Keeping You (Destined Love #3)

31. Grayson

CHAPTER 31

Grayson

I ’m dead on my feet when I walk in the door Saturday morning after my Friday night shift. I’m hoping to eat something with Hannah before she heads in for her day shift. I drop my keys on the counter before making my way to the bedroom to find her. The door is cracked as I make my way down the hallway, and her voice filters out.

“The wedding is the day before the end of the ninety days.”

I stop dead in my tracks. I knew the ninety days ended the day after Caleb and Bailey’s wedding. I’ve had the date ingrained in my brain since she agreed to this arrangement. I just didn’t think she was thinking about it as much. I guess I let myself get caught up in everything. I knew she wanted out of this marriage. I’m not sure why I let it get away from me.

“I don’t know what to say,” she says. “It’s all so much.”

I turn around and grab my keys off the counter and head to grab some food.

I’m sitting in Sammy’s Diner waiting for my food when Eliza slides into the booth across from me.

She assesses me for a few moments before she says, “So, when are you going to tell her?”

I take a sip of my water, not wanting to have this conversation right now. Hannah’s words are still tossing around in my mind as I try to come to terms with the fact that in eight days, my marriage may be over. The thing that makes it sting a little more is the day before I get to stand up with my friend and watch him marry the love of his life.

“I’m not,” I say.

Liz sits back in her seat and shakes her head. “Down right dumb, the both of you,” she says, and I choke on my water.

“Excuse me?”

“Both of you refuse to see what’s right in front of your faces. I can’t tell either of you, because for some reason neither of you can understand reason.”

I shake my head, trying to understand what she’s skirting around, but she changes the subject.

“How’s your dad?”

I clear my throat. “He’s good. Not a huge fan of his new diet, but him and Mom are enjoying their walks together.”

My server places my food in front of me and a takeout bag in front of Liz. She thanks the server and stands.

“Grayson, just remember, don’t fuck this up.” With those parting words, she leaves the diner, and I’m left staring at her back, wondering what the fuck just happened.

When I return to the apartment, Hannah’s gone, and I shower and crash. For the next two days, we’re like passing ships in the night, one getting up and ready for work as the other comes home and crashes. Tuesday is the first day we have off together, and the tension in the air is palpable. I don’t know what to say to Hannah. I want her more than I did at the beginning of this, but I’m not sure I can put my heart on the line anymore and ask her to stay.

Opening up to her at the tree was hard enough. Reliving that pain all over again had me nauseous. Her touch was like a salve to my heart as I told her my deepest secret. She stayed with me, too. She didn’t try to leave or talk me out of my feelings; she listened and held me. I didn’t think I could fall more in love with her, but I was wrong.

We sit to have lunch together, and she slides a piece of paper with a list on it across to me.

“I did some research, and these are some of the best therapists that deal with trauma from youth and PTSD. I think one of them could help you. I’ve added their numbers and where they practice so you can also search them if you want.”

She tucks her head as if embarrassed, but my heart wants to beat out of my chest. I haven’t found the time since getting back to research therapists like I said I should, but she just took it right off my to-do list for me, finding multiple that would meet my specific needs. Hannah Smith doesn’t know it yet, but she holds my heart in her palm, and with every gesture like this, she squeezes it a bit more, making giving her up that much harder.

I place two fingers under her chin and force her to look at me. “Thank you,” I whisper, and she nods.

I need to make the most of the last few days I have with her, so I ask, “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”

Her eyes widen as she nibbles on her bottom lip. “Yeah, that would be nice,” she says.

We finish eating, and I head out to grab a few things. Returning, I hide them in my office until it’s time for us to leave. I’ve made us a reservation at one of my favourite upscale restaurants in the city. I tell Hannah to dress to the nines, and she spends a few hours getting ready. When she steps out of the bedroom in an emerald dress that lands at her mid-calf and hugs her every curve, my mouth goes dry.

She’s stunning.

The dress has long sleeves, and the neckline comes up to her throat. She’s completely covered, yet I know what’s underneath all that fabric. I’ve spent my time tracing her body with not only my eyes, but my fingers, my tongue.

I reach down and adjust myself in my slacks and approach her. I hand her the bouquet of lilies and carnations I grabbed earlier. Her face lights up as she takes the flowers and sticks her nose in them, inhaling deeply.

“Lilies are my favourite,” she says as she fills a vase with water and settles them inside.

I know , I think.

After locking the door behind us, I take Hannah’s hand, needing to touch her as much as possible while I still can.

The lighting is intimate in the restaurant as soft music fills the air, but I barely notice any of it as I stare at Hannah. The way her hair delicately cascades over one shoulder, or when her finger meticulously runs through the condensation on her water glass. My skin heats at the feeling of her eyes on me. Her pupils dilate when I adjust my watch or take a slow sip of my wine. The sexual tension could be cut with a knife, and as much as I want to take her hand and leave with her, I want to draw it out, because I know that when we get home, we’ll be explosive.

“What are you girls doing Friday night?” I ask, needing something so my control doesn’t snap.

“Liv’s parents are taking Cate, and Charlie will be with Caleb’s mom, so after we get our nails done, it’s a night in with movies, snacks, and booze,” she says. I hear the happiness for Bailey and Caleb, but also longing in her voice. I know our Vegas wedding deprived her of what she always wanted.

If I could, I’d go back and make sure it was everything she wanted. Everything.

I take a deep sip of wine and decide to admit to something I haven’t told her yet. I didn’t think I’d tell her.

“I remember more of our wedding than I let on,” I say.

She sits straight, eyes assessing me.

“The next morning it was flashes, but it’s come back to me more since then. I remember being super drunk. We’d been at the end of weekend mixer. You weren’t going to go, but some nurses convinced you to come. We ended up in some big group together.” I smile, thinking about it. “You were wearing this white dress with little green flowers on it and these wedged sandals. Some doctor from a hospital in Edmonton was hitting on you. You smiled at him, and I almost lost my cool.”

I take another sip of wine, needing it to continue. Hannah watches me with rapt attention, but I can’t tell how this story is impacting her. Is she mad that I didn’t tell her? Curious for more details?

“We ended up outside the hotel, and some guy was offering people money to do insane things. You were the first to spot him. I could see the excitement in your eyes. He offered you twenty dollars to get a piggy back from a stranger for five minutes, and you did. You then made me do it. He said he’d give me fifty dollars to marry someone of his choosing. I said no, but you insisted. I was so drunk and wanted to see more of the truly carefree smile you had, so I gave in. He picked you. He took us to some chapel a few blocks down. We stopped at this jewelry store you saw on the way and picked out rings before we got married by an Elvis impersonator. The guy handed me the cash and left. We somehow made it back to the hotel. You insisted we spend our first night as newlyweds together and came to my room. You walked in the door, stripped, and climbed into one of the beds before crashing. I climbed in the other and went to bed, too.”

She runs her teeth over her lip as her fingers run up and down the stem of her wineglass. I’m on the edge of my seat, unsure of what’s running through her mind, needing to know what she’s thinking.

“Hannah,” I prompt.

She sighs. “As much as I hate to say it, it sounds like me. The girls have always told me I’m extremely impulsive when I drink, and I guess because there hasn’t been any lingering repercussions, I’ve never truly believed them. I know I like to push boundaries when I’m sober, so I guess this is just a natural progression of that.”

“So, you’re not mad?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “Mad for what? That we both let alcohol drive us to get married? No. I was when we first woke up and you told me. It was a lot to take in. I never thought it was something that would happen.” She pauses, mulling over her words. “If I look at it now, I can’t say it’s the worst thing that’s happened to me. I’ve enjoyed the last three months. I’ve realized a few things that I don’t think I could have without it.”

There’s so much between her words, and I want to ask her, but she beats me to it. “While we’re admitting things, I should probably tell you that when this first started, I tried to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days you.” She looks at me through her lashes, and it all hits me and I can’t help but laugh.

“I see it now,” I say, and she blushes. “I knew something about that movie felt familiar.”

She looks at me wide-eyed. “You’ve watched the movie?”

I guess I’m just spilling a ton of secrets to her tonight. “Yeah. I’ve watched a few of your movies. I’ve also read some of your books. I wanted to experience some of the things that bring you joy.”

She opens her mouth before closing it. She tips her head back and releases a slow breath.

I want to take the attention off me and circle back to her comments about the last three months, but as I open my mouth, our server arrives with our food. He places the plates in front of us before walking away.

Hannah seems to have moved on when she asks, “I know Caleb didn’t want a big bachelor party, so what are you guys doing?”

I cut into my steak, taking out some of my frustration at not being able to get more answers. “Poker and beers,” I say.

She nods, and the conversation moves on to small talk. I’m not sure if I should be happy that after everything we can slip into simple conversation, or disappointed that we aren’t going back to our previous conversation.

When we finish eating, I pay the bill and we leave the restaurant. A cool breeze sweeps through the streets, and Hannah wraps her arms around my right arm and holds herself close to me. I relish the feeling. The breeze comes again right as we reach the car and causes the scent of her perfume to fill my nose. I want to spend the rest of my life smelling that sweet, floral scent on her.