Javier (Alpha Heroes #12)

Chapter Fourteen

Javier

A wall of silence stood between Missy and me. We rode in the same car, and yet she sat as far away from me as was physically possible, pressing her shoulder against the door. She seemed to be contemplating the countryside, but I knew she’d withdrawn from me. She’d closed herself inside her mind and refused me entry.

This is exactly how I wanted it. Wasn’t it?

Then why the hell did I feel so miserable?

I smothered an urge to apologize for my earlier detachment, scoot her up onto my lap, and kiss her silly. It was a bad idea. I called on my discipline to stem my impulses. Her proximity drove me bonkers. Anytime now, I was gonna explode out of my tight skin and reach out for her.

Thankfully, a big sign announced our arrival at the resort. The car turned into a private road and stopped at the guard gate, where a uniformed agent checked our passports and confirmed we had reservations. Only registered guests and employees were allowed on the grounds. It was good to know they had strict security in place and yet I couldn’t let my guard down. I wished I had a Marine battalion at my disposal.

A winding road led us through the forest and to the parking plaza. We pulled up to an open-sided stone building topped by a thatched roof weaved of dried palm leaves. I allowed a staff member to unload the suitcase, but I grabbed my duffel and carried it with me to the front desk, where, thanks to Kai’s arrangements, the clerk made quick work of our check-in.

“Here are your keys.” She handed me the plastic cards, laid out a map on the counter, and pointed with the tip of her pen. “This is the main pool. Poolside bar. The main restaurant overlooks the lake. Lounge, gym, outdoor dining. These are the thermal springs.” She flashed us a toothy smile. “Enjoy your stay and congratulations on your marriage.”

Standing next to me, Missy straightened her back so hard I almost heard her vertebrae snapping. “ Marriage ?” she muttered under her breath.

“Cover story,” I guessed through stiff lips before I deployed the brightest smile I could muster on the clerk. “Thank you.”

Someone had to look the part and Missy wasn’t it. She actually looked a little ill at the suggestion. I didn’t blame her. Imagine her hitched to me. Or me hitched to anyone. Shit . Why was my mind going against traffic?

“Please follow me.” The bellman led us across the lobby, and carrying our single suitcase, guided us through the exuberant gardens.

The place was posh and most likely expensive as hell, I realized as we strolled by the well-maintained grounds and the different types of accommodations. There were standard hotel rooms near the main pool and small villas at the bottom of the hill. A gate separated the resort’s luxury area from the rest.

Treehouse Guests Only , a sign announced. The bellman swiped his card, and we tackled the steps etched into the hillside. As we climbed, I noticed private paths that peeled off and caught a glimpse of a few secluded structures peeking out from within the forest.

“Oh, hurry! Look!” Missy pointed up at the canopy. “It’s a sloth!”

“If it’s a sloth, there’s no need to hurry,” I grumbled, spotting the creature’s long claws and furry form clinging to a branch.

Missy blushed. In addition to dampening her enthusiasm, I’d made her feel silly. Fuck me. If only I could keep my big mouth shut.

“You’ll find we share the grounds with many species of flora and fauna,” our guide was saying. “Here we are.”

Our “treehouse” stood at the top of the hill, perched on stilts and surrounded by old growth forest on three sides. Orchids, bromeliads, Birds of Paradise, ferns, and Elephant Ears grew around the place. A nice breeze carried the scents of ozone and green, combined with a floral spice.

The bellman unlocked the gate. A half-dozen steps led us to the door. The attendant guided us inside our accommodations and busied himself setting the suitcase on a stand. A long hallway opened up to a space even an ape like me could appreciate. Lots of windows brought light into the room, flanked by luxurious draperies. The exquisite tonalities of tropical walnut surrounded us, enlivening the floors, walls, and the soaring high ceilings.

In passing, I caught a glimpse of a spa bathroom with a screened-in, outdoor shower. A bar-slash-kitchenette, a sitting area, and a bedroom occupied the open plan. When Missy’s gaze fell on the king-sized bed that anchored the room, her eyes widened.

Goddammit. Was there only one bed?

An artfully carved wooden headboard rose high upon the wall, cased by the transparent, gauzy nets gathered at either side. Red rose petals formed a heart upon the crisp white linens and a pair of terry cloth folded swans sat entwined in the middle of the heart.

My guts yanked, my heart soared, and my dick came to full attention. Oh, shit . I knew what the bellboy was gonna say before he said it.

“Welcome to the honeymoon suite,” he announced, flashing a big smile.

I was screwed.

***

Missy

Either fire ants had attacked my face or my cheeks had gone into total combustion. We were in the honeymoon suite. I couldn’t shake the shock, because what did honeymooners do in the honeymoon suite?

The exact thing I’d dreamed I was doing with Javier before and after I met him.

The heat spread down to my chest and trickled lower still until it was downright uncomfortable to stand up. I pressed my thighs together and glanced at Javier. Was he thinking what I was thinking?

The answer was a rotund no. He whirled away from the bed, tipped the bellboy, then disappeared into the bathroom. I heard water running. Oh, well.

This place catered to lust, encouraged it, was built for it. Yet it was clear there would be nothing close to honeymooning in this lovely suite. I was fine with that, or I would be, once I worked this attraction out of my system.

The space was stunning. A set of panoramic pocket glass doors fronted the full width of the room and opened up to an expansive veranda, furnished with a table, a pair of chaises, and a matching set of colorful hammocks. I slid open the doors, did the same with the screen sliders, and stepped out onto the wooden deck only to discover I stood at the top of the world.

So this is why they call it a treehouse .

The forest spread around and below me, a sea of rich, deep greens that soothed my eyes and filled my lungs with fresh air. A cacophony of life sang all around—the occasional chitter of a monkey, the call of a hidden macaw, the buzz of the dragonflies as they flew past my ear. Laying my hands on the banister, I took a deep breath and allowed the sights, sounds, and smells to filter through me.

After three years of hardship and the dangers of the last few days, this moment of serenity felt surreal. Were we really safe? Had my time in hiding really come to an end? Was I ready to close this chapter of my life and open a new one?

An ethereal mist drifted below, lingering over the forest’s hollows in wispy veils. The waters of a blue lake sparkled in the distance, refracting the afternoon light. Beyond the lake, cased by the hints of a distant ocean, the spectacular cone of a majestic volcano presided over the landscape.

“Striking, isn’t it?”

I turned around to find Javier leaning against the wall by the doors. He crossed his arms over his chest and pulled up the side of his mouth into the sexy smile that made me smolder inside. A few water droplets clung to his hair, revealing he’d washed his face. The shadow of a beard remained untouched on his jaw, enhancing his roguish appearance.

The way his jeans rode his hips and thighs to perfection had me admiring him instead of the volcano. I envied his T-shirt. It hugged his muscular torso and his wide shoulders with a closeness my arms craved.

I let out a quiet breath. I had to stop thinking like this. Get over him . So he looked like sin turned to flesh. So what?

If I didn’t know better, I could’ve confused the soft gaze he brushed over me with desire. But I knew better. My lust was working overtime and since we’d crossed the border, he’d made it clear he wanted little to do with me.

To him, I was a plain young woman who fainted too often and had zero sex appeal. He didn’t fancy me. Sister Janet had been wrong, but then again, could I blame her? She was a nun, for God’s sake. I didn’t expect she’d know a lot about reading the hidden desires of men and needy women like me.

“Well?” he said. “Do you like the place?”

“It’s very nice,” I cleared the cobwebs from my throat. “The view is magnificent.”

He widened his smile. “Can’t argue with truth.”

The way his eyes gleamed when he said that confused me. Here I was, rejecting Sister Janet’s observations when I wasn’t much more experienced than she was at reading men in general, and this man in particular. What if I was reading him wrong?

“Um…” I turned around, and leaning against the veranda, faced off with him. “Would you like to… talk?”

“ Talk ?” The alarm that flashed in his gaze had him straightening on his feet. “No. Let’s not talk. No need.”

“Okay. No talking.”

I hesitated for a moment before I made up my mind. I was sick and tired of being me, timid, boring, cautious, uncertain. Something had shifted in me. It demanded action that excluded fainting and included bravery.

At the same time, I was so nervous that I had to clasp my shaking hands and force myself to take a breath. Summoning my courage, I ambled up to Javier and planted one hand on his chest, then the other.

“Angel?” His powerhouse of a chest rose beneath my palms. “What are you doing?”

“I… um—” It took all I had to utter the shaky whisper. “I need to know.”

“Know what?” he asked hoarsely.

“If it was all in my head.”

Pushing through a mental wall of fear and nerves, I lifted to the tip of my toes, stretched my neck, and closing my eyes, brushed my lips over his bristled jaw.

He didn’t push me away, but he rumbled like an awakening volcano. “Missy…”

I opened my eyes and spotted the same molten heat that flowed through my veins in his caramel irises. The way he looked at me took my breath away. Slowly, I slid my lips to the corner of his mouth and lingered there, breathing his air in short, greedy gulps, gorging on his scent, fire, earth, and salt embracing me, unlike his arms.

I almost quit.

The nervous tension strumming through me almost won, but the uptick of his heart drummed hard under my hands, sending my pulse to swish in my ears. I savored the contrast between the harsh texture of his beard and his smooth, enthralling lips.

This is so unlike you. My wits made an appearance. What on earth are you doing?

Ignoring my own questions, unable to still the pounding of my heart, I went on. I skimmed my lips over his until our mouths aligned. His lashes lowered, drawing a half-curtain over his eyes. His breath deepened. His inhalations swelled his chest and his exhalations wafted over me in ferocious gusts that filled lungs with his air and my world with his presence.

I leaned into his mouth, a contact so light I could barely feel the touch of his lips. Trembling from head to toe, I ran both of my hands up to his neck and then moved them in opposite directions to caress the ridges of his wide shoulders. Allowing my fingers to slide down the sides of his arms, I glided my hands over his flexed biceps, recognizing the strength that swelled them, the tension that stiffened every muscle in his body, the power that pulsed within him.

He didn’t move, but he didn’t ask me to stop, either. He just stood there with his hands fisted, as if built of granite. An undercurrent of heat rippled like lava beneath his skin. He wafted his delicious heat over me, radiating emotions I didn’t dare guess.

I dropped my hands and brushed my fingertips over the fine hairs that covered his forearms until I reached down to his fists. I stroked his tightly bunched together fingers, willing them to open for me.

It was like caressing stones.

You’re so much braver than you know , Sister Elsa’s word echoed in my head.

“I dreamed of you,” I whispered against his mouth, pitting my willingness against his reluctance. “I dreamed of this moment weeks before I knew you.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he grumbled through stiff lips. “But this is not fair.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “What isn’t fair?”

“You, here, now.” He winced as if he was in pain.

“You’ve kissed me before, remember?” My need reached out for his need. The voltage of our charged bodies hummed back and forth between us, a raw, almost audible buzz. “Do you want me to stop now?”

“No.” His voice was a low growl. “But…”

“But what?” Our eyes locked and the turmoil in his gaze made my chest squeeze with both dread and hope.

“You don’t know anything about me,” he muttered.

“Maybe, if you let me, I could learn.” Bold. I was being so bold. And nervy, but I really needed to know. “Right now, all I want is a kiss. One kiss. Can we do that?”

I held my breath and waited for his response, holding on to his fists. A muscle flinched in his jaw and he shuttered his eyes for a moment. His breaths grew ragged. His blusters marked the passing of precious seconds.

Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God .

What if he said no? My stomach plummeted before it shot to my throat.

Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God .

What if he said yes?

My doubts and insecurities grew with every moment that passed. I was being stupid. Needy. I was risking my pride and dignity. And for what?

An urge to run tensed my legs. I fought not to look away, not to cave.

“One kiss,” he finally murmured, his voice so low and raspy I barely heard it. “ One .”

Oh. My. God . He’d said yes. My heart flirted with a case of arrythmia. Holy Mother .

I didn’t have time to be scared.

His hungry lips avalanched over mine. His fists snapped open and his hands came up around my waist to lock me in a fierce embrace. The sheer vitality of his mouth stole my breath and so did the vicious pounding of his heart kicking against my hand on his chest.

Bubbles of joy lifted from my stomach, filled my chest, and rushed my head. When his tongue swiped over the seam of my mouth, my joy turned to pleasure. I parted my lips and welcomed his flavors, his passion, the inexplicable but devastating effect that this man had over me. A host of new sensations flooded me, overwhelming and divine.

My tongue followed as his retreated. I dipped in the well of his mouth. He grunted and held me even tighter, until the front of me yielded to his strong, muscular body. Mustering more of my newfound courage, I explored his mouth, gorging on him. This was more than a kiss. It was a string of passionate possessions linked by our famished mouths, our tangled bodies, and rasping breaths.

Oh, yes . This is what my dreams had been all about. This, and more .

Oh, God, how I want him. I want him now .

I raked his hair with my fingers, enjoying the feel of the short strands against my hand. With my other hand, I stroked the nooks and crannies of his marvelous body, which had enticed and intrigued me for longer than I cared to admit. I memorized the feel and shape of him under my touch. I wanted to capture his passion and hold it inside me forever.

A wildfire burned in my core, igniting my skin. The ache between my legs had me panting between kisses. Pasted to his front, his chiseled chest pushed against my soft breasts and my taut nipples burned against his T-shirt. His groin swelled against my belly and his scalding heat rubbed against me, urging my hips to move with him.

The kiss kept going. It somehow grew, expanding inside of me, nurturing my body and heart, blooming into a giant presence that took over my empty spaces, evolving into something unstoppable, essential, incandescent.

His mouth was in control, fierce but also tender, possessive but also liberating. I followed his lead, eager to please not just him but myself. My nerve endings tingled with new and amazing sensations. They stemmed from the touch of his hands as they traveled over my body, from the subtle undulation of his hips pressing against me, from the pleasure that his mouth and tongue unleashed in me. One of his hands dipped under my shirt. His fingers pulled aside the cup of my bra and claimed my breast.

Oh, Lord.

His hold felt exquisite, firm but fluid as he kneaded my flesh. His thumb strummed my nipple until I moaned. My nipple was a vortex of pleasure all on its own, one that brought me dangerously close to the edge of something unknown.

God, don’t let this kiss end .

Not even in my most vivid dreams had I felt like this, alive, on fire, ready to blast into an eruption of pleasure. Sliding my hand down the middle of his torso, I gasped at the hardness that tented his pants. I paused over the waist of his jeans, then dipped even lower. Through the denim, I cupped the fullness of his erection.

He groaned, a growl deep in his throat, the sexiest sound ever. He pressed his package to my palm. The feel of his arousal in my hand spiked my need and soaked my panties. I was alight with desire and stunned at the reactions raging through him.

More . I needed to feel him, bare beneath my hand and also deep in my body. Do it, I dared myself . You can do it.

As we worked our mouths into a frenzy of clashing lips, entwined tongues, and delicious sucks, I undid the top button of his jeans. The zipper yielded, and I dipped my fingers in his pants. The hard plane of his lower belly slid against my palm. The breath went out of me when I realized he wore nothing under his jeans. I glided my hand further down and gasped, discovering the contrast between his hard shaft and the soft, velvety, smooth skin that covered his sex.

One moment I had a hold of him, ready to give into all my cravings. The next moment he snarled. “Fuck, no.” He stepped away from me, ripping his lips from my mouth and his sex from my hand. His back hit the wall. “We’re not going there.”

I didn’t know if he was talking to me or to himself, but either way, his fury pummeled me. I blinked at the absence of all the rich sensations suddenly lost to me. The secondary blow of his rejection hit me like an afterthought. It was hard to think, to move. I managed a wobbly step backward, then another. My knees were trembling and arousal continued to run through me in currents of need.

I touched my lips, wondering if I’d been dreaming again, but the expression on his face was all too real. His eyes looked dark and haunted, and the terrible scowl that twisted his mouth and pulled his eyebrows together frightened me.

“What did I do?” I braced on the nearest lounger and tried very hard to keep my feet under me. “Why are you mad?”

“ One kiss.” He jerked up his zipper and buttoned his pants. “I said you could have one kiss.”

“Was it too long?” I asked, unable to understand the wrath that dripped from his words. “Did I do it wrong?”

“ Wrong ?” His frown tightened. “Hell, no. You did it well. Too well.”

“Then…” Digging my nails into the chair’s rattan, I grappled to make sense of the broken moment, of my shattered confidence. “What is it?”

“We’re done.” He peeled his back off the wall and braced on his sandals.

“Why?” My curiosity piped up, and slowly, a tide of anger awakened in my stomach, roiling in my depths like a stormy sea.

“Because I say so,” he said sternly.

“Because you say so?” I opened my mouth and closed it. I had an urge to run away, but I held myself in place. A frown twisted my face and a burst of my anger ignited. “What about me?” I fought to keep my voice from cracking. “Don’t I get a say?”

His reply was an absolute, “No.”

Fury roared in my ears, new but strong, unfamiliar inside of me, but also somehow necessary to survive this moment. A minute ago, I’d felt alive. Now, I felt as if I was dying, deprived of breath and light. I stood, needy but unfulfilled, rejected and deserted, not to mention disoriented and disheveled

With a yank, I straightened my rumpled T-shirt. I was so wet I feared that a damp spot might show between my legs. My lips burned and so did my chin and cheeks, where his whiskers had chafed my skin. Mousy Missy tried to douse the fires and play down my horror at this moment by scurrying away, maybe finding a freaking cave to hide in.

“You don’t want me.” The realization almost knocked me off my feet. Embarrassment flamed on my face and shame lowered my gaze to the deck. “All along, it was all in my head,” I mumbled, mostly to myself. “I’m not busty, curvy, or assy. I’m not up to your standards.” Tears prickled my eyes. I felt so small, dejected, and insignificant. “I’m sorry I made you kiss me.”

He was on me so fast that he startled me.

“Missy Astor.” He grabbed my shoulders and gave me a little shake. “Don’t you dare apologize for kissing me. Or for taking what you need. Or for wanting what you want.” His fingers dug into my skin. “You’re beautiful. Do you hear me, Angel? You’re perfect. You’re beyond what any man has a right to expect, let alone aspire to.”

“I… I don’t understand.” I motioned between us. “Then what’s this about?”

“Something that can’t be, can’t happen.” He let go of me and began to pace the deck, leaving me even more confused.

“If you don’t want me, just say so.”

“That’s not—” His throat rippled. “You’re very tempting, Angel, but I can’t do you.”

“Why?”

“You’re Goddess’s sister. You’re under my care.”

“Under your care?” I twisted my face into a grimace and sent Mousy Missy to crawl back into her hole. “I’m not a freaking baby.”

“I’m a professional,” he said in an arrogant tone that set my teeth on edge. “You’re my mission, and a relationship between us would be totally inappropriate in this context.”

“Wow, that’s the most mature thing I’ve heard you say yet.” Look them in eye . Pride and dignity . Attitude . “But who said I want a relationship with you?”

He stopped on his tracks. “Excuse me?”

“Relationship is a big word.” I made my stand. “I don’t need a guy or a relationship, and you already told me you don’t do love. Remember?”

“I did say that, once.” He narrowed his eyes on me.

“Maybe all I want is just a few more kisses and a little fooling around.” The words made total sense as I spoke them. “Nobody has to know. Maybe I just want to have a go at lust. In addition to being a professional, you’re a man, right?”

“Right.”

“And you have needs.”

“Sure.”

“Well, I’m a woman.” I squared my shoulders. “An adult woman who also has needs. We’re staying in the honeymoon suite.” I lifted my hands in the air. “Do you get where I’m going with this?”

“We’re not going there and that’s final.” He looked up at the sky then scrubbed his face. “The kiss was a mistake. My mistake, not yours.”

“But—”

“You’re tired and I’ve got work to do.” He took charge. “Take a shower. I’ll send up some clothing and essentials from the hotel’s boutique for you, and order you some food as well. Eat, go to sleep, and forget this ever happened. That’s an order. You got me?”

“That’s not one order.” I didn’t bother to hide my irritation. “That’s four orders. Are you going to tell me how to brush my teeth and wipe my ass, too?”

“Missy!” He widened his gaze. “This is so below you.”

“Yeah, because I’m so f-f-f—” I forced myself to start again and say the word out loud. “Because I’m so fucking angelic that you won’t kiss me anymore?”

He pointed his finger straight at me. “I ordered you to forget the kiss.”

I studied my nails. “I guess this means you won’t screw me, either.”

His head snapped up and shock widened his eyes. “What did you say?”

“What you heard.” I was sick and tired of being told what to do, of living in a box, labeled, corralled, and repressed, of being a “good girl.” I was really mad, too. Nobody enjoyed rejection. I had a right to be angry, to speak up as I had never done before. “I think it’s safe to assume you’re not going to hook up with me, bang me, fuck me, whatever you want to call it.”

His jaw dropped. “You want me to fuck you?”

“Or maybe I thought I could fuck you ,” I retorted, unable to contain my fury. “For sure, I considered it as an option. I might not be a floozy… yet. But maybe I want to be. I thought you might even enjoy fucking me before I realized you’re revolted by me.”

“What? No!” His eyes almost popped out of his skull. “I’m not—”

“Bullshit.” I crossed my arms and glowered. “You don’t want to fuck me or be fucked by me, however the hell that goes. Fine. I’ll find my own fuck buddy.”

“You will do no such thing.” A vein popped in his forehead. “What would Sister Elsa say if she heard you saying shit like that and using such vulgar language?”

“You mean because I’m saying ‘fuck’ and ‘bullshit’ and ‘ass?’” I drew quotation signs in the air. “As in asshat? Jackass? Asshole? Feel free to pick all of the above.”

“Okay, all right.” He motioned with his hands. “Calm down.”

“ Calm down ?” Red flashes exploded before my eyes. “Maybe I don’t want to calm down, and I especially don’t want you to tell me what to do!”

After my precipitous fall from the greatest high to the lowest low, this sudden liberation of my repressed temper felt justified. Yes. I wanted justice. And respect. For my person. It was as if someone had opened up the sluice gates and rivers of wrath were gushing out of me.

“Angel?” he ventured. “I get it. This was a clusterfuck. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

I flashed a sarcastic smirk. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better… how?”

“You’re mad at me. It was a messy rescue, and now you have to wait around, and you have needs, and I’m so not the guy to help out with that—”

“So now you have the right to tell me how I should feel?”

“Enough!” he barked.

I jumped and felt the color leach out of my face.

“Sorry.” He lowered his voice and scrubbed his face. “I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

I swallowed a dry gulp and kept my mad face on, but for a second, I struggled with the memories that hit me, of my father, shouting, calling me names. I fisted my hands and held on, swallowing down bitter gulps of fear and rage.

“Missy.” Javier paused to take a calming breath. “I need to make sure you’re safe here. I can’t deal with you being mad at me right now. Or ever.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I purred, low and quiet, but with an edge in my voice.

“I don’t wanna fight with you and I won’t… do the thing with you.” His throat rippled with a swallow.

“Because I’m not your type and you like hard fucks without attachment.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “Well, maybe I want the same.”

He marched across the deck. “I’m gonna leave now.”

“Yeah, leave.” I waved him off. “Run away and don’t come back.”

“I have a mission and I’ll see it to—”

“To the end, no need to remind me,” I tossed out flatly. “But we’re safe now, you said so yourself, and Tracker Team has hired local security to look after me. Right?”

“Right.”

“If that’s the case, thanks for your services. Good job. Zulu Bravo.”

“It’s Bravo Zulu,” he ground out, his eyes glittering. “What are you getting at?”

“I’m saying that your services are no longer required.” I lifted my chin a notch higher. “As it pertains to me, consider your mission over.”