Keep Me If You Can (If You Can #3)

5. Good Golly

Chapter five

Good Golly

One time, I skipped class because my blender broke.

I’d been on a smoothie kick. Not as part of a diet or anything, but because no one would question what I drank so long as I said it was full of protein and antioxidants.

And yeah, they might have been milk proteins and the antioxidants were from the blueberries in my blueberry cheesecake ice cream, but that was no one’s business but my own.

But that morning, my blender stopped working. And instead of making something else for breakfast or stopping at a coffee shop or eating the ice cream without blending it into a milkshake first, I took the base of the blender apart and tried to fix it.

Three hours later, my blender was working again, but I’d missed all my morning classes and it was also past lunchtime, so I didn’t feel like a smoothie anymore.

Another time, I skipped class to have a threesome.

Surprising, I know. I’d started chatting with two super-hot girls in my biology class, we realized we were all into women, and when the class finished, we went to one of the girls’ dorm rooms and spent the rest of the day in an endless cycle of orgasms.

But of all the classes I’d skipped and all the reasons I’d justified it, I had never, not once , even considered the potential of skipping class to clean.

I figured I hated cleaning so much because my mom hated it, too. The little townhouse we’d lived in was never truly dirty, but it didn’t have the stark spotlessness that my dad’s house had before they got divorced. So when I needed to be punished, her go-to was chores, chores, and more chores, and always the ones that required me to go through everything and sort it, decide what to keep and what to throw out, and lose track of where everything was because while things were a mess, it was a carefully curated mess.

So I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it said that I skipped my Tuesday morning classes to clean my apartment.

I didn’t want to think about why I finally put the pile of clothes that had been living beside my dresser into the closet.

Or why I took the textbooks from last semester and set them on the bookshelf in the spare room. Why I washed all of my dishes and put them all away instead of leaving them in the sink to dry. Why I put fresh sheets on my bed and opened the curtains to let in some light and lit a goddamn candle even though I wasn’t supposed to have candles according to my lease.

And I refused to acknowledge that even though I did all that work, it didn’t bother me that JP noticed exactly none of it when he showed up at my apartment Tuesday afternoon.

“Welcome to the Center for Chronic Testicular Inflammation, how can I help you?” I asked when my phone went off. The number for the front door wasn’t saved in my contacts, but I’d had enough people over to know what it was when it popped up.

“Yeah, I have a dick appointment,” JP said, his voice taking on the strange warble that happened every time someone buzzed to be let in from my building’s foyer.

“What’s the name?”

“Last name Heretofuckyou, first name Ima.”

“Sorry, the only Ima I have scheduled today has the last name Fuckyougood and that clearly isn’t you. Bye now.”

And I hung up without buzzing him in.

A moment later, my phone rang again. Smirking, I answered it.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“It’s me,” he said.

“Me who? I wasn’t expecting a ‘me’ today.”

“Oh, don’t you remember? We were messaging on the Monster Fucker Ottawa forums about the two-dick dragon dildo you wanted to sell because it was too small for you? Have you decided if you’re willing to part with it yet? I’ve got cash.”

“Absolutely fucking not,” I said indignantly. “I’ll tolerate a lot, but that ship sailed when you told me you were a giraffe furry. Good day, sir!”

The third time my phone rang, JP was laughing before I even said anything.

“Let me in, Nellie,” he said.

“What’s in it for me?” I asked.

“My dick, preferably,” he said. “And the longer it takes for you to let me in, the more time I have to talk about how I’m going to tear your panties off the second I get up there loud enough for the people waiting for their Uber outside the foyer to listen, so—”

“Fine,” I said, heaving a heavy sigh before pressing the button to unlock the door.

He was in the Ottawa area for a client meeting, he’d said when he texted me a few days earlier. And even though it wasn’t a very long meeting, it was a two-hour drive in each direction, so he didn’t have to get back to work afterwards. And since we hypothetically weren’t done with each other, if we wanted to, we could meet up for an orgasm or three before he had to go back to Montreal.

And there was nothing hypothetical about how much I wanted that.

“Who is it?” I called again when he knocked on my door a few minutes later.

“Giovanni Cockeverlasting, the male escort you ordered?” he replied, so loud that the door barely even muffled his voice. “I told you I charge by the minute, sweetheart, so if you don’t want that clock running down—”

I wrenched the door open. “You know I have neighbours who can hear—”

And I was pretty sure there was more to that sentence, but nothing else came out. JP was standing there and I…

I just…

Fuck.

It wasn’t like he’d become a totally different person in the past month. He was still the same JP, with the same golden blonde hair and tanned white skin that made me think of beaches and oceans and surfboards. He was the same height and probably the same weight. The same crooked tooth flashed on the left side of his mouth, the same faded pink of his lips widening into a wolfish grin that made his startling blue eyes sparkle. And while I might not have seen him wear the same outfit before, it was his usual style: a white dress shirt with subtle dots on it and a complementary tie, though he had on fitted tan pants instead of ones matching the navy suit jacket he wore.

“Well,” JP said, taking a step forward and pushing my door the rest of the way open. “I hope for their sake that your neighbours have good ear plugs, babe.”

The door wasn’t even closed when his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me in close and crushing his lips against mine. He used his body to guide me backwards, not breaking his kiss as he pushed us far enough into my apartment that he could swing the door shut behind him. As soon as it closed, he dropped the bag he was holding to the floor, then wrapped his other arm around me. I rested my hands on his biceps, trying not to melt, trying to not to let him distract me with the electricity of his kiss and the relief of his embrace and the enticing bulge of his cock pushing against my belly, already hard for me.

“Asshole,” I breathed, to remind both myself and him that he was an asshole.

He smirked against my mouth. “I missed you too, babe.”

“Don’t ca— ah !” I let out a soft cry, more of surprise than pain, as he nipped at my lower lip.

“Don’t call you that,” he whispered. “I know.”

“If you know, why are you still doing it?” I gasped between kisses.

His laugh brushed against my mouth. “Because I missed seeing that snooty little look I like so much.”

I pulled back, staring up at him with a scoff on my breath. “ Snooty ?!”

His grin widened. “Yeah, just like that.”

I tried not to laugh. “Fuck you.”

“Oh God,” he sighed, and his smile faded into something wistful as he tugged me in closer and slipped his hands down to cup my ass. “Yes, please . Please fuck me. It’s been too long.”

“What are you waiting for, then?” I asked.

He let go of my ass and lifted a hand to my chin, notching his fingers beneath it so he could connect his burning eyes with mine.

“You have to the count of five to show me where your bedroom is, otherwise I’m going to bend you over your kitchen table,” he said. “One… two…”

“Three…” I said, grabbing his hand and directing it to the waistband of my jeans. “Four…”

His chuckle was dark as he batted my hand away so he could unbutton my pants. It came undone easily and a single tug was all it took to get the zipper down. He pushed my jeans and panties down at the same time, then shoved his hand between my legs and let out a pleased hum as he realized I was fucking soaked for him.

“Four and a half…” I murmured.

He took his hand back, grabbing me by the hips and forced me to turn around. Before he could push me down onto the kitchen table, I bent over it and craned my neck to look at him.

“Four and three-quarters,” I said.

“You’re a fucking brat,” he said, laughing over the sound of his belt unbuckling and his pants unzipping.

“You’re the one who threatened me with a good time and isn’t following through,” I said, swaying my hips from side to side. “Four and seven-eigh—”

“Five,” JP grunted, grabbing my hips and pushing his cock in with one swift, deep thrust.

I cried out and he paused, maybe in case I needed to adjust or maybe because if he didn’t, his cock would’ve decided to end things before they’d fully started. Whatever the reason, it was barely enough time for me to brace myself against the table before he started fucking me.

Hard .

Hard enough that I could barely hold myself up. Hard enough that I saw stars. Hard enough to make me think maybe it wasn’t so bad, that maybe a month of not getting laid so I could feel this way in this moment was worth every sexually frustrated second.

Maybe.

Maybe… definitely.

I squeezed my eyes shut, stifling what could only be described as a sob of pleasure as JP’s cock slammed into me. His hips slapped my ass, the sound filling my ears as a backdrop to the steady moans he fucked out of me. Everything about him felt like more than I expected. He felt bigger than I remembered, reaching deeper inside me than I recalled, his cock thick and throbbing and hot in a way I must have forgotten. His head dragged against my G-spot, making me shiver and shake, building up that warm, familiar intense sensation in my core way sooner than I thought it would.

Sooner for both of us, apparently.

“Oh, jeez,” JP grunted, his body shuddering. “I… oh gosh .”

“My goodness gracious,” I said, my voice staggering because even though he was clearly fighting to hold back, he hadn’t stopped thrusting. “Since when do you use such obscene language?”

He laughed at my teasing, his breath coming hard. “I can make it even dirtier for you, babe.”

“What, are you gonna throw a ‘jeepers’ or a ‘good golly’ in there for me? Start calling it fornication instead of fucking?”

“You want to hear about how much I missed fornicating with you, baby?”

My head tilted back as I started to laugh. JP let go of my hip and brought his hand up to the back of my head, so smoothly that I barely noticed until his fingers were woven through my hair and my laughter cut off with a choke. He pulled my head back even more and plunged inside me again, my body slamming against the kitchen table as he hunched forward so his lips were next to my ear.

“Golly, babe, if I’d known just how darn-tootin’ desperate your sweet little caboose was to be filled, I might’ve come to see you a whole heck of a lot sooner,” he said in a confusingly hot growl.

“You’re the worst,” I said on a stilted breath. “My pussy’s gonna go dry if you keep talking like that.”

“That’s a whole lot of malarkey,” he said. “Considering I’m inside you right now and it’s gotta be the hottest”—he stopped, a strangled noise betraying the joking air he was putting on—”and wettest little fanny I’ve ever copulated with—”

“You’re such a bastard.”

His cock twitched as he chuckled. “Really? I think I’m more of a scoundrel.”

“On top of it all, you’re a gigantic dork.”

He let go of my other hip, wrapping his arm around my body, and with a not-unexpected-but-somehow-surprising amount of accuracy, pressed the pad of his middle finger to my clit. “Doesn’t matter. You can sit here pretending all you want, but we both know nothing I say is gonna stop you from coming all over my cock, babe. Not when I can tell how badly you wanted me to stretch this pretty fucking hole of yours.”

I nearly choked on my next inhale as he fingered my clit, his thrusts coming faster than they were before.

“And goodness gracious, I’m gonna make a mess of you,” he murmured, and fire flared through me at the depth of his voice even as he said the stupidest shit. “Such a mess. And here I thought I’d be worried that I wouldn’t last long enough.” He pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. “But that doesn’t matter because you’re so close already. Aren’t you?”

I couldn’t speak. He slowed his fingers.

“I said, aren’t you?” he repeated.

“Yes,” I whimpered. “Yes, I am.”

“Damn right you are.” He started rubbing my clit faster again. “You’re gonna come, and this hot little cunt is gonna choke my cock until I can’t hold back. Are you gonna let me come inside you?”

“Uh-huh,” I said.

His hand tightened in my hair. “You want it, babe?”

I nodded. Well, I tried to. I jerked my head forward as much as JP’s hand would let me and I knew he felt it, because he chuckled.

“Say it. Say you want it.”

“I want it.” I squeezed my eyes closed as pleasure shot through me. “I want you to come in me.”

“Of course you do,” he said. “Because good fucking golly , you’re still a perfect, needy little slut for me, aren’t you?”

And I came. Because of course I did.

Because of course JP was the person who could use good-fucking-golly in his dirty talk and make me explode into a hundred thousand sparks. Of course I cried out, tears springing into my eyes as JP fucked me through my bliss, pounding me harder and harder and harder as he chased his own orgasm.

He groaned when he caught it and followed through with his words, filling my pussy with cum and my head with guilt as I reminded myself I shouldn’t let him come inside me, that I was stupid, that just because I hadn’t gotten laid for a month didn’t mean he hadn’t. And we weren’t exclusive. We never had been. He could’ve been with someone else and not worn a condom.

But, a little voice whispered, JP wouldn’t do that to me.

He stayed behind me, holding me close as he softened inside me. For a while, we were silent, both of us catching our breaths, neither of us quite sure what to say or do next. Finally, he sighed and pressed a kiss to my neck again.

“Jeepers, that was good,” he said, and I’d never told someone to get their stupid dick out of me so fast in my life.

Even though I was laughing the whole time I was doing it.