It’s Mother-Pucking Christmas!

26. Ryder

26

RYDER

“ I figured you’d be out on your hot date,” Rick said, “not playing hockey in the cold and dark.”

“What about you?” I shot back, switching to my outside edge as I ran the high-precision drill.

“We’re trying to make sure Utah doesn’t get fired next year,” Mike announced as he and Pete stepped onto the ice with me.

Up in the stands, some fans who’d snuck into the stadium hung out, watching us practice. The girls screamed when they saw me look up.

None of them was Dakota.

“She broke up with me,” I admitted.

“Damn.” Pete gave me a hug. “You’ll get ’em next time, College Boy.”

“You…” Mike looked at me, suspicious. “You don’t look that sad or heartbroken, considering you lost the love of your life.”

“I’m going to win her back,” I said fervently. “You were right. I came on too strong. I’m going to give it a rest for a couple weeks, then try, try again. I’ll never let her go.”

“That sounds… healthy.” Erik frowned.

“She likes me, I know it. I could tell she didn’t really want to break up with me,” I continued.

“Someone’s delusional.” Rick grimaced.

“You can’t just show up at her house,” Pete lectured.

“I’m not. I’m going to… I don’t know.” I deflated. “I guess I should just leave her alone, right?”

Erik nodded slowly.

“It’s just… I love her. I thought she loved me. I guess it was all in my head. It just felt so real.” I stared out to the dark hole under the bleachers that led to the exit. “Her family felt so real. They came to my game.”

In the shadows, something moved. I narrowed my eyes, gaze focusing.

“I think lessons were learned here.” Mike clapped his gloves. “After the big Arctic Avengers game, we’ll do a postmortem and—”

“Shh!” I hushed the guys, frowning. “That’s her brother.”

Dakota’s younger brother was talking rapidly to a heavily tattooed man. Her little brother seemed upset. The tattooed man seemed angry.

“Is he talking to the bookies?” Rick whispered.

“I think those guys are mafia,” Pete said under his breath.

“You didn’t tell me you were dating the Sopranos,” Rick joked.

“They’re not some sort of crime family,” I said, picking up the hockey stick and skating over to see what was going on. Nothing was more important to Dakota than her family. If her brother was mixed up with these guys, she would want to know. She’d want me to do something.

They saw me coming and scurried back deeper into the shadows.

“You don’t need to get mixed up in that,” Erik warned. “We can’t bet on our own games. You don’t want the league to even think you’re thinking about it.”

“Something’s wrong,” I said. “I need to tell Dakota.”

“No, dude, no. Just leave her alone.” Mike cursed as I skated over to my bag, pulled out my phone, and called her.

“She’s not answering her phone.”

“You could text her,” Erik said, resigned.

“I need to see her,” I said firmly. “She has to hear this in person. I can’t shock her.”

“I’m sorry to surprise you like this,” I said to Dakota when I stepped up behind her in the Mistletoe Lounge where she was nursing what looked like her third cocktail of the late afternoon.

She jumped, almost falling off the stool.

“Ryder?” her cousin Gracie exclaimed, looking troubled. “What a—”

“Surprise? Yes, I know. I’m not stalking you, Dakota, I promise,” I said, smiling weakly at her.

She didn’t smile back. “S’fine if you are,” she slurred, trying to sit up straight.

“You weren’t answering your phone,” I said lamely, hoping I wasn’t too obvious with how I was drinking in the familiar sight of her. “I saw your brother.”

“Which one?”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a cousin?” Gracie asked me.

“No, it was Timmy,” I said urgently. “He was he was talking to a bookie. Those guys are bad news, Dakota. You need to talk to him and tell him not to place any bets. The house always wins. People lose a lot of money with those guys.”

Dakota clutched her drink

“I can go talk to him with you if you want. I know how important your family is,” I offered. “I just thought you should know.”

Dakota gave a heart-wrenching sob into her drink. “I know,” she said, forcing the words out.

“Tell your parents,” I begged. “Don’t let him start giving them money. They’re predatory. They talk people into taking out payday loans, then the hole gets bigger and bigger.”

“It’s too late. He’s already in the hole,” she warbled.

“Dakota, what?” Gracie was shocked. “Oh no. We need to call Aunt Babs and Uncle Mark and set Timmy straight. This sound horrible and serious.”

I nodded. “I’ve seen them beating people up who don’t pay up. Rick says they take fingers.”

Dakota had her arms around her torso. She looked like she was going to pass out. I wrapped an arm around her to comfort her.

“Dakota, how much did Timmy lose?” Gracie demanded. “Maybe we can just pay off his debts for him.”

She shook her head. “It’s too much money,” she sobbed.

“How much? I have money,” I offered.

“God, Ryder, stop! Stop being so fucking nice!” Dakota shrieked.

“Dakota, he’s trying to be helpful,” Gracie chided. “None of this is Ryder’s fault. Why are you screaming at him?”

“I know.” Dakota sobbed as I rubbed her back. “But the only thing that will help is if he loses the next game.”

“What?” I jerked my hand away.

Dakota rubbed at her puffy eyes. “The Icebreakers have to lose,” she said sorrowfully. “They have to lose bad. Then Timmy can make the money back.”

“Ryder’s not going to lose, Dakota.” Gracie said, taking Dakota’s drink. “I think that’s enough of that.” She set the glass aside. “Ryder is the hottest player out there. I’m not a hockey fan, but even I know that. He’s everywhere right now, and he’s not throwing the game.”

“I know.” Dakota gasped. “That’s why I tricked him.”

“What?” I said sharply. “Tricked me how?”

“None of this was real, Ryder,” Dakota admitted while Gracie looked on in horror. “I got with you to distract you, to make you like me, then I was going to break up with you right before the Frosthawks match.”

“But you didn’t…”

“I know, and Timmy lost even more money.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding. “Okay, so this relationship started off under false pretenses, but you realized as you got to know me that you do actually love me.”

Dakota slowly shook her head. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I had to.”

“So you… you don’t like me at all? Even a little bit?” There was an edge of desperation in my voice. “People have worse starts to a relationship. It’s okay, Dakota, I forgive you. He’s family. That’s what you do for family. I just want to be with you, Dakota, please. Just say you love me. Everything’s okay if we’re together.”

“Stop it. Stop being so you .” She sobbed. “I don’t love you. I never did. I didn’t even like you. You’re weird.”

I was gutted.

This was worse than being kicked out of a foster home I’d really thought I’d made a connection with, worse than all the other times combined of the other breakups I’d had. Worse than never getting presents on Christmas and finding out Santa wasn’t real when he didn’t bring me anything at the cat-hoarder farmhouse.

Not only did she not like me, she’d never cared at all. It had all been fake, had all been in my head.

It was disorienting. Disconcerting.

Maybe everyone was right.

Maybe there was something fundamentally wrong with me, something fundamentally unlovable about me.

And worse, I didn’t even know what it was, would never be able to fix it.

“Dakota, please,” I begged. I didn’t even know what I was asking for.

“Just go away, Ryder. Get out of my life.”