Keep Me If You Can (If You Can #3)

3. Hypothetically Hypothetical

Chapter three

Hypothetically Hypothetical

Did I, in hindsight, have to text JP at that exact moment, considering his sister was sitting at the table with me?

No.

Did I think of that before hitting send?

Also no.

But did JP at least have more common sense than me and hold off on texting me back because he knew Anne-Marie was in Ottawa that weekend and made the connection that I texted him because she’d told me he moved out and therefore would likely be sitting right there?

Of course not. JP was a dumbass and I was at least three times smarter than he thought he was. If I hadn’t thought of those things, there was no way he would, either.

Which meant I ended up trying to subtly text him back while simultaneously listening to Anne-Marie go through the past month’s worth of gossip, since apparently the hour we chatted on the phone each week wasn’t enough to make a dent in everything that had happened.

Bastard

I was wondering if I’d hear from you. AM’s driving you up the wall already?

I tried not to glower at my phone, glancing up at Anne-Marie to make sure she was absorbed in her story about how her coworker at the place where she was a personal shopper had helped a politician’s wife drop over ten grand on lingerie three days before it was revealed that she was having an affair with a politician from the opposing party, and sent a response.

Me

I just wanted to say congrats, jerk pants. Didn’t mean to bother you with my well wishes.

As soon as I sent it, I flipped my phone face down on the table next to my beer and looked up, nodding as if I’d been listening to Anne-Marie all along.

“—love how subversive it is,” she said. “It is like the Martelle group is daring anyone to say something about Claire’s… relationship? Relationships?” She frowned. “I do not know if it is plural.”

“It should be,” Sydney the linguistics nerd said. “It would be one relationship if they were all with everyone else involved, but from what Nellie said, Claire and her fiancée are one relationship, and then Claire’s thing with her girlfriend is another relationship.”

“And Claire’s girlfriend’s thing with her two boyfriends is a relationship,” I said. “If I’m remembering it right from the Diamond Gala.”

Next to my hand, my phone vibrated. My hand twitched because there was nothing I hated more than an unread notification, but I forced myself to ignore it.

“That is what I just said, chérie ,” Anne-Marie said, her eyes sparkling.

“Right,” I said. “I was making sure I heard you right.”

“Well, yes. In any case, I do not think Tessa—that is her girlfriend, we met at the Saisons de Changement celebration over the Labour Day weekend—will move here permanently. It seems more that they are making it clear that the Martelles will hear no criticism of Claire’s lifestyle, and honestly, that is so good for them. I think—”

And then I lost my focus on her as my phone vibrated again. I tried to ignore it again, but when it vibrated a third time, I had no choice.

The first message was just a set of laughing emojis because JP was apparently incapable of sending a single emoji to get his point across, followed by two texts.

Bastard

I’m messing with you, babe

Can’t blame a guy for making a joke after he’s been ignored for a month, you know?

Me

Phones go both ways, asshole. You could’ve messaged me first

Bastard

Since when?? I didn’t think—

The chair next to me pulled out before I finished reading and I jumped, nearly dropping my phone. Fumbling it, I slammed the power button to turn the screen off.

“Are you okay?” Remy asked, giving me a strange look as he sat down.

“Fine,” I said.

“Are you sure, chérie ?” Anne-Marie said.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.

“Well, your face is red.” She looked at Sydney with a smirk on her face. “It is, yes?”

Sydney shrugged somewhat apologetically. “A little, I guess.”

My phone buzzed in my hand, the screen flashing on. I pressed the power button quickly.

“If you are texting someone who makes you blush, chérie , I think you should be telling me about it,” Anne-Marie said, her voice pitching up as her eyes sparkled.

“I’m not ,” I insisted, even though I could feel my cheeks burning hotter. “It’s a classmate I’m doing a group project with.”

“What group project?” Sydney asked, frowning.

“The one for my Forensic Science and Law class,” I said.

Her frown deepened. “Really? You have a group project in that class?”

I tried to keep my voice even as I willed her to understand me telepathically. “Yeah. And you know him. He’s a total bastard.”

I watched three confused blinks flutter Sydney eyelids before realization flashed in her eyes.

“ Oh ,” she said, drawing the word out. “Right. The bastard from your Law class.”

Somehow, that convinced Anne-Marie to drop it, although Sydney gave me a meaningful look that plainly said she expected details later. Which was unnecessary because she was one of my two best friends and since I’d never had a secret friends with benefits arrangement with her brother, she was the first person I’d give details to about it.

Anne-Marie started talking about one of the benefits she’d been to and Remy opened his book. I waited, my palm sweating against my phone until he was absorbed in it again.

Then, heart racing in my throat, I looked at JP’s messages.

Bastard

Since when? I didn’t think this app let me do that

In all seriousness, I thought you were done with me.

Me

What’s that supposed to mean?

Bastard

I didn’t want to make it awkward if you were trying to ignore me.

And no hard feelings if that was the case, okay? I promise. I knew our arrangement, Nell.

My heart floated out of my throat and back into place, relief cushioning it as I let out the softest, least obvious breath I could. “Seriousness” and “JP” were two words I didn’t want to think in the same sentence, but seeing him say, spelled out in writing, that he knew what this summer was held more comfort than I thought it would.

Me

I wasn’t ignoring you. I haven’t been back to Montreal.

I don’t know if I’m ever going back, either.

I don’t know if that answers whatever you mean by if I’m done with you.

“—hate that Nellie was right about it,” Anne-Marie said.

My name caught my attention and I looked up from my phone. Next to me, Remy mirrored the action, putting his napkin back in his book.

“I don’t know if she’s completely right,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, wishing I’d heard a crumb of context so I knew what Anne-Marie meant.

“I don’t know if what he’s doing is gaslighting him,” Remy said. “It’s not so much that Niko is convincing Bruno about things that didn’t happen, but—”

Anne-Marie cut him off with a heavy sigh. “Technicalities, Remy. You know what I mean. Niko is bad for him. He all but said to us that he got Bruno to cancel on Nellie as a loyalty test.”

Oh.

Shit.

I didn’t want to be right about Bruno ditching out on being my approved-of date for the social events I’d had to attend over the summer because Niko had manipulated him into it.

“Is he okay?” I asked. “Bruno, I mean?”

Anne-Marie looked at me apologetically. “Had I known Niko was like this, I would never have tried to get him and Bruno together. But it wasn’t until after that he started acting like this. Not that I saw, anyway.”

I looked from her to Remy. “Is anyone helping him?”

“No,” Remy said.

I whipped my head back to Anne-Marie. “No one’s doing anything? Why—”

“He does not want help, chérie ,” Anne-Marie said. “Trust me. I have tried. But he is embarrassed to admit he was wrong. And he’s been convinced people are trying to break them up because they have something against Niko. By Niko, of course.” She looked pointedly at Remy. “Which is gaslighting.”

Remy nodded, then looked back at me. “We are making sure he knows we are there for him. So when he is ready for help, he can get it.”

The four of us were quiet for a moment.

“But all is not bad!” Anne-Marie finally said, her voice brightening. “Actually, Bruno came to the Saisons de Changement event and Niko was not with him. It was a beautiful event and the company that organized it is doing the police benefit at the end of the month.” She turned to Sydney. “If you are still seeing your cop friend, you should ask if he is going!”

“Oh,” Sydney said. “Well, yeah. Sort of.”

Anne-Marie raised her eyebrows. “What happened?”

“I haven’t been back to Montreal and she usually gets a ride with me,” I said.

“That’s not all of it,” Sydney said loyally. “Olivier was away for a couple of weeks because of the wedding he was in.”

Anne-Marie raised her eyebrows. “He did not take you as a date?”

“Well, it’s not like we’re super serious,” Sydney said. “And it was in Alberta, so I would’ve had to pay to—”

“Wait,” I said, frowning. “The wedding for… what was his name? Colin?”

“Cody,” Sydney said. “Yeah. Olivier was the best man.”

I frowned. Sydney had met Olivier at Cody’s bachelor party after one of the other groomsmen enlisted me so Cody could win a scavenger hunt. Well, he’d enlisted Anne-Marie, actually, but she’d left the bar wearing the panties he’d given her to give Cody, so I’d taken one for the team and surrendered my favourite panties to make up for it.

It worked out. I ended up having a threesome with a cowboy and a bad boy, and I was almost certain they’d ended up together.

But that had happened months ago.

“They planned the bachelor party, like, six months ahead of time?” I asked skeptically.

Sydney shook her head. “The wedding was supposed to be in April, I think, but the venue flooded the night before. The bride had her heart set on this place, so they postponed it instead of trying to find a new place that day. And, like, new decorations and stuff, since it was all there.”

Anne-Marie clutched her chest. “ Crisse de tabarnak , I would have died. Can you imagine —”

She launched into another string of words, which worked out well because my phone vibrated again.

Bastard

I mean hypothetically, if we had the opportunity, are you into continuing what we were doing?

Basically I wanna know what the chances are of, say, me getting a pic of your tits is

For fuck’s sake. He couldn’t be serious right now.

Me

Are you asking me for nudes?

Bastard

Hypothetically speaking, yes. If you’re not done with me.

Me

Hypothetically speaking, you’re a perv.

Bastard

Can you hypothetically blame me?

Me

Who else would I hypothetically blame?

Bastard

Look, babe. I’m not ashamed to admit that you’re hot as fuck. And I went and got myself spoiled by getting that ass regularly over the summer

Which sucks. Now when I want to get laid, I have to work for it again. I figure I’m way more likely to get a pic by asking for one

Me

And you think you’re going to convince me to send you a picture of my tits by calling me easy?

“But your father wasn’t there, for better or for worse,” Anne-Marie said. “Did your dad happen to mention if Kimberlee was feeling better, Nellie?”

“No,” I said. “I haven’t been talking to him much.”

Anne-Marie frowned. “Excuse me?”

I looked up, confused. “What?”

“Who called you easy ?” she asked, looking disgusted.

I stared at her, then looked down at my phone, where the message I thought I’d sent JP was actually what I thought I’d said to Anne-Marie.

Me

No, I haven’t been talking to him much

Bastard

Uh… was that meant for me?

Shit.

Shit .

Across the table, Sydney had her napkin pressed to her mouth, trying not to laugh. What had I—

“Oh, it is the bastard from your class still, isn’t it?” Anne-Marie said. “What’s he trying to convince you to do?”

Oh, good. Apparently I hadn’t said the tit-pic part out loud.

“Finish his section of the report,” I said. “It’s fine. He’s just, uh… he’s being stupid.”

Anne-Marie scoffed. “More than stupid. How dare he say that about one of my best and dearest friends? Tell him to back off or I will come deal with him myself.”

It was touching that she was willing to do that for me, but unnecessary given that my classmate was fictional. “I’ll let him know. But, uh, what did you ask me?”

“If Kimberlee was feeling better,” Anne-Marie said. “I have never known her to miss an event before, so her flu must have been outrageously bad. And since your dad missed it, too, I thought perhaps she was in the hospital or something.”

“Oh,” I said. “No. He didn’t mention anything.”

Anne-Marie frowned. “Really?”

I nodded. “Keep in mind my dad only calls to ask me to skip the classes he’s paying for so I can go to Montreal and impress the Martelles again.” I forced a laugh, hoping it made my bitterness less obvious. “He wants me to help him network or something. But I don’t have time.”

She nodded, sympathy in her dark brown eyes, but before she could say anything else, the server stopped by our table. I tried to ignore the guilty feeling of being distracted while I was supposed to be visiting with Anne-Marie as she ordered another drink and dipped my head to message JP again.

Me

Not meant for you. I meant to ask if you think you’re going to convince me to send you a picture of my tits by calling me easy

Bastard

Hypothetically, yes

But only if you’re not done with me

Me

And if I am?

Bastard

I won’t ask

I might be an asshole, but I’m gonna be a respectful asshole

I tapped my foot nervously beneath the table. Anne-Marie had somehow started talking about the gym again, Remy flipped the page in his book, and Sydney was paying attention to the conversation like a good friend would.

Me

Are you?

Bastard

Respectful? I just said I was

Me

No

Are you done with me

Hypothetically

Bastard

No.

And maybe he should’ve been.

Maybe we both should’ve been.

Maybe I shouldn’t have waited until Anne-Marie finished talking about her friend Lisette’s totally not noticeable nose job but extremely noticeable lip fillers to excuse myself to the bathroom.

But, I figured as I lifted my shirt, aimed my camera at the girl reflected in the mirror, and made sure the phone blocked my face so the pink tinge still on my cheeks wasn’t noticeable, none of it mattered anyway.

Because hypothetically, this was all hypothetical.