It’s Mother-Pucking Christmas!

24. Ryder

24

RYDER

I messed up. I knew that.

I shouldn’t have told her I loved her, even if I did. Even if I loved her more than anything ever in my entire life.

When I woke up in the dark hotel room, Dakota was gone. The only thing left was a note saying that her family wanted her to drive back with them.

“Darn it.” I lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, replaying the feel of being with her, being in her. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” I punched the pillow.

I’d spooked her.

And maybe lost my one chance at real happiness and a real family.

“For someone who just conducted the upset of the century, you sure don’t look happy,” Mike remarked in the locker room the next morning.

“Because he’s not sitting on his ass. He’s thinking about the next game,” Coach bellowed from where he was drawing plays on a whiteboard.

“You’re all over the sports channels, man,” Rick said, swiping through his phone in front of me. “Everyone is talking about you. Some people think you’re touched by God. Some say it’s the devil.”

“I think its love.” Pete smirked.

“It’s not. I screwed up,” I admitted.

“Jesus, Ryder. How?” Mike demanded, shaking my shoulders. “Dakota really liked you.”

Pete mused, “I wonder if he’s bad at sex. We never gave him a lesson, did we?”

“How many times did you get her off, eh?” Erik was in my face.

“You have to keep track of these things,” Pete warned. “She’s not a WAG. She’s not going to be okay with a pump and dump.”

“I’m a shitty boyfriend.” I groaned. “She’s done with me.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Rick ruffled my hair. “Dakota seemed really into you in your apartment.”

“I told her I wanted to marry her and, um, you know”—I lowered my voice— “give her children.”

“Christ.” Mike swore loudly.

“Christ what?” Coach bullied his way in.

“Don’t get in his head.” My teammates dodged as Coach tried to swat them with a broken hockey stick he kept just for that purpose.

“Hey,” he said to me, grabbing my chin, “whatever it is, don’t bring it into the stadium, yeah? I don’t want you losing focus. It’s not important. Hockey is important. Winning this next game is important. You got a lot of big-time guys interested in you, interested in this team. Do not blow it.”

“But—”

“I don’t care,” Coach warned. “Once you step on the ice, it’s not important.”

“Right, yeah, not important.” I nodded.

Except it was important. Dakota was the most important thing in my life. Ever. She was everything. I couldn’t believe I’d screwed it up with her.

I’d fix it.

I had to.

I wouldn’t make it without her.