It’s Always Us (Abandoned Brothers #3)

Chapter 23

MARK

I blink and gently roll my stiff, sore shoulder. I blink again, the early morning light barely filtering through the white curtains. I stretch, brushing against the warm, soft skin pressed against mine.

Her clean scent surrounds me as I force my body to come alive. I glance down at her peaceful face against my bare chest. I carefully move a small strand of hair and tuck it to the side. Everything I could ever want.

When I found my old shirt lying in a pile on the floor, so worn and filled with holes, it almost broke me. All this time, she kept it and wore it, but why? Why, when she could have had me? We could have been together.

She said she couldn’t let me stay and be dragged down. Being back here, maybe I understand that. Everything here brings back memories, too many disturbing old wounds and scars. My moments with Lex I’ve lived a million times over in my mind, but some horrors have the power to suck me back into the depths of hell.

It only took the plane hitting the tarmac, and I was back to being six years old. I was home from school with a fever, sleeping on the couch with my mom passed out beside me, likely high or drunk by noon. My dad came home, lifted me off the couch by my shirt, and threw me into the shower because I smelled. He held me under the burning hot water while I screamed, my skin turning red and scorched, which only made him do it longer. My mom remained lost in some kind of paradise while more of me was burned alive .

I close my eyes, inhaling long and slow to ease my racing heart as I swallow the memory and force it back into the past. I slide out of bed, careful not to wake Lex, and pull on shorts and a shirt. I grab my phone and reach for the door but turn back to look at her.

Her back is to me. The early morning sun filters through the window, casting light over her. Her long blonde hair is fanned out behind her, and one bare shoulder peeks out from under the white sheet. The vision I’ve longed for.

I hold up my phone and snap a picture. Last night, I asked her to come back with me, and I want that more than anything, but I know I can’t push.

I close the door quietly, heading downstairs and into the kitchen. I find Cal at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

He peers at me over his glasses. “Took you long enough.”

I reach into the fridge for a bottle of water and join him at the table. I scratch my chin. “I had to be prepared to say goodbye for good. I wasn’t sure I could do that.” He nods, understanding. “You could have told me she called it off.”

He eyes me, his head falling to the side. “I could have. Have you told her?”

I shake my head. “It took me eight years. I’m not sure it matters.”

“What now?” Those same blue-gray eyes of one of the few men I trusted and respected as a young man stare into me, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know.” I shrug my good shoulder. “I want her with me. I can take care of her and our baby one hundred times over, but you know she’s determined to be able to take care of herself. I respect that, even love her more for it.”

He folds his paper. “I can’t have her on the floor, and she’s going to be pissed.”

“You selling the shop?” I ask straight up, needing to know what we’re dealing with.

He sits back in his chair and wraps his older and more wrinkle-worn hands around his mug. “That shop would be her whole life. It would consume her and . . . ” He inhales as if debating if he wants to say more.

I cut to the chase. “If you need a buyer, I’ll buy you out.”

He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “She’s been hiding in that shop since the day you left. She thinks this is all there is for her, and I’ve let her believe that.” He rubs his forehead. “She’s worked hard and fought to be able to do the most basic things you and I take for granted. I should have gotten her more help or shown her how smart and capable she is. Shit, she works circles around every one of my guys. Fixes things no one else can figure out.”

He exhales long and slow. “If I handed it over to her, there wouldn’t be more capable hands, but she’s meant for more than this. She’s meant to have a life, a partner, a family, and to do a hell of a lot more than change oil and rotate tires. I’ve failed her, but I won’t fail her in letting her think that her only worth is wrapped up inside that brick building.”

I let it all sink in. “Cal, running your shop is her dream.”

His eyes meet mine dead on. “It’s the only dream she’s allowed herself to have. It’s the only dream she had left.”

It’s a jab to the throat. “She’s scared, and I won’t—”

“Then you show her she doesn’t have anything to be afraid of.”

Right . “I don’t know how to do that.”

He rests back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Son, I don’t know anything about love. I was never enough for the woman I married, and she hightailed it out of here to sniff out greener pastures.” He pauses, rotating his mug. “Alex has been grasping onto worn-through memories for years. She sacrificed her own heart to save yours.”

His eyes meet mine again. “I’d guess there aren’t many people who can say they’ve ever had someone love them quite like that. Hell, she’d still be sitting here suffering if it meant you were out there living, but she’s had enough of that. If she has you, she’ll be all right.”

His words hit me square in the chest, and my lungs falter.

Cal gets up, places his mug in the sink, and moves to the door, turning back to me. “I don’t care what you two decide. You don’t leave her.” His head drops a second, but when his gaze returns to mine, tears crease his eyes. “Those months after you left, she had to force herself to keep going. Figure out how to live without you. She had good reasons, but not anymore. You take care of my girl and that baby.”

“I will,” I promise with everything I am.

“I know you will, or I’ll fucking kill you.” His eyes tell me he means every word. He nods, closing the door behind him .

I sit for a moment, everything he said floating around in my head. I’m not sure what to do with it all. Thoughts of her suffering for me ignite a flame of anger that I have to dampen right back down.

I stand, running a hand through my hair, and move to the living room to start my shoulder exercises.

I don’t know how to show Lex she can come with me and still do what she loves. Cal’s garage isn’t the only place she can do that. Shit, I’ll buy her a building, and she can set up her own shop. I won’t let her hide here, thinking she’s not good enough or this is all she’s capable of.

After two reps, I rest, and a pair of fantastic legs appear beside me. I wrap my hand around her ankle and slide it up her calf, tugging her to the floor.

She settles beside me in an oversized sweatshirt, looking sleepy. “Did Grandpa leave already?”

“Yeah, a little bit ago.”

She yawns. “I should’ve known you’d get up early.”

“I can’t afford to slack off, especially not right now. Teams are watching, and I want to have a say.”

She tucks her hair behind her ear. “When will all that begin . . . teams getting in contact?”

“I need to touch base with Rob. He’s got his ear to the ground and listening for rumblings, but my guess is a few weeks. After this season officially ends, organizations will hit the ground running toward next year. They’ll finalize their budgets, know where they stand in draft picks, and how they want to spend their money.”

She pulls her hands inside her sleeves and tucks them in her lap. “Did you mean what you said about me going to the awards and the game with you?” Her shyness in asking if I meant it has me thinking about everything Cal said.

“Lex, yes. I didn’t want to pressure you, but I really want you there.” I lift her chin. “There’ll be cameras and reporters, but I want to hold your hand and have you by my side. And when the season starts, no matter where I’m playing, I want you and our baby on the sidelines before the game and waiting for me after. I want you with me always. Everywhere.”

She rests her head on my shoulder and inhales. “It’s a big day. I need to go to the shop, and then we’ll see the baby for the first time.” I brush my lips against her forehead and leave them there. “Then we’re having dinner at my mom’s.”

“Tonight?”

She sits up straighter. “Yeah, I messaged her, and she said she’s looking forward to it. The last time we tried, it didn’t go so well. She wanted to introduce me to her new boyfriend and told me about his son.” She rolls her eyes. “Hopefully, it will just be us.”

“Does she know I’m coming?”

She turns her body toward me. “Mark, she doesn’t know anything about you. I never told her. I couldn’t stand to hear—”

“Maaamaaa, just killed a man . . . ” I start singing “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

I get two verses in, and Lex shoves me. I roll back, pulling her with me, her laughter the only joy I’ll ever need. “So, she’s going to think what?”

She bites her lip and shrugs. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I just need to tell her. She already thinks I’m incapable of doing anything worthwhile or taking care of myself.”

“You don’t believe that, right?” I ask, needing to know that she doesn’t believe that.

Her eyes drop to my chest, and I don’t like that she doesn’t answer me right away.

“Mark, I’ve tried really hard to increase my fluency, but I still struggle, especially under pressure. It’s embarrassing. I get flustered and can’t concentrate. The words just . . . I’ve learned to compensate even better than before. There are so many more tools now, but . . . ”

Her eyes fill with the same humiliation I remember. “People will always look at me like I’m stupid or uneducated or like there’s something wrong with me. That will never change. No one will ever hire someone who can’t read. Even if I wanted to, I’d never make it through college. I’m only good at one thing.”

I stare at her, knowing I can’t fix a lifetime of assholes in one day, but I can start working on it. “You’re more than capable of doing it all. There are programs and organizations that aid and educate people about dyslexia and its challenges. There’s more awareness now, but it’s still misunderstood and underdiagnosed.”

She stares at me, her brow scrunched together .

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” I kiss her furrowed brow. “But, you’re going to keep fixing up those pieces of shit and turning them into gold.” Her lips curve upward into that sweet, beautiful smile, and I pull her closer. “All those jerk-offs who don’t understand haven’t seen you under a hood.”

She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight.

My phone buzzes, and I reach for it.“It’s Shane.”

She stands. “I’ll let you break the news while I make breakfast.”

I answer as the water in my stomach bubbles with excitement to tell my brother the best news of my life. “Hey, bro.”

“Times up, asshole,” Shane grumbles. “This MIA, give me a few days shit is done. What the hell is going on?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’d make a good drill sergeant?”

He groans.

“I told him to lead with ‘How are things going?’” Sean’s voice comes through the line.

Perfect. I can tell both of them at the same time, and Sean will reel Shane’s overprotective gruff ass in.

“Shane, you can hang up. I like Sean’s approach better.”

“I’m not a kiss ass. Where are you? Sean said you’re not home.”

“Sheesh, I didn’t know you two were becoming my keepers.”

“You need one,” Shane jabs.

“Dude, you’re living three blocks from me,” Sean says in defense. “I don’t have time to worry about you right now. Could you tell us what’s happening so we can quit thinking the worst?”

“My two little worrywarts.”

“Mark!” they both yell.

I sigh “Fine. I’m in Ohio.”

“Shit,” Shane mumbles.

“I’m at Cal’s with Lex.”

“ And ,” Sean says, and if I know my brother, he’s smiling.

“And . . . those rumors about me getting married were true. Lex and I are married. We told Cal last night, and now I’m telling you.”

There’s nothing but complete silence, except the sounds coming from the kitchen where Lex is making breakfast.

“That was months ago,” Sean says like he’s processing.

“Yes, we’ve been taking things . . . slow. ”

“Mark,” Shane barks out. “You better not screw this up.”

I laugh. “I’m not going to. Trust me.”

“When do we get to welcome Lex to the family?” Sean asks. “I’m looking forward to seeing her without vomit slime all over her.”

“I’m not sure. I’m here for another day, and then I’ll be back. PT will hopefully be releasing me for light training soon.”

“You’ve got to get out of the city,” Shane says, Papa Bear acting like he’s three steps ahead of me.

“I know, man. I’m working on it.” I take another breath and let it out, readying myself to tell the most miraculous part. “There’s one more thing.” Both my brothers wait. “We’re having a baby.”

Nothing. Dead silence. Still nothing. I check the phone to make sure I didn’t lose them, and the call timer ticks away.

Then . . . Shane’s low laugh comes through. “You’ve got to be shittin’ me. Ha. You are going to be a father.”

The shit-eating grin that covers my face could light up a city.

“You jackass. How in the hell did you beat me to this?” Sean laughs. “Damn. After the game, we’re celebrating. Bro, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks. I’m hoping Lex will come with me. I can’t wait to see you guys.” These guys. My best friends. My brothers. My family.

“Can’t wait, man,” Sean says.

“Get ready for Maggie to blow up your phone,” Shane laughs again.

“I’m ready. I’ll see you boys soon.”

We hang up, and I find Lex in the kitchen eating toast and eggs.

“How’d it go?” She pushes a plate toward me.

“I blew their minds, but they can’t wait to welcome you to the family.”

She smiles. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.” I just have to make sure she stays.

______

ROB: New York is getting antsy. You need to meet with them. See what they’re offering and sign or let them know you’re entertaining other offers.

ME: How long do I have?

ROB: They want a meeting ASAP. I can meet you there tomorrow.

ME: Call me.