boots, and my lungs quit functioning. Before I can think about it, I’m standing in the doorway.

The faces of two of the men I trust most in the world snap in my direction.

“What?” It’s the only thing my brain can formulate.

“Alex,” Slade straightens, a big hand running over his face. “I was going to talk to you.” His deep voice hits my ears and bounces right off.

My eyes shift to Grandpa. He leans back in his chair, exhaling, his chin dropping to his chest.

“Are you selling the shop?” I can only suck in little bits of air, and my question comes out as a whisper. I want to drop to a crouching position in case I vomit, but I keep myself upright.

When he doesn’t immediately answer, my eyes flick back to Slade. “You’re buying him out?” Something is happening in my throat, and it might actually be swelling shut.

Slade’s hands shoot out in front of him. “We’re just talking.”

I switch back to Grandpa, needing a direct answer to a direct question. “Are you selling?” I choke out.

When his eyes finally meet mine, I think I have my answer.

“We’re only talking, but Pal, there’s a whole lot more to this shop than the fixing part.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Fire consumes my tight airway .

“I know you know that, but . . . running this shop will be your entire life. I don’t . . . ”

I drop my gaze to the floor, my eyes burning, but I won’t cry. I won’t do it. Not here. Not in front of them.

“Alex.” I hear Grandpa’s chair creak as he moves forward, but I can’t look at him. “I don’t want this shop to become the only thing you ever have. The only thing you think—”

“You know what this means to me.” I force out.

This garage. These guys. The customers. They’re not only part of my dream; they’re my livelihood. They’re supposed to be my future.

“Alex.” It’s Slade’s voice this time. “You wouldn’t be going anywhere.”

I can’t face him—my best friend.

I swallow, needing my throat to open. “I finished the rotation and alignment. Keys are on the board. I have to go.”

My lunch stays in the fridge while I grab my keys to figure out what in the hell I’m supposed to do. Somehow, I’ll have to overcome the pain of knowing two of the most important people in my life have so little faith in me.

______

Hurt and betrayal rage within me while panic takes hold of every part of my body. This was my plan—my future. That shop is all I’ve known and the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do for my whole life.

I sit on the edge of my bed, trying to breathe and calm my heart pounding against my ribs. I drop my head in my hands as my stomach climbs into my throat, and I debate running for the toilet.

I grew up in that garage. It’s where I felt safe and useful. It was the place where my inability didn’t matter—the only place where I excelled.

Never in a million years would I have thought Grandpa would sell. I guess it was my fault to assume he’d trust me with the business he’s spent his life building. It’s just that now . . .

My body crumples further. I know Slade will always have a job for me, but even the thought feels like a kick in the face. I can’t pretend that everything will be fine when all I thought I knew, everything I was counting on, was pulled out from under me .

I run a hand over my small protruding bump as tears finally make their escape. I can’t keep letting valuable days slip by without having a plan for how I’ll take care of this baby. I’m a mother now, and this baby is the only thing that matters. I have to start acting like it.

I suck in a breath through my hiccups, wiping my tears and snot on the cuff of my sleeve. I can’t keep letting my insecurities rule and running from the things that scare me. I can’t keep hiding from life and ignoring my responsibilities, willing everything to work out.

I lay back on my bed, letting it all go.

Eventually, I force myself up, wiping the salt-crusted tears from my eyes, and they snag on the threadbare t-shirt I’ve worn every night since I returned from Vegas.

I inhale long and deep. I wasn’t able to keep up with his life when he left here, and that likely hasn’t changed. I don’t belong in a world of the elite and sophisticated. I’m just a girl who works in a garage, piecing broken things back together.

But I can’t raise this child with half of my heart because the other half resides with someone far away.

I stare at Mark’s name on my phone, daring myself to push the call button. I count down. Five, four, three . . . I will myself to do it, but then something inside me, maybe the tiny being, screams at me.

Eight years ago, I took the easy way out. I can’t do that again. This baby is so much bigger than my fears of every unknown and uncertainty.

I back out of his contact and pull up the flight information instead. This time, I will talk to him face-to-face. I won’t run away, and I won’t hide. It’s too important.

Five minutes later, my flight is booked, and I pull my suitcase from the closet, tossing in the few items I’ll need for this quick trip.

I lug my things down the stairs and into the kitchen, dialing Linda. I leave a voicemail letting her know I won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight and ask her to tell Bree that I’ll stop by soon. Thoughts of them stir an uneasiness in my chest that I have to squash for now. I can only handle one thing at a time.

I grab the keys to my truck and glance around at my home—the place I’ve always felt safe and comfortable. But maybe that’s just it. Comfort is no longer a luxury. It’s time for me to take control and go after what I’ve always wanted, no matter how scary it might be.