Keeping Kama

Chapter 13

With a shaky hand, Leia applied the last sweep of mascara to her bottom lashes. Her first day back to teaching had left her exhausted and overwhelmed. Leia received a new student who had a myriad of behavior problems and learning difficulties. It wasn’t anything Leia hadn’t faced before, but for whatever reason, this student challenged her in ways that made her feel out of her depth and control. On top of that, thoughts of the future of the farm whirled around in her head. The reality that Derek was leaving didn’t help either.

Leia tossed her mascara back into her makeup bag, zipping it closed. Leia wondered where Derek was taking her. More importantly, she wondered when Derek was returning to Los Angeles, because she knew with a big ocean in between them, they would be done.

With nothing left to do, Leia left the safety of her bathroom, flipping off the light as she exited. On second thought, Leia shot Derek a text, telling him she’d walk up to her parents’ house, and he could pick her up there.

As she placed her purse over her shoulder, Leia straightened her sleeveless cotton dress before exiting her apartment. The gravel path crunched under her feet as she walked. Leia heard Kai’s voice in the distance, most likely he was on the back lanai of his bungalow. His voice became clearer as she approached, but she remained hidden from his view behind the thick plants and bushes lining the path that wove by his bungalow toward her parents’ house. Alana said something that Leia couldn’t make out.

Leia didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but for whatever reason, she kept her presence hidden by not calling out to them.

Clear as noonday, Kai said, “Derek told us not to tell Leia. That’s part of the deal.”

“I see,” replied Alana.

Freezing in place, behind the safety of the plants, Leia crunched down.

“I think he needs to tell her. I don’t understand the secrecy of the whole thing,” said Kai.

“I agree, but you promised and now you have to leave it alone.” After a long pause, Alana continued, “someday she’ll find out. Things like this never stay hidden, no matter how much someone wants them to.”

“She’s going to get hurt,” said Kai. “I hate that part. I wish …”

Leia had heard enough. Springing upward, she walked toward the back lanai. Soon the edge of Kai and Alana’s back lanai, came into view. “Kai! Alana! Are you back there?” asked Leia in a loud and booming voice.

“Yes,” they replied in unison.

Alana leaned over the railing of their lanai and waved.

With wobbly knees, Leia walked closer to them, waving back. Kai came up next to Alana, leaning over the railing too.

“Where are you off to, Leia?” asked Kai. “You’re dressed way too nice to be heading to Dad and Mom’s.”

Stopping by the side of their back lanai, Leia glanced up to them. “You mean I’m not in my normal lounge wear,” she stated.

Alana whacked Kai on his arm. Clearing her throat, Alana said, “You look pretty, Leia. Are you going somewhere with Derek?”

“Dinner,” said Leia. “I guess some place in Ko Olina.”

“Derek goes home tomorrow,” said Kai. “But I’m sure he already told you.”

Derek hadn’t told Leia, but again she hadn’t asked. Leia knew he wouldn’t stay forever, but the announcement of his for sure immediate departure made her stomach clench and bile trail up her throat.

Instinctively, Leia jutted her chin and replied, “I know.” She shrugged, but her hands trembled. Maybe this was the piece of news Alana and Kai had been discussing? “It’s fine. He’ll go home to Los Angeles, and everything will go back to the way it was before.”

Kai raised a skeptical eyebrow and asked, “Are you sure about that, little sis?”

Alana squeezed Kai on his forearm. “I hope you two have a nice time.” She gave Kai a pointed look, before shifting back to smile at Leia.

With a forced smile, Leia said, “Thanks. I will. Have a nice night.” Swiftly, Leia walked past their back lanai toward her parents’ home.

As Leia approached her parents’ front lanai, Derek stood from where he sat alone, waiting for her arrival. Her parents must have been gone for the evening, maybe they had ventured to Aria and Kalon’s house for dinner? If she had known, Leia wouldn’t have asked him to wait there for her.

Derek had on the same khaki shorts and Hawaiian shirt he wore to her parents’ house for dinner. Taking the steps down two at a time, soon Derek arrived in front of her. Before she had time to think, Derek brought her tight against his body in a warm, inviting embrace.

“Leia,” said Derek. His voice tickled her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. “You look beautiful.”

Closing her eyes for a moment, Leia tried to remember the strength of his arms, the smell of his shampoo, the rustling of his stubble against her cheek. If this was the last night she spent with him, Leia cared to remember every little thing about him.

Finally, Leia broke their embrace, stumbling a step backward. While she regained her footing, Leia pinched the front of his Hawaiian shirt. “Let me guess, this is your new favorite shirt.” She let go of his shirt, glancing up at him to meet his gaze.

His hands glided down his abdomen, and Derek said, “I know you like this on me—so I wore it—again.” He shuffled his feet. His cheeks reddened with each passing second. Dang, he looked cute.

As Leia cupped his cheek, she said, “I’m only teasing you.”

Derek gulped. “Ok.” He scratched his jaw.

Her lips twitched into a smirk, and Leia said, “I think you look good— really good.”

A huge grin lit up his face. Derek wrapped his arms around Leia’s waist, tugging her closer again. He kissed her quickly on the lips. “I hope you like shrimp,” said Derek.

“I love it,” said Leia.

Unwrapping his arms from around her, Derek’s hand glided down the length of her arm until his fingers intertwined with hers. “Great, because I have it on good authority there is a fantastic restaurant in Ko Olina that makes the best shrimp and macadamia nut pie. Plus, I heard the view is unreal.”

For a second, Leia almost brought up her knowledge of Derek’s departure tomorrow, but she didn’t want to ruin the evening. Instead, she interlaced her fingers with his own. They walked hand in hand to Derek’s rental car parked in the driveway. Derek opened the passenger side door, holding it open for Leia. Leia slid into the seat.

For a second Derek paused and gripped the corner of the door. Slowly, he swallowed. Leia stared as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” sputtered Derek. He met her gaze. “I should’ve told you earlier. If you don’t want to go out with me tonight, because I’m leaving, I totally understand.”

“I know,” said Leia. She broke eye contact, staring out the windshield. “Kai and Alana told me.” She paused, her heartbeat rapidly building. Shifting her gaze back toward Derek, Leia stated, “I don’t care. I mean I’m not happy you’re leaving, but I knew the end was inevitable. But I still want to spend tonight with you.”

Derek released his grip on the door, moving it back to the handle. “Then let’s make it a night to remember.” Then he closed the door.

They drove from the north shore down to Ko Olina, arriving as the sun slipped a little further. The sun’s rays stretched out across the water in a glittering dazzling white. Derek found a spot in the public parking lot next to the Ko Olina Marina. Once out of the car, they walked toward the path wedged between the beach and the resorts. A light breeze made the salty air dance around them as he took her hand. They walked the paved walkway weaving around the Ko Olina lagoons and resorts.

Back when Derek was a child, he had vacationed with his parents in Ko Olina. It was a memory tucked way back in his psyche, but as he came around the bend on the path and saw the resort where he had stayed at as a child, Derek halted in place. Leia nearly tripped at his abrupt stop.

Derek stared back at the resort as a wave of happy memories washed over him. He missed his parents and being a part of a family. His voice cracked as he pointed up toward a tall tower. “I stayed there as a kid.” Derek gulped. “I came here once for two weeks in the summer. I remember my classmates were jealous that I was spending some of my summer vacation in Hawaii. It was the only time my parents ever visited here.” Sweat lathered his brow. Derek swiped at it with the heel of his hand.

Leia linked her hands around the crook of his elbow. “What was your favorite part about the trip?” asked Leia.

“Um. Let me think for a minute.” Derek glanced out at the lagoon, giving way to the ocean. His mind flooded with the trapped-up memories of the past. He stepped forward, walking again. Leia kept her grip on his elbow, slowly sliding it down his arm until their fingers touched.

“We went on a snorkeling cruise out of the marina back there. The fish were beautiful, and I loved every minute of it. My mom hated snorkeling. She lasted a mere five minutes, because she didn’t like being out in the deep water. It scared her when she couldn’t touch the bottom. So, my mom went back to the boat, but my dad and I swam for as long as they let us.” Rubbing the back of his neck, Derek exhaled, making his shoulders droop. “Geez, I miss them.”

Giving his hand a squeeze, Leia said, “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how much.”

“Sometimes, it’s like I can’t breathe. Knowing that I don’t have one single person on this earth who’s attached to me— it’s incredibly lonely.” Derek gripped his chest, waiting for the thunder of his pulse ringing in his ears to dissipate. Exhaling, the tightness in between his shoulder blades loosened a tad as his breathing evened out. “And being around you and your family has made me remember the feeling of security and love that comes when you have people in your life who care about you. You are lucky, Leia. So very lucky.”

Gnawing on her bottom lip, Leia said, “I know how much I have and not everyone has that. I’m so thankful for my parents, Kai and Alana, and the magic we have together at Kama Farm.” Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she paused then added, “You don’t have to feel so alone anymore. You have me now. I care. I’ll be only a text or phone call away. I’d love for you to stay a part of my life.”

Derek wanted to scream it wouldn’t be enough, not with an ocean in between them. But instead, he leaned over and kissed Leia on the temple. “I appreciate that. I’m sure I’ll take you up on the offer. I’ll probably call and text you so much you’ll block my number.”

Leia laughed, whittling away at the tension inside of him. “I highly doubt that, because once you get back to your real life you won’t have time for me.”

Opening his mouth to reply, Derek was interrupted by a large group passing by them on the tight sidewalk. They sidestepped out of the way, letting the group walk past. Once the group was gone, they continued toward the restaurant. Derek stared at the water as he walked, remembering the day from so long ago. It was like his parents were there again with him, if only for the briefest second. He waited for the dull ache to enter his being, but instead he felt grateful for the memories he shared with his parents. Giving Leia’s hand a squeeze, Derek knew the difference was her, there with him.

After they arrived at the restaurant, they were led to a table overlooking the ocean. Settling into their chairs, they took their menus from the host. The host brought some bread and water, before leaving them to settle in.

As she scanned the menu, Leia asked, “So you’ve heard the shrimp is good here?” She took a sip of her water.

Laying his menu flat against the table in front of himself, Derek asked, “You haven’t eaten here before?”

“Never,” said Leia. Flipping her dark silky hair over her shoulder, the strands glistened from the last light of the sun. “I don’t come to Ko Olina much. It’s way on the other side of the island from the north shore and with the traffic it takes far too long.”

“What about when you worked as a lifeguard at Waikiki Beach? Wasn’t that a long drive?” asked Derek.

“Oh.” Leia replied, “I used to stay with one of my many great aunts who has an apartment in Waikiki. She let me sleep over at her place on the days I worked. I usually would work two or three days in a row then I would have the next three or four days off, so I’d go home. But I only worked there in the summers during college to save money for my expenses.”

“I know you’re plenty strong.” Derek glanced at the menu again. “You saved me after all, so don’t take this the wrong way, but aren’t most of the lifeguards on the island men?” asked Derek.

Leia whacked him on the arm. “Hey, you don’t think a woman can be a lifeguard?” She raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look.

“No.” Derek shook his head. “They absolutely can be lifeguards. Like I said, you were plenty strong to save me, but I’m only curious what made you want to do that when most of the other lifeguards were men.”

“Do you want the truth?” asked Leia while she fiddled with her silverware.

Derek shifted closer to her and placed his hand over Leia’s fidgeting hand. “I do.” He weaved his fingers through hers.

“I wanted to prove I could do it, do something most women couldn’t.” With her free hand, Leia took another sip of her water. “Kai was always making fun of how weak I was. He liked to say I used it as an excuse to get out of doing chores around the farm. The weak thing got stuck in my head, and I had to prove him wrong. If I could be strong enough to be a lifeguard with a bunch of men, then I was strong. Does that make sense?” She stared back at him.

Derek sat in awe. Her determination he found incredibly attractive. “A thousand percent,” he said.

Grinning, Leia said, “It also didn’t hurt that I spent my college days around a bunch of ripped guys. It certainly made the job more enjoyable.” Her lips twitched.

Derek laughed, “I’m sure it did.”

The server finally came by and took their order. Both ordered garlic shrimp along with a slice of macadamia nut pie for dessert. After the server left, they sat staring out at the ocean. The sun disappeared, being replaced by a full moon with bright glowing stars. Derek dreaded tomorrow.

Leia broke the peaceful silence. “When do you leave tomorrow?” She turned toward him, pulling her gaze away from the ocean to him.

With a quick glance at her, Derek stared out at the ocean not wanting to look Leia in the eyes. “Early,” said Derek. “I’ll be gone before you get up.”

Nodding her head, Leia paused then asked, “Do you think you’ll ever come back?”

“Boy, I hope so,” said Derek.

“Then I guess that’s that. You’ll go home. I’ll stay here. And this …” Leia waved a finger between them, “this will just end.”

Exhaling, Derek wondered how to reply. He wanted to say no, surely there was a way for them to be together. A way for the impossible to be possible, but he didn’t have a solution. Maybe Leia had been only a distraction from Heather? But the argument didn’t hold up. His mind was a muddled mess. Nothing made sense anymore. How could one woman make him question everything?

His throat suddenly dry, Derek gulped and replied, “I don’t want it to end, but I don’t know how to make it work either.”

“See?” asked Leia. “We both knew it was foolish getting involved with one another. I wish I had listened to my gut on this one.”

The air crackled with kinetic catastrophic energy. He knew what he needed to tell Leia was about to make everything a thousand times worse. But Derek couldn’t slink away. It wasn’t right, and if he did, she’d hate him even more than if he’d only fessed up.

Taking a deep breath, Derek said, “And, Leia, my investment firm is not investing in the farm.”

Her jaw dropped, and every sound in the universe was instantly silenced.