Jump Start

12. Twelve

Twelve

Thoma s

I watched her car disappear down my driveway, resisting, with every muscle in my body, the urge to run after her and ask her to stay. I didn’t ask her out here so we could fuck. I just wanted to spend more time with her, but I guess it just happened naturally. All that flirting, banter, and pent-up frustration from the past few months had to lead somewhere.

It had been a great day, and I felt lucky to finally spend some time with her alone, to hold her against me and think of only us in the moment. I didn’t get a lot of time to myself like that. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.

I turned to walk back into the house and felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Hoping it was Harper, I answered with a smile.

“Are you drunk or something, mate?” Xavier laughed as I answered.

“Oh, it’s you. Thought it was Harper.” I cleaned up the barbecue area as I continued to speak to my brother and filled him in on how the weekend had gone.

“Well, you sound like one of the luckiest sons of bitches out there right now I reckon, mate.” I knew he was right; I was lucky—lucky to be able to live my dream, and lucky to have perhaps met the love of my life. She just didn’t know it yet .

“I don’t know what happened, mate. I invited her out here, I guess to see if she was a good fit for me,” I explained as I dangled my feet back in my pool.

Xavier paused on the other end. “I’ve never heard you speak about any girl like this before. I’m happy for you, bro, just remember to open up.” His voice echoed as he walked through a parking garage to his car.

I knew he was right, I did tend to clam up, to not voice my feelings, especially to girlfriends. Maybe I just never thought I was worthy of real love, that was why I never tried before, but I wanted to try, and I wanted to get it right.

***

Harper

My car met the pavement on the road out of Thomas’s house and I let out a belly laugh as I drove away. I couldn’t quite comprehend what had just happened. I thought I would go out to his house, perhaps get into a fight with him, and leave thinking about how much of an asshole he was. How wrong I was.

As I pointed my car in the direction of Sydney CBD, I noticed the sky beginning to form wispy clouds and the soft orange colour of dusk was starting to fade in. I had spent all day at Thomas’s house and completely lost track of time .

Eventually, I arrived at my apartment building. The drive down to the parking garage was dark, and the automated lights hadn’t turned on straight away as they always did. I pulled into my spot and felt slightly relieved, like the weight of the day and our situation had taken a turn, to what exactly, I wasn’t sure. I trudged into the lift, thinking about how nice a hot shower would be and washing my hair. The water in Thomas’s pool did no favours for the tone of my blonde hair.

The rest of my Sunday night was spent cooking a few meals for the week, doing some washing, and I was able to get a bit of reading in as well. By the time it was late enough to jump into bed, I realised that I had not heard from Thomas. I almost didn’t want to reach out to him, wanting to see if he would make the effort. A small part of me wondered if sex was all he wanted from me, but I shook my head at the thought. Surely not.

I decided not to contact him regardless. I needed some time to myself. I tried to finish the rest of my book and kept falling into micro sleep. I loved to read but most of the time it relaxed me so much I would pass out with a book on my chest and my bedside lamp still on. I snuggled down in the soft sheets and blanket, exhausted from the day but excited for new possibilities on the horizon.

***

The stark sound of my alarm woke me bright and early. I realised I had forgotten to shut the blinds, and the morning summer sun blared into my bedroom and my eyeballs. Slowly, I sat up and wandered into the kitchen to make a coffee. I simply could not function until I had at least a few sips. This was always something my family loved giving me shit about. “Oh, Harper can’t be disturbed in the morning,” they would say. “Harper’s a grumpy pants, blah blah.”

Some of us just weren’t meant to wake up early and that was fine. As I waited for the machine to warm up, I checked my phone. Still nothing from Thomas. I was not going to contact him first.

As I trudged around my apartment getting ready for work, I found my mind going back to the day before. Thomas’s arms wrapped around me, his mouth on my neck, his skin, warm from the sun, pressed against my own nakedness.

What a delicious thought.

I continued to daydream about sex with Thomas. Not a bad way to spend a commute.

I arrived at the Sydney Daily building with a few minutes to spare, and a completely turned-on frame of mind, ready to start the day. As I said the obligatory good mornings to people in my path, I eventually reached my desk and turned on my computer. I settled in and noticed there were a few people gathered around Harry’s office, so I tried to angle my neck to see if I could make out what was going on.

“Don’t bother,” Meredith commented from behind me, “it’s all the men in the office getting their sports fix.”

“Oh, hey! How are you? How was your weekend?” I was happy to see her, it had been a while since we had caught up properly.

“Hey, it was great. I got to see my family and we went into the city for some cocktails. Certainly felt it yesterday. Have you seen him yet?” Meredith asked as she took a seat next to me .

I looked at her confused. “Seen who?” I asked, looking back into Harry’s office. “Thomas. He’s here for a discussion with his boss and Harry.”

I felt my stomach drop. “Discussion about what?” I asked, starting to feel queasy.

“Harry’s looking at building stronger relationships with sporting teams. He’s meeting with the football executives later today.”

Thomas never mentioned that he would be coming into the office, let alone to discuss business with the company I worked for. I tried not to jump to conclusions, but I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

“Makes sense. We are a mostly political and finance outlet,” I replied, trying to sound professional and stuffed the ugly feeling in my chest back down.

The men crowding the office suddenly dispersed and I saw Harry close the door. Before he did, I caught a glimpse of the back of Thomas’s head as he sat up straight on the leather couch. I tried to get my brain into gear to start work properly, but my mind was preoccupied by whatever was going on in that office. My desk phone rang and sprung me back to reality. It was one of the designers who wanted my opinion on the typesetting for a piece I submitted earlier in the week. I was grateful for the distraction and made my way down to the art department. Half an hour later, and after several debates on serif or sans serif—we settled on serif—I ventured back up to my desk.

As I approached the area near my desk, Harry stepped out of his office, followed by Chris and Thomas. They all seemed to be in good spirits, smiling and shaking hands. They hadn’t seen me yet, so I used that to my advantage to rush back to my desk and look busy.

“Thank you, gentleman, I will be in touch.”

As they walked further from Harry’s office, I noticed Chris looking around the room, and our eyes connected.

“Harps!” he announced a little too loudly for the quiet office and bounded over to me.

“Hey, Chris!” I stood up as he walked over, planted a kiss on my cheek, and gave me a quick hug.

When we broke apart, Thomas walked into my space and pulled me in for a side hug. I felt magnetised to him instantly.

“Harper,” he said, his voice low and emotionless.

As Chris and Thomas politely engaged in small talk with myself and Meredith, I could barely listen. Had I dreamt yesterday? Was this man the same one I had spent the entire day with? I began to spiral.

“Harper, would you like to grab a coffee? Chris has another meeting, and I’m not invited to that one,” Thomas asked after letting go of me.

“Ah, sure,” I answered, trying to sound casual.

As I followed him and Chris out of the building, I felt my muscles relax slightly in the comfort that Meredith hadn’t asked to come. My plan was to grill Thomas over coffee.

We parted ways with Chris, and I led us to my favourite coffee shop not far from the office. We walked in silence, and my determination to find out what was going on was subdued by the feeling of his hand holding mine. I stayed silent.

“So, how are you?” Thomas asked as we waited for our coffee.

“I’m good. And you? Why didn’t you mention you were coming into the office today?” I asked, trying not to sound paranoid .

We lined up behind the counter, and he paused to answer but then it was his turn to put his coffee order in.

“Two oat flat whites, please,” he said to the attendant, holding up two fingers. I caught myself staring at them, remembering where they had been yesterday.

“I was going to mention it, but the day sort of got away from us, wouldn’t you agree?” he asked with a wink. I laughed. Whenever he tried to do something cool, he just ended up looking like a dork.

We sat down on an old, brown leather couch in the corner, rolling together as the cushions slanted to the middle.

“Things did indeed happen,” I agreed but then stayed silent.

Thomas placed his hand on my thigh as we waited for our coffees. “I really enjoyed yesterday, but I want you to know, that’s not why I asked you out to my house, Harper.” His eyes searched mine as he spoke. I could tell he was genuine, and I smiled and looked down at his hand, which was squeezing me now.

“I know that. I initiated it, remember?” I leant my head on his shoulder, still waiting for him to say something like “GOTCHA” or “this was all a joke” but he didn’t, he kissed the side of my head and leant against me a little heavier.

** *

Thomas

This was it, my time to not be a coward. The server brought over our takeaway coffees and placed them on the table in front of us. Harper’s head was leaning on my shoulder, and no matter which way I tried, I couldn’t reach the cups. I chose the contact over the coffee.

“Harper?” I asked, looking down at her golden hair on my shoulder.

“Mm?” She sleepily raised her head and looked up at me. I cupped my hand over her head again and she leant back down.

“Come to the race with me this weekend?”

She quickly shot up and smiled. “Mmm?” she replied with a smirk on her face.

“On one condition,” I said raising a finger in the air. She turned to face me on the couch.

“And what’s that, Thomas?”

“You come as my girlfriend.”

She tapped her nose with her index finger, exaggerating as she mulled it over. “Hmm…interesting proposition you have there, Jackson.”

The room was silent, to me at least. I couldn’t hear anything but the hesitation in my breath as I waited for her response.

I went to speak but she put her finger on my mouth. “Yes.”

See where not being a coward gets you?