Keepsakes from the Cottage by the Loch (Loch Cameron #6)

Chapter 29

TWENTY-NINE

‘Kel. You can have crisps or biscuits, but not both,’ Ramsay said as he and Tara stood at the snack bar and waited while Kelly regarded the range of snacks there with a deeply serious gaze. Finally, she pointed shyly to a pile of luscious-looking flapjacks on display under a glass dome.

‘Good choice. Let’s all have one,’ Ramsay chuckled, and asked the friendly-looking woman in the booth for three flapjacks. ‘Coffee?’ he asked Tara, who nodded.

‘Cappuccino, please,’ she asked, and smiled at Kelly, who was holding Ramsay’s hand. ‘Shall I have chocolate sprinkles? That’s the question.’

‘Oh, most definitely. Kelly likes to drink the foam from my coffee, and it’s even better with chocolate,’ Ramsay chuckled.

‘Oh! I will, then.’ Tara winked at Kelly. Kelly broke into a goofy smile.

‘Yummy!’ She giggled.

Tara understood that Kelly was feeling shy. It was normal for a nine-year-old when a new adult was introduced, even though she and Ramsay were taking things very cautiously.

Tara had been back in Glasgow for a few weeks, and she was back visiting Loch Cameron on a sunny weekend in late September. This was the first time she’d met Kelly, and she’d been nervous about it. It was silly, she told herself: she taught nine-year-olds. She shouldn’t be scared of one. But, this was different. This was Ramsay’s daughter.

The day they’d kissed at the bar, Tara had realised that she wanted to be with him. All the doubts and fears she’d had had been put into perspective. It wasn’t that she didn’t have those feelings, still: she didn’t know what was going to happen in the future between them. But she wanted to be with him. And that was enough for now.

‘Come on. Let’s get a bench.’ Ramsay pointed to one that was free, and they made their way over to it, Kelly skipping ahead as they walked. Tara was reminded of that day she had come to Gyle Head and mistakenly thought that Ramsay was married.

‘I could have saved myself a lot of confusion if I’d just stayed and talked to you, that day,’ she said, as they sat down.

‘When?’

‘When I came here to meet you and then ran away. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.’ She took her coffee as he handed it to her. ‘Thanks.’

‘Ah, maybe. But it’s understandable why you didn’t.’ He took a flapjack out of a paper bag and handed one to Kelly. ‘There you go, poppet. I’ve got the water bottle if you want it.’ He took off a backpack and slung it next to the bench.

‘You came prepared, I see.’ Tara nodded to the bag.

‘Ah. Yes. Dad backpack. Sorry.’ He looked a little embarrassed.

‘Don’t be sorry. It’s practical. I’ve always got wet wipes, snacks and hand sanitiser.’

‘Then you know.’

‘Daddy? Can I play?’ Kelly had taken some bites from the flapjack, and had stood up, skipping on the spot.

‘Sure, baby. Stay where I can see you, okay? And I’ll come and watch you on the swings in a while,’ he said.

‘Can Tara watch me too?’ Kelly asked.

‘Sure, honey. I’ll be right there,’ Tara said, a warm glow enveloping her heart. Kelly nodded, handed Ramsay her half-eaten snack and skipped off.

‘She’s a happy thing. You’re doing a good job,’ Tara observed.

‘Agh. I hope so.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘She likes you, I can tell.’

‘She’s sweet.’ Tara watched Kelly as she climbed the central pyramid-shaped climbing frame with ease. ‘Good that she’s physically adventurous, too. Some kids – especially girls – you see their parents socialising them in particular ways from when they’re little. You know, telling them they can’t do things. I’ve seen parents stand at the bottom of climbing frames like that and yell at their daughters to come down, because they can’t climb that high.’

‘Oh, no. I mean, yeah, when she was younger, my heart was always in my mouth, watching her climb. But I’d never stop her. I was just there in case she fell. If she needed a hand, I’d get her, but she hardly ever did. I always thought about your parents, how they always gave me confidence about dancing. Tried to do the same for Kel.’ He shrugged. ‘Nowadays she’s old enough for me not to worry too much. In a couple of years she’ll probably be boy crazy, so I’m appreciating her still being a little girl for now.’

‘Well, you should be very proud of her. And yourself,’ Tara added. ‘And, she’ll always be your little girl. It’s good that you’re being such a good dad to her. Breaking the cycle of toxic parenting and all that.’

‘I guess so. I mean, yes. I consciously wanted to do that. Not repeat what was done to me.’

‘You would never do that. ’

‘I know. But it’s a fear,’ he sighed. ‘Listen. I know this is all very weird. But I really appreciate you coming back to visit.’ Ramsay turned his gaze to her. ‘I know it was awful timing. Us kissing on the day you went home.’

‘It’s okay. You can’t control these things,’ she said.

‘How’s it been, back at school?’

‘Ugh. Terrible, actually,’ Tara sighed. She always loved her children, but things at Lomond Primary were worse than ever. There was a new Head, who had already sacked half of the staff, and Tara’s morale was seriously low. ‘And I missed you.’

‘I’ve missed you too,’ he murmured, and leaned in towards her, putting the tips of his forefingers under her chin. ‘And I want more of that kiss.’

Tara’s lips met his. This time, it was relaxed and unhurried, and she relished his touch: the way he tasted, the softness of his mouth on hers.

Of course, she remembered how Ramsay kissed. She’d kissed him thousands of times. But, it had been ten years, and he was a man now, not a teenager.

The urgency in his kiss took her breath away; the way he held her gently but firmly and the heat that rose between them as his hands caressed her cheek and then found her waist and pulled her to him. Finally, he pulled away, keeping his eyes fixed on hers.

‘Well, that was…’ she trailed off. ‘Hmm.’

‘Hmm, good?’ Ramsay smiled that smile that had won them so many competitions. ‘I’m hoping for good.’

‘You know it was good.’ She tapped him playfully on the arm. ‘That was never a problem for us.’

‘No, it wasn’t,’ he said, holding her gaze. She felt her cheeks flush, remembering how it had used to be between them. Their physical relationship had always been as harmonious as their dancing partnership – perhaps because of that, she didn’t know. But lovemaking had always been fun, sometimes silly, always honest, always kind and in sync. Tara realised how much she’d missed being in Ramsay’s arms. And how much she’d missed being intimate together, too. All those small moments, woven into the mesh of a relationship.

‘I have something for you,’ he said, letting go of her for a moment and reaching into his pocket. ‘If you’ll take it.’

‘What is this?’ Tara asked, alarmed, as Ramsay presented her with a small red jewellery box. For a moment, she wondered whether it was a ring. ‘It’s not my birthday.’

‘I know. But I missed ten of them, so…’ he shrugged. ‘An update, then.’

She opened the box.

Inside, a gold heart locket sat on a delicate gold chain. She took in a deep breath.

‘Ramsay! This is too much!’ she stuttered, startled and taken aback. She took the necklace out and held it in her hand: it was a good weight, clearly well-made and expensive.

‘Daddy!’ Kelly called from the swings.

‘Coming, baby,’ he replied to his daughter, then turned to Tara. ‘Not at all too much. As if anything would ever be too much for you. I thought it could replace the old one. And this is a heart in one piece. Not one, broken in two.’ Ramsay stood up.

‘Thank you. It’s beautiful,’ she breathed. ‘I’ll always treasure the old one, though. It has a lot of memories attached to it.’

‘Of course. But some of those memories were bad, eh? We can start fresh with this one, I thought. And it’s a locket, so you can put a photo in it. Of anyone, it doesn’t have to be me.’ He grinned and held out a hand for Tara. She took it, and followed him into the playground, thinking that if anyone was watching them, what a sweet little family they made. It was, of course, very early days, and she had to get to know Ramsay again, and build a relationship with Kelly too, if she wanted to be in a relationship with him. But, she found that she was willing to do that.

She couldn’t believe that he’d bought her the locket. It was such a beautiful, thoughtful gift.

‘Of course it’ll be you. Us, maybe. A picture of us from way back when,’ she said, smiling.

Her phone buzzed; she looked at it and saw that it was a text from Emily.

Sure I can’t tempt you? she had written, with an attachment to a job advert for class teacher at Loch Cameron Primary.

What on earth am I waiting for? Tara thought. She replied with a smiley face.

OK. As long as there’s good biscuits in the staff room, then I’m in she replied, and put her phone back in her pocket. She felt it buzz again and smiled to herself, anticipating Emily’s excited reply.

‘Okay.’ Tara stood behind the swing as Kelly sat on it. ‘Are you ready? Because this is going to go high.’

‘Ready!’ Kelly squealed excitedly.

Tara pulled the swing back by the chains and let it go, grinning at Ramsay as Kelly whooped, swinging high up into the wide, blue sky.