Just a Number (Thirst Trap #2)

9. Mel

Chapter nine

Mel

I can’t believe he kissed me and that I kissed him back. I’ve pretty much been in full-blown panic ever since. My work has been non-existent. I need to get this contract reviewed, but there’s no way I can focus on it now. It was a relief when I heard the rumble of his bike as he rode away.

What the hell was I thinking?

He’s just too tempting; the way he looked at me, desire dripping from his gaze. It had stoked a fire in me that I hadn’t realised was there. And apparently, a man getting on his knees and telling me that he wants to worship me is a huge turn-on. Who fucking knew? I’m going to still be fantasising about that when I’m old and in the retirement home.

Not for the first time, I raise my fingers to my lips and brush over them. I’d been more turned on by that kiss and him on his knees than I think I had the whole time I was married to John.

It would be so easy to give in, to take it further. When my mind was foggy with arousal, it was hard to remember why I shouldn’t do it. Why I shouldn’t give in to this fantasy that keeps running like a movie or one of my favourite books through my head.

I realise I’m not getting anywhere sitting here going over it again and again in my mind. I grab up my phone and send a quick text to Cassidy.

Me:

Mayday

I stare at the screen, willing her to reply. I could just call her, but I don’t want to disturb her if she’s writing or busy with Tom. I drum my fingers on the desk, trying to decide what to do.

I pull up my earlier call log and stare at Alex’s number. It’s not yet saved with his name, but I do that, so if he calls me again, I’ll know it’s him. And hopefully, do myself a favour and ignore it. I click on his name and type out a quick text:

Me:

That shouldn’t have happened. We can’t do that again.

I hover over the send button, but something pulls me back from clicking it. I heave a sigh and delete the drafted message, throwing my phone on the desk in frustration.

I’ll check on Zack. That should bring me to my senses.

I find him in the lounge, shouting orders into his headset at whoever he’s gaming with. He doesn’t even notice me loitering in the door and I don’t want to disturb him, so head through to the kitchen. I busy myself with dinner prep, pulling ingredients out of the fridge to start a curry.

A while later, Zack saunters through, nose in the air. “Smells amazing, Mum. What are you making?”

“Just a curry, love. There should be some leftovers for tomorrow, too.”

He’s rummaging around in the fridge and backs out with a can of beer in his hand. “Hey, I had a thought earlier.”

“Oh, yeah?” I glance over at him, wondering what’s on his mind.

“We’ve got that space above the garage, and when Dad first left, you were talking about getting a lodger.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. I haven’t really thought about it since then.” I tread carefully.

“Perhaps we could clear it out for Alex if he needs somewhere to stay longer term? I don’t think he'll give you any bother.”

It’s with an immense sense of relief that I’m able to say, “I think he’s got somewhere, love. When I gave him the key earlier, he was talking to his sister and I think she’s found him somewhere to stay from the weekend.”

“Oh, sweet. Never mind then.” He shrugs it off as though it’s no big deal and I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have to come up with a reason why Alex can’t live here with us on a more permanent basis. Even in the bedsit above the garage is too damn close.

Once we’ve had dinner, Zack shoos me out of the kitchen to leave him to tidy. Thank you, Alex, for influencing him to help out more often. I head upstairs to grab my phone that I left on the desk earlier, spotting multiple messages and three missed calls from Cassidy. I read through the messages.

Cassidy:

Hey, what’s up?

Dammit, Mel, pick up. What’s going on?

How very dare you send me a mayday text and then ignore me. If I don’t hear from you within the next hour, I’m going to make Tom drive me to your house to check on you.

Oops!

I check the time. Thankfully, I’m still within the hour window she gave me. When I call her, she answers before it’s barely had a chance to ring.

“Mel… Thank god. Are you okay?” Relief sounds in her tone.

“I’m fine. Sorry to worry you.”

“Why the hell did you mayday me?”

I look over to the office door and decide to close it. Zack will probably go back to his gaming after tidying the kitchen, but it’s best he doesn’t overhear this.

“I kissed him. Well, he kissed me. But I kissed him back.”

“Who?”

“Alex,” I whisper.

“Alex? The twenty-something-year-old? Yass, Mel, get in there.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard her so gleeful.

“He’s twenty-five.” It seems important to point that out. “It was a mistake. I don’t know why I gave in, but he got down on his knees and said he wanted to worship me. Apparently, that’s all I need to give into attraction and leave my morals at the door.”

“He got on his knees?” Her voice pitches high with excitement. “Sweet mother of god, you need to keep him. He sounds like exactly what you need.” I heave a sigh. “What happened next? Tell me you got further than kissing.”

“We got interrupted. He’s gone to work. I’m grateful for the time to cool off, to be honest.”

“Honey, I don’t think you need to cool off. I think you need to jump into this situationship with both feet. I say you seduce him when you see him next. When will that be?”

I gasp. “I can’t do that,” I almost shriek. “He’s Zack’s friend. And he’s staying here for a couple of days. It would be like taking advantage of someone in my care.”

“Mel, stop. He’s twenty-five. He’s a grown-ass man. And from everything you’ve said… he’s hot. This doesn’t have to turn into the love of your life. Just let yourself have some fun and blow off steam.”

I close my eyes, not that Cassidy can see me. I don’t know why I thought she’d help me see sense. I should have guessed that the sex-crazed, smut author—who, until very recently, was part of a throuple—would be trying to enable me to sleep with Alex.

“I say you jump his bones. When does he get back from work?”

“It’ll be late. He’s at the pub. I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but he works at The Thirst Trap. I think he’s the new blood Abby mentioned.”

Cassidy breaks into hysterical laughter. “Oh my god, that’s perfect. The universe wants you to do this, Mel. There are too many coincidences for you not to give in and get railed here.”

“The universe wants this forty-year-old divorcee to fuck a twenty-five-year-old? Albeit a tattooed, motorbike riding one. But really? That’s how you think you’re going to convince me?”

“Oh,” she gasps, “it all makes sense now.”

“What does?”

“Abby texted me earlier to say she thinks the new blood would be perfect for you. Apparently, she saw him with his shirt off and gave the Abby seal of approval.”

“What?” Fury bubbles up from my feet. “Did they sleep together? Why did she see him naked?”

“Not fully naked, Mel, just his shirt off. I dunno why. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t sleep with him. I would have got more details from her if she had. Wait a minute… you’re jealous?”

“Fuck you. No, I’m not.”

She gives a throaty laugh. “Oh, honey, you’re so jealous right now. You need to get down to the pub and claim your man. Want me to meet you there?”

I sigh. “I can’t do that. He distracted me so much earlier that I didn’t finish this contract review, so I need to get it done tonight. There’s another meeting in the morning.”

“Dammit.” Her tone is distinctly dissatisfied.

“Maybe this is a sign from the universe that it shouldn’t happen.”

“Pah. No, it’s not. We just need to figure out the logistics. Maybe you should hire a hotel room so you can be as loud as you like without Zack overhearing?”

“Cassidy, stop. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” God, but I wish it would.

“Hmmm, we’ll see.”

I need to throw her off the scent, so I ask how Tom’s doing. She surprisingly takes the bait and tells me about the day they’ve had together, but as the conversation comes to a close, I’m not convinced I threw her off completely, when she says, “There’s a live singer at the bar on Friday. He’s supposed to be amazing. Let’s go see him and maybe you’ll get to watch your guy at work while we’re there.”

I don’t even want to say no. I don’t know if Alex will be working then, but I’m curious to see him in the work setting. I want to see him outside of this house, in a different environment. I can kid myself that it’s because it might break the spell. But I think I’m just becoming obsessed. And if he’s not there, then maybe I’ll still be able to blow off some steam and have a good night.

“That actually sounds good. I’m in the mood for a dance.”

“It’s a date,” she cries excitedly. “I’ll see you then.”

We hang up and I get back to my contract review, determined to get it done this time.

Friday is here.

I’ve managed to avoid Alex up until now. I didn’t hear him come in from his late shift after our kiss, and my early meeting the next day meant I was out of the house before he emerged for breakfast. He wasn’t home for dinner last night, and I was scared to arouse suspicion by asking Zack where he was.

I pull up at home after all day in the office and let out a sigh of relief when I don’t see his bike here. Another lucky escape.

Shit, what if he’s avoiding me? My shoulders sag. Perhaps he regrets the kiss and doesn’t want anything to do with me. Maybe I shouldn’t go to the bar tonight. If he’s working, he might think I’m stalking him.

But Cassidy was so excited when I agreed, and he might not even be there tonight, anyway. If he’s there, I’ll just make sure to stay well clear. He’ll be busy. It will be fine, I try to convince myself.

I head inside and get changed into something more casual than my office attire. I squeeze into some faded black jeans that make my backside look fabulous. I add a lacy black camisole, strappy black heels and dig out my leather biker jacket. I haven’t worn it for ages but it will keep some of the chill off from the autumn evening.

I let my hair down from the clip I held it back with today and run my fingers through it. Bending down and hanging upside down, I shake it out to give it a bit of volume. That’ll do. Next up, I freshen up my make-up with some smoky eyeshadow and a thicker line of eyeliner and finish with a red lip.

I bite my lip as I look at myself in the mirror. Trying too much? Or not enough? I’ve worked really hard on my confidence in the last year or so since John left, but every now and again I have a little wobble.

He left me.

He didn’t want me.

Why would anyone else?

No. I shake my head and refuse to let these thoughts consume me. I’m just heading out for the night to meet a friend, have a dance and a few drinks and I’ve dressed up for the occasion. That’s all. I don’t need to turn this into something bigger than it is.