Javier (Alpha Heroes #12)

Chapter Twelve

Missy

Almost six hours later, we walked out of the nature reserve dry but filthy, exhausted but alive. We’d barely stopped a few times to drink some water and give the little donkey a break. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, fearing Snake’s return with more mercs coming after us.

God, I really hoped I wouldn’t faint again.

The stress had done me in. I was so furious with myself, with my stupid, defective vagus nerve, which had betrayed me in equal measure by making me unable to pull the trigger and protect Javier and my friends when they needed me the most. I was like one of those helpless dames in the old movies, always too weak to do what had to be done, always in need of rescue, a walking, talking cliché.

I dug my nails in my palms. I hated myself so much right now.

As we trekked on, patches of dry mud clung to my shoes and legs, and the heat and humidity of yet another morning on the run tested the last of my strength. I needed a shower, a meal, and a bed.

We all did.

Stalking ahead of me, Javier raised a fist in the air. He’d trained us well. I stopped under the shade of the trees, and so did the little donkey that carried the nuns.

“Stand by,” he whispered. “I’ll be right back.”

He moved forward before he disappeared into the jungle. I thought I detected some stiffness to his gait. Earlier, the cocky jackass refused any care until he “finished his job.”

After the fight was over, he’d recovered his weapons, cleaned them quickly, and made sure they worked. He’d traced Snake and confirmed he’d made his getaway in the motorboat. He’d had a lot to say about that, mostly in profanity. Next, he collected the mercs’ electronics from the nuns then tossed the dead bodies in the waterlogged swamp. It was only then that he allowed me to patch up the bloody slash on his biceps.

Despite his protestations that he was fine and apparently used to being punched, knifed, and shot at with alarming regularity, I took pains to disinfect, stitch, and cover the wound with a clean bandage from the supplies I’d packed in my backpack. I’d also injected him with antibiotics from a syringe I found in his streamlined medkit.

If the merc’s blade had struck a few more inches up and to the side, it could’ve sliced open Javier’s throat. I wouldn’t have been able to bring him back. My skin crawled at the thought.

I made an effort to block the terror of last night out of my mind. The donkey stomped a hoof on the ground and snorted. The nuns and I waited together in silence. After everything that had happened, what was there to say?

Sister Janet and Javier had carried the day. They’d done what needed to be done to survive. Me? Not so much. I’d hesitated and then I’d fainted. How pathetic was that?

I’d failed Javier, the sisters, and myself.

On a different note, my nightmare about the snakes had not come true. This was a relief. Not every terrible dream I had would become reality. Or maybe, the snakes in my dream had been a metaphor of the tattooed mercenary that had been about to shoot Javier when I got there. Who the heck knew?

The unreliability of my dreams ate at me. What was worse than having dreams that became reality? Having dreams that undermined reality and left you wondering when to believe in yourself.

“Have some water, will ye, now?” Sister Janet held out a bottle for me. “Ye look tired.”

I took a deep draft and returned the bottle. I was tired. Heck, even my soul was tired.

I couldn’t wait to get back to Thena. I craved her hugs, her laughter, her guidance. Thena would know what to make of my dreams and my attraction to Javier. She’d make sense of everything. She’d give me perspective and find a way to stop my crazy dreams.

Maybe Cece and Affie would be back at Astor House by now. Wouldn’t that be amazing? My chest lifted with hope. Perhaps I’d be the last one coming home, and we’d all be together again.

It could happen. Very soon. A small grin tickled my lips. Dash would be there as well, and so would Cook and Sandy. A full smile bloomed on my face. Everyone in one place. Well, except for Nix. He was gone forever.

The smile died on my lips.

Before the grief could take over, Javier returned. He materialized like a shadow detaching from the jungle, and motioned for us to follow him. My heart gave an extra boom . It was as if he’d been gone for years rather than minutes. He’d been so kind to me after the attack, so warm and generous with his hugs and chaste kisses. He’d allowed his relief to show in a way that made me feel as if I mattered to someone.

Something had changed between us on the road out of Nicaragua. I wasn’t sure what it was or what it meant, but it lifted me from the inside out. I trailed his cautious steps as we negotiated the terrain. Ten minutes later, we came across a dirt road and paused next to what looked like an abandoned shack.

“Welcome to Costa Rica.” Javier cocked a thumb behind us. “That right there was the border.”

“Thank the Lord.” Both nuns made the sign of the cross.

“Thanks to you.” On impulse, I strode forward and hugged Javier with all I had, feeling grateful for him, for his courage, for his affection. “We’re alive because of you.”

He stiffened in my arms.

It was odd. When I looked up, his face went blank. His arms didn’t come up to hold me. His eyes refused to meet mine. It was like hugging a statue.

Uh-oh .

The affection he’d showed me when he kissed me before was nowhere to be found. The attention he’d showered on me on the way here, the care he’d put into my keeping even after we’d survived our encounter with Snake and his mercs evaporated on contact the moment we crossed the border.

What on earth?

Perhaps my failure to shoot a man to save his life had sunk in at some point during the last six hours. Maybe, now he realized I was useless. A sound echoed in my head.

Riiiiip .

An invisible pair of scissors tore through the connection I’d felt between us, rupturing the fragile fabric we’d weaved throughout our escape. The tear hurt deep in my chest. I let go of him and studied my muddy sneakers. My face burned. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d stepped over some invisible boundary. Whatever spell had joined us before, now pushed us apart.

“Meet my teammate.” He took a deliberate step away from me and gestured toward the man who quietly eased out of the shack. “This is Tracker Team’s K-man, otherwise known as Kai King.”

“Aloha, ladies.” The man called Kai gave the sisters a deferential bow and offered me his hand. “Missy Astor. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to meet you.”

His hand enveloped mine, big and warm. His grip was firm but not crushing. His smile shimmered in his angular brown eyes and enlivened his straight eyebrows. A casual touch of grass edged his upper lips and his square jaw. He wore his straight black hair long at the top but closely cropped on the sides.

He was tall, in the neighborhood of six-two, and his rich brown skin shimmered like copper under the sunlight. His tan cargo shorts and printed yellow Hawaiian shirt couldn’t disguise his swimmer’s build—muscular calves, strapping arms, wide shoulders, and narrow hips. Was being a looker a requirement to join Tracker Team?

His Teva sandals helped carry the touristy vibe he had going, but he didn’t fool me. He radiated an alert readiness that matched Javier’s. I bet that Kai carried weapons, maybe hidden under his loose shirt, or perhaps in his inconspicuous Adidas backpack, or inside the duffle he held in his other hand.

“Your sister Thena is gonna be thrilled.” Kai released my fingers. “Omega, too. Goofman’s getting a big spanking raise out of this one.”

“Oh?” I frowned. “So Thena and Dash don’t know yet?”

“We’re on a comms break.” Javier intercepted Kai’s reply.

“Does that mean I can’t call my sister on your cell?”

“I’m afraid that’s correct.” Kai shrugged. “We can’t risk anyone tracking our comms or pinpointing our location right now.”

I let out a long sigh. I wanted to hear my sister’s voice, see her face, prove to myself that she was okay. “What about Cece and Affie? Any news about them?”

“Not that I know of.” Kai must’ve noticed the disappointment written all over my face. “We’re on it. We’ll find them, just like Javier found you.”

“I hope so.” I ventured a glance at Kai. “But it’s hard, you know?”

“One step at the time.” His eyes were full of compassion. “Or perhaps I should say one Astor sister at a time.” He cheered me up with a smile and gestured toward the shack. “Anyone need the facilities before we hit the road?”

“Me,” Sister Elsa raised her hand.

“Me, too.” Sister Janet said. “I could use the jacks.”

“It’s not a bathroom proper,” Kai explained as he tied the donkey to a tree next to the shack. “It’s a little setup I did for Guzman so he could pass for an average Joe after his mission. I wasn’t expecting you ladies, but there’s some soap, a couple of gallons of clean water, and a crapper in the back. It’ll be a little while before we get to the next stop.”

“Yer fella’s brilliant,” Sister Janet said to Javier. “He’s very fine.”

“Not finer than me, I hope.” Javier flashed his dazzling smile. “Cherry Tart, don’t you try to make me jealous now.”

Sister Janet’s eyes crinkled with her laughter.

“All right, my loves.” Javier helped the women down. “Go on. Get ready. The sooner the better.”

Chatting among themselves, the nuns made a beeline for the shack. I tugged on the straps of my backpack and lingered for a moment, watching the interaction between the two men, sensing Javier’s neglect as he pointedly continued to ignore me. He was ghosting me in real time.

Kai tossed a duffel to Javier. “Here’s your stuff.”

“I’ve got some shit for you.” Javier turned in the plastic bag with all the evidence we’d bagged. “We need to get started on those electronics. Sitrep?”

They put their heads together. In hushed, curt whispers, they briefed each other. Judging by the lines etched on Javier’s forehead and the way Kai’s straight eyebrows met over his nose, neither one liked what the other was saying. Javier didn’t give me a second glance.

The facilities were as primitive as they got, but the nuns and I made them work. I washed up quickly and donned the single change of clothing I’d brought along—a clean pair of undies, my extra set of black leggings, and a white T-shirt. They looked exactly like what I’d been wearing before. It’d been my uniform below the habit during my time with the order, and given their vow of poverty, the only other clothing I’d owned in the last three years.

Leaving the nuns to freshen up, I ambled out of the shack. Javier and Kai were still huddled together. Javier had taken off his gear and changed out of his fatigues. He wore Birkenstocks, a pair of ripped blue jeans, and a logoed T-shirt that said “I love Costa Rica.” It was my curse that he looked even hotter than before, if that was freaking possible.

The sight reminded me that, despite his body’s marvelous construction, he was dangerous to my self-esteem and therefore off-limits to me. This was especially relevant, given that I’d gotten the cold shoulder treatment just moments before. This was my lame attempt at smoothing over my severely ruffled feathers, the ones I swore I didn’t own.

I ambled to the men, and, petting the little donkey’s fur, asked, “What’s going on?”

“Change of plans.” The men traded looks before Javier continued. “We won’t be able to fly out of here today.”

I shifted my gaze from one man to the other. “Why not?”

“We’ve been ordered to lie low and stand by,” Kai said. “It’s all we know at the moment.”

Fear knotted my stomach. “Are Thena and Dash in trouble?”

“It’s more like we’re having a comms intercept problem that we have to nip in the bud before we proceed,” Kai offered kindly. “Omega is as thorough as they come, and there’s a lot going on in several fronts. He doesn’t want us to make a move until he can guarantee your safe transfer to Astor House. So, we wait.”

“How long will that be?” I asked.

“We don’t have a read on that yet.”

“K-man here has arranged covert identities for us.” Javier lifted some credit cards and a pair of Canadian passports in the air before he slipped them in his back pocket.

“Wait.” I frowned. “You said your mission was intel gathering, and you didn’t have comms for the last part of the mission. How did Kai know I was coming out with you?”

“I didn’t,” Kai said. “We prepare for all case scenarios. Bringing you out was a far-fetched one, but hey, I’m not complaining.”

“You’ll get a chance to rest, recover and recharge,” Javier said. “You and I are gonna play tourists at a resort.”

“A resort?”

“It’s a perfect hideout,” Kai explained. “Costa Rica is a tourist haven. I was gonna hunker down with Goof until we got the all clear. I even got me a brand-new reader to pass the time. It’s in the bag. But you’ll blend in as well. The resort’s security chief is part of the BB network. We’ve engaged his security staff to work with us. We’ve vetted the staff and the guests checking in and out of the hotel. This will provide extra layers of protection for you.”

“Sounds like you’ve done a lot of work,” I mumbled, feeling suddenly shy. “Thank you. Do you really think the mercs will attack us here?”

“Like I said, we prepare for all scenarios. But no worries. Javier will be with you at all times.” Kai broke out into a grin. “I can assure you, he’s smarter than he looks.”

“Hey!” Javier protested, aiming a glare at his teammate, but I managed a tentative smile.

I liked this Kai person. His eyes sparkled with honesty, and, right now, his warmth, kindness, and patience contrasted with Javier’s clinical detachment toward me. By his actions and approach so far, I got the impression that Kai was a kinder-than- average person.

“I get this is not what you expected when this blockhead showed up to bring you home.” Kai knocked his head toward Javier. “I only got our standby orders late last night. I had to improvise, so my apologies if you have to flex a little. Are you okay with the plan?”

I shrugged. “It’s better than any alternatives I can think of.”

Kai was nice. He made me feel safe and also part of the decision-making, as if my opinion mattered and I had some say over the group’s decisions.

I turned to Javier. “I suppose that the delay gives us plenty of time to drop off the sisters at the convent.”

He shifted on his feet. “Yeah, about that…”

“What?”

“Turns out the convent and the resort are in different directions.”

“Javi, you swore that—”

“ Javi ?” Kai annoyed Javier with a grin. “I hadn’t heard that one yet.”

“Not now, K-man.” Javier sideswept his friend with an irritated glance.

It slapped me in the face. I was an embarrassment to Javier. He was totally irritated by everything I did and said, like my father used to be. My shoulders slumped and my gaze roamed the ground. I felt like I was back in boarding school. I recalled my sisters’ sage advice when the mean girls picked on me.

Look up , Cece’s quiet voice echoed in my head. Always look the bitches in the eye.

Call on your pride and dignity to stand your ground, Thena used to tell me. They are your fortress. They’ll always come to your defense.

When you get dumped on, don’t give up, get even, Affie’s feisty instructions jumped to my mind’s forefront. “ Work up some attitude. Give them hell .”

I decided on the spot that, going forward, I wasn’t going to allow Javier—or anyone else for that matter—to make me feel worthless. He might’ve had a change of heart about me, but I didn’t have to like it. Straightening my back, I made a huge effort to lift my chin and challenged him with an Affie-inspired glare.

He must’ve felt the heat I aimed at him, because he shifted on his sandals and cleared his throat. “Angel, I keep my promises. So, here’s the deal. We’ll head out together. In a couple of hours, we’ll split up south of here, where our local assets are organizing another vehicle. You and I will head out to the resort. The sooner we get you there, the safer you’ll be.”

“What about the nuns?”

“King here will escort them to the convent,” Javier said. “He’ll return in a day or two to rendezvous with us at the resort.”

“Um…” Did I really want to spend any more time alone with Javier, lusting over a man who didn’t return my attraction? Did I want to hang out with someone who went from hot to cold in a snap? Could my fragile self-esteem handle it?

The answers were no, no, and no, so I made a hopeful suggestion. “Maybe you can take the sisters to the convent and Kai can go with me?”

“No, negative, not happening,” Javier countered, all too adamantly. When Kai gave him a curious glance, he rushed to state the obvious. “You’re my mission. My responsibility. We stick together until the mission’s over and you’re safely back at Astor House.”

My shoulders dropped.

Kai’s quizzical gaze studied me. “Is this okay with you?”

“I guess.” Pride and dignity . I straightened my back. “I’ll be fine.”

I must’ve looked as iffy as I felt because Javier stepped closer to me and settled a hand on my shoulder, sending tingles of awareness all over my body. His sudden touch tickled my knees and some other parts I didn’t want to think about.

Get mad. Even. I shook off his touch and took a step away from him. Oh no, you don’t .

He sighed and softened his voice. “Listen to me, Angel. I hate to admit this, but King’s good. Surfer dude here looks chill and friendly, but he’s a tough son of a bitch. He’ll get the nuns home. Who knows? He might do the job even better than me.”

“Did Angel manage to teach you a little modesty along the way?” Kai widened his grin to reveal a couple of adorable dimples. “It’s a miracle. Who would’ve thought Goof could learn humility?”

“Shut your trap,” Javier muttered.

“You don’t need to call me Angel,” I protested at the same time.

“It suits you,” Kai said, ignoring Javier’s grumblings. “Is it okay if I use it as your call sign?”

I drew back. “I have a call sign?”

Kai widened his grin. “If you want it, it’s yours.”

“Hey, my mission, my idea, my line,” Javier griped and Kai rolled his eyes at him.

“Her choice, not yours.” Kai returned his gaze to me. “Your decision.”

“Um…” Having a call sign felt like almost being a part of a team. “Okay.”

“Sounds to me that the ladies in there mean a lot to you,” Kai continued. “I’ll deliver them safely to their destination.”

My friends would be safer away from me. Once we parted ways, the sisters would have no reason to fear for their lives. Now that they were in a free country, they could practice their religion, do as they pleased. The women also needed to rest and be among their own. A look at Kai’s earnest eyes assured me he was trustable, well, as trustable as a kinder-than-average man could be.

“Okay,” I conceded. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Kai rummaged through his backpack, slid out a plastic bag with a couple of burner cells in it, and handed it to Javier. “My contacts are programmed in these. I also have a laptop for you in the duffel.” He returned his attention to me. “How about we get out of here?”

“Let’s do it.” I was so ready to get away from the border.

Kai put two fingers in his mouth. His whistle pierced the suffocating stillness of the tropical noon. A white van with a tourist company logo printed on the side rolled out of the woods. Two men sat in the vehicle. The driver parked next to the shack.

His passenger jumped down, slid opened the van’s door, and stood aside as if awaiting instructions. If the men found Javier’s carbine odd, they didn’t mention it.

“Ah.” Javier’s mouth broke into a grin. “Here come the Sisters of Charity’s best warriors, and in full battle uniform, I see.”

“Whereas ye look like a sinner trapped in denim,” Sister Janet retorted. “Magic Mike on his fecking day off.”

Javier laughed. “Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” He took her bag and came to a stop in front of Sister Elsa. “May I?”

“Sure.” She lifted a hand, and he placed it on his arm.

“This way.” He led them to the van. “I must say, you both look lovely in penguin sable.”

“I know.” Sister Elsa turned her smile in his direction. “God told me this was my color.”

“Come on, loves.” Still chortling, he helped them into the vehicle. “Let’s get you home.”

It irked me that his rich chuckles were only for the sisters’ ears. He was all teasing and fun with them, and yet he remained sober and distant with me. Jerk . Kiss a girl and leave her wanting more. Plant the lust and then stop watering it. Pretend you care and then pretend you don’t when your friend is around.

But then again, he was a man. What else could I expect? I’d also let him down. Letting people down was something I did rather well, especially since I’d grown up with few expectations anyway. Javier had never led me to believe he wanted more than a few stolen kisses and caresses when no one was looking.

Now that I thought about it, I might’ve been the chief architect of those moments. Whatever had or hadn’t happened between us, it was all in my head. I was the one who’d formed an unhealthy attachment to him. I was the one who’d dreamed of him, not the other way around. In reality, I was silly, funny-looking, and needy, and I craved people to love and protect me—the poster child for failure to thrive.

I wasn’t going to cry over something that hadn’t been real. I patted the donkey’s downy neck and asked, “What will happen to this helpful little fellow?”

“He’ll be fine.” Kai motioned for one of the men to step up. “Luis will make sure of it.”

While Kai gave the man instructions in perfect Spanish, Javier helped the sisters to get situated in the back seat. He rummaged through a grocery bag he snatched from the front seat, and handed out snacks and soft drinks to my friends.

“Missy?”

It was an order, nothing more, and he didn’t touch me as I mounted the vehicle. In fact, he almost recoiled from me when I climbed the step. I sat alone in the middle seat. Chatting behind me, the sisters passed me an Orange Crush and a power bar. I ripped open the bar, but all of the sudden, I wasn’t hungry anymore.

The driver boarded the van. Kai shook hands with Luis, who was apparently staying behind to wipe all traces of our passing and find the donkey a new home. Without giving me so much as a look, Javier loaded his ruck, gear, and duffel in the vehicle.

I bit down on my lip. The hunk had undergone the usual transformation. Inevitably, he’d turned into a jerk. And now that we were no longer in danger, he was doing all he could to show me how big of a jerk he was.

Point made. Message received. As he would say, copy that.

I clicked on my seatbelt, and, channeling Affie, projected her “go fry your eggs in some other pan” attitude at him. Well, at least I hoped I did. Attitude wasn’t something I had a lot of practice with, but hey, I was going to learn.

Kai took the front passenger seat. The van swayed when Javier mounted the vehicle, slammed the door shut behind him, and plopped down on the seat in front of me.

“You got this?” he asked, as he expanded the duffel and consolidated his ruck and all his gear in it.

“I got this,” Kai assured him. “Get some shuteye.”

Without another word, Javier slid his handgun into the back of his jeans, tucked the duffel under the seat, and propped the carbine next to the duffel for easy reach. He curled over his knees, and taking all the space in the seat, laid down on his side. His body hardly fit and his big feet hung over the edge as he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

And just like that, our dangerous adventure was over and I was on the way to my tourist destination, leaving behind all traces of my life in Nicaragua, along with the lust and the nascent affection I’d once felt for one Javier Guzman, jerk-in-chief.